Chapter 9 #2
I thought he was sexy before, but now he’s even more so, especially since his hard work to get fit makes it more likely he’ll live for a good long time.
That’s critical to my well-being, too. I simply can’t exist in constant mortal fear of suddenly losing him, which is what I did for a time after his heart attack.
I went back to the therapist I saw after Jim died and worked through my anxiety about Tom’s health, which was made worse by the fact that his father and his siblings died of heart attacks in their forties.
Despite my experience with medical disasters, I’m determined to stay optimistic and not focus on the doom and gloom of it all. That’s just no way to live.
Tom is doing everything he can to stay healthy, and that’s what matters.
If he were to die suddenly, it wouldn’t be because he didn’t take the risks seriously.
The therapist has helped me to remember that we’re all living with an expiration date, and we can’t live in fear of something that may not happen for decades.
At home, he drives his truck into the garage, next to my car. I still can’t believe this is where I live, that I get to be with him every day and sleep with him every night. Months ago, we moved my stuff from my former room over the garage into the main bedroom that I now share with him.
I walk into the kitchen to find a dozen red roses, congratulations balloons and champagne chilling in a bucket on the counter. Spinning around, I find him smiling as he comes in behind me. “How did you pull this off?”
“With a little help from Cora,” he says, referring to his sister. “It’s a good thing you said yes, or this would’ve been embarrassing.”
I laugh at the grimace he makes as he says that. “So she knew about your plans for today?”
“She helped me choose the ring. I didn’t feel qualified to do that on my own.”
“She did great, and so did you.” I loop my arms around his neck. “I love the ring, and all of this. Thank you for everything you did to make this a day I’ll never forget.”
“I’ll never forget it either. It’s not every day a guy gets engaged for the first time, to his high school dream girl, no less.”
“Life is so weird.”
“And wonderful.”
I rest my head against his chest, feeling the strong beat of his heart against my ear. “That, too. Especially lately.”
“Let’s go finish this day in style, my love.”
“What do you have in mind?”
“You’ll see.”
He takes me by the hand to lead me into our bedroom, which is awash in candlelight, with rose petals on the bed.
“You did not have your sister sprinkle rose petals on our bed!”
“I only asked her to light the candles when we were leaving the restaurant. The rose petals were all her.”
“It’s beautiful.”
“So are you.” He draws me into his arms and kisses me lightly at first and then more intently as the usual desire flares between us. His hands move over my back with increasing urgency as he removes my top and then pulls at the button to my jeans while I work on his shirt.
“No matter how many times we do this, no matter how many days we spend together, I can never, ever get enough of you, sweet Lexi.” He drops his head to my shoulder. “Sometimes I still can’t believe I get to love you for the rest of my life.”
“Believe it. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere as long as you love me.”
“That’s going to be a very long time.” He eases me onto the bed and comes down on top of me.
The fragrant scent of roses and the candlelight combine to create a romantic setting as we make love for the first time as an engaged couple. Tom is always a tender, sweet, generous lover, but it’s somehow so much more tonight after the commitment we made to each other today.
Everywhere he touches me lights up with sensation that travels through me like an electrical current. He takes me right to the edge of release before backing off and doing it again, until I’m pleading with him to move things along.
He chuckles as he pushes into me, going slowly for maximum effect. “So impatient.”
“I’ve been very patient. Now let’s go.”
He gives me exactly what I asked for—and then some. Two orgasms in ten minutes, and he’s not done yet.
I used to think I’d never do this again, but it took the right man at the right time, when I was ready to love again.
“Tom.”
“What, honey?”
“I just want to…”
He raises himself up on his muscular arms. “What do you need?”
“I want to say thank you for everything. Not just today, but all of it.”
“Oh God, Lex. I should be thanking you. I thought my life was great until I ran into you that night and found out I was barely existing when there was so much more.” His lips find mine in a hungry, desperate kiss that has us clinging to each other as we move together toward another release for me that will include him this time.
Afterward, we stay wrapped up in each other for a long time, pulsing with aftershocks and drunk with contentment.
“I love you so much,” he whispers. “More than I ever thought I could love anyone.”
“I love you just as much. I can’t wait to be your wife.”
“Let’s do it sooner rather than later.”
“It’s your first time. Don’t you want a big wedding?”
“God no. I just need you and our closest people. Would that be okay with you?”
“Absolutely. I’ve done the big white wedding. I’d do it again if it was what you wanted.”
“Nah, no need. Let’s keep it simple—and soon.”
“I can’t wait to tell my parents. They’ll be thrilled.”
“They were very excited when I spoke to them last week.”
“Thank you for doing that. I’m sure it meant a lot to them.”
“Your mom cried. She’s so happy for you—and for me, too. But mostly for you.”
“I’m happy for them. It’s a relief for them to see me coming out of the dark cloud of grief and finding my way forward again.”
“You did that all on your own before we ever reconnected. If you hadn’t, you wouldn’t have been ready for me and this.”
“It’s nice to be with someone who tries to understand widowhood. I appreciate that you get it.”
“I can’t possibly know what you’ve been through, but I can see how hard you’ve worked to make a new life for yourself. I’m proud of you, and Jim would be, too.”
“Means a lot to me that you think so.”
“I know so. You’ve earned the right to your happily ever after, Lex. Now let’s make sure you get it, shall we?”
I hug him tighter. “I’ve already got it. Anything else is just frosting on the cake.”