Chapter 19
19
Margot
M argot didn’t recognize the woman in the mirror, and it wasn’t just because her cheeks were starting to look more sallow. She’d been eating—but only enough to keep up her energy for dance. She told herself she was just too busy to consume food when she was juggling so many different events.
She was hanging on by a thread and she knew it, but at least she had that thread. She hadn’t let go yet. That meant she was still surviving, and all she had to do was get to the end of the tunnel. That was Margot’s focus.
Finish her schooling. Keep her father from figuring out that she was dating Liam. Keep Prada at the only place that made sense. Finish choreographing the ballet production she’d signed on for. And there was something else. Or maybe there wasn’t.
She pressed her face into her hands as she slumped down on her bed. The argument she’d had with Liam a few days ago had worn on her even more than she’d thought possible. Between the lies to her father and the lies to Liam, she didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to keep holding that thread.
Her head pounded, and her stomach twisted. She wasn’t sick, though. This was just a bout of tiredness, and she was going to be fine. Maybe she just needed a little more sleep. That made sense. No more staying up late and worrying about what the next day would bring.
Margot’s thoughts shifted to Liam, and her heart broke a little more.
He was such a sweet guy. She knew this from the start. He wanted to be there for her; she could see it on his face. But there was no way she could tell him the depths of what she was dealing with. Liam wouldn’t look at her the same way. He’d judge her just like her father judged her.
She let out a groan that sounded more like she was crying out and fell back on her bed to stare at the ceiling. Her father wasn’t home from work yet. That gave her some time to breathe before she had to put on a brave face for him.
What she really needed was a way to ground herself again. The only thing that had helped her before was when she was out in the fields stretching and dancing. She could do that again. She could go out to the middle of nowhere and just feel the breeze on her skin and hear the music that played in her head.
Wait, no, she couldn’t. She didn’t have time.
Maybe her father was right about her all along. She needed to figure out her life. She needed to find one thing and stick with it.
Once upon a time, she’d thought it was dance. Now, she wasn’t so sure—especially since dance didn’t seem to be helping like it had before.
Margot covered her face with her hands and let her thoughts wander. What she really wanted right now was to sneak out and visit Liam. She wanted to apologize for what she’d said and how she’d behaved.
Rolling over, she glanced at her phone to find that he’d be getting off work any moment now. She’d already done her chores for the day, but maybe she could do what he’d tried to do for her.
Margot sat up on her bed and pulled her legs tight into her chest. She could show up in a dress and take him out somewhere on the property, and they could just spend some time together.
Without wasting another second, Margot launched herself from her bed and hurried to her closet. She pulled out several dresses that she thought might work. Unfortunately, she’d lost several pounds since starting school and most of the dresses hung on her frame limply.
She wanted to cry when she saw herself in the floor-length mirror. Liam was bound to notice. Perhaps she could still make do with a skirt and a sweater to hide just how much weight she’d lost. Margot scrounged around in her dresser for something that would work and ended up choosing a pair of leggings and a cute sweater that came to the top of her thighs.
When she poked her head out of her bedroom, she was relieved to find that her father wasn’t home yet. After writing a little note for him and leaving it on the kitchen counter, she slipped outside and headed for her car. As far as her father was concerned, she was going to spend some time with a friend. She didn’t have to tell him which friend, and technically it wasn’t lying since Liam could be considered just that.
Margot showed up just as the men were coming in from the pastures. She caught Caleb’s eye and wasn’t surprised to see the disdain coming from him. The others glanced at her with curiosity, but that was all. She leaned against the front of her car, waiting for Liam to make an appearance. When he didn’t, she wondered if he had already gone inside for the night.
But then his truck pulled up to the house.
Even through the glass, she could see the surprise written all over his face. The shock was quickly followed by a grin that made this whole trip worth it. Liam jumped out of his truck and hurried toward her, pulling her up and into his arms. “I didn’t know you were coming by. You said you got your work done earlier.”
She moved back just enough to get a good look at his face. “I needed to see you.”
Immediately, his brows pulled together, and he frowned.
“It’s nothing bad,” she insisted. “I just wanted to come and spend some time with you.” She nibbled on her lower lip and looked away as her face filled with heat. “You need to know how sorry I am for how I acted last time…” She couldn’t bring herself to finish the statement. It was more than embarrassing. She couldn’t rid herself of the guilt. Swallowing back the bile that rose in the back of her throat, she forced herself to look him in the eye. “I’m sure you’ve already had supper, so I wanted to see if you’d go for a walk with me—out to that field where I like to dance.”
The smile returned to his face, and he nodded. “Yeah, okay.”
“Yeah?” She couldn’t stop the excitement and relief from pouring out of her. “Really? You’re not mad?”
He grazed her cheek with his thumb. “I get it.”
Not likely, but she adored him for saying as much.
“I know it’s been hard for you coming back. I know that dealing with your dad can’t be easy, either. So…” he drawled, “I think it’s only fitting you get a pass.”
Warmth spread through her insides. She’d found one of the good ones, and this was all the proof she needed. She clutched at him, pulling herself tighter against him. “Thank you so much. You don’t know what that means to me.”
He rubbed her back, his fingers going up and down, sending fresh waves of goosebumps all over her body. Margot closed her eyes and released a heavy, relieved breath. They stood there like that for several minutes until the sun sank lower and the sky darkened with red and orange. When she finally pulled back, she realized she’d shed a few tears.
Liam’s worried frown tugged at her heart as he reached out to wipe them away, but she was quicker.
“Come on, let’s go. I want to teach you some moves.”
He snickered. “You realize I already know how to dance, right?”
She rolled her eyes as she all but dragged him in the direction she’d taken many times before. “This isn’t ballroom dance. This is different.”
He stopped, and in the process, it felt like she’d been yanked backward. She stumbled into his arms and let out a laugh.
“What?”
Liam stared down at her, those adoring eyes hiding something else that she couldn’t quite understand. Then all at once, that shadow passed, and his smile returned. “You’re not going to teach me ballet, are you?”
She lifted a shoulder. “Would that be so bad?”
He motioned to himself, and her eyes followed. He was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. His cowboy hat and muddy boots pulled the whole look together. Her heart hammered and her stomach knotted, but not because of her inner turmoil. This was the same feeling she got when he kissed her. Liam chuckled. “I’m not exactly dressed to be a ballerina.”
Margot tossed back her head with a wave of laughter. “They don’t call guys ballerinas.”
“Then what are they?”
“They’re just ballet dancers.” She tugged on his hand again. “And you don’t have to be dressed in a leotard to be a ballet dancer today. You just need to know how to lift.”
“Like Patrick Swayze in that one movie?” Liam made a face, to which she laughed again. Boy, it felt good to laugh again. She’d forgotten just how much she loved being in his company. How could she have let herself be so consumed with other stuff that she couldn’t see what was missing right in front of her?
Margot tugged him again. “Just come on. It’s going to be fun.” They got to the field, and she turned him to face her. Taking his hands, she placed them at her sides. The warmth from his touch practically seared her from the inside out. She shivered despite the warmth of the evening and lifted her eyes to meet his. “When you lift me, this is where you will want to keep your hands,” she whispered.
“Okay.”
She dipped down, and he followed her movements. “I’ll run to you and place my hands on your shoulders. That’s when you’ll hold me here while I jump upward. Use the momentum and lift me up in the air.”
One side of his mouth quirked upward.
“It’s not supposed to be funny,” she admonished.
“But it’s just like Patrick Swayze.”
She rolled her eyes. “Okay, you’re just like Patrick Swayze, then.” Margot stepped backward. It had been nearly a year since she’d done a lift like this, and usually, it had been with seasoned dancers. The exhilaration built as she positioned herself to get ready to run. She pushed off the ground and darted toward him. Just like she’d explained, she placed her hands on his shoulders, jumped, and he lifted her like she was lighter than air.
Her body utilized her muscle memory, and she pointed one toe while bringing the other foot into a retiré. Her arms stretched outward, and it felt like she was flying.
“Now what?” Liam’s voice broke into her reverie.
She glanced down at him, where he was grinning at her.
“Do I spin you around or something?” he asked.
“Something like that.” She smiled back. “Twist my waist around, and I’ll drop into your arms like you’re holding a baby.”
He was a natural. Everything he did was exactly right. And when she landed in his arms, all she could think about was how wrong her father had been. Their most recent argument, where he’d told her she was just using Liam until she found something better, had weighed on her, so much so that she’d found herself wondering why Liam even cared for her. Her father and Caleb would likely get along very well. Margot refused to accept she was using Liam. He was the one thing she could count on in her life to keep her sane. He made her happy. And that was all either of them needed.