Chapter 28
28
Bailey
T omorrow was Christmas Eve. It had been less than a week since Bailey had seen or heard from Carter. She didn’t know why she expected him to just show up on her doorstep. She’d told him to leave and not come back.
Anya knelt at the coffee table, coloring a picture while a fire roared in the hearth. The presents that Carter had wrapped were still under the tree, a blatant reminder of what was missing from her home.
Heart aching, Bailey turned away from the tree and glanced at the clock on the microwave. Emma had insisted on inviting them to the party. If Bailey wanted to take her up on the invitation, then she would need to leave in the next thirty minutes. She hadn’t told Anya about the party—her daughter, being the social butterfly she was, would beg for them to attend.
Bailey had weighed all the pros and cons in her mind, and then she’d done it again and again. She couldn’t come up with one reason not to go—except for the chance that Carter would be there. But from what she could tell, he was still out of town.
A sigh burst from her lips. No amount of letting out the harsh breaths was enough to ease the tension in her chest. She was still on edge, and it wasn’t even because he’d hurt her by lying about what he’d been doing with that guy.
What hurt the most was how much she missed him—how much she wanted to call him and tell him to come back so they could work things out. But then she’d remember that letter he’d written her, and she knew deep down he was done, too.
She shut her eyes against the embarrassment and the heartache that still racked her mind and soul. How could she have fallen for him so easily when he was clearly bad news? Hadn’t she promised herself that she wasn’t going to fall in love with any guy who was remotely similar to Jack?
“Mom?”
Her eyes flew open, and she found Anya staring at her with concern. “What, sweetie?”
“Are you thinking about Carter?”
Emotion burned in the back of Bailey’s throat, preventing her from speaking, so she shook her head with a forced smile.
“Are you sure? Because you’ve… been sad.” Her daughter was far too perceptive for her own good.
Bailey nodded. “I’m just tired, honey.”
Anya didn’t look convinced.
They desperately needed a change of subject. “We need to get ready to go.”
Her daughter’s expression immediately shifted. “We do?”
She nodded again. “Emma wanted us to come to their Christmas party.”
Anya jumped up from where she’d been working with a squeal of delight. “Really?”
“Yep. So go find your shoes. We don’t want to be late, now do we?”
Her daughter darted toward the front door where she’d kicked off her shoes for the day after church. While Bailey had told Emma she was going to be there, she hadn’t officially decided not to bail. Unfortunately, her self-preservation when it came to her daughter had kicked in. They were going to be at a party surrounded by people Carter had wronged. Maybe it wouldn’t be the end of the world to connect with others who could relate to the situation she’d found herself in.
The house was larger inside than the outside had made it look. Several people were wandering in and out of the rooms on the main floor, mingling with each other. Bailey had known that Carter came from a large family, and she was certain that only members of the Keagan household were in attendance. Still, there were nearly two dozen adults at the get-together, and she’d immediately regretted coming the second she stepped over the threshold.
Only a handful of children ran through the room. Most were toddler age, with a couple being a little older. Apparently, some were nieces and nephews from the older Keagan siblings.
Besides feeling too overcrowded, the house felt far homier than her own small residence. People laughed and joked around as they chatted with one another. A few people sent curious gazes in her direction, but no one openly asked her about Carter.
Bailey hugged the wall in the living room, hoping that no one would pay her any mind and she’d be able to slip out after Anya had her fill. She’d been handed a hot apple cider from someone she didn’t recognize soon after arriving, and she held it close to her as her eyes swept through the room.
Emma was a social butterfly—but then why wouldn’t she be? Her job depended on it. There were several other women who were loud and boisterous, comfortable in the lives they’d made for themselves. But there was one who sat quietly on the edge of a couch, her gaze clashing with Bailey’s far more frequently than to be a mistake.
Bailey turned her eyes to the ground. This had been a mistake. She shouldn’t have come here. Especially considering that these people knew Carter stole money to pay for things she’d needed. The whole situation was mortifying. She pushed against the wall to move toward the door when someone stood in her path.
“You’re Bailey, right?”
Her head snapped up and she found that familiar woman smiling at her. She was a quiet one—seeming to prefer people-watching to engaging. Her green eyes were bright and shrewd. Her blonde hair fell over her shoulder in waves. There was something Bailey sensed about her that made her feel as though this woman had been through the depths of fire and brimstone only to come out on top.
The woman held out her hand. “I’m Athena.”
If Bailey had been taking a sip of her drink, she would have choked on it. “The Goddess of war?”
Athena smiled. “That’s me.”
Bailey flushed. “I mean… that’s who you’re named after? Your parents must have been something else.”
Something brief and sad flickered in Athena’s eyes. “Actually, that’s the name I gave myself.” There was a story behind it, but Bailey knew better than to ask her. Athena gestured to the rest of the people mingling. “Why aren’t you getting to know everyone? I assure you, they don’t bite.”
The heat in Bailey’s cheeks intensified and her stomach churned. “I don’t—I’m not sure—” How was she supposed to tell Athena that she didn’t think these people would want much to do with her, save for Emma? She wasn’t even sure why Athena was trying to start up a conversation.
Athena’s smile was anything but judgmental. “It’s okay. I was shy at first, too. It’s hard to trust people when you barely know them.”
Her words hit a chord somewhere deep inside Bailey, but it wasn’t exactly what she’d been feeling. Rather than clarifying, Bailey took the out and nodded. “Yeah. It is.”
She turned and moved back so she stood by Bailey’s side. “This family is something else, huh?”
Bailey cut her a glance out of the corner of her eye.
“I mean, to be abandoned by your parents, only having your siblings to cling to for your survival? Henry says that they would have never made it if his older brother hadn’t stepped up. I can’t even imagine what that would have been like.”
“Me neither,” Bailey said.
“I was raised in the foster system. They’re lucky they didn’t get dragged into that situation, but then again…” Athena continued to chatter on about her story, but all Bailey could think about was how this family’s experiences had shaped their futures. Carter seemed to have taken everything a little harder than most—a thought she only assumed due to his issues with gambling.
“That’s why they don’t have alcohol in the house, “Athena finished up.
Bailey blinked and glanced at Athena. “They don’t?”
“Nope. Wade won’t allow it. He and Annabel had their own issues with substance abuse.” She cocked her head slightly. “Actually, if I remember right, a lot of them had to deal with one thing or another. But then I guess that makes sense. These days none of us is without our baggage, you know?”
“Yeah,” Bailey murmured again. Carter was surrounded by people who, for all intents and purposes, would have been able to understand him. It wouldn’t have made sense for them to shun him. Get angry or disappointed at his decisions? Of course. But she couldn’t imagine any of them kicking him out, which begged the question of why he’d shown up at her place almost a month ago.
Athena placed a hand on Bailey’s arm. “I’m going to get a snack from the kitchen. You want anything?”
Bailey shook her head, and Athena left. She’d just managed to get her breathing back under control when another young woman sidled up beside her. Bailey stared at the woman with surprise. She looked to be closer to Carter’s age, and there was definitely a strong family resemblance. She glanced at Bailey, then turned her focus to her family.
“Carter’s not a bad guy, you know.”
Bailey stiffened.
“He’s been dealt a bad hand, but I think he was doing better… before he left.”
Bailey cleared her throat. “I never said he was a bad person.”
“I know,” she said simply. She cocked her head, her eyes meeting Bailey’s again. “For what it’s worth, I think he really loves you.”
Loves. Not loved .
Bailey shifted her weight from one foot to the next and kept her eyes trained forward. “I loved him, too.” She couldn’t bring herself not to use the past tense form of the word. She didn’t know if she’d ever be able to trust him again.
The woman faced her, arms folded. “I’ve never seen him do anything so selfless as what he did for you. When he moved to the city, he was only thinking about himself. He refused to listen to any of us. But then he met you and… everything changed.”
The discomfort Bailey experienced shifted into embarrassment once more. She wanted to tell this woman that it was none of her business, but she couldn’t. The words were stuck in her throat, and nothing was going to release them.
She sighed, still staring hard at Bailey. “I’m not saying what he did was right, but I do think that if he were to come back and say he was going to change, then you should believe him.”
Bailey’s gaze shot to the young woman. “I was upfront about my rules. He agreed not to be involved in anything like he’d been before we met. It was his decision to go track down some stranger and offer to pay them money for who knows what!” Her words were sharp, and she hated just how much it hurt to say them out loud.
“So, you don’t believe in apologies and second chances? It’s not like he’s going out and doing something that risks his life or yours. It’s not like he’s blatantly telling you that he’s not going to change.” There was a little bit of an edge to her voice, which made Bailey wonder how close these two had been. Another sigh escaped the girl’s throat, and she shrugged. “I guess I just don’t think it’s fair that he lost so much, especially when he wanted to be better.”
“How do you know that?” Bailey asked as if against her own will. “That he wanted to be better?”
The look on this young woman’s face was dead serious. “Because I know my brother. I know that he wouldn’t have even come home if he didn’t at least want a piece of what he’d left behind. And there’s no way he would have even bothered with those letters if he hadn’t lost his heart to someone who made him happy.” She didn’t say another word. Instead, she moved away, leaving Bailey to wonder if she was right.
What would Bailey do if Carter showed up on her doorstep and asked for one more chance?
Her heart had only one answer.
Forgive him .