12. Quinn
12
QUINN
Q uinn was up with the sun on Thanksgiving morning. She stretched and looked out her windows to see the pine trees waving and dancing slightly in the morning breeze.
Even though today had all the elements of a situation that would normally scare her half to death, Quinn felt strangely at peace.
She and Beau had been out every day since that first date night. Of course, it was only to get people used to seeing them out together, but she actually found it super fun spending time with Beau—whether it was breakfast at the café, lunch at the diner, or taking Zandy to the library bake sale and bringing a sampling of desserts back to Anne-Marie for a sugary afternoon feast.
They might not be really dating, but somehow in that short time, she and Beau had become fast friends. And she thought it had a lot to do with how comfortable she felt whenever he was around.
Normally when she went out, Quinn felt an overwhelming sense of dread that she was going to be pulled into small talk and then embarrassingly clam up and make people think she was stupid or snobby or both.
But when she was with Beau, people gave them knowing smiles and left them mostly alone.
And when someone did come up to say hello, Beau took over right away, leaving room for Quinn to enter the conversation whenever she wanted, but taking the heat off of her.
If I ever got married for real, I’d want it to be to someone like Beau…
But that idea made her feel a little sad.
Their plan was to get married next month and separate on Thanksgiving, one year from now. She was going to have to keep that timeframe in the front of her mind today if she wanted to protect her foolish heart.
She climbed down from her loft bed quickly, as if she could escape the thought, then grabbed some clothes and headed into the shower, hoping to wash away her feelings and start fresh.
When she came out again, Quinn was feeling more like herself. She had plenty of time to go for a walk before she had to head over to her parents’ place to help with the sides they were bringing.
Anne-Marie had said to bring nothing but themselves. But Beau pulled her aside to tell her that his dad used to make the stuffing, potatoes, and homemade cranberry sauce every year. So, when Quinn mentioned to Anne-Marie that her mom loved making sides, Anne-Marie had lit up and said she would just give her a quick call to coordinate.
Mom had messaged Quinn a few times this week to say how much she loved Anne-Marie. Each message made Quinn feel warm all over, followed by an ice-water pang of guilt as she remembered that none of this was real.
But we’ll stay close , she reminded herself. Beau said it was a condition.
That was because of Zandy, and because of course Quinn would be running the farm that had been in Beau’s family for generations. And they had already agreed that they would subdivide the farm to carve off the big house and the one where Beau was living with Zandy so that the arrangement didn’t leave the Wilsons homeless.
We’ll stay friends because we’ll practically be living together.
It was reassuring knowing that even when it was over it wouldn’t really be over, at least not all the way.
She headed out of her cabin and down the path through the trees, thinking about when she had taken this walk with Beau and Zandy on horseback, what felt like a lifetime ago.
No matter what else about the situation was bothering her, Quinn always found peace walking the farm. Knowing that she would be stewarding these trees and this land for the rest of her life made her feel deeply at home, like her own legs had roots sunk deep in the Pennsylvania earth.
* * *
That afternoon, she and her parents carried hot dishes out of the car and up to Anne-Marie’s front door, where Zandy was already dancing around on the porch and waving.
“Hi, Captain Christmas Tree,” she yelled to Quinn.
“Hi, Zandy,” Quinn yelled back. “Do you have lots of room for Thanksgiving dinner?”
“Yes,” Zandy yelled. “And then you’ll play dress-up with me.”
“I sure will,” Quinn promised.
“Who is that ?” Zandy yelled, coming up short when she realized Quinn wasn’t alone.
“This is my mom and my dad,” Quinn told her. “Mr. and Mrs. Allen.”
“Gert and Howard,” Mom said with a smile. “Happy Thanksgiving, Zandy.”
Zandy grinned at them but didn’t say a word.
“Welcome,” Anne-Marie called out from the doorway.
Beau jogged down the stairs to greet them too, taking the big casserole dish of stuffing from Mom.
“I’ve got that for you,” he told her with a smile. “Thanks so much for coming.”
“Oh, thank you, Beau,” Mom said. “And we’re very happy to be here.”
There was a hustle-bustle as they all came inside, took off their boots and coats, and set down pans and side dishes.
“It smells incredible in here,” Quinn said.
“Beau and I tried brining the turkey,” Anne-Marie said. “I think it turned out very nicely, but I guess we’ll find out.”
“Howard brined our turkey last year,” Mom said excitedly.
The three of them wandered off to the kitchen talking about the merits of brining a Thanksgiving bird, and Zandy followed them, clearly more interested in what was in the dishes.
“Big day,” Beau said quietly to Quinn.
The two of them walked over to the front windows of the living room.
Beau was as handsome as usual in jeans and a flannel in warm autumn colors. His hair was slightly damp as if he’d just gotten out of the shower and he smelled amazing—like Christmas trees and the spicy scent Quinn knew for sure now was his aftershave.
“Are you nervous?” he asked her after a moment.
She felt her cheeks heat. She’d been so busy drinking him in like a schoolgirl with a silly crush, that she had forgotten to say a word.
“No,” she told him, shaking her head. “I’m ready.”
“Don’t chicken out on me now,” he said. “This is the big leagues.”
She glanced up at him, but she could tell by the twinkle in his blue eyes that he was only teasing her.
“Are you sure about this?” she couldn’t help asking suddenly.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“I mean, are you sure you’re ready to give up this farm?” she asked.
It wasn’t actually what had been on her mind, not really. But it was the closest thing she could think of.
“Of course,” he told her. “You okay spending your savings on this?”
“Don’t you want to be able to… you know, date someone?” Quinn asked, feeling super awkward as soon as the words were out of her mouth.
Beau pulled back a little as if she had slapped him.
“You said you weren’t seeing anyone,” he said after a second.
“I’m not,” she told him emphatically.
“Then it’s fine, right?” he said crisply. “One year from today we’ll be separating, and you’ll be free to date whoever you want.”
“But what about you?” she asked, forcing herself to hold eye contact. “I’m asking about you.”
He sighed and nodded, his shoulders going down a little, like he finally understood what she was saying.
“Listen,” he said softly. “I fell in love once and messed it up so badly that we were both just lucky we could get out of it quickly and move on. You have nothing to worry about, Quinn. I won’t embarrass you. As far as this town knows, I’ll be the most devoted husband a woman could want. I won’t fall in love again.”
“Never?” she heard herself ask.
“I’m focusing on Zandy now,” he said, nodding. “She’s all that matters to me.”
Quinn’s heart ached at his raw confession. She couldn’t imagine someone as kind, fun-loving, and caring as Beau never falling in love again. But if their plan truly wasn’t going to stop him from finding the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, then there was nothing left to debate, right?
“ Hey, kids, get in here ,” Anne-Marie yelled happily from the kitchen.
“ Daddy ,” Zandy called out, scrambling out to find them. “ Quinn .”
Quinn’s stomach twisted at the idea that they were about to cross the point of no return.
But everyone was chatting and laughing now, sampling the sides as they spooned them into Anne-Marie’s pretty serving dishes.
All she had to do was go with the flow.
How hard could it be, really?