Chapter 44
FORTY-FOUR
VERY SNEAKY
Beckett
Walking into the offices of Grant Events, I waved to the receptionist, who was busy on the phone, and strode down the hallway directly to Addison’s office.
I was technically there to discuss final preparations with Caroline about the Crawford Law anniversary party in just two days, but I couldn’t miss an opportunity to see my perfect girl.
Life had been tricky lately. Individually, Addison and I both had things going on, which made it more difficult to connect. We were almost four months into their year, yet it had felt like a lifetime.
We’d finally confronted Bill about his stealing from the company, and it had gone just as I’d expected.
He’d yelled and accused me and Andrew of setting him up.
Then he’d thrown a stapler across the room and a couple of markers sitting on the ledge of the whiteboard.
He was fucking irate. And it wasn’t until my dad got involved that he calmed down enough that the building security was able to escort him out.
Now, we just had to pursue legal action, which no one was excited about.
We’d just finished up a meeting with our corporate attorneys to discuss how to proceed, but none of us wanted to mess up the anniversary party.
We couldn’t wait, though, and it turned out Bill would likely be arrested the same day we were celebrating thirty years in business.
A business he tried and still could ultimately drive into the ground. Recouping a million dollars was tricky.
But as much as I was worried about the health of our company, I was more concerned about Addison.
Nana’s health had continued to decline. She’d gone from utilizing a walker to a wheelchair sometimes to now using the wheelchair almost all the time. She struggled to get around and was in so much pain that most medications were no longer helpful.
I’d gone with Addison to her most recent doctor’s appointment the week before, giving Mary a much-needed break, and they were prepared to write her a prescription for an opioid pain patch.
While she was speaking with Nana and Addison, I’d seen it on the doctor’s face—Nana was running out of options.
And as expected, Addison wasn’t taking it well.
Watching the woman who raised her, who cared for her through the most difficult moments of her life, be in so much pain and not be able to do anything about it.
It was driving her mad. She told me she felt helpless and discouraged and that she wished she could do anything to take it away.
I wished I could do the same. Take away both Helen and Addison’s pain.
It was torture. Pure, unadulterated torture to watch someone I cared so deeply for suffer.
Juggling the hot chocolate I knew she loved from the café down the street in one hand and shoving my phone into my pocket with the other, I tapped on her office door before pushing it open.
Addison looked up from her desk, but the smile I was used to seeing didn’t meet her eyes and barely graced her lips.
I stepped inside her office and closed the door behind me. Luckily, her officemates were gone.
“Hey, baby girl,” I offered, but all I received in return was another barely there smile.
Her freshly dyed light pink hair was pulled back out of her face, and she was cradled in a soft, beige sweater that covered her hands. Her eyes followed me as I approached her desk, setting the hot chocolate on the edge, and rounding it until I was next to her chair.
She let me spin her around to face me, and I stooped so we were eye level.
There was something I couldn’t discern behind her eyes, and I braced myself. “What’s wrong, Bubbles?” I asked.
I rested my hands on her thighs, and she sighed, sliding her hands over my own. Her green eyes bounced between mine, and I didn’t breathe once while I waited for her to speak.
“I’m going to ask you a question, and I need you to be honest with me, please.”
Automatically, I nodded, and she tilted her head to the side.
“Are you paying for Nana’s nurse, Mary?”
“Yes.”
I knew this day would come eventually, and I wasn’t going to lie now.
The moment I’d hired Mary, I realized I’d have to tell Addison, or she’d find out.
Insurance was a dead end, and they didn’t have time to go through the bureaucratic bullshit.
Nana needed help—Addison needed help—and I was going to do everything in my power to make it happen.
I just hoped she wouldn’t resent me when she figured it out.
She sighed and leaned back in her chair, letting her head fall back against the cushion and her hands scrub across her face. “Beckett,” she groaned, and I shifted closer, squeezing her thighs and imploring her to look back at me.
When she didn’t, I reached forward and grasped her cheek, running my thumb over it, and cleared my throat. “Baby girl, look at me. Let me explain.”
With a deep breath, she dragged her eyes back to me, and I’d never seen her so unexpressive. Her lips were set in a straight line, and her stare was unforgiving.
It was kind of unsettling.
“I researched the insurance option and followed that road as far as it would go. But there wasn’t much help they could offer.
It was the same run-around they gave you, so I hired Mary.
And yes, I’ve been paying her out-of-pocket.
She was the solution to a problem I knew I could fix. That I had to fix.”
“But you lied to me about it.”
“I didn’t lie,” I said, shaking my head. “I just…didn’t tell you.”
She scoffed and tossed her hands in the air. I dropped my hand from against her cheek and rested it on her waist. “That’s semantics, Beckett. You lied by omission. You should have told me.”
“And if I had?” I argued. “What would you have done?”
“You’re acting like you know me so well, like you know exactly how I would’ve reacted, but that’s not true. Not telling me was worse.”
“But I do know you so well, baby girl. I know you so well, and I know that’s scary, but that’s the truth.”
She sat quietly, and I noticed the tears gathering in her eyes. Still wearing a suit, it was a little awkward to shift onto my knees, but I did it anyway, tugging her chair closer. She widened her legs enough to allow me to sit between them, and I took that as a good sign.
“It was never my intention to lie to you,” I said. “I just knew you weren’t keen on my help, but you needed it all the same. I promise I tried the insurance route first, but when it didn’t happen, I went to plan B.”
“To pay for it yourself after I explicitly asked you not to?”
“Yes,” I said simply.
For a long moment, probably the longest moment of my life, Addison watched me. Her eyes raked over my face, and I prayed those tears still welling in her eyes wouldn’t fall. She took a deep breath and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.
“I wish you would’ve told me, but I understand why you didn’t. I just—I know I don’t talk about my previous relationship a lot, but I dealt with a lot, a lot, of lying and deception, and I can’t do it again. He lied so often that I never believed him. I was paranoid all the time.”
Fuck. I’d really fucked up. No matter what, I’d never want to remind her of Owen. He didn’t deserve to take up any more real estate in her head.
“Shit, baby girl, that’s not—”
“I know,” she said quickly. “I know that wasn’t your intention, but that was just my first thought when I found out.”
Dropping my eyes, I dragged my hands back down her thighs while I considered my next words and the apology that was poised on my tongue.
“But,” she began, and I peered back up at her.
Her hands covered mine where they rested over her knees, and a small, tentative smile graced her lips.
“There’s a big difference between Owen lying to be intentionally deceptive and hiding things from me he knew would hurt me, and you keeping something to yourself because you’re doing a good thing. ”
Relief flooded through me, and I stood, tugging her up out of her chair and into my arms. She let out a short laugh and returned my embrace, nudging her face against my chest and taking a deep breath.
“I’m sorry, baby girl.”
“I know, and I really do appreciate you paying for Mary for this long. I’m not sure what I would have done without her. I probably would have had to move back in with them.”
Leaning back, I peered down at her and pushed her hair over her shoulders. I clasped her cheeks and ran my thumb against her skin.
“I only ever want to make your life better and easier.”
Finally, her smile was genuine. Her green eyes lit up, and some of the concern clouding them had dissipated. But it wasn’t completely gone.
“You do,” she agreed. “But I need you to know that I don’t need somebody to save me.” My stomach twisted at the sincerity and pain in her voice. “You make my life better and easier, but I don’t need a savior. I don’t need you to save me, but I love how safe you make me feel.”
Fuck, I knew that. My strong, confident woman didn’t need me to rescue her. She didn’t need me at all.
“You’re always safe with me, baby girl. And never once did I believe you needed saving. If anything, you’ve saved me.”
She scoffed a disbelieving chuckle and screwed up her brows. Her hands covered mine, still steadfast against her cheeks.
“Saved you? From what?”
“From a lonely, miserable, Addison-less existence.”
She tossed her head back and laughed, and my smile widened with the lifting tension.
“Whatever you say,” she mused. “We’re just a really fun pair, I guess. Mr. Fix-It and Ms. Has-a-Hard-Time-Accepting-Help. A match made in heaven.”
I knew she was joking. Our tendencies didn’t make that part of our relationship simple or easy. But in my opinion, we were a match made in fucking heaven.
Leaning forward, I kissed her hard. I swiped my tongue against her lips, and she yielded instantly, parting her mouth and letting my tongue sweep against hers. Her fingers wrapped around my jacket, and a small sound of contentment vibrated against my tongue.
One of my hands stayed against her cheek, directing the kiss as I saw fit, while the other slipped down her side. She sucked in a shaky breath when I brushed against the side of her breasts then released it in a satisfied exhale when I palmed her ass.
“Perfect match or not,” I whispered against her lips, “you’re my version of heaven and the closest to it I’ll ever be.”
“Fuck, Beckett. You can’t say stuff like that,” she groaned.
I pulled back with a laugh and one more soft kiss. “What do you mean?”
She sucked in a breath and shook her head. She flattened her hands against my chest and tilted her head back to maintain eye contact.
“Because I’ve already fallen for you. But when you say stuff like that, it just pulls me in deeper.”
God, I’d fallen for her, too, and I was about to tell her as much when there was a knock on the door. Ripped from the moment, we reluctantly stepped apart as someone pushed it open.
“Sorry, Caroline is ready for you both whenever.”
“Oh, awesome. Thanks so much,” Addison said, and the woman quickly left, closing the door behind her. “Guess we should head to her office then.” She closed her laptop and unplugged it from the monitors before she grabbed the notebook she always brought with her, too.
While she gathered her supplies and the hot chocolate I’d brought, I tried to calm my raging erection.
I closed my eyes and thought about anything and everything I could to make it go down a little quicker.
But she was still in the room with her sweet scent curling around me, so it was hopeless. It wasn’t going to disappear entirely.
“Ready?” Addison asked, and I opened my eyes to see her knowing, mischievous smile.
“Almost, and actually—how did you figure out I was paying Mary?”
She held her belongings against her chest, and I wasn’t prepared for the sullen expression that passed over her features.
“I had to call the insurance company about the opioid patches and the possibility of…” Her words trailed off, and she glanced to her right, out the window overlooking a small courtyard and the gloomy day.
She took a deep breath and straightened, like she was fortifying herself.
“We talked about the possibility of hospice, so I needed some more information. When they didn’t know anything about Mary, the pieces fit together pretty easily. ”
“Addison—” I started, reaching for her, but she quickly shook her head.
“I can’t talk about it right now,” she said quietly. “If I talk about it, I’m going to lose it, and I already spent all morning trying to get it together. We can talk about it later. Okay?”
My heart constricted at the pain in her voice and the gravity of her words. I couldn’t believe they were already there. Wasn’t there more that could be done?
But none of that mattered in that moment.
Clenching my fists, I shoved them in the pockets of my slacks and nodded once. Whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted it, she’d get it. I’d be there when she needed to talk or for any comfort I could provide.
It may not be enough, but I’d do my best.