Chapter 26
TWENTY-SIX
ZOE
Declan is as good as his word.
One call to Josh and the cavalry arrives.
Delaney is on my doorstep the next morning. She’d dropped one child to Lana’s and the other was in school, so she is all mine for the day—or for however long I need her.
All I do is cry all over again.
I have a village.
Delaney, Pania, and Lana, spend the next few weeks swooping in and out and taking the pressure off me. Most times, it’s just nice being able to sit and talk. Other times, they take care of Daisy while I get some sleep.
My confidence as a first-time mother grows as I get the help I need. At times I feel so useless, but Delaney tells me the story of how her mother kicked her out when she found out she was pregnant with Amelia, and how Pania and her mother stepped in to help .
“I couldn’t have done it without my village,” she says. And I have to agree with her. I could fly my parents over, but I’m also wary since mine and Declan’s relationship is still fairly new, and living with my parents might not be the greatest idea. Besides, they both work and have responsibilities of their own. We’ve already planned to go and see them once Declan’s movie shoot is over.
Declan has invited us down to the set today for lunch. I get the feeling he’s as keen to show his daughter off as he is for me to see his workplace.
I drive in the gate and pull in where the security guard shows me. Declan walks toward the car, opens the boot, and pulls out the pram while I get Daisy out of her car seat.
“I’m so glad you’re here. Josh is somewhere around today, and we just broke for lunch. Your timing is perfect.”
I peck him on the lips, and he takes Daisy from my arms and lowers her into the pram. “I’m excited to look around. I’ve never been on a movie set before.”
“It’s not that exciting. But I can show you my trailer.” His eyebrows waggle, and I laugh. This is the Declan I love—so relaxed and flirty with me. I’m glad he’s working again if this is what he’s like when he does.
We make our way toward a tented area where people are sitting at tables.
“The food trucks are just over here. It won’t be anything too fancy, but there’s a good selection of food. We’ll eat and then I’ll show you around.”
“Declan? I was hoping we could run lines?”
I swallow hard. I swear the woman coming towards us is making heart eyes at my partner. My jealousy isn’t helped by the fact that she’s gorgeous. Blonde shoulder-length curls surround a heart-shaped face with big blue eyes and rosebud red lips. This is his co-star?
In the haze of dealing with my newborn, I’d heard her name but never looked her up.
“Not today, Hadley,” he replies, his voice smooth as silk.
“Oh?” She pouts. God, she even looks good when she does that. Is this what he’s had in front of him daily for the past two weeks?
I push my feelings of inadequacy down, but Declan seems to pick up that something’s wrong as he wraps his arm around my shoulders.
“My girls are here to spend some time with me.”
Hadley’s eyes flick to me, and it’s like she barely registers my existence before they shift back to Declan. “So, you’ll be around later?”
I exchange a glance with Declan. What the hell?
He shrugs. “Probably not. I’m meeting with the director this afternoon and then I’ll be going home.”
I’ve never felt so plain. Here’s this beautiful woman, dressed to the nines, making a play for my man right in front of me. I’m wearing no makeup and stuffed into jeans that only just fit after giving birth two months ago.
I will not cry.
He’s not giving her an inch, but this still hits me in ways I know it shouldn’t. Where’s my fight?
“Really? Please, Declan?” Hadley reaches out, placing her hand on his forearm .
Found it.
I draw in a deep breath. Declan shakes her hand off. “Yes. Really. You need to find someone else to run lines with. I’ve got better things to do.”
He squeezes my arm and plants a kiss on my temple, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
“Oh, thank God. I thought I’d become invisible,” I say.
She shifts her gaze to me. “Oh, are you Declan’s girlfriend?” The way she says it, it’s like she’s spitting razor blades.
“Yes, I am. And you are?”
Her lips tremble—I’ve clearly hit a nerve. Am I supposed to know who she is?
“Zoe, this is Hadley. She’s in the movie.”
Not ‘ my co-star .’ Not anything more important than ‘She’s in the movie . ’ I think this is Declan’s way of putting her in her place.
“Now, if you’ll excuse us, I’m taking my gorgeous girlfriend to lunch.” He slides his hand into mine. “Have a good day, Hadley.”
He takes over pushing the pram until we reach an empty picnic table, and Declan indicates I should sit.
“What’s up with her?”
He shrugs. “She’s new. This is her first big movie. I’m sure she’s heard stories, but half the stuff out there about me isn’t true. I might have had a few drinks while on set, but I never screwed the crew—or my co-stars.”
My heart leaps. “She’s gorgeous. She doesn’t need to?—”
“No, she doesn’t. But either way, I’m not interested.” He takes my hand in his and runs his thumb across my knuckle. “Not when I have perfection at home.”
My cheeks burn. We haven’t had sex since Daisy’s birth, and Declan has been nothing but patient. I just haven’t felt comfortable in my own body.
“Anyway, are you hungry? I’ll stay here with Daisy if you want to go and have a look and grab something. Then I’ll go.”
I nod. “Sounds good.”
After making my way to the food trucks, I walk along, looking at the choices until I come to the lasagna. My mouth waters at the thought of pasta and cheese.
“Oh, that’s way too many carbs for me.” Hadley’s right behind me and I bristle.
“Breastfeeding burns through so many calories.” I smile.
She gives me a sharp nod.
Yeah, I’ve got a connection to Declan that no one else will ever have.
I take my plate and make my way back to our table, making sure to place a kiss on Declan’s lips when I sit down.
“Go get some food. Don’t eat too many carbs. Hadley doesn’t approve.”
His eyebrows nearly take off into orbit. “What?”
“It’s okay. The way Daisy eats, I’ll have burned this off by afternoon tea.”
He chuckles and places a kiss on my temple as I raise my fork to take my first bite. “Love you.”
“You too.” I moan when I slide that first mouthful in. His eyes are on my lips as I chew and swallow. “God, that is to die for. ”
“Maybe I should invite you to lunch every day. I could just watch you eat.”
I laugh and slap his arm softly. “Go and get your food.”
He returns with his own plate of lasagna, and I look up to see Hadley watching us. It’s sad. If that’s the way she thinks she’s going to get ahead, she’s sorely mistaken.
Dark thoughts swirl in my head about Declan being tempted, but then I watch him and he only has eyes for our daughter, and then he turns them on me.
“Have you had a good day?” he asks.
I nod. “So far, so good. She was a bit fussy this morning, but she did one of those man burps and then smiled at me.”
He chuckles. “That kid’s got to be the biggest burper ever. That’s my daughter.”
I grin. “Only you would be proud of that.”
“Thank you for coming to see me. It really does make my day.” He leans over and pecks me on the lips. “If I had my way, I’d have you two here all the time with me.”
“I think I’d go mad. At least at home I can watch the daytime soaps. And I get visitors.”
He takes a bite of his lunch as he nods. “You know, movie aside, I think the best thing we could ever have done is make friends with Josh and his crowd. It’s been good for you.”
I scoop another generous mouthful onto my fork. “It has. They make me feel at home. The only person missing is Caitlin. I wish we got more time together.”
He wraps one arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer. “We’ll talk to her. Maybe she and Brandon can come and stay when it works in with his schedule. We’ve got plenty of room. ”
“I like that idea.”
When we’ve finished lunch, he wraps his arms around me and kisses me hard—uncaring who sees. I love this man. I love that he’s not afraid to show affection openly. It feels like he wouldn’t mess around on me.
I trust him—I do, but I’m not sure I trust this environment.
In the meantime, he’s done nothing wrong, so I have to have faith that his good behaviour will continue.
I’m not sure what the alternative would do to me.
By mid-afternoon, with Daisy out for the count, I’m bored.
I need to find a project, or to spend time online to find inspiration for my next business venture. Jason and Chrissie cut me off early and told me to take care of my baby, so I can’t even log in to my old app and see what’s happening there.
Being bored doesn’t stop my wandering mind getting stuck on Declan and Hadley. The way she looked at him pissed me off.
My phone rings, and I smile as Delaney’s name comes up.
“Hi, Delaney.” She’s been a regular visitor these past few weeks, but I haven’t seen her in a couple of days. She always brings calm and cheer whenever she arrives.
“I was wondering if you were up for a visitor. I’ve just made some baby quiches, and?—”
Delaney, I can talk to Delaney about this. She’ll understand. She’s got children and her husband’s an actor .
“I’d love to see you,” I blurt out.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
“I just really need to talk.”
“I’m about ten minutes away,” she says.
The crunch of tyres outside the front door alerts me to her presence a short time later. I fling open the door and smile at the sight of her carrying in a plastic container.
“I’ll make some coffee. Come in.”
Delaney follows me through to the kitchen where I get a couple of mugs and make coffee.
She goes to the cupboards and pulls out a plate before opening her container and placing the little quiches on it. “These are still warm.”
“You’re so good to me. Let’s go into the living room.”
With our food and coffee placed on the coffee table, I sit on the couch, and she catches my gaze, her eyes filled with concern.
“I know I asked you on the phone already, but are you okay? You sounded anxious.”
I wring my hands together. “Can I ask you something personal?”
Delaney’s brows twitch, but she nods. “Sure.”
“How do you … how do you deal with Josh doing sex scenes? Declan has one in this movie, and his co-star has hearts in her eyes, and …”
Delaney lets out a sigh and drops onto the couch beside me, taking my hand in hers. “It’s not easy. He always gives me a heads up if something’s going to be in a movie, and I think if I pushed it, he just wouldn’t do it. But I trust him, and the first time I saw him in a sex scene it was the hottest thing ever.” Delaney fans herself with her free hand. “And now I’m good friends with the woman he filmed it with.”
My eyes widen. “Really?”
“It was awkward at first. We’d just gotten back together, and then Josh was off filming. There were rumours about them. I didn’t know Gabby then, but I’d seen her in movies. She’s gorgeous.”
I tilt my head. “ You’re gorgeous. And Josh obviously adores you.”
She grins. “Thank you.”
For a moment she pauses, and I take a sip of my coffee. “What’s the rest of the story?”
Delaney’s brows twitch. “Oh. There were photos of her going into Josh’s trailer. And a story that talked up his new romance. I wanted to trust him so badly, but there was still that uncertainty.”
My throat tightens. I don’t think for a moment that Declan would put our relationship in danger. He loves me and adores our daughter.
Delaney places her hand over mine. “Zoe. He loves you. If you don’t think you can handle it—tell him.”
I chew my bottom lip.
“I let a misunderstanding keep Josh and I apart for six years when all we needed to do was communicate. Don’t let that happen to you and Declan.”
“You’re right.” I run my hand down my cheek. “I’ll talk to him.”
Delaney gives me a small smile. “It’s not an easy life. But I’m always here to talk to, and so are the others. Anytime you need us, we’re here for you. ”
I squeeze her arm. “Thank you. I’m so glad for you all.”
Swallowing hard, I then blow out a breath. “It’s just … I thought I knew where my life was headed, and this past year it’s all been turned upside down.”
She nods. “I remember that feeling from when Josh and I got back together. From the media interest to people saying snarky stuff online—it’s a lot to deal with. Plus, you had a baby not that long ago, and said goodbye to your work baby. You’re amazing, Zoe. Don’t ever forget that.”
“Declan and I haven’t had sex since Daisy,” I blurt out. “I just feel so bloated and …”
Her smile spreads. “He still thinks you’re the hottest thing on two legs. None of us miss the way he looks at you.”
“Really?”
She nods. “Like I said. Talk to him. He’s probably waiting on you to give him the green light.”
As if on cue, the baby monitor picks up Daisy’s wail, and I make a move to stand.
Delaney pulls me back down. “I’ll go and get her. You sit and take a break, Mamma. Gotta save that energy if you’re having sex with the delectable Declan later.” Shooting me a wink, she heads upstairs, returning moments later and rocking Daisy in her arms. “She’s so beautiful. My ovaries are aching already.”
I laugh. “Where’s Addison?”
“With her father. Josh is home with me today, but I wanted to check on you because it’s been a few days, and we’re a pretty useless village if we don’t keep in touch.”
I hold out my arms and take an unsettled Daisy from her. After unclipping my bra, I raise my top and put my baby to my breast where she latches on and feeds hungrily.
“I really appreciate everything you’re doing. I’m not sure how I would have coped alone.”
Delaney shakes her head. “Declan would have put everything on hold if you needed it. He spoke to Josh about his schedule to try and make it easier on you. That’s how I know he loves you.”
My heart swells. “He really does.”
She sits on the couch and picks up her coffee. “I’m here whenever you need me. You know that. When she’s old enough, I can even take her for a night to give you two time alone.” I must grimace as she laughs. “I’m not talking any time soon,” she continues.
“Thank you.”
“You’re always welcome.”
Delaney’s visit gave me a lot of food for thought.
I’m ready to have sex with Declan again—I know he’ll be gentle and loving. It’s my own insecurities coming into play and stopping me. And they’re amplified by his return to acting, especially in a role where he’ll have a love scene.
But I’m the one he loves.
I’m the one he wants.
He’s even sexier to me now he’s a father. The nights where he cradles Daisy and sings to her as we both try and get her to sleep are the best. He never shirks any responsibility when it comes to her—he’s dealt with some of the worst nappies a breastfed baby can produce.
We’re a family, and he’s not giving that up.
I’m lost in thought when the front door closes, and I jump at the sudden sound.
Declan kisses the nape of my neck and rubs his nose up to my ear. “Did my girls have a good day?”
“We did. She’s sleeping now. It’s better now you’re home, though.”
He turns me around and scans my expression. “Are you okay, Zoe?”
“No, just feeling a little insecure.”
He frowns, and wraps his arms over my shoulders. I close my eyes as he tightens his embrace. “Insecure about what?”
“If I’m not happy about my own body, why would you be? And then you’re on set with that gorgeous woman who’s very obviously interested in you.”
He lets out a frustrated sigh and plants a kiss on my neck before loosening his grip. “I love you , Zoe Drake. I’m not going to risk my relationship with you for anything or anyone. What I am going to do is marry you.”
My throat tightens. “Really?”
“That’s the plan. I’ve just been putting off asking because I didn’t know if you’d say yes, and the thought of you refusing me terrifies me.”
I wriggle in his grasp until he lets me go. “Why?”
“I can handle just about anything right now, but being rejected by you might just kill me.”
“Declan,” I whisper.
“Look at us. We’re such a pair. You feeling insecure because of my job and me knowing I’m punching above my weight being with you and worried you’ll say no if I ask you to marry me.”
I blink rapidly. “You are?”
“Baby, you’re all I’ve dreamed about since the day we met. I spent those weeks until you called me picking up the phone and putting it down dozens of times because I knew I wasn’t good enough for you.”
Tears roll down my cheeks. “I was hurt you didn’t call.”
“I’m a fool.”
“I love you,” I whisper.
“I can’t imagine my life without you. When this movie is done, so am I. I’m really retiring this time.”
When I shake my head, he grasps my chin and raises my gaze to meet his.
“I am, Zoe. There’s no way I’m doing this to you, and I’ll be going out on a high. It’s so much better than that shitty movie I was last in.”
“But—”
“No buts. I’m enjoying being back on set, but I can’t do this again. Maybe Josh can find me another job doing something else behind the scenes, but I’d also be happy being a house husband if you wanted to spread your wings.” My eyes widen, and he pecks me on the lips. “I meant work wise. You said you had to wait out your contract before starting any new projects. I want you to have the freedom to do that … if you want to.”
I throw my arms around his neck. It’s so crazy to me that in what feels like a few short months, I’ve gone from feeling the loss of my best friend’s presence and the loneliness that came with that to having the best, most supportive partner on the planet.
“Take me to bed.”
He chuckles. “Now?”
“Daisy’s asleep. There’s no time like the present.”
His face lights up. “Are you really ready? I don’t want you to push yourself.”
“We’ve both waited long enough.” I drop my arms and slide my hand into his. “Please?”
“You don’t have to ask twice, Zoe.”
I laugh as he bends and throws me over his shoulder. He’s careful on the stairs, but once we get to the bedroom, he unceremoniously dumps me on the bed, all while I giggle.
“I love the sound of your laughter,” he says.
Propping myself up on my elbows, I raise my brows. “Is that all you love?”
“I love the taste of your pussy, too, which is what I’m about to help myself to.” He reaches for the button of my jeans, and I groan with relief as he releases the tightness around my waist and tugs my pants down.
“Why are you wearing those when you’re obviously uncomfortable?” he asks.
“I was just so happy to fit them again.”
Declan shakes his head. “Don’t push yourself. I want you to be happy—not squash your organs in some crazy effort to … I’m not sure what you were doing.”
“Feeling normal.”
“Babe, you’re not even two months post-partum. I know you want to push yourself, but I hate seeing you like this.” He leans closer. “Besides, if you wear a dress or a skirt, I have much easier access to your pussy.”
I lick my lips. “I guess you have a point.”
“You know I do.”
“Declan?”
“Zoe?”
“Just love me.”
His expression softens. “That’s the easiest thing in the world to do.”