Chapter 21
TWENTY-ONE
FREAKING OUT
Addison
I was folding the last tablecloth when I felt him behind me. It was bizarre how I didn’t have to look to know Beckett had entered the dining room.
He’d left an hour ago to take my grandmothers home so I could clean up from our dinner.
He’d offered, and they both agreed, so who was I to argue?
Although it was a strange feeling to not only be offered help but to accept it.
Being used to doing it all myself, I was at a loss when he’d thrown out the idea.
I set the tablecloth in the plastic bin and snapped it shut just as his arms snaked around my stomach. Letting out a contented sigh, I let myself fall into his embrace and closed my eyes. Exhaustion was creeping in, and Beckett’s arms felt too good.
“Today was amazing, baby girl,” he murmured against my neck, brushing a kiss beneath my ear. “But I’m not surprised. Everything you do is amazing.”
“Beckett,” I chastised, and I could feel his laugh across my skin.
“Don’t do that,” he hummed. “I know you can’t see it, but you’re like a light to everyone around you. Like sunshine wrapped up in a little pink package.”
His words settled in my chest, directly next to my heart, and I believed him. That he saw me that way, and it sounded so good.
Spinning in his arms, I flattened my hands against his chest and pushed up onto my toes to kiss him. We’d been apart for a few days, so my body was screaming at me to deepen the kiss.
But we couldn’t. Not in the middle of the dining room when my boss was still walking around, and residents were bound to wander in and out.
Pulling back, I glanced at the boxes over my shoulder. “Help me with these?”
“Of course.”
I took one box, and Beckett grabbed the other two. I led us down the hallway, into my office, and through to my supply closet. I shoved the boxes into their designated spot and wiped my hands on my pants.
When I stood, Beckett was leaning against my desk, arms crossed and staring at me with a little smile tilting his lips. It was almost like I could see the thoughts flitting behind his eyes.
I flicked off the light and closed the closet door behind me. One small step, and I stood in front of Beckett, worrying my lip between my teeth as I contemplated my next question. A question I’d been dying to ask since I saw him and Nana talking earlier this evening.
He reached forward and tugged my lower lip free, kissing it carefully before he pulled back way too quickly.
“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he instructed, and I crossed my arms over my chest, narrowing my eyes.
“What were you and Nana talking about? It looked like a tense conversation.”
“You,” he answered simply, and I tilted my head, silently requesting that he expand on his non-answer. Sighing, he ran his hands down my arms, and I dropped them to my sides so he could intertwine our fingers. “She voiced some of her concerns.”
I cringed, and an uneasy feeling unfolded in my gut. We were just getting to know each other, but I thought it was going pretty well so far. And what I didn’t need was Nana butting in. I knew she meant well, but she was hard-headed and didn’t hide her opinions.
They were admirable traits, but she also still saw me as a child sometimes. The scared five-year-old who just lost her parents, her best friends in the whole world, and couldn’t sleep in her own bed for a year. The child who woke up screaming because of the nightmares.
But I was a full-grown adult woman who was fiercely independent and knew what she wanted. Even if I wasn’t always the best at vocalizing it.
“I’m so sorry. I know she can be a little difficult, especially with her questions in the car earlier, but she means well.”
“I know, baby girl. I know,” he said, squeezing my hands. “That much is obvious. They love you a lot.”
“They do,” I agreed. “So, what exactly did she say?”
He chuckled and glanced down at our hands. That feeling in my gut shifted in the seconds it took him to respond.
“She was just expressing her concerns.”
“I need specifics. Please,” I urged. Not knowing exactly what they discussed was going to eat me alive.
His hazel eyes met mine again, and I swallowed thickly. There was only confidence behind them, and maybe the apprehension thick around us was just in my head. I hoped it was at least. I couldn’t even be worried about one of my coworkers walking through my open office door.
He dropped my hands to cup my cheeks, his thumb brushing over my skin.
“She told me how special you are, which we agreed on,” he said with a smile. “And that you deserve someone who wants the same things you do. Like marriage and children.”
My eyes widened, and I gaped up at Beckett, who didn’t seem fazed at all. Which was a wonder because I was reeling.
“Wait, wha—what?” I stuttered, shaking my head, but Beckett tightened his hold.
“I promise, it’s okay. I can see you beginning to freak, and—”
“How are you not freaking?!” I exclaimed a little too loudly.
I glanced quickly around Beckett to make sure no one had heard me, then continued in a quieter yet just as tense whisper.
“I can’t believe she would bring that up.
I mean, we only just started seeing each other.
We haven’t even had the talk about defining the relationship. ”
“Addison,” Beckett said quickly, but I just kept talking.
“Not saying this is a relationship, but you know what I mean. That’s just not where we are right now, and that’s okay. And I can’t—”
“Addison,” he said again, only firmer and with enough authority that I immediately stopped talking. “You don’t need to freak out,” he continued, his voice softer. He brushed my hair back and clasped my neck. His slightly cooler palms felt good against my extra warm skin.
I took a deep breath, which did little to help my racing heart and thoughts. But when Beckett spoke again, I was transfixed on his voice and his words.
“First, we don’t have to define our relationship until you feel ready, but I want you to know, you are the only woman in my life. I won’t be sleeping with or dating anyone else. You have my full attention.”
“Good to know,” I muttered absent-mindedly. I felt like I should say something more, but my thoughts were scrambled. It wasn’t easy to think straight when a beautiful man was touching you and telling you all the things you’ve always wanted to hear.
“Second, I plan on winning over your grandmothers. Nana will love me, because she’s going to see how crazy I am for her granddaughter and how pure my intentions are.”
“That should help.” He smiled and kissed me softly. “Is there a third?”
He nodded, eyes bouncing from mine to my lips and back again. Every breath I inhaled was all him, and every exhale felt easier than the last.
“Third, I understand why Nana brought it up. She doesn’t want you to invest time and energy into something that doesn’t have the same end goals. But marriage and kids are also things I imagined for my life, so if you also want that, then there’s no issue there.”
“Eventually,” I muttered. “I want those things eventually. Not anytime soon. I just turned twenty-three.”
He smiled down at me, and I got a glimpse of his dimple hidden behind the dark scruff along his jaw. “Eventually,” he agreed. “And until then, all I want to do is get to know you better.”
In a matter of a minute, Beckett had assuaged all my concerns, all my doubts. And I knew he’d eventually do the same with Nana.