Solitude (Magnolia Hollow #1)

4. April ‘24

4

APRIL ‘24

Winnie

My nerves are shot by the time I’m rolling my suitcase through the crowded airport, eyes scanning the people zigzagging around wildly.

I need a shower and a nap after the day I’ve had.

All of my problems started before I ever left Magnolia Hollow.

It’s strange being homeless right now. I guess I’m not technically homeless as Beth has so graciously let me stay in the guest house on Bluebird Ranch, but it’s not home. It’s not mine. It’s nice, nicer than living with my parents has ever been, but it’s still not home.

Maybe it’ll feel like it one day.

I wish I could say I was shocked when my parents kicked me out of the house. I was more shocked that it took so long for it to happen. I figured Lorelai would kick me to the curb as soon as she found those rejection letters, truthfully, but she didn’t. Every day, I walked on eggshells in that house wondering when the final shoe was going to drop.

And, buddy, it finally did.

When I announced I was visiting Beck in Texas.

My relationship with the “good-for-nothing neighborhood trash” was too much for my mother’s delicate sensibilities. She’d given me an ultimatum that I’d refused, so maybe she didn’t kick me out. I guess in the grand scheme of things I decided to leave, but it didn’t have to be that way.

I don’t know if I’ll ever truly understand why it came to that, why my parents hated me and everyone in the Hollow, why they insisted on staying and making me miserable. I’ve decided to chalk it up to one of life’s great mysteries that I’ll probably never know the answers to.

Regardless, I have yet to tell Beck about it. It’s been a few weeks now that I’ve been living in the Fletcher’s guesthouse, but I haven’t been able to muster up the courage to admit out loud that my parents disapprove of my life choices so much they cut off all ties with me.

I haven’t heard from Lorelai or Colson since I packed my bags and left.

I spent the first week wallowing. I’m not ashamed to say that despite the fact that this development isn’t surprising in the least, but it still stings. Parents are supposed to be the two people in the world that love you no matter what .

Unconditional love.

I also haven’t had the opportunity to psychoanalyze what it means that I chose Beck without hesitation when Lorelei gave me the choice. Not a breath passed before I turned on my heel and began packing.

Now I’m standing in a massive airport named after a president I don’t know much about with knots in my hair and my sock slipping off my heel into my tennis shoe. I’m uncomfortable and overstimulated. I’ve never drank alcohol before, but I imagine this is where I’d say I really need a drink.

“Excuse me, Miss.”

I whirl around at the voice, ready to knee whoever just tapped my shoulder in the balls and run, but I stop short.

Beckett Hale stands in front of me in a weathered, white and orange UT ball cap and dark sunglasses despite the darkening sky. His mouth is set in a firm line, but I can see a faint twitch in the corners as I continue to stare at him. There’s a small, healing cut through his bottom lip that he must’ve gotten in the last day or two.

I play along. “Yes, sir? Can I help you?”

“I sure hope so,” he replies, dropping his voice lower, huskier, and I swallow. “I was hoping I could take you for a ride.”

I lift a brow when he slides his glasses down his nose, leans closer, and winks.

“Best ride of your life,” he tacks on.

My cheeks heat at the innuendo, and he finally takes pity on me, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and pulling me into his embrace. He buries his face in my neck, and I can feel the way he inhales deeply before placing a light kiss in the curve between my neck and shoulder.

“God, I missed you.”

Swallowing down my nerves, I card my fingers through his unruly hair and kiss the top of his head lightly just because it feels right. “I missed you, too.”

He lifts his head and shifts his sunglasses to the top of his head, two little waves of chocolate brown hair curling over his forehead in a way that makes me want to melt. Beck grabs my chin, searching my eyes for what I think is permission, then softly kisses me. Just enough pressure for me to feel the scabbed over skin on his lip to bite into my mouth, and I hate how much I like it.

How much I like feeling the little nuances on his body—all the scars and scrapes covering his golden skin.

He pulls away all too quickly, but then he’s grabbing my hand and the handle of my suitcase with a big grin as he leads me out of the airport.

“I can’t believe you’re really here,” he admits giddily as he bumps his arm into my shoulder.

“I honestly can’t believe I am, either.”

“Having second thoughts about me already, Winnie?”

“No!” I clear my throat, flushing as he laughs. “You know, it’s bad form to tease me when I flew in an airplane for the first time—all alone, I might add—to see you.”

A lady huffs as she steps around us, muttering about our slow pace as she taps away on her phone. Beck doesn’t pay her any mind though, opting to squeeze my hand then pull it up to his mouth and brush a kiss over my knuckles.

“All teasing isn’t bad.”

My brown furrows. “Huh?”

Beck stares straight ahead, but I catch a small ghost of a smile on his lips, like I’m not supposed to see it. He looks the opposite direction from me and clears his throat, smile vanishing.

“Nothing,” he finally says. “The guys are waiting for us.”

I’m not sure what I was expecting when Beck said he’d pick me up from the airport, but him leading me to a big, jacked up truck with four other guys hanging out of the windows and stomping around in the bed wasn’t exactly it.

I recognize Ben and Gus immediately, and their faces light up when they see me. Gus stands in the bed of the truck with a man I don’t know, but they’re both singing along to a Taylor Swift song playing through the truck speakers as we walk up. Beck sighs, but when I catch his gaze, his eyes are twinkling with amusement.

Like he’s happy to blend these parts of his life.

Gus has cut his hair since I last saw him at Christmas. His usually shaggy blonde hair is trimmed short on the sides with a little more length on top. I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen him with his hair this short, but it looks good on him. He has dark circles under his eyes and a grin on his face that’s infectious.

He hops out of the truck bed and scoops me up in a tight hug, still singing. He grabs Beck’s chin and serenades him until Ben walks up and slaps his hand away. Gus redirects his attention to Ben, and even though he’s rolling his eyes, I can tell he doesn’t mind the way Gus hangs all over him.

Ben hasn’t changed since I saw him last, but he also hasn’t changed much over the years, period. Short, straight hair the same shade as Beck’s and a deeper shade of blue eyes are all that set him apart in a lot of ways from Beck. Beck is taller and thicker, built like a hockey player who trains constantly, while Ben has always favored a leaner build.

I think it’s because hockey is a hobby for him while it’s a passion for Beck.

The two strangers make their way out of the truck and over towards where we’re standing at the edge of the parking spot.

“This is the infamous Winnie?” The brunette points at me, smiling, then upnods at me like I’m just one of the boys. “Nice to meet you, baby. Name’s Ty.”

Trouble. I can feel it in my bones the same way I’ve always felt it about Gus. It’s a different kind where Ty is concerned though. For Gus, it’s the kind of issue where girls fall at his feet, and mommy and daddy clean up all of his messes. Ty’s issues look like the kind that comes with no money and overcompensating. He’s not Gus Taylor by any means, but he’s trouble regardless.

His dark hair is covered in a maroon beanie that shows his ears, and I realize it’s for fashion, not functionality. He has a grey UT Hockey hoodie on and athletic shorts so tiny they might show his junk if he makes one wrong move. Cracked, chipped black polish coats his nails and colorful, beaded bracelets poke out of his sleeve as he reaches a fist out.

Awkwardly, I bump my knuckles to his, ignoring the way his are scuffed and busted.

Beck slaps Ty’s hand away with a growl. “She’s not your baby.”

Ty grins, holding his hands up by his ears innocently.

The other guy rolls his eyes and reaches over Ty to wave at me. That’s right. I said over. He’s huge. Like a bear.

“He’s an idiot. Just ignore him,” he says, and I stare in fascination as his thick, dark mustache moves with his wide smile. His black hair is tucked beneath a backwards cap that looks similar to Beck’s, and I dumbly reach my hand out and shake his hands.

“I think Knox broke her,” Ty whispers in awe. “Look how tiny her hand is in his!”

Knox looks embarrassed as he steps back, arms crossing over his chest, and I blink a couple times.

“I’m sorry,” I mumble. “You are so tall and…” I trail off as my hands measure the width of his shoulders. “How tall are you?”

Knox rubs the back of his neck, eyes flicking to Beck then back to me. “Six-foot-eight.”

Looking at Beck, I squeeze his arm. “I feel like I’m breaking my neck to look at his face. This is insane.”

“You should see how intimidating he is on the ice. ”

“I can’t wait,” I confess, still in awe of this gigantic man that’s supposed to be in college. “How old are you?”

Gus and Ty chuckle. Knox shoots them the middle finger. “I’m twenty-three.”

“Twenty-three?!”

“Yes.”

“Are your parents giants?”

He winces. “Uh… I don’t know.”

My brow furrows. “You…don’t know?”

“No.”

Beck places his hand on my back and steers me away from Knox and toward the truck. “That’s enough for the night, Winnie. Lets go home.”

“But—”

“Get in the truck, babe,” Beck says as he opens the back door, and I’m so dumbstruck by the endearment that I yelp when he smacks my butt.

Smacks. My butt.

I’ve never climbed in a vehicle so fast.

Beck

When we had one final conference game left in the season at the beginning of April that determined whether or not we were going to the Frozen Four, I called Winnie with a plane ticket pre-booked and a hard-on I haven’t been able to get rid of since Christmas .

Now she’s here, standing in a sea of orange and white wearing my jersey that’s two sizes too big for her and a smile that makes my insides turn with the need to kiss the fuck out of her.

The fact that Winnie is in Texas, watching me play one of the most important games of my life, feels surreal. Hell, waking up with her in my bed this morning with wild hair and my t-shirt on made me imagine a future that revolved around more than hockey.

At Christmas, I’d put my heart on the line and made it clear that this , whatever it is between us, feels real. It feels like forever. It feels like marriage and babies and growing old together.

It doesn’t scare me the way I thought it would.

Instead, I get scared when I think about it ending.

We haven’t even defined what we are to each other, yet, but I know I’m falling in love with her. Maybe I have been since last summer. All I know is that I want to see Winnie wearing my name and number at all of my games from now on.

Scratch that. I need it.

So when the goal lights up after I sink another puck into the net just above the goalies net as the final buzzer signals the end of the game, I find her in the stands first. My skates carry me through the chaos of players flooding the ice, and I stop in front of the glass separating us.

Winnie’s already looking at me, climbing down the bleachers and pushing her way through the crowd to get to me, and when she’s finally standing in front of me, I just stare at her.

Smiling and breathing hard.

Happy and exhausted.

The noise is deafening, and I point my stick toward the locker rooms, hoping she catches my ask to wait for me after the game. Mellie, Knox’s sister that offered to sit with Winnie during the game, nods to me from her place in the stands, and I know she’ll make sure Winnie finds where she’s going.

I tug my glove off and place my hand on the glass, sweat dripping over my nose and onto my jersey. Winnie’s eyes follow the droplet as her teeth dig into her bottom lip, and if I didn’t know any better…

Save it for when you’re somewhere private, Hale.

She mirrors her hand over mine on the glass, and I blow her a kiss before taking off for the locker rooms.

It takes me longer than I want to get showered and dressed, but the guys are flying on cloud nine at the fact we’re going to the semifinals in two weeks. If Winnie was still in Magnolia Hollow, I probably would’ve goofed off with the boys longer and met up at Pucker, a local bar that college kids frequent, but knowing my girl is in the corridor with my goddamn jersey on has a fire lit under my ass.

When I burst through the double doors, the guys are making gross kissing noises at me that I ignore as I search the tunnel. I wander a few steps forward, stretching onto my toes as I frantically look around for her .

Then two dainty hands cover my eyes from behind, and I smile.

“Guess who?”

I hum. “Ryan Gosling? Is that you?”

She shoves my shoulder and giggles. “Really?”

“Winnie?” I gasp, spinning around. “When’d you get here?”

She’s grinning at me, nose scrunching as she looks up at me. “You’re an idiot.”

“But I’m your idiot, right?” Please just say yes.

She purses her lips and jumps onto her tiptoes to wrap her arms around my neck suddenly. I catch her, my arms automatically going around her waist. She brushes a piece of damp hair off my forehead and says, “Yeah. You’re mine, and I’m yours.”

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding at her words, and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest as I gaze down at her. Her honey colored eyes are bright and sparkling tonight, and I crush her closer to my chest in hopes to feel her heart racing against my own rapidly beating heart.

“Let’s get out of here.”

She swallows and nods, unlocking her arms from behind my neck then grabs my hand in her own as she pulls me along, and I realize I’d probably follow her anywhere.

Something is different between Winnie and me tonight.

Even though I could feel it in the air between us, supercharged and shocking as we drove back to my townhouse, I wasn’t fully convinced Winnie felt it, too.

Needless to say, I am one hundred percent sure Winnie feels the tension between us now as she launches herself at me as soon as I shut the front door. I’d planned to ask her if she was hungry or thirsty because I’m a gentleman.

Now she’s wrapping herself around me like a fucking koala bear, and I’m so caught off guard that I don’t respond for half a second before kicking myself into gear. Her arms are locked around my neck, hands in my hair as she yanks on the strands to guide my mouth to hers. She squeezes her legs around my waist as she thrusts her tongue into my mouth, no preamble or easing into it.

She’s just taking, and I’m more than happy to give.

My hands land on her ass, kneading her flesh through her shorts as I spin around and push her back against the wall. She grunts into my mouth, and I swallow it, my tongue darting into her mouth as she tries her damnedest to pull me closer like I’m not already close to crushing her against the sheetrock.

“Winnie, baby…”

She grabs a handful of my hair and jerks my head back, licking over my throat, and I groan, a litany of curses leaving my mouth as I walk us toward the stairs. The thought of climbing an entire flight of stairs right now feels like a true test from the universe .

By some miracle, my feet move, determination coursing throughout my body as I realize I’m going to have this beautiful woman one way or the other. It takes entirely longer than it should to make it to the landing at the top because Winnie refuses to stop rubbing and teasing and sucking every piece of exposed skin within her reach.

Her hands, hot and soft, dip beneath the collar of my dress shirt before finding their way back into my hair. Every time she lets out a frustrated huff, a sound so small I don’t think she even knows she’s making it, I lose focus and push her back against the wall like a neanderthal.

Like I said…

Test from the universe.

By the time I shove the door open with my foot, we’re toppling inside in a mess of limbs and laughter. Winnie’s wild hair smacks me in the face as she drops her feet to the floor and jumps onto my bed, making herself right at home in my sheets, twisting her fingers in my comforter with a grin on her pretty face.

God, she’s beautiful.

I stare at her, blinking slowly, as all the pieces begin to slot together inside my brain. Winnie Carmichael, my next-door neighbor, the girl who once upon a time would run away anytime I glanced her way, flew to Texas to watch me play in one of my best games of the season. Winnie Carmichael, the best and most unexpected thing in my life, is lying in my bed with sparkling eyes and a smile so bright and happy it makes my chest hurt .

“What?” She asks, sitting up. Her smile fades as she wipes at her cheeks. “Do I have something on my face?”

Shaking my head, I step closer and crawl onto the bed, sitting on my knees in front of her.

“Then why are you looking at me like that?”

“I’m speechless. Reduced to revenant stares by your presence.”

“You don’t seem to be too speechless right now,” she points out softly, and my eyes dip to her mouth. Her lips part, and her warm breath coasts over my skin as she lifts her eyes to mine.

Sitting back on my heels, I lift my hands to cup her face, angling her head just right so I can lean down. Her eyes flutter closed as I brush my lips over hers. I can feel her eyelashes flickering against my skin, and I pull away to study her, document all the ways she’s absolute putty in my hands right now.

“Beck…” she whispers, blinking her eyes open. “Are you going to touch me?”

I swallow. “I’m touching you right now. I’ve been touching you. Can’t keep my hands off of you actually.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“What’d you mean then, baby?”

She shivers, and I rub my thumbs over the pretty pink coloring her cheeks right now. Her embarrassment makes me soft, and at the same time I need her to say it.

“Beck, come on.” Her lip pokes out, a pout on her full lips, and I kiss it away. “You know .”

“Do I? ”

She wriggles out of my grip and mirrors my position so we’re knee to knee, and I sit back on my heels again with wide eyes.

Winnie grips the hem of her jersey, and my eyes track the movement as she pulls it over her head without another moment of hesitation. She throws it somewhere to the side of the room then stares at me with determination lighting up her golden eyes.

“Your turn.”

With a chuckle, I undo the buttons on the cuffs of my dress shirt. I shed my jacket and tie before we ever even got in my truck when we left the stadium, and for that, I’m grateful. Still, it’s not fast enough for Winnie, and she leans forward with eager hands.

“May I?” she asks sweetly, fingers already grasping the top button of my shirt.

At my nod, her face creases in concentration as she deftly manages to unbutton my dress shirt like she’s been training for this moment her whole life. When she finishes, she begins pushing the material from my shoulders with a giddy grin.

Between Winnie’s eagerness and my determination, it doesn’t take long before we’re standing on opposite sides of the bed, completely naked. I expected Winnie to feel self-conscious and unsure of herself, but her hands are hanging by her sides, relaxed and loose as she openly ogles my body.

There’s an entire mattress separating us, but I swear I can feel the heat from her gaze. It’s palpable and leaves me swallowing nervously. I thought I was supposed to be the confident one between the two of us.

Winnie licks her lips and pushes her knees against the bed. “I…am having a hard time standing still.”

“Who said you had to stand still?”

“I want to touch you,” she tells me, already crawling onto the bed and toward me. She looks up at me through her lashes then down at my dick, which jerks at her attention. “I really want to touch you, Beck.”

I can tell she’s not trying to be sexy. It’s not some facade or act to make me bend to her will. In fact, it’s just Winnie being herself, and it’s making my goddamn knees buckle. Her innocence is hot. Don’t get me wrong. Knowing that I’m going to be the first person to touch her makes me harder than it should, but this … Her honesty and eagerness turn me on more than anything else.

“You can do whatever you want, Winnie,” I finally say. “Touch me anywhere you want.”

And she does.

She sits back on her heels and raises her hands. She plants them just under my collarbones, her fingers wiggling a bit before she drags them down my torso until she gets to my hip bones. She hesitates then pulls her fingers back up my abdomen, softly moving over each ridge and bump as my stomach contracts under her touch.

I won’t stand here and claim to be a virgin. I’m not, and I know Winnie knows that. Gus already shared my reputation on campus with Magnolia Hollow, and I own that shit. I’m a giver. Always have been. I am a generous lover.

I’ve been touched by a lot of people in a lot of different ways.

But never in the way Winnie touches me.

I don’t know how to explain it except… Winnie once read to me an excerpt from a book she’d bought, and it was one of the cheesiest, sappiest things I’d ever heard. The woman described the man’s touch as something akin to worship. She went into detail about how every sweep of the Hero’s hands made her feels safe and adored and loved .

So I get it.

Winnie is my Fabio right now, and that’s the thought that makes me drop my head back for a moment in shame.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” she confesses in that soft voice like her hands aren’t driving me crazy right now.

“You’re doing really fucking great so far, Win.”

“Yeah?”

I nod, too distracted by her movements to do much else.

Her hands trace every line and contour on my body. She maps every scar, scratch, and bruise with her finger tips then scrapes her lips over each spot until I’m staring at the ceiling and breathing hard. Her hair slides over my cock every time she leans close, and after the fifth time I can’t take it anymore.

“That’s enough.” I grab her by the shoulders and push her back onto the mattress. “It’s my turn.”

Winnie

“It’s my turn.”

My back hits the mattress with a thump, and I stare at Beck with wide eyes before pushing up onto my elbows.

He grabs one of my feet and brings it to his mouth, and I watch in fascination as he presses a kiss to my ankle before dragging his lips over my calf to kiss the inside of my knee. He repeats the motion on the other leg, slow and methodical, and I inhale shakily when his hands glide over my thighs.

“Lay back,” Beck says gently, crawling up my body until I fall back onto the bed.

He plants his hands on either side of my face and hovers over me, and I try not to think about the fact that I can feel his penis dragging along my hip as he captures my lips desperately.

Kissing Beck is an activity I’m not quite sure I’ll ever get used to; I don’t think I really want to, honestly.

It’s still surreal to feel his lips pressing into mine, his tongue licking into my mouth and across my teeth, as his chest is brushing against mine with every harsh breath he takes. I never want the butterflies in my belly to go away whenever Beck’s lips touch mine. I never want the adrenaline to stop whenever he lowers his body completely on top of mine. I never want the goosebumps to vanish whenever he skims his hands down my sides, over my ribs, and across my stomach.

I hope these feelings stay. I hope I feel them every time Beck touches me.

“Are you sure?” Beck asks as he shimmies down the bed until he’s situated between my legs.

“Yes.”

“If you want to stop, just tell me. It all ends wherever you want it to end, okay?”

Sitting up on my elbows again, I blink down at Beck. “I cannot imagine a world in which I’d ask you to ever stop.”

He chuckles and slides his hand under my thighs. He pushes my legs forward, bending me in half almost, and I’m forced to drop back down to the bed.

“Just remember what I said.” Then he drops his face to my pussy and inhales.

My brow furrows, and I try to raise up again. I only make it onto one elbow, but it’s enough leverage to watch him run his nose along my slit before using his tongue instead.

I’ve only ever read about all the things Beck does to me with his mouth, and it’s obviously made me curious about how it feels to be the one on the receiving end instead of living vicariously through a fictional woman.

“Oh!”

The sound bursts out of me, gasping and shocked, as Beck flattens his tongue against my sensitive flesh before sucking and nipping before doing it all over again until I’m panting and rolling my hips against Beck’s face. Embarrassment clouds me, warming my cheeks as I realize I’ve shifted enough on my arm to thread my free hand through his hair.

When I realize I’m somehow pulling his hair and pushing him further into my wet pussy, I loosen my hold, mortified at the way just a few swipes of Beck’s tongue have made me forget myself.

“Don’t,” Beck mumbles, releasing one of my thighs to grab my hand and pull it back to his head.

I hesitate. “I feel like I’m hurting you, or—I don’t know—suffocating you?”

Beck pulls away and grins, mouth and chin glistening with… me .

“You’re not hurting me, Winnie.”

“Makes me feel weird to push your head that way.”

“I like it.”

I raise a brow. “You like it?”

“Wait, no.” Beck brings a hand up and cups my pussy before running a finger through my folds. He slowly sinks his finger inside of me, and I gasp. “I take it back. I don’t like it. I love it. I love knowing I’m making you feel so good you can just feel. Pull my hair. Push my head. Use me to get yourself off. I love it, baby.”

Oh.

I drop down onto my back. My hands clutch at the comforter as Beck stares at me then he pushes his finger inside me again, slow and steady, and my chest rises on an inhale I can’t release just yet.

My hips wriggle. His finger pumps in and out of me still, and I loosen to the intrusion as he maintains his rhythm. It’s not until he drops my other thigh and slides his large hand across my belly, pushing slightly, do I let out the breath I’ve been holding onto. I plant my heels on the bed and thread a hand through Beck’s hair again, tugging the dark strands.

“What do you want?”

I lift my head and flick my eyes down to where he’s knuckle-deep inside of me right now like it should be obvious.

He lifts a brow and pulls his finger all the way out, slides it through my folds then rubs my clit slowly. “What are you asking for, Winnie?”

“Don’t stop,” I whine, pushing my hips toward him while tugging his hair again. “I need more.”

“More what?”

“Just more!” I snap, brow furrowing.

Beck blows warm air onto my sensitive pussy, and I feel myself involuntarily clenching around nothing. I let out a frustrated groan, and he snaps his fingers to get my attention.

“Say it.” His eyes are intense, dark and hooded, and his voice has an edge to it. It’s the first time it occurs to me that maybe Beck needs more as much as I do. He’s just waiting for me to ask for it. “I want to hear you say it. ”

Swallowing, I lick my lips.

He keeps going. His thumb replaces his finger over my clit, and I gasp at the pressure. “I want to hear you beg for my mouth on you. I want to hear you beg for my fingers in your hot pussy. I want to hear the way you sound, all soft and sweet, begging me for more, harder, faster. I want it.”

“Please,” I start, unable to break eye contact with him. His vulgar words turn me on. Seeing his mouth form such dirty words makes me think of all the sleepy, tired eyes and soft smiles he’s given me. The stark contrast between the Beck I’ve been exposed to until…now.

He nods, like an eager puppy, and I’d be remiss to deny him.

“Please put your mouth on me,” I say after I gather my courage. “I want your mouth again. It…it feels so good.”

“Good girl,” he murmurs so low I almost don’t hear him then dips his head to press a kiss against my pussy. “What else?”

“Your fingers…” My tongue feels heavy in my mouth as I try to unfurl the words that stick in my mouth. “I want you to make me come, Beck. With your mouth and your fingers.”

Beck’s answering grin is blinding, and I find myself chuckling when he salutes me then drops back between my legs. He pushes my legs apart then flattens his tongue against my slit and devours me. I have no other words to describe the way he eats me out. Every swipe of his tongue leaves me gasping and moaning in pleasure. The sounds that leave my mouth are ungodly. I should be embarrassed to be so wanton with a man, but all I want is more.

It’s not enough.

But it’s like Beck can read my body language and decipher what my strangled moans really mean because he slides two fingers inside me as he sucks my clit into his mouth.

It’s overwhelming.

My body jerks and twists. Like I can’t decide if I want to push my face harder against Beck’s face or take a breather.

He’s determined now though. Renewed in his efforts thanks to my words, and I ride the wave as he carries me closer and closer to the edge.

“Beck… Beck, I?—”

He hums against me. His free hand glides over my ribs, cups my breast, and teases my nipple. I cover his hand with my own as my stomach contracts.

I’m chanting his name. I’m moaning drawn out oh’s and yeah’s. I’m screaming at him to keep going…right there…don’t stop. My mouth is just moving. Out of my control.

When my orgasm finally hits me, it’s different than I thought it would be. I assumed it would feel good, obviously. Every book I’ve read makes it clear just how enjoyable an orgasm can be, but I’m starting to think it’s something you just have to experience to fully understand.

My eyes squeeze shut as I let out a harsh scream. My fingers grip Beck’s hair as I ride the waves of pleasure coursing throughout my body. It feels electrifying and never ending; tense and loose all at the same time. Every time I think it’s over, my body spasms and a moan slips past my lips.

Beck pulls away from me and brings his fingers up to his mouth, wet with proof of my orgasm, and he puts the digits in his mouth.

He groans. Closes his eyes.

Like I taste better than any meal he’s ever been served.

I’m melting into the mattress, staring up at him with hooded eyes. I don’t know what possesses me to ask, but I can’t help myself. “How do I taste?”

“Curious?” He smirks.

“A little bit.”

“Here.” He pushes his fingers inside me, eliciting a gasp from my mouth. One second, he’s pumping two fingers in and out of me slowly, and I feel that pressure begin to build low in my belly once again. Then the next second, he’s pushing those same fingers into my mouth. “Open up. Taste yourself.”

I do as he says. My tongue licks over his skin languidly, and I try not to feel weird about where he’s just had them.

“So sweet.” Beck crawls up my body, trailing wet kisses over my belly then over my breasts. He pulls each of my nipples into his mouth, and my back arches off the bed at the feel of his tongue and teeth scraping over the sensitive bud.

“God, you’re so beautiful.”

“This feels so surreal,” I throw my head back against the bed, my fingers tangling in his hair as he kneads my breasts. “We’re going to have sex, right?”

Beck chuckles and lifts his head. “Do you want to have sex?”

“Yes. Please. I want to feel you inside me.”

He groans, and when he rolls his hips, I feel the tip of his dick hit just left of my pussy. I squirm in his hold, and when he does it again, his dick slides through my wetness before landing on my lower belly.

“Beck, please.”

“Are you sure?”

Always with the questions. “Yes! I’m saying please, Beckett. Come on.”

He kisses me hard and fast through a grin. “I hope this overwhelming feeling I have around you never goes away.”

Me either.

“How do you want me?” I find myself asking.

Beck huffs out a laugh. “So many fucking ways, baby, but right now, I want to see your face. Here, lift your hips. There you go.”

I do as he asks as he fluffs a pillow and pushes it underneath me. I’ve been ignoring just how big his dick actually is now that we’re here. I’ve read enough books to know it’s silly to think he won’t fit, but I’m not delusional enough to think it won’t hurt.

Even his fingers were a tight fit.

As if reading my thoughts, he gives his length a couple of slow, languid strokes then drops his hand to cup my pussy. Two fingers enter me, and after a minute, he inserts a third digit.

“C’mere.”

My words slur as I yank him down and cover his mouth with mine. I can’t get enough. I need him everywhere. His tongue in my mouth, his hands on my body, and his dick buried inside my pussy. And I’m tired of waiting.

Sliding my hands over his back and down toward his ass, I pull him closer and feel his cock slide through my slit as he moves his hands to catch himself so he doesn’t smother me. Beck’s eyes are closed, and I pull him into me again, wrapping my legs around his hips to rock forward.

“Winnie—”

“No, no, no.” I mumble. I’m too distracted with the sight of him between my legs to say anything else, and I drop my head down to the mattress as the tip of his cock catches on my hole.

“Fuuuuuck,” Beck groans.

He pushes himself up onto his knees and grips my knees, spreading me wide for him, and I lift onto my elbows again to see what he’s seeing. To watch the way his dick disappears inside of me inch by inch. To see the way he fits inside me so perfectly.

It hurts. Don’t get me wrong. It really freaking hurts, and I squirm against the bed as Beck rocks gently against me.

But then Beck drops down, hovers over me as he brackets my face with his forearms, and kisses across my jaw then down my neck. He sucks a bruise onto the curve of my neck then nips at my shoulder, and I start to breathe easier.

“You can move,” I tell him.

“You sure?”

I pinch his side.

“Ow!”

“I said, move.”

Beck lifts up, kisses my nose, then shifts back onto his knees. He rubs his palms down the inside of my thighs. I inhale slowly as he pulls out almost all the way, but my exhale isn’t as slow. The air punches out of me as he shoves back inside, and I feel my head nodding.

“More. More of that, please.”

“Yes ma’am.”

It feels entirely too quick after that. For every time that Beck pulls out and thrusts back in, my insides tighten a little bit more, and I know that’s the point. I know the point is to bring me to orgasm, but I don’t want it to be over yet.

Beck doesn’t give me much of a choice though.

His hips slap against my butt, and I revel in every grunt and groan that falls out of his mouth. His fingers dig into my hip bones so hard I might have marks, but I’m okay with that. It’ll be something to remind me of Beck even when I have to return home.

Suddenly, I fall over the edge without any help from Beck’s magical fingers on my clit. He’s hammering that little spot inside of me that lights up my insides with every thrust, and I come apart at the seams when I let myself look at Beck’s body.

He’s staring at where we’re joined, brow furrowed in concentration and his teeth digging so hard into his bottom lip I’m worried he might start bleeding. Every muscle in his body is strung tight, flexed as he puts his everything into making love to me. His abs contract with each motion, and sweat drips down his torso.

He looks like a freaking powerhouse, and he’s just talking. Words fall out of his mouth at an alarming rate, and they just drive me closer and closer to my climax.

“Perfect,” he mumbles. “So fucking perfect taking my cock. Like a dream, Winnie. My dream. Holy shit.”

That’s what makes me shatter around him with no warning. One minute he’s pulling my hips into him, fast and hard, then the next minute, I’m screaming and bucking against him. My mouth opens, but I couldn’t even begin to know if anything actually comes out beyond incoherent noises.

“Holy fucking shit, Winnie.” His voice is strained as he drops down to claim my mouth in a half-assed kiss. “So tight… You’re so fuckin’ tight.”

I don’t know how I’m managing that. I’m currently a pile of bones even with each aftershock that rocks my body. I couldn’t move or help him reach the finish line right now if I tried.

He slams into me once, twice, then plasters his body to mine. The craziest part is that I can feel him dripping out of me. Hot and wet between my thighs. He pulls out and buries his head in the crook of my neck as he tries to catch his breath.

“That was…” I start, my mouth moving too slow.

“Amazing?” Beck finishes for me, lifting his head with a grin.

I nod, staring at the ceiling as I rub my hand over Beck’s sweaty back. “Pretty much, yeah. My body feels boneless. Is that normal?”

“Can be, yeah.” Beck reaches between my legs and freezes. “Fuck.”

“What?”

He scoots off the bed and shoves his hands through his hair. “I forgot to use a condom.”

“Oh.”

“I’m clean. I promise. I never fuck without a condom.”

Swallowing, I sit up and reach for one of his hands. I squeeze his larger hand between both of mine in what I hope is a comforting gesture. “Beck, I’m on the pill. I… I’ll be honest I didn’t really think about anything beyond that, but I should’ve told you. I didn’t mean to freak you out.”

He snaps his head up and sighs. “I’m not freaking out. I just should’ve been more careful. For future reference though, there are worse things that come from sex than babies.”

I lift a brow. “Future reference? I thought we were only having sex with each other from now on.”

“From now on sounds a lot like forever to me.” Beck squeezes my hands. “You proposing to me, baby?”

“Maybe,” I say seriously .

“What? Are you… Are you being for real?”

“We keep throwing around words like ‘forever’ and ‘mine’ so casually. You said it yourself.” I blink at him the maneuver onto my knees and stare up at him. “When you know, you know, right?”

Beck’s voice sounds rough and hoarse when he speaks. “What are you saying, Winnie? I want you to be very clear.”

I swallow around the lump in my throat. “Let’s do it. Forever, I mean. Be mine.”

“Ask the question, Winnie.”

With a huff, I ignore him. I won’t ask. “Marry me, Beck. I know we’re young, and everyone is going to tell us what a horrible idea this is, but… Let’s do it. Today, tomorrow, five years from now. I don’t care. Just marry me. Let’s make the most out of forever.”

Beck’s eyes roam my face, and I realize I don’t know if I’ve ever seen him look so serious and focused. He’s looking at me like he’s waiting for me to tell him it’s all a joke, but it’s not. I meant every word. I’ll mean every word until I take my last breath.

That’s how sure I am.

But as the silence drags on, my heart begins to race in my chest, and the panic builds. I squeeze his hand again desperately. “I know what you mean now. At first, I didn’t understand what you meant by knowing you found the right person, but I feel you in my soul, Beck. You’re solid and sturdy. You don’t waver. Unbreakable and impenetrable. The most sure love I’ve ever felt. ”

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I realize just how much I truly believe them. In all ways, the people in my life who were meant to love me unconditionally just simply have not. They’ve disappointed me in every way imaginable. I’ve never know a love that I didn’t have to doubt in some capacity.

Except for Beckett Hale.

“Love?”

I frown, uncertain. “You think I’d ask you to marry me if I didn’t love you? I think I’ve loved you in some form or fashion for years, Beck. It’s just morphed into something different now. Something real.”

“Years… Are you being serious right now? Because if you’re not?—”

“I knew your favorite was color was green because you would color your hockey tape whenever your dad wasn’t around. You’d wear green socks every game day, too. I know you had your first kiss in your pool to Holly Franklin at fifteen, and I was so jealous I threw a rock at you guys.”

“I don’t remember that.”

“Yeah, well, I never claimed to be athletic. I missed by a mile, Beck.” A dry laugh escapes me, and I stare at Beck, vulnerable and scared. “I know you used to hit your little pucks at the fence between out houses to annoy my parents. I would watch you laugh when my mom would notice the way the fence was falling apart or stranded pucks on our side.”

Beck laughs. “Lorelai Carmichael… She’s a mean woman. I don’t know how you do it. ”

I inhale sharply and watch Beck’s face twist in confusion.

“What? What’s that look for?” He asks, tucking a finger underneath my chin and pulling my face toward his. I blink. “Did something happen?”

“I guess,” I start, swallowing. “They kicked me out. I haven’t heard from either of them in a couple weeks.”

Beck’s brow furrows. He looks angry, and I rub my thumb over the back of his hand comfortingly. “This happened a couple weeks ago?”

“Three. Three weeks ago.”

His face contorts strangely, incredulous and shocked. “Three weeks? Where have you been staying, Winnie?”

“Cole and Beth have been letting me stay in one of the guest houses on the ranch.” I shrug. “It hasn’t been too bad actually.”

“Have you still been walking to Sugar everyday?”

I nod, cheeks heating.

“What the fuck…” He whispers, more to himself than me. Louder, he asks, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

I slide my hand over his forearm and squeeze. Touching him brings me a bit of peace. “I don’t know. I knew you wouldn’t care or judge me, but… it’s still embarrassing. I mean, my own parents don’t love me, Beck.”

Beck sighs and drops down onto the bed beside me. He hauls me into his lap, tucking me tightly against his chest, and I let him. Twining my arms around his neck and wriggling my bare butt on his lap to get comfy.

“Stop moving. Fuck. ”

I flush and freeze in place. “Sorry.”

“Let’s talk about the important shit real quick then you can rub your ass all over me. Sound good?”

I nod, cheeks still burning.

Beck inhales and catches my gaze. Earnestly, he says, “You can’t ask me to marry you in the same breath you tell me you’ve been keeping a secret from me, Winnie.”

I open my mouth then close it. Any argument I might’ve had dies on my tongue. “You’re right. I wasn’t trying to keep a secret… I just didn’t know how to tell you that over the phone.”

He brushes my hair out of my face, tucking the wild, knotted strands behind my ears. “I get that. I do.” He lets out a breath. “But if we’re getting married, tying our lives together permanently, then we have to be honest and communicate. Because, unless you’re planning to move to Texas soon, we’ll be video calling and texting for the foreseeable future, baby.”

I cross my arms over my chest and huff, a grin pulling at my lips. “Well, considering you haven’t even answered my proposal…”

He laughs, pushes me back against the mattress, and covers my body with his own. He kisses the pout on my lips and the crinkles of my eyes and the furrow of my brow. He kisses my forehead, the tip of my nose, and my chin. He brushes his lips over my cheeks and pulls back to look at me.

“I will marry you rain or shine, no matter the distance, or the time. ”

I can’t help the way my eyes get watery as I look at him. My grin is soft as I card my fingers through his hair.

“Don’t cry,” he murmurs, wiping at my cheeks.

Inhaling shakily, I lick my lips. “I’m happy. I thought… I thought you might think I was absolutely crazy for wanting to marry you so quickly. It didn’t even occur to me that there was a possibility you might say no until I asked.”

“I’m a sure thing, Winnie.”

“You love me as much as I love you, right?”

Beck grins. “More. I am going to be the most sure thing in your life, Winnie Carmichael. You’ll never have another love like this. Because I do. I love you.”

I pull him down and press my lips to his in a bruising kiss. It’s heat and passion, and my tongue thrusts into his mouth without a moment of hesitation. I hike my leg over Beck’s hip and push, flipping us over and right off the bed.

Beck grunts, the air punching out of his lungs. “Ow.”

“I’m so sorry,” I giggle. I landed perfectly on his chest. “I didn’t realize we were that close to the edge.”

My hair falls in a curtain around us as I hover over Beck’s face with a wide grin. Beck’s hands find the dip of my waist then drift over the swell of my hips and over the curve of my ass. He squeezes my flesh, pulling me tighter to his body, and I drop down so we’re chest to chest as I maneuver my legs to straddle his hips.

“Say it again,” he whispers.

“I love you, Beck.” I lift a brow at him expectantly.

“I love you more, Winnie.”

“And? ”

He smirks. “And…”

I sit up, rolling my eyes playfully, and he catches me around the waist, yanks me back down to his chest, and brushes my hair off my face once more.

Then he says, “And I’ll marry you as soon as a fucking chapel opens.”