7. Dylan
7
DYLAN
T he airport was packed when I arrived, a vast array of travelers with families and luggage as far as the eye could see. I was the last of our group to arrive, but it wasn’t easy when Dad had the car for work and there was no other transportation around. I called a ride from my phone, but it took a while to arrive. Dad wouldn’t even realize I’d gone. Weeks since I got home, and he’d hardly said more than a few words in my direction. Not even to me , just my general vicinity.
I wouldn’t say it to the rest of my friends, but it was a relief to have something to do. Something to focus on that wasn’t getting the house back in order, or trying not to be heard in the house of silence. Normalcy could come to me a little earlier.
“‘Sup,” I said and took a seat next to Brad as I found them waiting at the gate. At least Shane had sent over the information, so I didn’t have to scramble for that, too.
He smiled, that bright look on his face like a dog who’d spotted his favorite treat. “I was wondering if you were going to miss the flight.”
If only he knew. I snorted and shrugged. “Makes it more exciting that way, doesn’t it? Kept you on your toes.”
Charlie looked at me anxiously from across the aisle. Which was sort of his default look, but even more than usual. “I’m glad you didn’t miss it, though…that would have been a disaster.” A flurry of emotions crossed his face, like he was thinking it through. Horrified at the very thought of inconveniencing anyone.
“Nah, I was never gonna miss it.” I sounded much more confident than I felt. Truthfully, I hadn’t been sure if I would, but I did, so it wasn’t worth worrying about.
Micah sat in Jason’s lap, and they were talking about something quiet, lost in each other’s orbit. Shane had already been in Rome for the past two weeks. Something about spending time with Alex. Or at least probably when Alex wasn’t busy with his internship. Shane had given us all an inventory of the accommodations we needed to get to and the plane and train rides. He was nothing if not thorough.
Maybe it was a me problem, but I couldn’t imagine being anywhere near that organized about anything.
“Do you realize…” Brad started, looking around like something was just dawning on him. “This is basically a couples trip…with the two of us as tagalongs?” There was an edge of amusement to his voice.
I raised my eyebrows. “Oh…huh. Shit.” I stared at the other four. Shane and Alex made six others, three couples. “So they’re going to ditch us, aren’t they? That’s what you’re saying. Ditching us to fuck or something.” Not that I could pretend to be surprised, given they ditched us half the time at parties for the same purpose.
Brad nodded. “No doubt about it. I think Micah and Jason are already halfway there.” He laughed.
Jason’s hand rested dangerously close to Micah’s ass, and I resisted the urge to do something to distract them. Maybe sing some ridiculous nursery rhyme to remind them kids could be around, watching them. It would probably go right over their heads anyway, and nothing could stop their horniness. One time, I ended up seeing more than I wanted to when I accidentally walked into Jason’s bedroom. It was scarring.
A flight attendant with a wide smile called our gate, and we all shuffled up together, making our way to the plane through the grey tunnel. The ride to Rome was something like 12 hours, so we were stuck for a long while. Planes didn’t bother me, even if I didn’t go on them often. It was kind of cool to lift up in the air like that, especially during lift-off and touch-down. Sort of like the anticipation on a roller coaster. Only, thankfully for the warier types, there was no plummeting. Well, not unless you were unlucky.
The usual shuffling and shifting later, and Brad urged me toward the window seat, taking the middle so I could see out. I smiled my thanks and curled up against the window as much as I could. Charlie sat on Brad’s other side and he already looked nervous. Well, more nervous.
“Baby, you okay?” Theo asked, sitting in the aisle seat opposite Charlie, next to Micah and Jason, who already looked like they were on the verge of being horny again. We needed to get the hose on them.
“Yeah…I’ll be fine after we’re in the air.” Charlie’s lips twitched like he was almost smiling, but not quite.
Not surprising, everything scared Charlie.
“You’re not scared, right?” Brad asked me, half laughing.
I scoffed. “Me? I’m the man of steel, nothing gets me down. Unless there are snakes on this plane…”
Brad laughed. After Theo and Shane went off somewhere else or ditched us, we’d hang out in his room and get stoned and watch terrible movies just to laugh. Not only when we got ditched, but we were ditched often.
“That’s what I figured. This’ll be cool, though. My parents weren’t so sure about me going, but there’s not that much they can do about it. The end of college only happens once,” Brad mused.
He leaned back, this pensive sort of look on his face as he thought about his parents and the trip coming up. His already sharp jaw looked even more defined from this angle. Dark locks of hair fell just into his eyes, framing the darkness of his eyes in a way that brought out their softness.
“You’ve been listening to Shane, I see.” My lips raised just slightly, thinking about how it must have been nice to have parents who cared enough to want you around for the summer. I doubted my dad heard me when I told him about going away for a couple of weeks. He just stared into his cup of coffee.
“Well, he has some points. Especially once you know, we figured out why he cares about this stuff as much as he does.” He ran a hand through his hair, brushing it off of his forehead.
Shane told us all about his overbearing mom at the end of the semester, how she regretted her life and ended up a single mom working all the time. Shane internalized it and fought to live a life without regrets, always thinking about the future and how to make the most of his time.
Charlie glanced in our direction. “Do you feel you’re all in…a stronger place now?” his voice was soft, like he didn’t want to imply that there was anything wrong with us.
Of course, I knew what he was referring to. A little while back, there had been a sort of rift that made itself apparent between all of us. Shane and Theo had a fight, and then Shane blew up at us because we didn’t give him the benefit of the doubt more. That was when he told us about his mom.
“Yeah, I think everything is good,” Brad said, flashing a quick smile.
Internally, I wondered, though. If the whole situation wasn’t just another moment to separate us, to make us realize how different we all were. There were fissures all over our friend group, little tiny cracks that could stretch and split wide open. At what point would we break? The end of this trip and next school year would either work to mend those cracks up or there wouldn’t be anything but dust left in their wake.
I stared out the window as we moved. It was a long flight, we had a long time to make ourselves comfortable. I shifted in my seat, watching as Los Angeles grew further and further away. As we passed over buildings and palm trees in the blink of an eye. It was like being a bird, and my lips curved as I watched out over the sight.
The sky was dark when I woke up again, prickled with little bright dots of light from the stars in the blackness. Only stars and clouds could be seen, this swirling mix of light and air. I hummed and turned to glance at the other guys. Brad looked down at his phone, not realizing I was awake. Some comedy movie played on the screen.
Charlie was invested in a book, a frown on his face as he flipped through page after page of the thick tome. Theo was passed out across the way, his body language sprawled out in a way that seemed almost too comfortable for a plane ride. Micah curled up against Jason, and I couldn’t tell from the angle if they were asleep or not.
I bumped Brad with my elbow. He glanced at me and pulled out his earphones. “Hi there, sleepyhead,” he said with a hint of a smile.
Something about the way he said that made me smile back, almost without even realizing it. “Hey…how long was I out?”
“A while. Your sleep schedule is going to be fucked up when we get there.”
“I can’t sleep well at home…” I trailed off, wondering idly what my dad was doing. “Otherwise I can sleep anywhere, y’know? So don’t be worried.” I always told people not to worry about me. That I was fine and nothing was wrong, but I knew Brad would worry, anyway. The thought of someone caring made something stir inside me, even if I couldn’t put words to why exactly.
Brad took my hand, squeezing. “That’s okay. I’ll stay up with you if you can’t sleep.” He offered me his other earphone.
There it was. The way he said it, that he somehow cared about the smallest thing, like if I was up or asleep when he didn’t have to. “You don’t need to,” I reminded him, putting his earphone in my ear. I had to shift a little closer, and I could feel the heat from his body against me.
Something stirred inside me, and I swallowed. It was comfort, and something else mixed in. There was a part of me that craved that closeness, and I didn’t know if it was because he was Brad, or if it was just that I missed human contact.
Brad moved closer too and smiled again, releasing my hand. “I want to.” He pressed play on the movie again.