Chapter 21
As the tide of the wedding party swelled around AJ, he found himself in the paradoxical position of being surrounded by people, while simultaneously feeling lonely and distant from the one person whose attention he wanted.
He stood at the edge of the sprawling white tent that had transformed Liam’s backyard into another world, strung with fairy lights and garlands of eucalyptus, hoping to make himself invisible to the rest of the attendees while he worked out why Poppy was looking right through him.
The scent of peonies hung thick in the air, they were Frankie’s favorite and must’ve been imported because there was no way they grew like this so late in the season.
There was a hardwood dance floor at the tent’s heart, surrounded by a perfect symmetry of twelve round tables, each topped with hurricane lamps and spilling over with more blooms. Poppy flitted from group to group, a social butterfly pollenating each table with her infectious smile, warmth, and authenticity.
He watched her the way he’d observed kinetic gas particles in chemistry class, bouncing off the walls, colliding with other molecules, always in motion.
If AJ didn’t know any better, he would swear that Poppy was avoiding him.
At dinner, the seating chart had placed her next to him.
He had nothing to do with that. It was how Frankie had designed it autonomously, with zero input from him.
But Poppy never even approached their table.
AJ was reduced to observing her from a distance, laughing with the bride, conspiratorially whispering with his aunts, doing the electric slide and Macarena with her nieces and nephews, and sneaking into the kitchen to grab a couple wedding cookies when she thought no one was watching…
he was. Which is how he saw tension in the set of her jaw and the way her fingers squeezed the back of a chair until her knuckles turned white.
She was, quite literally, white-knuckling it.
When he’d run into her in the hallway, she’d mentioned food poisoning.
It could be that. But it felt like more.
Something was off. Wrong. He’d studied her, memorized her breathing patterns, her speech cadence, her macro-expressions, catalogued them, and was convinced she was suffering.
He was so deep in his worry loop he didn’t register Niko’s approach. His brother materialized beside him, holding two flutes of champagne in one oversized hand.
“What’s goin’ on with you two?” Niko asked, nodding toward Poppy, who was helping her niece fish a cherry out of a glass of ginger ale.
“I don’t know,” he answered neutrally.
Niko eyed him, skeptical. “You like her?”
“Yes.”
“But I mean, do you like her, like her?” Niko repeated.
AJ understood that by his brother repeating the phrase, there was a different connotation. He also understood they were in their thirties, and he should just ask what he wanted to ask.
“Is she the reason you’re not reenlisting?” Niko pressed, lowering his voice conspiratorially, like this was the kind of thing that could get back to Uncle Leo and start a civil war. “Is she why you’re moving out here?”
AJ found it absurd that his brother would suggest he’d make life-altering decisions based on what would essentially be the equivalent of a crush.
He had no relationship with Poppy. There was no commitment between the two of them.
He could measure the effect she had on him, but it was clearly not reciprocal.
He couldn’t even get her to look in his direction.
“I never said I was moving here,” AJ corrected his brother.
This was how false narratives started in this town, and those stories spread like wildfire.
He didn’t want to spend the next few weeks explaining that he had no intention of making Hope Falls his permanent place of residence.
Or, on the flip side, that Hope Falls was going to be getting one more resident.
Either one was false because he didn’t know what he was doing.
Not to mention, it was no one’s business what he was doing with his life.
Although in this town, that fact was entirely insignificant.
No one cared about things like privacy or boundaries.
“You said you’re selling your house.” Niko immediately went into cross-examination, he was building a case, and this was exhibit A.
“I am.”
“And you’re here.” He splayed his arms.
“Through the holidays.”
“So where are you moving after that?”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?” His tone was incredulous.
“No.”
Niko stared at AJ like he’d grown another head. He saw that this conversation was going nowhere, so he decided to extract himself from it. He just needed to wave something shiny in front of his brother to distract him.
“Emmanuelle said her friend wants your number.” AJ wasn’t lying. At the rehearsal dinner before Niko was in town, the model had asked AJ if he thought his brother would mind if she gave it out.
“What friend?”
AJ shrugged.
Just like he knew he would, Niko took the bait, heading off to find answers.
When AJ turned his attention back to Poppy, his middle finger began tapping the inside of his palm when he noticed her rise from her seat and make her way out of the tent.
All night, he’d been giving her space, since she’d obviously been avoiding him, but if she was leaving, he was going to make sure she was okay and had a ride home.
That proved more difficult than it should have been thanks to his brother’s big mouth.
AJ only had himself to blame for trusting Niko with the information about his life plans before the wedding.
He should have told his brother after. He couldn’t walk two steps without a concerned relative stopping him to ask about his new “life plan”—as if he’d enrolled in some sort of small-town witness protection.
He was selling his house and going into the private sector, not giving evidence against a mafia don.
People did it all the time. It wasn’t as if he was joining a cult.
His responses were minimal, sometimes only a grunt, and he didn’t break his stride.
He slipped out of the tent, crossing the makeshift floorboards and ducking through a gap between two swaying, tipsy aunts.
Overhead, the string lights had been woven in an impressive grid, blanketing the area in magic.
The air was damp and cold, fragrant with the perfume of wet pine needles and crushed grass, and every time AJ inhaled, he caught the peppery undertone of the evergreens.
He stopped when he saw Poppy standing alone at the edge of the deck, looking out past the yard to where the woods pressed up like a velvet wall.
“Are you okay?” he asked quietly, not wanting to startle her, but she still jumped, turning sharply and shushing him with a finger to her lips.
“Shh.”
He glanced over his shoulder, confused as to why him asking if she was okay was a bad thing.
“Are you leaving?”
“No, I was just looking for—”
As she was speaking, Frankie appeared from inside the house, beaming in her wedding dress.
“Liam is looking for you,” Poppy relayed.
Frankie’s eyes lit up, her whole body pivoting towards the tent at the mention of her new husband.
For a second, AJ saw a version of his sister from childhood, how she used to leap out of bed on Christmas morning, propelled by anticipation.
Or do a somersault when she was the one who got the prize at the bottom of the cereal box.
“My husband.” Frankie rolled the word around in her mouth like it was expensive chocolate.
He’d never seen his baby sister as happy as she’d been the past couple months, even in her youth. He watched as she scampered off, her train trailing behind her. She deserved this and so much more, she deserved all the happiness in the world.
“What are you thinking?” Poppy tilted her head, looking at him like he was an alien from another planet.
His attention turned back to her. “Why?”
She shrugged, her lips pressing into a line.
“I was thinking that I’ve never seen my sister as happy as she’s been the past two months being with Liam.
” He paused, trying to articulate his feelings as succinctly as possible, continuing after about fifteen seconds.
“But it’s more than that. I’ve never seen her so…
her. It’s not even just the best version of her, it’s like being in love with Liam, being loved by Liam has brought out every side of her, making her fully herself. "
When Poppy didn’t respond, he realized he may have said something wrong. He tended to do that without realizing. He looked back at her only to discover her eyes were filled with tears.
“What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick again? I can take you home.”
“No.” She sniffed as she quickly brushed away a single teardrop that slipped down her cheek with the back of her hand. “That was just such a beautiful way to describe love.”
“Oh.” Was that what he’d done? Had he described love?
He just thought he was talking about his sister and Liam.
He’d thought the same thing about Liam being around Frankie when they were younger in the ER waiting room when Dr. Sterling was in surgery.
Maybe they were the personification of true love.
Inside the tent, the music changed, shifting from frenetic to slow. The DJ queued up Van Morrison, and the first notes of “Crazy Love” drifted out into the yard.
“Dance?” He held out his hand.
Her eyes sliced toward the white canopied area filled with people swaying to slow music. Hesitation flickered across her face, and he immediately felt guilty for putting her on the spot. This was her brother’s wedding, and she wasn’t feeling well. She didn’t need someone pressuring her.
“Never mind, enjoy your night.” He turned and took two steps.
“AJ.”
Hearing his name, he stopped and glanced back over his shoulder.
She stared at him for a moment, as if the jury was still out, before taking a deep breath and exhaling, “Fuck it.”