Chapter 23 Molly
MOLLY
When I blink awake Sunday morning, light is streaming in through the edges of the thick curtains. Next to me, the bed is cold and empty, like Chase was never there.
But I know it was real. My body holds traces of our night together in both sore muscles and a bone-deep sense of satisfaction. I can still almost feel his stubble on my skin in the most delicious way.
I roll over and press my nose into the pillow. There it is—the clean, woodsy scent of him. An unexpected rush of shivers courses down my spine.
Maybe he’s gone downstairs for coffee, or out to the barn to feed Fancy. He wouldn’t just leave. Whatever this situationship is, we’re long past hookup behavior. Right?
I pick up my phone from the nightstand. No messages. But…wow. It’s almost nine.
I haven’t slept this late since before Luke and Laurel were born. I didn’t even know my body could stay in bed so long. To be fair, Chase and I mostly dozed between rounds of lovemaking.
I climb out of bed and pull on pajama shorts and a tank, throwing an old fleece over the top before lacing up the boot over my injured ankle.
Sleeping naked is another thing I don’t do, but being pressed up against Chase’s warm body, skin to skin, was too irresistible to let modesty get the best of me.
The main floor of the house is also empty, but the coffee maker is filled with water and fresh grounds, ready to brew. I flip the switch, then look out the window.
My heart does a funny lurch when I notice his truck’s gone.
Not a big deal, I remind myself. Maybe he had something to take care of on a Sunday morning. He doesn’t owe me a note, or an explanation.
After coffee and a granola bar, I head out to the greenhouse, only to find that Chase has done all my chores. What time did he get up? And, seriously, how did I manage to sleep away the morning?
When I stop at the pasture behind the barn on my way back to the house, Fancy greets me at the fence. I reach out to scratch her between the eyes and manage not to flinch—much, anyway—when she nuzzles my arm.
“Did he tell you where he was going?” She gives a soft snuffle. “I take that as a yes. You’ll always be number one in his heart, huh, girl?”
I start to pull my hand away, then freeze as Fancy nips lightly at my wrist, telling me she wants some more love. I give her another few pats, then slowly make my way over the uneven ground, feeling more unsettled by the second.
Why would I think I hold any place in Chase Calhoun’s heart? That way lies madness and goes against everything I’ve been trying to do with my life.
Love makes me weak. Too willing to put aside my needs and wants for the sake of someone else. Hell, before the bucket list challenge, I was unwilling to admit I even had my own desires. There’s no way I can let some casual connection and a few rounds of great sex distract me from my path.
I shower, get dressed, and am baking a batch of muffins when the kids rush through the front door, followed by Piper.
“Mommy, Ian made chocolate chip pancakes,” my daughter reports as she and Luke take turns hugging me.
“Piper made homemade whipped cream,” my son reports. “It was delicioso.”
“That sounds like an Ian Barlowe description,” I say, ruffling his hair as I share a smile with Piper. “And you seem to be saving a bit of chip for later.” I rub the chocolate smear from the corner of his mouth.
“Look at my nails, Mommy.” Laurel holds out her hands for inspection. “Piper did nail art. I got flowers–you know, because we’re flower farmers.”
We’re flower farmers. Be still my heart. “I love that, sweetie.”
“Are you making muffins?” My daughter glances past me to the counter.
“Banana,” I confirm.
“I love banana.” Luke rubs his hands together. “We haven’t had muffins in forever.”
“It was like two weeks ago,” I say with a laugh. Tough crowd, these two.
“Can we go see Fancy?” my son asks, unaware that his simple muffin comment has launched me into a torrent of full-on mom guilt. “Where’s Chase?”
“He’s not here right now,” I tell the kids. “But Fancy’s out in the pasture. You can say hi, but stay on this side of the fence.”
“She’s not going to hurt us.” Laurel sounds affronted, like I’ve dissed the horse with my words of caution. “Fancy is nice.”
My stomach dips, and I don’t bother to tell them that nice things can hurt, too. It was nice spending the night in Chase’s arms, but his absence this morning hurts like hell.
Since I’m fully back in mom mode, I only smile. “She’s very nice and also huge. Stay on this side of the fence.”
Laurel rolls her eyes.
“Hey.” I touch a hand to her shoulder when she turns away. “You heard me, right?”
“I heard you,” she confirms. “Let’s go, Lukey.”
“Did you thank Piper for bringing you home?”
“Thank you, Piper,” they chorus as they rush past her out the front door.
“You’re welcome,” she calls to their retreating backs, then turns to me. “I need at least two cups of coffee to hit that energy level. Kind of jealous right now.”
“My little Energizer bunnies.” I gesture to the coffee pot. “Can I offer you a cup?”
“Raincheck,” she tells me. “I ended up spending the night at Ian and Sadie’s, so I need to get home.” She makes a face. “Sometimes being in Mom’s house, even with Max, is a little lonely. How was your night?” She inclines her head to study me. “Do single moms get lonely, too?”
I feel my eyes widen and my mouth drop open. I fix my expression, but it’s not quick enough.
“Hold up. You weren’t alone, were you? Was it Chase?” she asks with a delighted laugh. “Good on you, Molly.”
“I don’t know about that,” I mutter and wipe a spot of flour off the front of my shirt.
“That cowboy looks at you like you’re his favorite horse.”
I laugh. “Then you haven’t seen the way he looks at Fancy. It doesn’t mean anything. Chase and I want different things in life. Or more accurately, we both want the same thing, but only one of us will get it.”
“You,” she reminds me. “You’re going to get it.”
“Yeah.” I nod, wishing I felt so certain. “Thanks for being nice to my kids. Sometimes I’m so busy doing life that I forget having fun is just as important as the serious parts. It’s important that they feel like kids, not just little adults helping me survive. Laurel loves having her nails done.”
“I could do yours sometime,” Piper offers.
“It would be a waste of time.” I curl my hands into fists. “They’ll just get chipped and dirty again.”
Her smile turns a little bit wistful. “Who cares? Feeling pretty and taken care of has its place, even if it’s only for a few minutes. It’s part of that fun you mentioned.”
“Then I might take you up on a manicure very soon. I’m hosting a wedding here in a couple of weeks. I’ll be working the event, but it would be nice to feel pretty while I’m doing it.”
“There you go. And if you decide the cowboy isn’t your type, I have it on good authority that wedding hookups are legit.”
“Good authority?” I ask, raising a brow. “Or personal experience? Pretty sure the last wedding you attended was your sister’s, with Ian’s very sexy brother as the best man.”
She makes a choking sound. “Felix Barlowe is not my type.”
“Adrenaline junkie cowboys aren’t my type either, but—”
“Mommy, come quick!” I stop mid-sentence as Laurel’s voice rings out. “You have to see this!”
“Quick!” Luke echoes.
Dashing is impossible with my booted foot, even now that I’ve been cleared to start reducing my time on the crutches, but I hurry outside as fast as I can. My heart is pounding in my chest. What could be so urgent? Did someone get hurt? Is there an emergency?
Chase and the twins are standing in the middle of the driveway. With a horse that is not Fancy. This animal is smaller and—
“It’s so I can have riding lessons!” Laurel shouts.
“You, too, if you want them, buddy,” Chase adds, patting my son’s shoulder. Luke practically bounces on his toes, his eyes as wide as saucers. “This is Gumdrop,” Chase announces to all of us. “He’s a long-time trail horse who was ready for a new adventure.”
“New adventures,” Piper murmurs and elbows me. “A guy who brings your kids a horse isn’t at all interested in something more than sex.”
“He’s just being nice.” I press a hand to my chest like that can protect my heart from the onslaught of Chase’s particular version of kindness, and everything that goes with it.
“I don’t think guys like him are ever nice for no reason.” We’re standing on the porch, and the twins are peppering Chase with so many questions, I know they can’t hear our conversation. “Chase Calhoun likes you, Molly. It might be time to start believing you’re worth somebody making that effort.”
I glance at her, and she squeezes my hand. “Trust me. I know it’s not easy to admit you want more than what life has given you. But you’re worth it. Sometimes happiness is like a nice manicure—you just have to enjoy it while it lasts.”
“Mommy, I’m gonna ride Gumdrop! Come and watch!” Laurel calls.
I can feel the weight of Chase’s gaze on me as Piper moves off the porch. But I don’t follow.
She’s right, of course. I can just let this moment be what it is. He didn’t ditch me after our night, although this gesture hits me even harder than the idea of him not caring did.
“I need to put some shoes on, and then I’ll be out,” I say.
My throat tightens as I watch him interact with the kids like he belongs here.
Like we’re already a family. The thought terrifies me.
But somewhere deep in my heart, there’s a glimmer of hope that Chase might be part of the happily-ever-after I never thought I’d get.
“Hurry, Mommy,” Laurel shouts.
“We’ll wait,” Chase says. “We’ve got all day and night.”
His voice—those casual words—sends heat flooding through me. Because I’ll gladly take whatever time this man is willing to give me.