Chapter 9 Molly
MOLLY
If it weren’t for the crutches, I’d find an excuse to duck out of the room during the games.
How many bathroom stalls have I hidden in over the years, counting to ten and willing myself to stop feeling so awkward?
What’s one more? But I’d probably make a spectacle of myself, and I see Chase moving closer, Amanda stuck like glue to his side.
The kids laugh and groan at the game of guessing the type of melted chocolate smeared across the inside of a diaper.
One of the other mothers leans closer to me. “You’ve got a hot bull rider for your nanny?” she asks with a knowing chuckle.
“He’s my late husband’s best friend,” I say, like that’s the equivalent of man cooties. My body immediately calls me out on the lie, but I ignore it.
“Tell me he’s living in that house with you.”
“He’s not living with me.”
“But maybe he’s helping with more than just the kids?” another mom suggests. “Don’t tell my husband, but I wouldn’t mind hiring a manly nanny.”
“Please, stop,” I beg. “It isn’t like that.” My face is on fire because I can’t imagine Chase doesn’t hear the teasing. They’re not exactly whispering.
“Come on now, ladies.” His deep voice is pitched low but carries a hint of amusement.
A casual smile curves his lips, like he’s genuinely entertained by their speculation.
“You can’t seriously believe there’s anything between Molly and me other than helping with the kids and driving her where she needs to. ”
He shrugs again, and now my face is burning even hotter but for a different reason.
Yeah, it was rude and inappropriate for the moms to insinuate anything, especially with my kids sitting a few feet away, but I kind of hate that he practically shuddered with revulsion at the suggestion that there could be more to the two of us.
It’s not like there is or that I want there to be.
But he makes getting involved with me sound about as appealing as eating a wad of chewing gum he found stuck to the bottom of a bleacher at the rodeo fairgrounds.
There are murmurs of acceptance at his explanation, and Amanda gives me a look like I’m the most pitiful creature she’s ever stumbled across. But Chase isn’t finished. Oh, no.
“I loved Teddy McAllister like a brother, and his mother asked me to do poor Molly here a favor.”
Poor Molly.
I feel my eyes narrow.
“The McAllisters were good to me.” His smile turns almost nostalgic. “I owe them.”
“With Linda away on her trip,” Amanda says sweetly to Chase, “Molly doesn’t have anybody else. It’s so nice of you to take time out of your busy schedule to—”
“I have people,” I interrupt. “Friends.”
My God, why am I defending myself?
The winners of the Dirty Diaper Challenge are announced and I clap along with the other moms, grateful for the diversion.
Luke and his teammates are each given a handful of Bradshaw Bucks, which they can cash in for prizes at the end of the semester.
Bradshaw Bucks are worth more than a stack of Benjamins in first grade.
Amanda grips my arm like she’s testing my composure with her clammy fingers.
“Your book club besties,” she says with a smile that doesn’t come anywhere near reaching her eyes.
“Those ladies are dropping like flies as they couple up, right? Sadie, Iris, Taylor…” I hate her touching me like we’re friends but can’t force myself to pull away.
“Avah Harris is engaged. And Sloane…well, I’m sure she’s got her own challenges to deal with thanks to the big C. ”
“She’s beating it.” My voice sounds like it’s coming from a faraway place.
“I feel for you, Molly.” Amanda gives my arm another squeeze and this time I do pull away. “A single mother of twins living off the generosity of her mother-in-law.”
“I’m not living off her,” I whisper.
“Of course.” She makes a face. “But that’s a lot of baggage for a man to consider lifting.”
What a bitch.
“I hope it doesn’t take too much time away from your life, Chase.” She turns to him with the practiced smile of someone used to getting what she wants. The other moms have gone suspiciously quiet. “I know we’re all rooting for you to get back on the circuit.”
The baby shower games continue, and I force a smile as I watch the teams try to guess baby food flavors while blindfolded. Chase looks at me with a funny expression, like I’m not the one who’s just been completely humiliated.
“I appreciate that,” he says to the group in general, then rubs a hand over the back of his neck.
He does that when he’s uncomfortable, which he deserves after what he’s done to me. But his eyes have taken on a hollow appearance, one that makes my chest tighten with unexpected sympathy. Because it’s a look I recognize staring back at me in the mirror.
“Who wants cupcakes?” I call out suddenly. The other class mom gapes at me, her shock justifiable given that she’s just explained the instructions for the next game. She has to be wondering why I’ve skipped ahead to snack time so abruptly.
“Cupcakes,” the kids scream.
Aimee Bradshaw uses her well-honed teacher skills to bring order to the masses and instructs the students to make a single-file line in front of the snack table.
I turn to Chase. “Would you help me pass them out?” I’m still not sure why I’m being the least bit kind after what he did..
“We’d love to have you come back for career day, Chase,” Amanda says, again with the fake sweetness. “If you give me your number—”
“I’ll coordinate with him,” I tell her. “We need to get to the cupcakes.”
The look of relief on his face is priceless, and he’s surprisingly good with the kids. He keeps them entertained without letting things devolve into mayhem, a fine line to walk.
“You should take a seat,” he tells me when the kids are back at their desks, happily munching on cupcakes and shouting out baby name suggestions to their teacher.
I roll my eyes. “I’m fine standing.”
“It’s obvious you’re tired. Your arms are trembling.”
“If it’s obvious, then you didn’t need to point it out,” I snap. “But thanks. Both for the reminder and for making it clear you’d have absolutely zero interest in a woman like me.” I plop down on the chair he’s moved behind the snack table.
My armpits ache more than my arms. The scooter is way more comfortable, even if it’s bulkier to maneuver. I’m so lost in my self-pitying thoughts that it takes me a minute to realize Chase is staring at me, slack-jawed.
“What?” I demand, crossing my arms over my chest.
“I never said I wouldn’t be interested in a woman like you.”
His voice is gruff, and with everyone else involved in baby shower activities, it feels like we’re in our own little bubble. But I’m not going down this road when I know where it leads.
“I don’t want to talk anymore. You’ve made your opinion clear on more than one occasion. You were Teddy’s friend and owe a debt to the McAllisters. We all get it.”
He opens his mouth like he wants to argue, then shuts it again and shakes his head. “I didn’t say those words.”
Laurel skips up to the table with her two best friends. “Can Kate and Melody come over later to meet Fancy?” She offers Chase her most charming smile, which looks just like her father’s.
“No,” I say before he can answer. “I need your help in the greenhouse this afternoon. Maybe next week.”
“Mommy, please.” Even Laurel’s whine is adorable. “Luke can help you. He doesn’t have anything else to do.”
Right, because my son doesn’t have friends, just like Chase told me.
“Your mother makes the rules,” Chase tells her, seemingly unaffected by her cute pout. “When she says the time is right, your friends can meet Fancy. Not before.”
My daughter’s wispy brows pull together. Laurel isn’t used to hearing the word “no” from anyone. I’m not sure how clear her memories of her father are after two years, but Teddy rarely denied her anything. Even when it went against the rules I set.
I’m surprised Chase isn’t doing the same thing, and I don’t want to admit how much I appreciate it.
I remind myself that it doesn’t matter if he isn’t interested in a woman like me because that’s not why he’s here.
Having Chase around the next few weeks will get me closer to buying the farm and claiming the future I want for myself and my kids.
So what if it means more time with a man who thinks I’m not worthy of him? I spent enough years married to one of those. It won’t kill me.
I’m tougher than people think and more than what Chase Calhoun believes me to be.
I’m more than what I believe myself to be. By the end of this flower season, everyone is going to know it.