Chapter 19
Henry could see the distrust come back with full force, but that wasn’t what bothered him most. All of Athena’s cumulative experiences had made her who she was. He wasn’t trying to change her. That wasn’t what this was about.
Athena was great the way she was.
There were only a few things he wanted to do to make her life better. He could tell how much she loved working with Beast. He could see the connection they’d made, and it wasn’t like anything he’d ever seen before. Athena had a gift, and that gift could be used to do so much more.
If only she would acknowledge that she could be great in the arena. She could hold her head high and show everyone that it didn’t matter where a person came from; they had a family here in Copper Creek. He didn’t care what he had to do to convince her. He was going to help her see that she belonged here.
Not only did she belong here, but she belonged to someone. He’d gotten a little closer. In his email this morning, he’d gotten some information regarding a couple of children who had been misplaced around the same time that Athena had. There was a chance she had siblings.
Of course, he wasn’t going to tell her any of this. She would only be disappointed if it turned out that she had been an only child. But every time he caught her watching him with his brothers, he could sense something beneath the surface waiting to be set free. She still wanted that belonging. It was more than belonging to a town. It was belonging to someone else.
He couldn’t explain how he knew—he just did.
When they’d successfully gotten their food and slipped off to the barn, they snuck up into the loft to eat. He pulled out an old blanket for them to sit on, and they used a small lantern to light their little picnic.
Athena took her first bite and moaned with delight.
“You’ve had pizza before, haven’t you?” Henry laughed.
“Sure, everyone has had pizza,” Athena said absently. “But I can’t remember the last time I had fresh pizza. It’s always been day-old, cold, or tossed in the garbage.”
He made a face, one that caught her attention and made him feel guilty for not being able to control it.
“It wasn’t like I ate pizza straight out of the garbage can. I’m talking about the stuff that was left behind in pizza boxes.”
When he didn’t respond right away, she continued.
“That was only when I was desperate. And it only happened once… maybe twice.”
Henry continued to stare at her. The reality of what her life had been like over the last several years hit him hard. Even when food was scarce and he didn’t have clothes that fit right, they always had something.
Athena ducked her head. “You probably think that I—”
All at once, it was as if Henry had woken up from his stupor. He lunged forward and grasped her hand tightly. “What I think hasn’t changed.”
She studied him. Why should she believe him when he’d let her continue making excuses for a life she hadn’t chosen?
He squeezed her hand tighter. “I mean it, Athena. I know you have a hard time accepting what I see in you, but I wish you could. One day. One day I swear that you will be able to see the wonderful person I do.”
A faint smile graced her lips, but her eyes didn’t change. Those beautiful green eyes that could burn the world down or end a world war depending on her mood, still seemed so full of pain and uncertainty.
What did he have to do to help her see? Was Hudson right? Was it only a matter of time before she found a reason to leave him?
No. He wasn’t going to think about that right now. Just because she’d gotten upset about the whole dressage statement he’d made to Harley didn’t mean she’d hold it against him. That wasn’t who she was.
He lifted her hand to his lips and brushed a kiss on it. Her smile deepened, but she didn’t say anything more. Instead, she reached for another slice of pizza, and they continued their meal in silence.
* * *
Henry pusheda helmet into Athena’s hands. “The number one thing you need is headgear. It needs to fit right and be made of materials that the ASTM has approved for equestrian use.”
Athena stared at him blankly.
“What?” Henry asked. “Is there a problem with wearing a helmet? Because I’m not joking about that.”
“I just didn’t know you knew so many big words. Equestrian… how long did it take you to learn that one?”
Henry rolled his eyes. “Funny.”
A smile broke out on her face. “I thought so.”
He shook his head, though he felt warmed that she had gotten comfortable enough to poke fun at him. “If you violate that rule, you can be penalized or eliminated, so don’t forget it. Now, on to whips.”
“Whips?” She held up a hand. “I’m not touching one of those. Not even if it’s for show. Beast doesn’t need to be hit to do his job.”
Henry lifted a brow, but he knew better than to argue with her. She’d come to realize that the whips were only used as a way to define a request when riding. She’d more than likely communicate her needs via the way she was sitting in the saddle.
He folded his arms, looking at her firmly. “Whether you use it or not, I suggest that you take one. It has to have a certain amount of flexibility and it can’t exceed a certain length. You realize it’s not a whip that cracks the air, right? It’s more like a flexible rod with a soft lash at the end.”
Her demeanor shifted slightly, but still, she stood her ground. “I don’t want to use one if I don’t have to.”
“That’s fine. The one thing that’s optional are spurs—”
“Definitely not.”
He bit back a smile. “Noted. All right. Next, we’re on to the traditional outfit. Along with your hat, you’ll wear a dark-colored coat. A conservative blouse with a choker or tie, gloves, and britches.”
Athena held up a hand. “You’re telling me that everyone I’ve seen in those videos was forced to wear that stuff?”
“Yeah, why else would they be dressed the same?”
She snorted. “I thought they were all just really stuck-up rich people.”
Henry chuckled. “Sorry to disappoint. We’ve already gone over the dressage saddle and the type of bridle you need for dressage events, so we won’t go over that. The point of dressage is showcasing the physique and the talents of the horse you’re riding. Beast is going to have to show that he can be calm and flexible, but also confident and smart.” He grinned. “When he’s with you, I see all of that.”
“But how do I show that sort of thing? It’s not like I can tell the judges that he fits those requirements. We’re just going to be riding in circles.”
“Yes,” Henry said while nodding, “but it’s more than that. You can demonstrate those skills by showing off his freedom and the regularity of his pace. How smoothly does he move? It’s like a dance. All we need to do is choreograph it. As long as he can demonstrate those movements while accepting the bridle, then you’ll be golden. We need to work out any tenseness or resistance he might have.”
“That sounds like a lot to remember.”
“That’s not all.”
She sighed. “Oh, good. I thought this was going to be too easy.” Her sarcasm still amused him. He was able to see a lot more of her personality the more time they spent together. She lifted her eyes to his after having dropped them to the floor. “What else is there?”
He stepped forward and tapped her temple. “You have to do it all from memory.”
“From memory? They won’t tell me what to show them?”
Henry shook his head. “It’s a test. You will start on one end and showcase anything they’ll be looking for.”
She groaned. “I’m beginning to regret this decision.”
“Oh, and one more thing.”
“There’s more?”
“Don’t click your tongue or talk to him. You lose points that way. You just have to show what Beast is capable of with pressure from the way you’re riding or squeezing him with your legs.”
“And you seriously think I can do this?” The hesitancy in her voice said it all. She didn’t believe she could do it. That, or she didn’t know if he did.
He grazed her cheek with his thumb, trailing his touch down until he was gently cupping her chin in his hand. “I know you can. It feels like a lot. I get that. But we have time. We’ll work on technique first, and then we’ll move into the boring stuff like rules and regulations.” He made a face. “Because who really likes to have to follow rules?”
“That’s how you win.” Harley materialized behind him, causing Athena’s demeanor to completely shut down. She stiffened and her lips pressed together. While Athena would speak here or there about Beast, she didn’t engage in small talk with the others, and if she did, he wasn’t privy to it.
Harley nodded to the helmet. “So, you’re gonna do it, huh? Are you nervous?”
Athena shook her head.
“Good. Because I’m sure the animals can sense it, and by that, I mean the judges.” Harley snickered, glancing from one to the other. Athena’s flat expression said more than words ever could.
Henry chuckled. “But seriously, the judges can be sticklers. They see a thousand horses every season. If you want to win, you’re going to have to do the work.”
Harley nudged him with her elbow. “Who says she has to win?” She set her eyes on Athena and winked. “I say have fun. If it’s not fun, it isn’t worth it. That’s why I got this.” She pulled her collar to the side to show off a Carpe Diem tattoo she had just below her shoulder. These days she wore more T-shirts than she used to. Henry couldn’t tell if she’d finally settled down from the person Mason had described when he first met her, or if she was doing it to make Henry’s brother happy.
Mason was more reserved, which made their pairing that much stranger.
Athena glanced at the tattoo and then lifted her gaze to Harley. “I know I’ll have fun.”
“Then there’s nothing to worry about.” Harley grinned. She nodded to them both, releasing her T-shirt collar, then moved past them into the barn.
They both watched her disappear inside then Henry turned to Athena. “She’s right about one thing. I don’t want you to do this if you’re not going to have fun.”
It was small, nuanced, in fact. Athena’s eyes darted to his and for a millisecond he thought he could see some irritation hiding in the depths of the forests behind her gaze. Then just as quickly as it had appeared, it disappeared. She adjusted her hold on her helmet, turning her focus to it as she spoke. “I thought you wanted me to do this because it’d be good for me to get out of my comfort zone.”
“That too,” he hedged. “It’s always good to try new things. You’ve been doing that since you got here.”
“And what about you? Have you been trying anything new?”
He hated how much he was thrown off by her question. What was he doing to better himself? He couldn’t think of anything big. She was right. After all his insistence on making changes for the better, he hadn’t done much for himself.
“That’s what I thought.” Athena said it under her breath, but it was loud enough that he caught it. She didn’t even give him a chance to form a rebuttal as she immediately slipped into the barn and headed for Beast’s stall.