Chapter 12
12
Rachel
R achel shot up, a gasp tearing from her throat. Her heart was practically exploding from her chest. She clutched at her shirt, tugging it away from her body, but it didn’t help the feeling that there wasn’t enough oxygen in the room.
Darkness disoriented her to the point that she nearly darted from the bed where she sat. But then she heard his breathing.
It was rhythmic and steady. A soft snore filled the air, and Rachel turned her head in that direction. Faint moonlight shone on his face; all the hard lines had melted away. There was a certain amount of peace surrounding him that drew her in.
She swept her arms around her legs as she brought her knees to her chest and watched him. Out of everyone she’d met in Copper Creek, he’d been the one she hadn’t been able to figure out. He’d been so closed off, but little by little his defenses were coming down.
Much like her own were.
Rachel hadn’t meant to tell Hudson about her ownership of the property. She’d planned on keeping it a secret as long as possible.
Too late now.
She blamed the break-in. Her nerves were fried, but for some reason, Hudson made her feel safe . The longer she watched him, the more she wondered if something between them would ever work.
Hudson was a good man. He’d proven that day after day. Was he stubborn? Yes. But it was easily overlooked. He had a gentleness about him.
He took in a deep breath, then his eyes opened.
Rachel froze as he turned his head over to look in her direction. She could see the outline of his lashes when he blinked. Then he murmured in his soft voice, “You okay?”
She nodded, then rested her chin on her knees. It was sweet of him to ask her how she was feeling. He could have just as easily turned his attention to the window.
“You should probably get some more sleep. You’re going to have to talk to the sheriff tomorrow.”
“I’m not really tired,” she whispered. “Not anymore.” She didn’t know what time it was, but she had a feeling the sun wouldn’t be up for a couple more hours. “Can I ask you something?”
He grunted but said nothing more.
Regret immediately filled her. She’d known what she wanted to ask, but now she didn’t know if it was appropriate. Heat seared her cheeks, and not for the first time was she grateful for the darkness. “Why do you keep everyone at arm’s length?”
Hudson didn’t make any movements to indicate he was offended by her question.
Good. At least she hadn’t gone and put her foot in her mouth. She tightened her arms around her legs and waited for him to answer. A heavy question like that might need additional time to think things over.
He sighed and sat a little taller in his seat before he placed his rifle on the edge of the bed. “I don’t keep everyone at arm’s length.”
“Well, you’ve done a pretty good job at keeping me there.” She blurted her observation before she could control herself. Her blush intensified, and she buried her face in her knees. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, you’re right. I don’t let people in. But to be fair, I don’t think you’ve done a very good job at letting people in, either.”
A sharp laugh escaped her throat and she peered at him from where she sat. “I think you’re the first person who has ever said that to me.”
“Am I wrong?”
No. He was absolutely right. But she had good reason to keep things from people. Self-preservation and trust issues being some of the big ones. Slowly, she shook her head. “I suppose not.”
“How about we make a deal?” His husky voice sent a shiver down her spine, but even still, she hung on his every word. “You tell me yours, and I’ll tell you mine.”
Immediately she went on the defensive. Hadn’t she already told him something about herself that she wanted to keep secret? It was a big one, too. Anything else would be smaller—inconsequential. Surely, she could give him something if he was willing to do the same. “Okay,” she whispered. “But you have to go first.”
Even with the distance between them and the darkness, she could see his lips quirk upward. He didn’t smile much, but simply knowing that she’d triggered one gave her goosebumps. Hudson leaned back in his chair, hand behind his head. “You want to know why I don’t let people get close.” It wasn’t a question. And it didn’t appear as though he was going to shy away from it, either.
Her mouth went dry. She didn’t know why she wanted to know so badly. Maybe it was this feeling of camaraderie that had suddenly bloomed between them. Or it could be due to the unmistakable crush she’d developed for him. The room felt smaller, more intimate, which only added to the feelings swirling in her stomach.
“I’m sure Athena has told you about my parents.”
“She said your parents left you when you were kids.”
He nodded. “I don’t feel that I need to have more of an excuse than that. Abandonment carries one of the biggest scars a person can have.”
“It’s more than that, though. Your whole family starts off cautious with new people. But then they open up. You’re the only one who prefers to keep your distance. Even from your own siblings.”
He snorted. “That’s because nothing is guaranteed. They don’t seem to get that. Well, maybe Caleb did.”
“Your brother that left?”
Hudson didn’t move. He didn’t confirm that she was right. He looked toward the window and his voice carried more weight with it. “Nobody has to stay. It doesn’t matter if they promise, if they swear they’re going to stick around, or even if they have responsibilities to whoever depends on them. Anyone can leave at any time.”
“That’s… so sad.”
He huffed. “It’s reality. Unfortunately, there’s nothing we can do about it. I prefer to keep my distance because that means there’s less pain when those relationships fail.”
She could hear the brokenness in his tone. His scars ran deep. It wasn’t any wonder that he didn’t want to grow attached to anyone.
“By your silence, I gather you think I’m wrong,” he said.
“It doesn’t matter what I think.”
He tilted his head. If there was enough light, she imagined he’d be giving her one of those curious stares. Finally, he said, “Your turn.”
She rubbed her nose into her knees. “I’m sure you know about my family history through Athena.”
“Your parents passed away. You were adopted. She was abandoned.”
She stiffened. “That’s hardly fair. We were separated. They looked for her. No one connected the dots.”
“Yeah,” he huffed. “I doubt that. Someone somewhere knew that there was a little girl matching her description and never reported it to the right people.”
Rachel fought the anger that came with that statement. He wasn’t blaming her for what had happened. He wasn’t even upset with her. He was harboring his own issues, and they were colliding with what had happened in her life. “You might be right. But that’s not what I’m going to talk about. Those are Athena’s experiences. You wanted to know why I have secrets. You already know one of them.”
“Yeah… apparently, you’re wealthy .”
She swallowed hard. Just by the way he’d said that she wondered if this was a mistake. Money changed everything. People treated her differently when they knew she had money. It was one of the reasons that moving out to a town where no one knew her had been so attractive. “I am.”
“Like really wealthy.”
Rachel sighed. “Money isn’t everything.”
“You’re right.”
She stilled.
“But it sure doesn’t hurt to have,” he added.
Rachel frowned. “You want to know why I keep that secret? It’s because of this, right here. You’re judging me for something I didn’t have control over.”
He went quiet.
“The instant people find out about my family’s socioeconomic status, things change. Either they want something from me, or they want nothing to do with me. So, which is it? Which one are you?”
Still, he said nothing. She couldn’t tell if she’d offended him or just made him feel bad. Well, great. That wasn’t what she wanted at all.
Rachel sighed again. “I guess we both have reasons we don’t generally trust people, huh? We make quite a pair. You don’t want to get close to people because they’ll leave. I don’t want to get close to people because I’m scared they’ll use me.”
“Yeah,” he murmured. Then, after a while, he added, “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry,” she offered.
“If it makes any difference, I don’t care about your money. I think what you’re trying to do is admirable. If anything, it made me like you more. You were willing to put down roots for a project that you obviously cared about.”
It wasn’t much of a compliment, but it warmed her all the same. Rachel couldn’t hide the smile that touched her lips. “And you’re probably the most genuine person I’ve met this side of the Colorado River.”
That strange tension in the air returned. Electricity hummed in the air between them—words unspoken, thoughts left a mystery. There was still a lot she wanted to learn about him, but it was nice to pin down what it was he’d held against her for so long.
She grabbed the comforter and tossed it aside. “How about I get us some tea?” She swung her legs off the side of the bed, stood, and then gasped, not realizing just how quickly he could move.
In a matter of seconds, he’d bolted out of his seat and grabbed his rifle. Now he stood in front of her. They were only inches apart. She could smell the soap he’d used wafting off him. His warm breath brushed against her cheeks as he spoke. “You’re not going anywhere alone.”
“It’s just downstairs,” she murmured.
“I don’t care. Until we figure out who is doing this, I’m not leaving your side.”
She stared at him, stunned. “You… but what about your perimeter checks?”
“You can come with me, or we’ll get one of my brothers to do it.”
As much as she wanted to argue with him and insist that she was fine, she couldn’t. The trauma from a few hours ago still weighed heavy on her. A small part of her was thrilled that he insisted on these changes.
“Fine,” she mumbled. “I… trust you.” The words were easier to speak than she’d thought they’d be. She couldn’t say for sure that she felt that way about anyone else in her life—besides her parents and her sister.
Hudson continued gazing down at her, causing her fidgeting to worsen. She felt pinned in place by his stare. Her breath caught in her throat, unwilling to be released. There was a moment that passed between them when she really thought they might be capable of becoming more to each other than just friends… if that’s what they were.
But then he stepped back and the moment passed. They were too similar in the worst ways. Hudson gestured toward the door. “I’m going to go first to make sure no one broke in while we were up here. I didn’t hear anything, but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen. I suggest we go to town and get some floodlights ordered that turn on with motion.”
She nodded, throat dry, voice raspy. “Okay.”
With a sharp nod, Hudson stepped farther away. He opened the door and poked his head out first. Then he slipped into the hallway and down a few stairs before she followed him out and stood at the landing. He glanced up at her briefly, then disappeared around the corner toward the kitchen.