Chapter 5
The next day, Zyah came by and helped me eat the delicious leftovers from Heirloom Soul. After we stuffed ourselves on ox tails and gumbo, she did my shot for me, then we headed out for the game. The Bison were playing the Richmond Rebels.
When we got to the stadium, Zyah led us in through a private entrance and waved at the security guard who opened the door for us.
After doing Christian’s social media for more than eight years, everybody knew who Zyah was.
She was at every home game getting images and commentary to post on his professional pages.
I wasn’t a regular at the games. My position didn’t require me to attend, so most of the time, I didn’t.
But now that I had a commitment to have a baby with Brixton, I wanted to get back in the habit, because I knew I would be bringing our son or daughter to the games.
Zyah and I took our seats in the family section.
“You doing all right, Ry?”
I looked over at my younger sister. “I’m doing good. Today is my second day on the hormones, so I’m not feeling any different.”
“You nervous?”
I sighed with relief. “I have a lot of nerves, Zy. I’m nervous about how all these hormones are gonna affect me. I’m nervous about how many eggs they’re gonna retrieve. I’m nervous about whether or not I’m gonna get pregnant.”
“What’s your day looking like tomorrow?”
“The usual.” Now that the pre-season had started, my days were pretty routine. “Chris doesn’t have any interviews or photoshoots lined up. So, I’ll be at their house making sure everything runs smoothly over there.”
“What time can you leave? I’m booking us a massage. All of this stress isn’t good for you.”
“Ugh, you sound like Brix.” I mimicked him with, “You need to stay off your feet, Ry. You need to pamper yourself during this time, Ry.”
Zyah giggled. “He’s right, though. You do need to pamper yourself.
Aww. It’s good that he cares. Listen, I don’t care what anybody else thinks or says, I think you made an excellent choice in a baby’s daddy.
Christian’s talking his shit, but he doesn’t see Brix the way women see Brix.
Your baby is about to be gorgeous. Brix is finer than a motherfucker. ”
I had to laugh. “It’s funny because it’s true. Brix is handsome as hell.”
“And rich. And kindhearted. And loyal. And easy going. And—”
“Yes. Yes. He’s all the things.”
She turned her nose up at me. “Thought you said those hormones weren’t affecting you yet. What’s with the attitude?”
“I don’t wanna be reminded of all of Brix’s good qualities. The plan is not to fall for this man. This is a platonic endeavor.”
“I don’t know, big sis. You all are gonna be spending a lot of time together. You’re gonna be sharing and opening up to one another. I heard that pregnancy makes you horny. Don’t beat yourself up too bad if you find yourself busting it wide open for his gorgeous ass.”
“Stop planting seeds. That’s not happening. That can’t happen.”
She laughed.
“Close your mouth.”
By the time I made it home from the game, my phone was pinging with a text message.
Solid Brix:
What’s up? Were you able to get the shot done today?
Me:
Hey. Yeah. My sister came through to take me to the game. She gave me the shot and she helped me eat the leftovers from Heirloom Soul. When can we go there again?
Solid Brix:
Whenever you want, lil mama.
Me:
Good.
Solid Brix:
It was cool seeing you at the game. What made you come through?
Me:
Practicing for when Baby Upton-Cole arrives. Felt pretty sure that you’ll want your child at the games.
Solid Brix:
When they’re old enough, I definitely want that. Keep coming through. I like seeing you in the stands. If you ever need tickets, let me know. I’m adding you to my list in the morning.
He couldn’t see my blush through the phone.
Me:
Okay.
Solid Brix:
We’re traveling tomorrow, but I’m sure you already know. You think Zyah’ll come through and do your shot for you again?
Me:
If not, I’ll get it done.
Solid Brix:
I wish we would’ve started this during the off season, so I could be there to do it every day.
Me:
Me, too. But everything will fall into place.
Solid Brix:
It’s been a long day. You should get some sleep. I’ll call you tomorrow once we get settled in St. Louis. I’ll check on you.
Me:
Okay. Talk to you then.
Solid Brix:
Sleep tight, Rowdy Ry.
I smiled at him calling me that before putting my phone down and heading toward the shower.
Brixton picked me up early on the day of the egg retrieval because our appointment was at seven in the morning.
We were both equal parts anxious and hopeful.
We arrived, and the staff got me set up in the triage area.
Brixton stayed right by my side, laughing, teasing and joking with me while they hooked up the IV.
Soon enough, it was time for him to do his part.
I hated that he had to go produce his “sample” in a cup.
Then I thought about my ex and how often he jacked-off and I figured that it wasn’t that big of a thing.
The actual procedure wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. The reproductive endocrinologist, who had been recommended to me by Genesis and Christian, favored 1990s hip hop while she worked. I dozed off to the sounds of Nas’s Nastradamus.
Dr. Montgomery gave me a bright smile when I awoke after the procedure. “Looks good,” she told me. “Looks real good. We got nineteen eggs.”
Once I was dressed, Brixton drove me to my house. He fed me the jerk salmon that Genesis made, along with a baked potato and a side salad.
“I’m so sleepy,” I told him once I was done with my food.
“Go lay down. I’mma hang around. Chill out for a minute. Make sure everything is all right. Cool?”
“That’s fine,” I confirmed.
“Nineteen eggs, lil mama.” He came around the table and placed a kiss on my temple. “You did good as hell.”
“Thank you.”
“You deserve to rest. Go lay down.”
The next day, we got an update on how our eggs were doing. Of the nineteen retrieved, fourteen were fertilized. After five days, we went back in for the transfer.
The nurses at Dr. Montgomery’s office told us that we could transfer as many as five eggs back into my womb. That sounded like a lot. That was how many Genesis said she and Christian chose to transfer and they ended up with twins. Brixton was a twin, so our chances for twins were already higher.
Brixton let me make the decision. I decided to transfer five and freeze the remaining nine for a later date.
Two weeks later, I was scheduled to return to my doctor’s office for a pregnancy test. I would’ve preferred that Brixton take me to the appointment, but they had a game that night. He was out of town, so Zyah and Genesis picked me up from home and went to the appointment with me.
“Do you feel pregnant?” Zyah asked as we piled into her truck.
“I don’t know. I definitely feel nervous, though,” I admitted.
“I know,” Genesis said. “It’s stressful as hell.”
“I’m thinking about doing some… cursory fertility assessments,” Zyah told us.
“I mean, I’m not trying to jinx myself or anything, but it’s been hard as hell watching both of my sisters struggle with their fertility.
It’s something you never consider until you want to use it, then to not have it there… ”
Genesis picked up where Zyah trailed off.
“Yeah. I was so worried about Christian getting me pregnant that it never occurred to me that he wouldn’t be able to get me pregnant.
That’s an unexplainable heartbreak. I think it’s smart for you to check things out before you and Amari get your hearts set on having a baby. ”
“Yeah.”
I didn’t join in the conversation. I couldn’t. I couldn’t trust that my voice wouldn’t crack, or that my heart wouldn’t break. I wanted the procedure to be successful, but there was always the chance that it wouldn’t be. I took a deep breath, said a quick prayer, and hoped for the best.
After the blood draw, my sisters and I went out to lunch. As soon as I stepped into my house, my cell phone rang.
“Hello.”
“Hey, Ryann. This is Nurse Felicia from Dr. Montgomery’s office. I have the results of your pregnancy test.”
My stomach hit the floor, and I sent up a silent prayer. “Okay.”
“Honey, I’m so sorry, but your test was negative.”
It seemed like as soon as she said that, I felt the tell-tale sign of menstrual cramps.
I was getting my period.
I wasn’t pregnant.
I was getting my period.