Chapter 35 Chase
CHASE
Most fairgrounds sound and smell the same during an event. The scent of popcorn, funnel cake, and leather mix with the dusty aroma of animals in a way that’s both unique and as familiar to me as the smell of a mountain forest after a spring rain.
I remember the first time my dad brought me to a rodeo. I thought the lights, the crowd, and the cowboys with their buttoned-up shirts, tight jeans, and Stetsons were the coolest thing I’d ever seen. I still feel that way.
Unlike the little boy I was back then, the grown-up version of me no longer yearns to be a part of the spectacle. Telling myself—and other people—about my retirement…well, they were easy enough words to say. Still, I wasn’t sure how I really felt about them.
As soon as I stepped out of my truck tonight, I knew I made the right decision.
I don’t need or want the adrenaline rush that climbing onto the back of a bull gave me for so long.
The shadows that were chasing me, the darkness I was so sure would rise up from deep inside my soul and swallow me whole—those demons have no hold on me.
Not when the future I want is so filled with light.
It’s filled with Molly and the twins and what I want us to build together. Risking my heart is almost as scary as how I’ve risked my body all these years. But the reward on the other end is going to be worth it. I believe that with every ounce of my being.
If she’ll have me.
The young rider standing next to me fidgets and glances around the arena like he can’t believe this moment is real.
“Take a breath. You’ve got this. Trust your instincts and your training.
You know what to do out there.” I incline my head toward the giant bull being loaded into the chute as memories come back to me in neon color.
“Marvin knows what he’s doing, too. He comes out fluid about four seconds into the ride, then he’s going to switch things up on you. Anticipate it.”
“Yes, sir.” The kid, Christopher, swallows and nods. He’s nineteen years old, and this is his first year as a pro.
“You ready?” one of the handlers asks.
Christopher draws in a slow, steady breath. “Yeah, I’m ready.”
I clap the kid on the back. “You got this.”
He starts to move forward, then pauses and meets my gaze. “You think so?”
“Yep, but you’re the one who has to believe it.”
“I do,” he tells me.
“Then go get ’em.”
“Dropping those Chase Calhoun deep-thought dimes on the kid?” Ray asks as he slides in next to me.
“I told him to hold on.”
“Good advice.” My friend chuckles. “Especially when you know why you’re holding on.”
I glance at him out of the corner of my eye. “And when it’s time to let go.”
“I take it you’re letting go of this part of your life for real?”
“One-hundred percent.”
“No regrets?”
“I have a whole wagon full of regrets, but…” I pause. “I’m slowly unloading them.”
“Does that lighter load have anything to do with a pretty redhead?”
I scoff and elbow the older man. “You’re as nosy as a gaggle of grandmas sitting on the front porch watching the world go by.”
He shrugs and grins wide. “Janice told me to report back. She’s the boss.”
The countdown clock is on, and we fall silent as we watch Christopher make his final adjustments on top of Marvin. There’s a breath of stillness just before the gate opens. I remember those moments vividly. I loved the connection with the heaving beast beneath me.
Okay, that’s some philosophical shit for a broken and battered cowboy, but I think that’s why I was so good. I lost myself in those eight seconds, over and over.
Now I’m ready to find myself again, thanks to Molly.
There’s a decent-sized crowd filling the bleachers for a preseason event. They clap and cheer as the bull thunders across the dirt.
“Be ready for it,” I say out loud, even though there’s no way the kid can hear me.
Just as I told him, old Marvin changes direction midair and gives one, two, three sharp bucks in rapid succession.
Christopher manages to hold on through it, but I see the moment when he loses focus.
I don’t know whether he’s thinking of the girl he left behind in whatever small town he came from, or how many seconds are still on the clock, or the fact that his teeth are rattling inside his head. But I’m not the only one who notices.
Marvin senses that sliver of weakness and spins again.
Christopher sails through the air and lands in the dirt, and you can feel the crowd lean in, waiting to see what happens next and how this ends.
The cowboy scrambles to his feet as the bull turns toward him.
The bullfighters—the guys who used to be called rodeo clowns—draw the animal’s attention as Christopher jogs to the edge of the arena and climbs to safety.
“That was a good start,” I say to Ray. “He’s got potential.”
“He could benefit from more of your coaching.”
I shake my head. “I have other plans.”
“Cattle,” my friend says simply.
“Flowers,” I answer.
“Good for you, son,” Ray says as the next rider climbs the gate.
“I hope so. First, I need to convince her to take me on.”
He throws back his head and laughs. “Maybe you should have started with that.”
“Probably.” I rub a hand over my jaw. “I’m going out there tomorrow and—”
“Or you could talk to her now.” Ray hitches a thumb over his shoulder.
I look past him, and my breath catches in my throat.
Molly is standing in the center of the open area under the arena, her long braid coming loose with strands of hair framing her face.
Her eyes are wild as she glances around.
Then her gaze crashes into mine. For a second, I see exactly what I hoped for in those crystal green depths—love and yearning and the future I so desperately want.
As I take a step toward her, I wonder if I imagined all of that, because her gaze turns ferocious.
But that doesn’t stop me. Or scare me. Well, it worries me a little. But I’m a fighter, always have been. And she’s given me something to fight for.
“What in the heck do you think you’re doing?” she asks as we stand toe to toe, then punctuates the question with a little shove.
I feel the people around us staring with avid interest. Looks like I might be putting on a better show than the bulls tonight.
“Right now, I’m wondering why you’re here.” I hold up a hand. “I mean, I’m glad to see you, but—”
“You can’t get on a bull again,” she says. “I know you’re mad, but you can’t risk...” Her voice trails off as her eyes fill with tears. “I can’t lose you,” she says, a sob wrenching from her throat. “I love you too much, Chase Calhoun.”
And just like that, everything that mattered before Molly loved me vanishes. The doubt and fear and darkness—she’s chased it away with her light.
“I’m not competing.” I cup her face in my hands. “I’m done with bull riding, sweetheart. The only moments that matter to me are the ones I spend with you. Eight seconds, eight years, eight decades—I’m here for all of it. I love you, Molly.”
Her eyes search my face. “They said you were making your comeback.”
“Rumors are good for ticket sales.” I wipe a lone tear from the corner of her eye. “I’m giving some pointers to a few of the new guys, but I have too much to live for now that I have you and the twins. The only thing I want to risk is my heart. It’s yours to do with what you want.”
She smiles, her eyes drifting closed before locking on mine again. “I shouldn’t have reacted so harshly about you signing the contract. I know you were trying to take care of me.”
“No.” I shake my head, my thumbs stroking across her cheeks. “I should have talked to you before I made that deal. I was just so scared you’d say no because...” I swallow hard. “Because I don’t deserve someone like you.”
“Don’t you dare.” She grabs my arms, her grip fierce. “I said I loved you, and there are no take-backs. You hear me?”
A laugh rumbles from deep in my chest, and I feel something I haven’t felt in years—pure, unfettered joy.
“No take-backs,” I agree, grinning like a fool.
She wrinkles her nose. “So we can talk about subdividing the land?”
“No.” Her face falls, and I rush to continue, “It’s ours together. We’re partners, Molly. In life and business, I hope. I don’t want to run cattle. I want to grow flowers.”
She gasps as shock and hope mix in her gaze. “Are you serious?’
The words feel strange coming out of my mouth, but so damn right. “As a two-thousand-pound bull. I want to support your dream and make it into something we can both hold onto. Mostly, I’m going to hold onto you because I love you so damn much.”
She rises up on her toes just as I lean down, and our lips meet in a kiss that tastes like coming home. The crowd that has formed around us erupts into cheers and whistles, but all I can hear is the thundering of my own heart.
When we finally break apart, breathless and grinning like fools, Molly rests her forehead against mine. “So this is it? You’re in it for good?”
“So good, sweetheart. That’s all thanks to you.
I came back to Skylark months ago, but right here with you in my arms is where I’ve found my home.
” I brush a strand of hair from her face.
“You are my home. The way you challenge me and believe in me even when I don’t believe in myself.
The way you love those twins with everything you’ve got.
It’s this moment and every moment after that I get to spend loving you. ”
“I love you, Chase.” The sweetness of her smile makes my heart beat double time. “Forever.”
Whatever comes next, sunny days or stormy skies, Molly and I will face it together. And that’s the only forever I’ll ever need.