Chapter 50
FIFTY
OH, CRAP. YES!
Addison
The salty breeze was warm against my cheeks and thoroughly filled my lungs as I took a deep breath.
I braced my hands on the balcony of the beach house Beckett rented and peered over the never-ending expanse of water in front of me. It was so blue and clear at the shore, lapping at the white sand beaches in a trance-like rhythm. It went on forever.
Pictures and videos didn’t do it justice. They were nothing compared to the smell and sound and awe of the ocean. I understood why my parents were drawn to it. Why they loved being by the water.
Standing on the second-story balcony, I peered out over the water and watched, for the first time in my life, the sun dip below the horizon.
Pinks and oranges painted the sky, and it was such a breathtaking view, I couldn’t tear my eyes from it.
I couldn’t believe that it had taken me almost twenty-four years to see it for the first time.
The past six months had been hard. And also, some of the best of my life. It was strange how that was possible.
I missed Nana every day. There was a hole in my chest big enough that it still ached often. I couldn’t imagine a day when it wouldn’t. And when it hurt more than I could bear, I reread her letter. Seeing her scrawl and hearing her sass again, even if it wasn’t directly from her mouth, was soothing.
It was a gentle reminder of what she hoped for me after she was gone. She’d made me swear to live life to the fullest and stop worrying about everyone else. She literally wrote the words “be more selfish or I’ll haunt you from the grave,” so how was I supposed to argue with that?
So, I’d tried my very best to abide by her final wish for me. I’d gone from full-time at Lake Hills to only helping out with important events and planning every once in a while. Meanwhile, Caroline had promoted me to a senior event planner, and I was handling my own weddings without her oversight.
I didn’t need the additional income anymore, just like Grams didn’t need my additional help.
I still stopped in often to hang out with her and make sure she was doing well, and she was.
She was still living in their house but had joined a book club and had begun selling her baked goods at a local farmer’s market on the weekends.
I still caught her with red eyes and emotion thick in her throat, but she was doing as well as could be expected. She missed her partner, her wife, but life didn’t stop. At least that’s what she told me.
And even though it felt like it might for the first week or two, we all found a way.
Beckett had been essential in that process. He’d never once wavered and had been steadfast by my side the entire time. Even when it hurt to get out of bed or when I felt like my heart might literally give out. Or when he had his own business issues to deal with.
He never gave up on me, and we were so much better for it. I couldn’t imagine my life without him because it was so much better with him in it. So much better, in fact, I’d taken him up on his offer to move in a month ago.
We barely spent a night apart anyway, so really, it just made sense.
And when I’d agreed, hell, I’d never seen him so giddy. The next day, when I’d woken up, he’d already cleared space in his closet and a few drawers in his dresser.
We’d moved my stuff over during the course of a week, and since then, Beckett had given me free rein over the place to add whatever touches I wanted.
It had gone from beige and sparse to lively and full of color.
He’d even held Oli once and no longer cringed when he walked past his enclosure I’d set up in my craft room, which doubled as our guest bedroom.
To be honest, life was pretty perfect, and it was only made better by the vacation Beckett had planned. It was the first time we’d gotten away since our New Year’s weekend, and I think we both wanted a change of scenery.
And Beckett said he wasn’t going to let me go another day without seeing the ocean.
“Better than you imagined, baby girl?” His voice was low in my ear, and I felt his warmth behind me. His hands dropped next to mine on the railing, and I tilted my head to the side to give him better access to my neck. He dropped sweet, gentle kisses down my birthmark and hummed against my skin.
“So much better,” I admitted. “Thank you so much for bringing me here.”
“Of course, Bubbles. Anything for you. Literally anything.”
“Anything?” I asked with a mischievous lilt in my voice.
A laugh vibrated through him, and I dropped my head back on his chest as he wrapped me in his arms. “Anything. There isn’t a damn thing in this world I wouldn’t do for you.”
“I’ll have to come up with something good then. Try to test your limits.”
“Test my limits, then. I’ll still want to marry you.”
All the air escaped my lungs, and I straightened as he stepped backward. I whirled around and was more stunned than the view of the ocean at what I found behind me.
In his hands, Beckett held the most beautiful ring.
It was a solitary oval sapphire with a gold band cushioned inside a little black box.
All thoughts vanished in an instant except “Oh, shit. Oh, shit,” which I so eloquently repeated over and over again.
Even as he dropped to one knee before me and held out the damn ring.
“Honestly, I’ve forgotten what I planned to say, so I’m just going to speak from the heart,” he said.
“I love you so fucking much. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and all I want to do is spend every day of my life with you and hopefully make you as happy as you make me. I never thought I’d find a love like this.
One that grows and evolves and lights the way in whatever darkness we find ourselves in.
Somehow, you’re mine, Addison Wren Hawkins, which is more than enough, and yet, I still want forever with you. So, will you marry me?”
I was nodding and crying before he could stand, and when he did, I leapt into his arms and nearly knocked him over. But he caught me like he always did in such a tight, loving embrace, and I never wanted it to end.
Leaning back, I peered into his hazel eyes and was shocked to find Beckett was crying, too. But there was only happiness in his eyes and joy radiating from his smile. And I had to taste it on his lips as badly as I needed my next breath.
I brushed my fingers through his hair and tugged his head back before I slammed my mouth down on his. But he only let me lead the kiss for a moment until he took control and I yielded to him. Like I always did. Like I craved to do.
It went on for a long minute, our tongues tangling and tasting my fiancé for the first time. Holy shit, we were getting married.
Eventually, I slid back down him, and he helped me steady myself on wobbly legs.
“I love that reaction, baby girl, but I’m going to need to hear you say it.”
I was confused by what he was saying until I realized I’d skipped over my actual, verbal answer and just gone straight into his arms.
“Oh, crap. Yes, Beckett, of course I’ll marry you.”
My cheeks hurt from smiling so much, and my hands were shaking as he grasped my left and slid the ring on my finger. It was perfect, he was perfect. After so much hurt and pain, my heart was struggling with the pure joy pumping through it.
“It’s such a relief to hear you say that,” he muttered, staring down at the ring, then back up at me.
“What do you mean? There was no chance in hell I ever would’ve said no.”
“Sure, but until you actually ask the question, you never truly know what the answer is.”
Smoothing my hands down his blue linen shirt, I stepped closer to him and tilted my head back to stare directly into his eyes. His own hands found my hips, and I licked my lips, preparing to pour my heart out to the man who’d just done the same for me.
“I love you so much,” I began and had to take a breath to hold back tears.
I laughed at my own nonsense but trudged on.
“This year has been so hard but also so beautiful. Caroline was telling me the other day how I’d handled everything so well, but I’m not entirely sure about that.
I think you just held me so tightly that I couldn’t fall apart.
You kept me standing when I wanted to do nothing more than crumple to the ground.
I might be yours, but somehow, you’re mine, too, and I’m so thankful for you every day.
And I can’t wait to spend our forever together. ”
By the time I was done, we were both crying. But through the tears, he cupped my cheeks and pressed our lips together. It was the best kiss I ever had. It was better than our first, and I knew it’d be hard to beat because in it, I could feel our entire future.