9. Quinn
9
QUINN
A fter the long week, Quinn had planned to sleep in, but she woke with the birds the next morning as usual and blinked to life in the pale, gray dawn of the cabin.
She stretched and snuggled back under the blankets for a minute, but a million ideas for next year were already lighting up her mind and she knew she would never get back to sleep.
You won’t be in charge next year, she reminded herself.
But that didn’t matter. She still wanted the farm to do well. And if it did, that would be good news for Beau and Zandy.
Her heart ached at the thought of the little girl trying to comfort her last night over the trees that were leaving.
Don’t be sad about the trees. There will be lots more next year.
That could always be true for Zandy, and Quinn was committed to leaving the place primed for success.
She sat up in bed and looked around the cabin. The high wooden ceiling allowed her loft bed to be located over a little kitchenette. From her perch, she could see every window in the place. Right now, they were all looking out over a pretty snowscape. She felt like a character in a fairy tale, ensconced in a sweet little cottage in an enchanted wood.
“And the cutting is done,” she said to herself. That was honestly the most magical feeling of all.
She climbed down the ladder and headed into the little bathroom to freshen up and shower. Then she would jot down some notes about what Beau might want to look into for next year.
When she was clean and dressed, she rummaged around the kitchen, starting up the coffeemaker and putting on hot water for oatmeal. She flicked on the little radio on the counter and Mariah Carey’s version of “Silent Night” filled the cabin with the sweet sounds of a choir.
It made Quinn think of her mom, who had always loved this song. She reminded herself it would be good to get over there this weekend and see her parents, now that the harvest was done.
She and Mom could plan out their Thanksgiving feast together this year, since Quinn wouldn’t be working all week to get the trees cut and loaded up like they both thought she’d be.
She headed over to the small wooden table where she kept a stack of library books and her phone charger, and grabbed her phone to message her mom.
The moment the phone was in her hand it chirped, and she wondered who on earth would be messaging her this early on a Saturday morning.
Beau Wilson
hey, thanks for going over the books with me
The message sent her instantly back to last night. It had been so nice to share a few quiet hours with Beau and Zandy. She smiled to herself, sort of surprised he was bothering to say thank you. After all, she was just doing her job.
What a nice guy.
For some reason she suddenly remembered the feeling of him beside her at the table, and that thing he’d said echoed in her mind again.
Too bad we can’t just get married.
She frowned and told herself to respond like a normal person instead of sitting here thinking about a joke he’d made like a teenager with a crush.
sure, thanks for dinner
how’s zandy?
She had a moment of worry, wondering if it was appropriate to bring up his child like they were friends or something, when he had only been talking about a work meeting. Though the meeting had been at his house, so maybe that was okay.
Thankfully, the dots popped up again right away to indicate he was writing back.
she’s actually why i’m writing - she wants to go see the trees on horseback today and she asked me if you could come :)
Quinn smiled down at the message. Zandy had really taken it in when she said her dad might take her out to look at the trees. It was a good thing for him to do with her. There was no way Zandy could be sad when she saw the jaw-dropping number of trees that were still growing on the farm.
in costume, or as myself?
She cringed at her dumb joke, but again the dots popped up almost instantly.
as yourself, of course—captain Christmas tree
He followed it up with a superhero emoji and a Christmas tree emoji.
Quinn laughed.
okay, i’m in
we can swing by and pick you up in an hour—sound good?
and maybe you and i can talk after?
Suddenly, her heart was pounding and she got that nervous feeling like she wanted to shut down.
Talk after could mean anything.
What if I mess it up?
But for once, instead of quickly typing out that she had forgotten a prior commitment or making some other excuse, she found her thumbs tapping out a different response.
sure, see you then!
A moment later a thumbs-up symbol appeared next to her message.
She placed the phone back on the table and shook her head, unable to believe she suddenly had a plan for the day.
“Sorry,” she murmured to the library books she’d been planning to curl up with after breakfast. “Maybe tomorrow.”
* * *
An hour later, Quinn was just zipping up her coat when there was a knock at the cabin door. She pulled it open to find Beau and Zandy standing on her porch. Two horses waited in the snowy grass below.
“We’re going to visit the Christmas trees,” Zandy said immediately. “Are you so happy?”
“I sure am,” Quinn told her, closing up the cabin behind her.
“I brought Dancer for you,” Beau said, nodding toward the horses. “Frank told me she’s your favorite.”
“Not in front of Blitzen,” Quinn whispered loudly, hoping to make Zandy laugh.
Sure enough, the little girl giggled.
“He’s my favorite,” Beau said, winking at her. “So it’s okay.”
Quinn laughed with Zandy at that as she followed the two of them down the steps to the horses.
“Hello, Dancer,” she said softly.
The pretty piebald mare whickered at her and stretched her neck out to check Quinn’s pockets for treats.
“Not today, girl,” Quinn said. “I’m sorry. I have to buy more apples.”
She stroked Dancer’s cheek and gave her a kiss on her velvety muzzle.
“We can get some apples from Grandma,” Zandy said. “She has lots. I’m going to help her bake pies after our ride.”
“Sounds good,” Quinn told her.
If Zandy was going off with Anne-Marie, then she and Beau would be talking alone after the ride. Quinn tried not to give it too much thought, instead swinging up onto the horse, and leaning down to give her neck a scratch.
“Ready, Zandy?” Beau asked.
“Yes,” Zandy told him.
He lifted her up onto the horse and then hopped on behind her. Something about the sight of the cute little girl safe in the arms of the big man on the even bigger horse made Quinn’s heart thump.
She looked back down at Dancer’s neck and gave the mare another scratch, reminding herself that they were just going for a nice morning ride.
“Where to first?” Beau asked.
Quinn looked up and realized he was looking at her.
“Let’s go see the Balsam firs,” she told him.
Those firs were in a really nice field of relatively small trees that she thought Zandy would love. And the Balsams liked shade, so they were down in the valley. If Zandy didn’t get bored and they worked their way up from there, they would be treated to a nice view at the end of their tour.
“You heard the lady,” Beau whooped. “Let’s go.”
He gave Blitzen’s belly a light squeeze and Zandy let out a stream of giggles as the big horse cantered down the path through the woods.
Quinn smiled and followed after them, enjoying the cold breeze on her cheeks and the sounds of the horses huffing and the birds singing.
While she loved the fields of evergreens, there was something wonderful about a ride in the wild woods to get there. Being up on the horse’s back let her see the world from a slightly different angle as she moved along with Dancer’s unique rhythm instead of her own.
When the path widened, Beau pulled Blizten up a little, allowing Dancer to trot along beside them.
“Do you like to ride the horses?” Zandy asked Quinn immediately.
“Of course,” Quinn told her right away. “It’s the best way to get around the whole farm. And it’s fun. How about you?”
“ I love it ,” Zandy said.
“Well, we can do it all the time now that we live on the farm,” Beau told her.
“I was scared of Blitzen,” Zandy admitted suddenly.
“Well, he’s a pretty big horse,” Quinn said.
“And he snorted,” Zandy said, nodding.
“Why did he snort?” Quinn asked.
“He wanted snacks,” Zandy said very seriously.
“Well, if snorting was the only way to get snacks, I would probably snort too,” Quinn decided.
That earned her a belly laugh from Zandy and a grin from Beau.
Quinn knew it wasn’t that funny. They were all just happy to be out riding through a snowy Christmas tree farm.
Me especially, she realized. I’ve been lonely lately.
But it didn’t make sense for her to feel that way, and she tried to reject the thought as soon as it came. After all, she had been on the farm, which meant she was talking every day with all the workers and with Anne-Marie, plus the guys in town whenever she stopped into the village for supplies. Her life was busier and more filled with people than ever.
But if she was being honest with herself, as kind as everyone on the farm was, she knew that she was Quinn-the-manager to them, not Quinn-the-person. And she hadn’t had a lot of time lately to visit with her parents or catch up with friends.
I’m going to make a real effort this year, she told herself. So I don’t go thinking I’m falling for Beau Wilson and his little girl just because they make me feel less lonesome.
“I see Christmas trees,” Zandy yelled out, her bright voice slicing through the cold morning air as they reached the bottom of the hill at last.
Quinn tried not to smile. There were Christmas trees everywhere, as far as the eye could see. But she knew what the little one meant.
“You can see the rows now, right?” she asked. “It looks like they were planted on purpose, doesn’t it?”
“Yes,” Zandy said. “They’re babies.”
Quinn looked out on the perfectly even rows of thigh-high Balsams. So far, they’d been lucky and most of the little trees were growing strong. There were only a handful of empty spaces where a tree had been lost.
“Should we get down and look?” Beau asked Zandy.
“No, I want those,” Zandy said matter-of-factly, pointing up the hillside a bit further to the bigger trees.
“Okay,” Quinn said. “Let’s go.”
Beau clucked to Blitzen, and both horses ambled up the hillside path. The sun was warm on Quinn’s face as she rode, and she inhaled the delicious scent of the trees.
I’m going to miss this…
“Now, let’s stop,” Zandy yelled.
As they dismounted, Quinn couldn’t help noticing Zandy taking off the minute her little feet hit the ground, boots crunching through the thin layer of snow.
“Where are they?” Zandy demanded, stopping in one of the many open spaces between trees. “Where did they go?”
“The year we planted this field we had a lot of bugs,” Quinn told her. “Some of the baby trees didn’t make it. So the ones that are growing here are even more special because it means they’re really strong.”
“They didn’t make it?” Zandy echoed sadly.
“Some trees don’t get to be Christmas trees,” Quinn told her. “But that doesn’t mean they don’t get to be helpful. Some of the trees that don’t grow the right way to be Christmas trees get to be mulch for beautiful gardens and big playgrounds.”
She didn’t mention that the bug-infested trees obviously weren’t used in that way.
“Or wood pellets,” Beau said. “Like for Grandma’s wood stove out on the back porch.”
They wandered around talking about the little trees for a while, and then got back on the horses and continued their ride.
Maybe it was because she hadn’t had time to get nervous about it, but Quinn felt super comfortable sharing her morning with the two of them. Once again, she was able to be completely at ease, and she didn’t second-guess herself every time she opened her mouth, the way she often did with new people.
At last, they reached the top of the hill, where the Fraser firs soaked in the sunshine.
“We’re up, up, up ,” Zandy sang out.
“This is the best part,” Quinn said, encouraging Dancer to pick her way all the way to the top of the hill before she turned around.
Beau followed her on Blitzen, and when he turned, Zandy’s eyes went wide.
“That’s a lot of trees,” she crowed.
She wasn’t wrong about that. The whole hillside melted down in front of them, a sea of green and white, glittering as the snow melted in the morning sunlight.
“Beautiful,” Beau sighed.
Quinn glanced over and smiled at him. Maybe she could help him feel more excited about running this farm after all.
But he wasn’t even looking at the acres of Christmas trees, he was just smiling at her with the kindest, happiest expression.
She felt happiness bubble over in her chest, even though this was nothing more than a peaceful adventure on a cold morning with a new friend.
* * *
An hour later, they were walking the horses up to the big house.
Quinn was honestly impressed that Zandy had enjoyed such a long ride. The little girl was filled with energy, though Quinn had a feeling she would probably be ready for a nice nap at her grandma’s house.
“Hello, Quinn,” Anne-Marie called out, waving to them from the front porch.
“Grandma,” Zandy yelled.
“Are you ready to make some pies?” Anne-Marie asked her.
“Yes, but we need apples first,” Zandy said.
“Oh, I suppose the horses have earned a treat,” Anne-Marie said, nodding. “Come on in and help me find some. That okay with you two?”
“Sure,” Beau said. “I wanted to bend Quinn’s ear for a minute anyway.”
“Okey-dokey,” Anne-Marie called back.
Beau hopped down, and Zandy slid into his arms, then ran up the porch stairs to her grandmother.
“Want to walk?” Beau asked, looking up at Quinn with an expression that almost looked nervous.
“Sure,” she said.
She hopped down and took Dancer’s reins, and the two of them headed over to the big maple on the side of the house with the horses.
Beau stopped when they reached the tree. Even though the branches were bare, it still felt like they were sheltered together with the big house to one side and the tree-dotted hill on the other.
Beau gazed down at her, a thoughtful expression on his face, like he was trying to decide something.
“What’s up?” she asked after a moment.
“Are you seeing anyone?” he asked.
The question was so unexpected that it took a moment to land. When it did, she felt a rush of warmth in her chest.
Is this it? Is this why I feel at home with him? Is it meant to be?
She opened her mouth to say she wasn’t, but suddenly felt too nervous to speak. So she shook her head instead, hoping he could see on her face that she wasn’t discouraging him.
“Great,” Beau said, smiling. “Then I have a business proposal for you.”
“A business proposal,” she echoed stupidly.
He nodded, the expression on his handsome face so serious that she knew right away he meant it.
“I know this sounds a little far-fetched, but just hear me out,” he said. “I was joking when I said last night that I wished we could get married. But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. If we did get married, we’d be able to put all our eggs in one basket, and we’d both be happy. Think about it. You’d be a Wilson, so we could put the farm in both our names, and you could just keep running it. Then with the money you were going to use on a farm, you could buy the repair shop in town for me, and we’d both be able to do what we want.”
She blinked up at him, still feeling a little stung, but trying to get her head around the idea.
“Don’t worry. Once everything is up and running and everyone feels good about things, we could separate, Quinn,” he went on gently, like he thought that was why she had clammed up. “You would keep the farm, of course, and I’d keep the shop. Everyone winds up with what they want.”
“The farm is worth a lot more than the shop,” she heard herself point out, as if she were really considering this deranged idea.
“Are you planning on selling it once it’s yours?” he asked.
She shook her head, horrified at the idea. If she ever had a farm like this she would never, ever let it go.
“And I’m not planning on selling the shop,” he told her. “So it doesn’t matter what they’re worth to someone else. They’re worth the same to us. One dream-come-true each. We’ll both be happy because we’ll be doing what we love and what we’re good at.”
That was a valid point. When she took her slightly hurt feelings out of the equation, what he was proposing made some kind of weird sense. And it was no one else’s business if they were really in love or not. Except…
“What about Zandy?” she asked.
“Obviously, you and I will stay friends,” Beau said firmly. “That’s a prerequisite since I know Zandy adores you. But since she’s so young, I’m not sure it matters to her whether we’re romantically involved. We’ll try to spend some time together on a regular basis afterward, if that’s okay with you. I mean, if this works out, neither of us is going anywhere, right? And if it’s not a real marriage then it won’t be a real divorce either—no one’s feelings will be hurt.”
Quinn nodded slowly, letting the idea sink in, though nothing about it felt right to her.
Dancer snuffled against her pocket and Quinn turned to scratch behind the mare’s ears, grateful for the excuse to break away from Beau’s eyes and let common sense come back into her mind.
“Will you at least think about it?” Beau asked after a moment.
“I’m not good at lying,” she said, turning back to him.
“You wouldn’t have to lie,” he told her. “We would actually get married.”
“I mean… without even dating?” she asked. “Won’t people think that’s a little weird?”
“Good point,” he said, smiling down at her. “Let’s go on a date.”
Quinn looked up into his twinkly blue eyes. In any other context, she would have been over the moon for him to ask her on a date. But maybe this was the best she was going to get.
I’m not the kind of person who would actually do something like this. Am I?
But the truth of the matter was that she was never going to have the opportunity to run a working farm again if she didn’t. She could be hired on someone else’s farm, sure. But if she was being totally honest, she knew there would never be another chance to imbue the whole life cycle of a farm with her own vision like she had here.
And Beau wanted so badly to be a mechanic. Running this place instead, when he could have owned that nice little shop in town would break his heart…
“You don’t have to decide now,” he told her. “Come out with me tomorrow night, and we can talk a little more.”
“Okay,” she heard herself say softly.
He smiled down at her with such warmth and gratitude that it made her heart flutter.
“ Hey, kids ,” Anne-Marie called from up on the porch.
There was something about the tone of her voice—like she was trying to figure out why Quinn and Beau were standing so close to each other, just out of earshot.
“And so it begins,” Beau murmured, winking at Quinn. “Hey, Ma. Here we come.”
He grabbed Quinn’s free hand in his and the two of them led the horses up toward the house where Zandy was waiting with a fist full of apple slices.
Quinn tried to ignore the rush of sensation from his warm hand wrapped around hers.
It’s just pretend. Don’t forget that it’s just pretend…