Chapter 12
TWELVE
ZOE
Three months later
I’m so bored.
Work has all but dried up, and I spend my days surfing the Internet and looking for something to spark a new idea.
At the same time, morning sickness has lingered, although it doesn’t bother me every day.
And I have a bump.
It popped out about a month ago, and has only grown.
Next week we have a scan to make sure everything’s in the right place. Hearing the heartbeat made the pregnancy real—seeing the baby together will be on a whole other level.
I’ve also taken to stalking Declan.
Hormones swirling in my system have made me lust after him something chronic, although seeing him every morning in that low-slung pair of pyjama pants hasn’t helped. It’s like the man is almost allergic to clothing when he gets out of bed.
My vibrator has never been busier.
And I’ve never been so glad that this apartment has sturdy walls that keep the sound in.
For his part, he’s been just as charming and courteous as he was when he first moved in. He begrudgingly lets me cook when I really want to, but most nights he’s the chef and he won’t ever let me wash the dishes. I’m kind of impressed he’s lasted this long, but he’s showing no signs of being unhappy.
In fact he seems to enjoy being here more and more as my body changes and I’m now visibly pregnant.
I open my Declan stalking tab. He’s in the shower and distracted, and I usually google him once a day to see what the news is saying about him.
No news is good news—there’s not been any Declan updates in months, with the last one being his kiss with a ‘mystery brunette’ outside the Bellagio (spoiler alert—it was me!).
We might not be so lucky next time. Not that there are any plans for a repeat kiss.
I sigh and click through the pages. Usually I stop at the first couple because Declan shows up and interrupts me, but this time I keep going until something catches my eye, and I freeze.
Declan has a sex tape.
I thought I knew everything about him, but how did I miss something like that?
It takes some digging through fake links to find the real thing—no wonder I haven’t seen it. I didn’t go much further than a basic search.
My eyes widen as I find the right link and click on it, Declan coming into focus right at the start. It’s clear he doesn’t know he’s being filmed as he strips—not once even glancing in the direction of the camera.
I shouldn’t be doing this. If he was filmed in secret, the person doing the filming didn’t have consent, but I can’t take my eyes off him.
My memories of our night together aren’t the clearest.
We’d both been drinking, and I remember the sex being really, really good, but not much of the detail.
His cock is huge.
That? That was inside me?
The woman he’s with smiles, and next thing she’s sucking on it like there’s no tomorrow. It’s almost hypnotic. Up and down she goes.
You can’t see Declan’s face at this point, but he’s definitely making sex noises.
I’m not paying any attention when my phone rings beside me. And I’m paying even less when Caitlin starts talking, I’m so mesmerised by what’s on the screen.
“What are you doing?” she asks.
A loud groan comes from the laptop. I frantically press buttons on the keyboard.
“Are you watching porn?” She laughs. “I know it’s been a while with being pregnant and all, but …”
“Declan has a sex tape on the Internet,” I whisper.
“He what ?” She screeches. “And you’re watching it?”
“I have to. It’s the law or something. ”
“Oh my god.” In the background I hear her tapping away.
“Wait. Are you looking it up? I don’t know how I feel about this.”
Caitlin chuckles. “There’s no way I’m missing it.”
I wriggle in my seat. This video’s been viewed millions of times, but I’m not sure I’m comfortable with my best friend watching it. If I didn’t know Declan, sure, but he’s living in my home and everything’s pointing to him being in my life for a long time to come.
“What are you doing?”
I jump and slam the laptop shut before fumbling with my phone and disconnecting Caitlin. “Just messing around on the Internet.”
Declan twists my chair around until I’m facing him. “Uh-huh. Looking at my dick.”
“I … I …” My cheeks burn.
His smirk just makes me mad. “It’s okay, babe. I’ve got no issue with you checking out your property.”
My eyes widen and he chuckles.
“As hot as that video is, I prefer the memory of your lips wrapped around it.”
I lick my lips, desperate to get rid of that dry-mouth feeling that’s just appeared.
“Jesus, Zoe. You have no idea how hot you are.”
“I’ve got a confession to make,” I whisper.
His eyebrows rise, and I swallow hard before continuing. “I … I can’t remember everything about that night.”
Declan frowns. “You weren’t that drunk.”
“I think I was more drunk than I’d thought. I remember helping Caitlin back to her room, and I remember going to yours, but …” I chew my bottom lip. “It’s the rest that’s a bit blurry. I mean, I haven’t forgotten everything, but there are gaps.”
His chests rises and falls like he’s been running. “Maybe I’ll just have to remind you.”
I swear to God my core pulses. My brain might be fuzzy, but my body definitely remembers him.
What I need to do is change the subject.
“Where did that tape come from?” I ask.
He blows out a long breath. “Do you really want to know about my murky past?”
I gaze into his blue eyes. “It’s important. For the sake of the baby.”
Declan snorts. “Really?”
“No. I’m just nosey.” I laugh, and he grins, shaking his head.
“My first marriage breakup came as a huge surprise. She’d become convinced I was cheating on her.”
“And you weren’t?”
He shakes his head. “I was young and new to Hollywood. She didn’t like being photographed in public, so she stayed home while I went to every event I could. Networking is such a big part of this scene. We met in Los Angeles. She knew who I was and what I wanted from my career when I started, but the bigger the role, the more she withdrew.”
“Is it her in the video?”
He taps me on the nose. “Patience, grasshopper. I told you that I’d tell you everything about my life. No, it’s not her.”
I bite my bottom lip. I’m impatient—I know, but being so close to him when he smells so good is driving me crazy. I’ve read that pregnancy can make you horny, but when the father of your baby who’s been so attentive is right next to you? I’d jump his bones in a heartbeat.
Not that I can tell him that.
“Anyway, things didn’t last. We were both young and stubborn. I didn’t want to miss any chance of furthering my career. She hated the lifestyle. When she left me, that was my first real walk on the wild side. I partied, I had a lot of sex, and I got so caught up in it that when a woman I’d fucked and ghosted released a video of us, I barely even cared.”
I gape. I’m not stupid—I knew he had a reputation, but this? I’m not sure what to make of it.
“That was the first time I went to rehab. I got my shit together for a while, and I got a restraining order to stop her from sharing it, but by then it was all over the Internet.”
“That’s revenge porn.”
He nods. “It is. Back then, there weren’t really any laws against it like that. I did all I could to stop it. But it’s been a long time since it was released, and I ended up doing far more damage to my career than that video ever did.”
The mood has definitely cooled in this room. It’s clear Declan’s a man with many regrets. I just hope our baby and I don’t get added to that list.
“You know, Zoe, if you ever want a re-run of that night—I’m right here.” His deep voice rumbles and it’s like a signal to my very hungry vagina.
I want him. Oh God, how I want him. Is it a good idea? Probably not, but I don’t care anymore.
Declan O’Leary is my baby daddy, and I want him inside me again.