Chapter 25 Kit
Kit
Once Penny was off, I found my focus too scattered to do much of anything.
Between the crackle of residual excitement from finally setting Tessa straight, and the lingering heat of the handful of kisses Penny and I shared in the shadowy corner of the shop, I was only good for raking out the coals to close down early.
It had felt good to admit out loud that I fancied someone, even if I didn’t reveal who it was. Though I’d gone further than that. I hadn’t intended to talk about marriage, but when Tessa brought it up, I’d spoken without thinking, and surprised myself by realizing I meant it.
Before Penny, I’d never given thought to courting or weddings or husbands or wives.
My life didn’t feel conducive to those sorts of relationships.
I was too closed off, too afraid to let anyone in long enough to really get to know me.
I didn’t think anyone who did would have the desire to stay until I saw the joy on Penny’s face when I informed Tessa that she wasn’t the one I wanted.
Like he finally believed it, and it was news he’d been waiting his whole life to get.
I was trying to be clearer with my affections, too.
It was a struggle to work through the overwhelming swell of emotions and sensations every time we got close, but it was getting easier the more often I initiated the contact myself.
By now, my hands knew the contours of Penny's chest and back better than they knew my own.
I craved the feel of him pressed flush against me while we breathed the same air.
The soft skin of his neck beneath my lips, the roll of his hips against mine…
This was not the place to be thinking about such things, so I smothered that spark of desire before it could become something more.
No one had ever stirred such things in me, but sometimes, Penny could do it with a look or a smile.
I yanked the apron over my head and hung it on its hook before stepping out into the cold of the square, where a gust of wind cooled the burn in my cheeks.
I was about to start for home when I noticed Rosie’s mother at the bakery stand across the square. I’d seen Rosie manning the stall the morning after her ill-fated visit to our house, but she’d made herself scarce since.
As much as I loved spending time with Penny one on one, I worried he would eventually get bored of me.
I enjoyed our quiet evenings and didn’t have much desire to do more than relax after working at the forge all day.
For now, he was content to sit with me and draw, but he was running short of pages in his sketchbook, and I was sure a day would come when he needed the sort of boisterous company that reminded him of Sayla. That reminded him of home.
I wasn’t sure it was my place to step in, but I made my way to the stand of cakes and pastries before I could talk myself out of it.
“Afternoon, Missus Saunders,” I said.
The stout older woman smiled. “Afternoon, Kit.”
“I haven’t seen Rosie today. Is she around?”
She shook her head. “I'm afraid she’s home again.”
I had my suspicions as to why, but another worry lingered in the back of my mind, persistent enough for me to inquire.
“Penny mentioned something about her and Tessa passing through a town with plague during their second Oath. She’s not sick, is she?”
“Goodness, no.” She pressed her hand against her chest. “Thank the gods it’s not that.
No, I think something happened, but she won’t tell me what.
I suspect she’s had a tiff with Tessa. That girl’s more trouble than she’s worth sometimes, but Rosie’s grown enough to decide her friends on her own, so I stay out of it. ”
Though I agreed with her assessment of Tessa, I couldn’t blame the pest of a woman for Rosie’s poor mood.
She’d had a few days to cool off but was still keeping her distance.
My meddling could just as easily make things worse as better, but I wanted a chance to say what I hadn’t gotten the chance to that night.
I glanced across the square to the lane that led to their house. “Do you think she’d mind if I stopped by to say hello?”
She reached out to pat my arm and smiled up at me again. “That should be fine.”
With a nod, I set off. I spent the short walk organizing my thoughts, and when I stepped onto the front stoop, I smoothed my damp palms down my sides before knocking.
A moment later, the door cracked open and Rosie peeked out. When she saw me, she sighed and started to swing the door shut.
“Not today, Kit.”
The latch clicked, but I didn’t leave. I leaned against the frame and spoke close enough to the door to be heard on the other side.
“Penny didn’t mean any harm, you know. He cares about you deeply, just not in the way you want him to.”
The hinges creaked as the door opened inward again. Rosie stood aside and swung her arm toward the living room. “Come inside. I don’t need the whole town to know my business.”
“Thank you.”
I stepped in, and she closed the door behind me, plunging us into the murky half-light of the fire in the hearth and a line of candles along the mantel.
Tiny claws skittered across the floor as several kittens raced around the coffee table and clambered up to bowl each other across the couch cushions.
“Sit,” Rosie said, throwing open the curtains to let in the bright afternoon sunshine. “I’ll make some tea.”
I did as I was told and settled carefully on the couch to ensure I didn’t squish the wrestling kittens.
Two ginger tabbies and a pudgy little calico raced across the back cushions and tumbled off the far side in a hissing, spitting tangle, while another orange puffball stalked a bit of fluff on the floor.
Before long, the familiar black kitten emerged from beneath the couch and scaled my pant leg to hunker down in my lap. All it took was a scratch under the chin to get her purring her little heart out.
Rosie returned from the kitchen and set a tray of tea and scones on the coffee table. She handed me a cup and settled on the opposite side of the couch with her own.
She was quiet for a long moment before she spoke without looking up from her tea. “I’m not mad at Penny. Or you. I just feel foolish.”
“You’re not foolish, he’s an easy person to like.”
The barest hint of a smile crossed her lips. “You would know.” She offered over the plate of scones and what felt like a deliberate topic change. “They’re lemon and basil. You should try one.”
“Thank you. They look delicious.”
We sipped tea and picked at our scones for what felt like hours. I was hesitant to broach the subject of Penny again, but when Rosie finally spoke, she picked back up where we’d left off.
“I should have realized sooner. He was always so defensive of you with Tessa, and you’re all he talks about otherwise.” She rolled her eyes in my direction. “So much sometimes I wish he would stop.”
My cheeks burned at the thought of Penny talking this poor girl’s ear off about me. “I’m surprised there was so much to tell.” I was a little afraid of what he might have let slip, but I trusted Rosie not to pass any of it on to anyone else.
“I would have said I thought I knew everything there was to know about you before this,” she continued, “but clearly I didn’t.”
It was my turn to stare down into my teacup, and I swirled the dregs around in the bottom of it.
“You’re important to him. It may not be what you want to hear, but he thinks of you like a sister.
” I lifted my eyes to hers. “And if you had any idea how much he loves his sister, you’d be flattered by that. ”
Her smile was a little less sad this time. “He talks about her a lot, too.”
“He misses her terribly. He misses home.” I set my cup aside and scrubbed my fingers through the black kitten’s soft belly fur. “Without you, he’d be lonely. I’m not always the kind of company he needs, and I would hate to see him lose you.”
She sighed and took a sip of her tea. “He hasn’t lost me.
I just… I had plans. I had hopes, and it’s hard to put them away.
I still want him to be a part of my life, but I need to get used to the fact that it’s going to be a different part than I imagined.
” She blinked hard as tears welled in her eyes.
“I told him he’s not like anyone else here, and I meant it.
It’s hard to imagine finding anyone else like that. ”
I knew that feeling too well. I’d never met anyone like Penny, and he’d so thoroughly wormed his way under my defenses that it felt like he’d always belonged there.
He made me believe in things I didn’t know I could.
He loved me, said he would forever, and I thought that someday, I might love him too.
There wasn’t a single other person I knew who could make me feel the way he did.
Rosie tipped back the last of her tea, and for a long moment, just stared at me.
“But you know how that feels,” she said softly, “don’t you?” She looked on the verge of tears.
“We don’t have to talk about that,” I said, equally soft. “I don’t want to cause you any more pain than I already have.”
She rubbed her hands over her eyes. With a deep breath, she squared her shoulders, pushed her braids back from her face, and let her gaze drop to where the tiny kitten was curled around my hand in my lap.
It was the first genuine smile I’d seen from her in days.
“She’s clearly chosen you. She spends most of her time under the couch hiding from us.” She reached over to tap the kitten’s nose. “We’ll be looking for homes for them in a week or so.”
I hadn’t had a pet in decades, but the idea of a couple of cats cuddled up between Penny and me was appealing. They could earn their keep as mousers, at least, and keep our pantry pest free. A little extra warmth on winter nights would be nice, too.
“I could take one,” I said. “Or two. I’m sure Penny’s got a favorite among them.”