Chapter Fifty
August 4, 2022
Dear Jensen,
Did I ever tell you why I was so hurt when you enlisted? It wasn’t that you dumped me, it wasn’t even that you joined the military. I would’ve never been mad at you for that, I would have supported you no matter what you chose to do. I would have written, sent care packages, or done anything you needed from me. It was the fact you abandoned me that hurt so much.
You gave no indication that you weren’t happy in our relationship or in your personal life, and then one day you just disappeared. I thought you just needed some space, but then I went looking for you—I searched everywhere. I started to panic when the days turned into weeks with no sign of you anywhere. I was about to report you as a missing person when Wyhtt found me at the beach house. He probably thought I had gone insane: pounding on the door, looking through windows, hair a mess from the storm that was rolling in…
It was Wyhtt who told me you enlisted and had already left for training and would be getting orders to be stationed gods knows where. He thought I knew. Neither of us could understand why you didn’t just tell me.
Honestly, I still don’t understand.
The moment he told me you were gone, I felt like I never once mattered to you—not just because you broke up with me—but because you didn’t stop once to even think. You didn’t seem to question how your actions would affect me, or at least that is how it felt at the time. You weren’t just my boyfriend, you were my best friend, my oldest friend. You were my comfort, my secret keeper, my protector—the person I ran to when the rest of the world felt too heavy. I thought I had been that person for you too, but after that day I questioned everything.
I hope you’re okay…
I miss you.
Next letter in September.
With all my love,
Your Serenity