Chapter 21
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
FIONA
Awhimper startles me awake. I look around in the darkness, blinking rapidly as I wait for my eyes to adjust. I’m snuggled against someone very warm.
Brantley.
He’s snoring softly, his chest rising and falling rhythmically. I turn to my other side, careful not to wake him, but the sheet next to me is cold and empty.
I must’ve fallen asleep during the second movie because my laptop is closed and sitting on the nightstand. But where the heck is Seb? I hear the whimper again, but this time it’s louder.
“Stop. Please.” Sebastian’s voice is coming from the floor, and I lean over the bed to find him curled into a ball in nothing but his boxers. A blanket is balled up at his side, and his limbs are twitching. “No! Stop!”
B sits up suddenly. “What?”
“I think Sebastian’s having a nightmare,” I whisper.
“Where is he?” B rubs his eyes and pushes hair from his forehead.
“The idiot made a bed on the floor.”
B sighs and climbs over me, his erection grazing my hip bone. I suspect it’s unintentional since he just woke up, but it affects me all the same.
“Bastian,” Brantley calls, leaning over to shake his shoulder gently. Sebastian whimpers again, and his shoulders start to shake. “Shit.”
“What is it?”
“He’s crying,” B replies softly. He climbs out of bed and sits cross-legged on the floor next to Seb, running his fingers through his hair. “Hey, bud, wake up. I’m here. We’re here.”
Sebastian jerks and pushes his face into B’s thigh, a sob wracking his body. “Michaels?” he croaks, his voice shaking.
“Yeah.”
Seb peers up at him and rubs his face quickly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
B sighs and climbs back into bed. “Don’t be stupid. C’mere.”
Seb looks up at him, his eyes glistening in the dim light. At first, I’m sure he’s going to protest, but then he stands with a sniff and scoots in next to B. I slide over to make room, and we all settle back under the comforter.
After a minute, B asks, “Do you want to talk about it?” His words hang heavily in the air.
“No, not yet. But I want to forget.” Seb’s gravelly voice has a desperate edge to it. B glances at me, and I nod.
“Can I…?” B whispers, asking for consent.
Seb nods quickly, his eyes squeezing closed. “I just need…something. Normally, I distract myself by…you know.”
My heart breaks at how embarrassed he sounds.
“I can—” I start, but Seb shakes his head quickly.
“It has to be him. I can’t explain it right now.”
I nod and lie back, watching in fascination as B pulls down the covers down and reaches for Seb’s growing cock with a shaky hand.
Seb lets out a gasp at the contact, and B freezes. “Should I…”
“Keep going,” Seb says through gritted teeth, and B nods, rubbing Seb through the tight fabric of his boxers.
The sight is insanely arousing.
After a few good pumps, B pulls Seb’s underwear over his ass and down his thighs, letting them pool around Seb’s knees. Then he cups his balls with one hand and spits into the other before placing it over Seb’s dick and giving a long tug.
Seb groans, looking like he’s in pain. B glances at me nervously, and I give him an encouraging nod because I trust that Seb would ask him to stop.
After a few smooth strokes, the tension seems to leave Seb’s body, and his erection grows thicker and harder, and he starts to thrust into Brantley’s fist.
My entire pussy tingles. “Shit.” I place my fingers on my clit and give it a firm rub.
A moan crawls up my throat, and the guys turn to look at me.
Sweat drips down B’s temples, and Seb’s hooded eyes watch my hand.
When he smiles, I take it as consent to continue, rubbing myself in tight circles as Sebastian falls apart under Brantley’s ministrations.
“I’m getting close,” Seb says.
“Not yet, baby,” B purrs, slowing his hand, and fuck if I don’t almost come.
Seb throws his head back into the pillow. “I’m not sure I can take edging right now, Michaels.”
I smile at Seb’s warning tone.
“You said I should make you forget and that’s exactly what I plan to do.” B stops his stroking and runs his hands along the insides of Seb’s thighs, making him shiver. “Spread for me,” B whispers huskily.
Seb tenses, the ridges of his abs tightening, but he tentatively opens his legs.
B sucks one of his pointer fingers into his mouth while Seb watches him warily.
Then, Brantley leans forward and slides the wet digit slowly between Seb’s ass cheeks.
Seb squeezes his eyes shut again and releases a shaky sigh.
He spreads his legs wider, and B thrusts his finger past Seb’s rim, pushing up to the knuckle.
He resumes stroking Seb’s thick cock with the other hand.
B makes a movement with his finger, and Seb’s back arches off the bed. He makes what can only be described as a keening noise, his body writhing.
I can’t take it. Pleasure explodes between my legs and lights up every nerve in my body.
I moan, rubbing my clit rapidly. Sebastian moans at the same time, and my eyes fly open, connecting with his electric blues before they roll back in his head and string after string of cum splashes onto his chest and abs.
We both collapse, our breaths loud and harsh in the ensuing silence. B settles between us, grumbling about blue balls, and I chuckle.
Sebastian pulls his boxers back up and folds an arm behind his head. He doesn’t seem panicked like I might expect. Instead he seems relaxed as he stares at the ceiling. We lie still, listening to the wind outside, the odd crow call, and our own heartbeats. It’s a peaceful soundtrack.
“How much do you guys know about Matt Johnson?” Sebastian asks suddenly.
I shift to one elbow so I can look at him. “He’s Charlie’s creepy ex, and he did horrible stuff to her mother,” I say. “Charlie told me most of the gory details.”
B glances at Seb. “He was my teammate in college and pretty much a sociopath on the ice. And obviously, we know he was arrested after the incident between you guys at the theater when Link got shot.”
I feel more than see Seb nod.
“He was my best friend for most of my childhood. We were inseparable.” He swallows.
“I always felt like something was off about him, but I thought it was because of his dad’s abuse, and it made me want to help him.
His dad was a toxic asshole, and he hit Matt a lot.
Matt tried to hide it from me and Charlie, of course, but sometimes the bruises were obvious.
He got super defensive if we brought it up. ”
“Why are you telling us this?” B asks.
“The night that I caught him with my stepmom—Charlie’s mom—something happened.”
“Does this have to do with your nightmares?” B asks.
I look over at Seb. “This has happened before?”
“I’ve actually had fewer since I’ve been here,” Seb says quietly. “They normally happen when I sleep alone.” Even with B nestled between us, I feel Seb’s shiver. “I’m used to them now, I guess. Though sometimes they’re more vivid than others.”
“Wait,” I say. “You’ve been having nightmares that long? Weren’t you still in high school when that happened?”
He clears his throat. “The year after high school, actually.”
“Fuck,” I whisper.
He draws in a shaky breath. “Anyway, I was so shocked and betrayed the night I caught him. I was appalled that Matt had cheated on my stepsister by raping my stepmother. There was so much grossly wrong with the whole situation, and we got into a physical fight over it.” His voice falters, and he takes a deep breath.
“I caught him off guard at first, so I had the upper hand, but Matt was a hockey player, and he was a lot bigger than me, even though he was younger. He…pinned me down and choked me. I was so weak when he finally let me breathe that I was disoriented.” Sebastian’s voice is thick like he’s holding back tears. “Then, he raped me.”
“What?!” B and I say together.
I sit taller, shock and disgust slithering through my body like ice water.
“It didn’t last that long, but it felt like forever,” Seb says around a sob, turning his body away from us.
“He just forced it in and out a few times before I finally managed to push him away. Then, he left.” His shoulders are shaking, and I climb off my side of the bed and walk around to crouch in front of him, cradling his cheek in my hand.
He looks at me with fearful, wet eyes. “Seb,” I whisper.
“I was so ashamed,” he continues, and my heart breaks with every word.
“The dreams started after that, and they trigger these awful intrusive thoughts, but I feel like I can control them if I… touch myself afterwards. I don’t know why, but it keeps my mind from reliving what happened.
” His voice cracks. “I read about people being hypersexual because of sexual trauma, and I think this is my version. Sex doesn’t interest me much, but I have no problems alleviating the memories myself… or apparently with Michaels’s help.”
“Do Charlie and Marcus know?” I ask.
Seb quickly shakes his head. “I’ve never told anyone. But it messed me up so bad. I haven’t been able to be properly intimate with anyone for so long. I’m broken. Add my demisexuality on top of that, and who would want me? It scares the shit out of me.”
Brantley pulls Seb against him. “You’re not broken, Bastian,” he says, his voice low and sure. “What he did to you was sick and so, so wrong, but you can’t let it define you. Maybe you haven’t found your person yet, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t deserving of love.”
Sebastian stiffens at B’s words, and his eyes flicker to me.
I smile sadly. “We’re all broken, baby.” I drop a chaste kiss on his lips.
“But despite all our jagged edges, we’re better people because of our trauma.
I know you believe that about me and Brantley, so believe it about yourself, too.
” I place a hand on Seb’s arm. “You have so much to offer. Do you remember the first time we met, Seb?”
He nods in the darkness.