Chapter Two. The Return of Felix Song #2
When I started tutoring the Songs, the doctors thought she’d be in high school before that happened.
“I bet that’s a hard development,” I reply, carefully avoiding “I’m sorry,” since my mindset is about Deaf Gain—an idea that reframes deafness not as an impairment or deficit to be overcome, but as a unique kind of diversity that challenges ableist, phonocentric cultural norms and contributes to the greater good.
Regardless, I know this is difficult news for her.
Ava exchanges another look with her brother. “Because I don’t like voicing since I can’t hear myself very well now, I really want him to learn sign.”
My focus flickers to him, and my frown deepens. “Did you fly all the way to Seattle for a lesson? That’s not going to do much.” I can’t help how sharp my tone is or how my signs are brimming with frustration.
Maybe it’s the older sister in me, but I suddenly feel protective of Ava. Even if she’s not upset at Felix for not prioritizing ASL for her all along, it doesn’t mean I’m not upset.
“Nat,” he starts, “I really wanna make this work.” He flashes me a glittery grin.
A grin I’m sure he thinks I’m going to melt for, like everyone else seems to.
Instead, it upsets me more. If he had paid attention during lessons or found a tutor in LA, he wouldn’t need me to swoop in and speed teach him.
“I have a proposal,” Ava chimes in. “Do you promise to stay until I finish?”
I gulp but reluctantly reply, “Promise.”
She sets up her laptop on the kitchen island. A PowerPoint slide appears on the screen, and an ugly, barking seal laugh tears out of me before I can stop it.
Why Natalie Should Go on Tour I’ll give her that. She looks at me and juts her lower lip, shamelessly guilting me. She rubs a flat palm in circles on her sternum, “Please, please, please?”
I knew I shouldn’t have stayed. This definitely counts as roping me into something way above my pay grade.
“I … I can’t. I have other clients and important projects this summer. And besides, who would teach you guys?” I ask Mr. and Mrs. Song, my hands and voice both stuttering. Then I look at Ava and sign, “And we have outings planned for the next three weeks! Who would take you?”
Even if Felix Song didn’t make my Top Five Most Annoying People list, I have too many plans.
Organizing fundraisers, emailing potential private donors, and overhauling the Center.
There’s no way I can do it all myself once Jo heads back to school, and I don’t want to wait another year. It has to be this summer.
“Could your sister fill in?” Mrs. Song asks. “We all think— — great opportunity for Felix to learn sign, and— —very important to Ava, so we’d love to work this out.”
Ava nods enthusiastically. “J-O is cool! I wouldn’t mind getting to know her more.” They met at the Center’s Christmas party last year and got along really well. Almost too well. They ganged up on me quite a few times.
I blink at her, then Mrs. Song. I love working with the Songs (with one obvious exception), but I can’t help but feel a little ambushed. They’re sort of backing me into a corner.
A million potential responses run through my head. All eyes are on me, but I stay silent, half convinced I’m about to wake up from a very bizarre dream.
“I’m sorry. I … I have to go.” I stand up, grab my backpack, and pick up Ginger’s leash from the ground. She yawns but obediently steps into a heel.
“Wait, Nat!” Felix blurts. “Please stay. We should really talk about this.”
“I’m really busy today.”
It’s another lie. My next lesson isn’t for hours, but this is a lot. I can’t even form proper sentences right now, much less try to process.
He pauses, staring me down while a ghost of a frown crosses his features, but he quickly hides it. “No biggie. See ya soon.”
I give Ava a quick hug goodbye, grab the half-melted iced Americano Felix brought for me (I’ll never turn down free caffeine, pride be damned), and rush toward the foyer, kneeling underneath the huge DAYDREAM poster while pulling on my boots.
Mr. Song is speaking to his son in terse Korean, his face stony. Mrs. Song attempts to sign for Ava’s sake, but she’s not paying attention, content with being tucked under her brother’s arm.
And Felix … is staring at me …
He responds to his dad in monosyllables, eyes firmly fixated on me. As desperate as I am to leave, something about his intense stare manages to make me lose sight of what I’m doing—
Tying my shoes! I’m tying my shoes. Yes. Right.
I tighten the laces and rush toward the entrance. One foot out the door, Felix calls out, loud enough for me to hear, “Chat soon, Nat!”
I turn on my heel. “My name is Natalie.”