Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
DECLAN
Pregnancy is a roller coaster. And I say that even though I’m not the one who’s pregnant.
As time goes on, Zoe gets more emotional.
Her hormones seem so up and down, and I’m just along for the ride.
We’ve got our trip to LA planned, and I’m hoping that will put a smile on her face. The morning sickness mostly went away but still rears its ugly head from time to time, yet she tries to brave it out.
It makes me want to be with her even more.
I do whatever I can to make her life easier.
I’m standing in the bathroom, running her a bath, when footsteps fall behind me.
I turn. She’s behind me in a big pale blue fluffy robe, and I shoot her a smirk. “Come and get in this bath, babe. The water’s fine.”
Her weepy eyes are full of some unidentifiable emotion. “ Thank you.”
Zoe’s a weepy, emotional mess and I’ve never felt so protective of anyone in my life. Her belly’s swollen with my baby, and more than ever, I want more with her.
She’s mine.
She flicks her gaze between me and the tub.
“Want me to join you?”
Her nose twitches and she nods before bursting into tears again.
“Oh, baby, you are really not having a good day, are you?” I wrap my arms around her and hold her while she cries on my shoulder.
“I’m just so tired,” she whispers.
“I can’t wait until they’re here.” I press a kiss to Zoe’s temple. “Let me help you undress.” I tug off my T-shirt and drop my jeans to the floor.
Her lips twitch. “When you were attending all those fancy movie premieres, I bet you never thought you’d one day be standing in a bathroom half-naked and pampering a pregnant crying woman.”
Chuckling, I pull at her robe’s belt. “A very beautiful pregnant woman who’s having my baby.” I roll her robe off her shoulders. She’s wearing a tank top and panties underneath, and her curvy body’s enough to make me salivate.
I drop my boxer shorts to the ground, and her gaze drops with them before flicking back up my body. “I’m all yours, Zoe. If you’ll have me.”
She sniffs. “It’s hard to focus while you’re standing there naked.”
I grin. “It’s my big dick, isn’t it? ”
Her nose wrinkles, and she dissolves into laughter. It does my heart good to hear her after all the tears. “That is one of the things I like about you.”
I climb into the bathtub and hold out my hand. “Care to join me?”
Zoe blushes, unclasping her bra and letting it fall to the floor. After slipping out of her panties, she reaches for my hand and steps into the tub.
“We need to go to LA for this premiere, and so I can show you my house. My tub’s a lot bigger than this one.”
Her eyes flash with amusement. “Why would we need a bigger tub?”
“Because there’s no room to fuck in here.”
Her eyebrows rise, but she says nothing.
I sit in the bathtub and she turns around and rests between my legs, leaning back against my torso.
“I’m sorry I’m such a mess,” she says, leaning her head back on my shoulder.
I kiss her temple. “You’re not. Your body is adapting to this massive change.”
“It’ll keep changing until you don’t want me anymore.”
I run the loofah over her belly. “I love your body no matter what. You have no idea what it means to me to see you like this. You’re beautiful.”
“And then giving birth will be messy and?—”
“And another beautiful thing where we get our baby in the end, and you and I can work out what we’re doing next.”
She laughs softly. “You’re not going to let me be negative at all, are you? ”
“There’s nothing to be negative about. I’m not sure I’ve ever been so content. You’re what’s been missing in my life.”
Zoe raises her hand and lays it on mine. “How do you always know the right things to say?”
“Because this is meant to be. This pregnancy. Us. I’m not sure I ever believed in fate, but I do now because we were supposed to meet, you and I.”
She hums her agreement. “I like the way you think.”
We sit in the quiet of the bathroom as I gently wash her. Her head flops against my shoulder.
“I think it must be time to get out,” I murmur.
“No,” she moans.
“You’re falling asleep. I’m going to tuck you into bed.”
“Only if you join me.”
“You know I will.”
By the time we get out of the tub, dry off, and get dressed, she’s yawning. A good night’s sleep is what she needs.
I guide her to the bed, and she sits on the end.
“I love you,” I say.
Her breath hitches, and her eyes fill with tears. The way things have been lately, I’m not sure if it’s due to hormones or my declaration or a combination of both.
“I’m not perfect. I’ve got two failed marriages behind me and a sex tape floating around the Internet. I’m an alcoholic. I’m the last man you could ever really want to be your baby daddy.” I take a breath. “But I’m yours, Zoe. I think I was from the moment we met, and I just didn’t know it.”
This is the least romantic way to tell her, but I can’t pretend my past doesn’t exist. It’s not pretty .
“I don’t need you to be perfect,” she whispers. “But I need you to keep yourself together for us.”
I nod. “I will. The last time I had a drink was the night we were first together, and I’ll get help. The rest I can’t change, but I can be a better man going forward. I just want you and our baby. We can live anywhere you want, and I’ll do whatever it takes. I love you.”
She blinks rapidly, but tears roll down her cheeks. “I love you too. You haven’t missed a step since you’ve been here.”
I gather her into my arms and kiss her tears away. “All I need is you two. I never knew what I was missing out on until now. I don’t need Hollywood. I don’t need the career pressure.”
“Are you sure? I want to keep working for myself after the baby’s born. I love it. But I did worry about how I’d balance everything.” She sniffs.
“Whatever you want, babe. I’ll stay home and change diapers and be a dad.” I suck in a breath. “Holy shit. I’m going to be a dad.”
Zoe laughs, and it’s music to my ears. “Yes, yes you are.” She wraps her arms around my waist and rests her head on my shoulder.
“You two are my reason for going on. You know that, right? You make being sober easy.” I plant a kiss on the top of her head. “You came along right when I needed you.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Meant to be, remember?”
She smiles. “Maybe you’re right.”
“I know I am.”