Chapter 26
Twenty-Six
Angela
Thankfully, Brad’s truck comes around the corner before I can talk myself out of going.
His kids are spending tonight and tomorrow night with his in-laws.
I asked him to be my plus one to Iris and Gage’s wedding, and we’ve chosen not to take our kids so we can have some adult time.
Our kids aren’t close to Iris’s. Not yet, anyway, so there is no good reason to take them, even though they’re invited.
How lucky am I that my sister was able to babysit two nights in a row? She says she has no life, but I’m sure she’d cancel plans to make it possible for me to go out and have fun. There’s no one in this world quite like my Tracy, and yes, she was mine long before I had to share her with Sam.
“What’s so funny?” Brad asks as I attempt to climb into his huge black pickup truck.
He extends a hand to help me in.
“I was thinking about how I was forced to share my older sister with my younger sister and how she was mine first.”
“That sounds like my family. We all wanted a piece of my oldest sister, Carla, and she used to tell us there was plenty to go around.”
“Sounds like us. Sam and I would tug-o-war for Tracy, and she was so patient with us. She still is. She’s our go-to person for all the things.”
“I love that you have that kind of support from her.”
“And Sam. It’s a different kind of support from her, but it’s just as important.”
“I love how you refer to the first lady as Sam.”
“What else should I call her?”
“I don’t know. It’s just funny.”
“She’s my sister, and not for nothing, but she’d hate for us to add to the hoopla that surrounds her and Nick.”
“The president.”
“My brother-in-law.”
He laughs. “It’s insane.”
“How do you think we feel? We had Thanksgiving at the White House yesterday.”
“That’s so cool.”
“It’s become kind of routine to us in the last year, as strange as that may sound. We’re there so often that it’s just Sam and Nick’s house.”
“The most famous house in the world.”
“How did the drop-off go with the kids?”
“It was fine. They’re excited to have Grandma and Grandpa’s full attention for a couple of days. And my in-laws have lots of plans for them. They had a whole agenda written down.”
“They’ll have a great time.”
“I feel bad that I’m absolutely elated for a couple of kid-free days.”
“Don’t feel bad. I’d worry about you if you weren’t excited to have the break.”
“When you’re all they have, you shouldn’t be glad to be rid of them for a minute.”
“You’re not all they have, and any single parent will tell you to enjoy every minute of every break you get.”
“Thank you for absolving me of my guilt.”
“Can you do the same for me? Ella had a sad daddy moment after her nap that had me feeling guilty about going out.”
“Ouch. Did you think about canceling?”
“For a second. Or two.”
“I’m glad you didn’t.”
“I am, too.”
After a long silence, he says, “This is weird, right?”
“Very. I never thought I’d be on a first date again.”
“Me either. I was relieved to be done with all that.”
“Oh God, same. Dating was the worst!”
“Tell me your worst dating horror story.”
“I have so many tied for last place, but the ultimate had to be my ex-boyfriend Johnny. We were together about three years, and I was starting to think we were headed for marriage when he told me, and I quote, ‘I’m not done sowing my wild oats yet.’”
Brad gasped. “He actually said that?”
“Those very words. It’s funny now, but at the time…
God, I was devastated. I thought we were solid, and the worst part is I’d gone back to him after meeting Spencer, which was a huge mistake.
I was so glad to get a second chance with Spence a year or so later.
Ironically, I reconnected with him at the same party where Sam met Nick. ”
“I’m sorry Johnny treated you that way.”
“It was a long time ago now and barely registers on the heartbreak-o-meter after more recent events.”
“He’s a nothingburger in the grand scheme of things.”
“For sure, but at the time… I was crushed.”
“I can imagine. What a crappy thing for him to say. Why not just be like, ‘I’m not in the same place you are regarding the future, and I think some time apart might benefit me.’ Or something an actual adult would say?”
“That would’ve been nice. I’m a big believer in people being allowed to end relationships that aren’t working for them, but to say it like that was just cruel after we’d spent years together.”
“Sure was. What became of him?”
“I have no idea. I never hear anything about him, which is fine with me. What about you? What was your biggest disaster?”
“I dated my sister’s best friend, and it ended badly. Took my sister a long time to forgive me for that.”
“Define ‘badly’…”
“I told her that I felt our relationship had run its course, and that didn’t go over well. I tried to be as nice about it as I possibly could, but she wasn’t having it. I was immediately the villain because I wanted different things.”
“Did your sister forgive you?”
“Not entirely. She was mad at me for a long time, and I started to hold a grudge against her for giving me shit about breaking up with someone in the nicest way I could.”
“Are they still friends?”
“Yes, but not like they used to be, which is also my fault, apparently.”
“It’s all so messy.”
“I swear I was totally upstanding with her. No wild-oats bullshit. Later, I found out she’d been collecting bride magazines because she thought we were getting married. I was twenty-one and in no way ready for any of that.”
“Yikes.”
“Right? I’m so glad I waited until I was twenty-nine to get married. I would’ve messed it up if I’d done it earlier.”
“You also hadn’t met the right person.”
“That’s true, too.”
“How’d you meet Mary Alice?”
“She’s the sister of one of my firefighter friends, and let me tell you, I was hesitant to go down that road again.
I made him swear to me that if I decided to end things with her, it wasn’t going to be a deal breaker between us.
He said as long as I was upstanding in all my dealings with her, we’d be fine. ”
“And you believed him?”
“I did. We were tight. He knew I was a good guy who wouldn’t be an asshole to his sister, and besides, he saw that I really liked her after we met at a fire department picnic.”
“So your good friend became your brother-in-law.”
“He did. He was best man at the wedding.”
“That’s a great story. Are you still close?”
“More so than ever after losing her. He and his wife have really stepped up for me and the kids. They’re my best friends.”
“I’m so glad you have them.”
“And many others I’d be lost without. I feel extraordinarily blessed that way. I’ve heard that a lot of widows and widowers feel abandoned after the first months pass and real life sets in. My people have remained faithful.”
“Most of mine have, too.”
“Who’ve you lost?”
“A couple of mom friends who came in hot at first and then faded into the ether after a while. I’d only known them a couple of years, since our kids were in kindergarten, but I’d kind of hoped we’d go the distance together.”
“Why do you think they dropped out?”
“They don’t know what to say to me. I’m living their worst nightmare, and being around me is a reminder that it can happen to them, too. That’s my theory, anyway.”
“Lame.”
“Very, but from what I’ve read, it’s a common experience for widows.”
“It’s still lame.”
“No one wants to associate with tragedy and sudden death. It’s too real for them.”
“Poor babies. How do they cope?”
“It’s hard for them, Brad. Be nice.”
He laughs. “People are so messed up.”
“They really are, but we’re killing the widow game.”
“Hell yes, we are. The one thing I never wanted to be successful at.”
“Same. Can we put it on a résumé? ‘I’m an excellent widow and single mother.’”
“I’d give you the job.”
He surprises me when he reaches for my hand as if it’s something he’s done a million times before. “Is this okay?”
I nod and smile as I note his hand feels different than Spencer’s did. Brad’s is more calloused from hard work. In addition to his role with the fire department, he does carpentry and home renovation projects on the side. He’s continued to take a few of those jobs since Mary Alice died.
“Did you finish the project at your friend’s house?”
“Yep. All done. New everything in their main bathroom.”
“Are there photos?”
“Of course. I post them to Facebook, which is how I get more work. I’ll show you when we get to the restaurant.”
“Which do you like better? The renovation or the fire department?”
“I like them both for different reasons. With the fire department, I like the camaraderie with the people I work with and how you never know what’s waiting for you on any call.
There’s a level of excitement to it you don’t get with any other job.
I also dig the health insurance and retirement plan.
With the reno, I like setting my own schedule and picking projects that appeal to me. ”
“Is there a way you could go part time with the fire department and focus more time on the reno?”
“I’ve been thinking about that. I’d be crazy to give up the retirement and health benefits at this point, but maybe working two shifts a week instead of four would make more sense with everything else.”
“Would they go for it?”
“They already offered me a reduced schedule if needed.”
“That’s good of them.”
“Well, it’s easier to do that than lose me and have to start all over training someone new.”
“Still, it’s nice to have options.”
“It is, but my biggest challenge will be managing my kids when I go back to work full time. Daphne is in school during the day, and Drake is in daycare, but if I have to work overnight shifts on occasion, that becomes more complicated. The grandparents will help, but it’ll be a juggling act.”
“I can help, too. They’re welcome to stay with us any time you need help.”
“That’s nice of you to offer, but you have your hands full enough without adding them.”
“The kids entertain each other. It works out great. I’d love to watch them any time you have to work overnight.”
“Well, thanks. That’d solve a rather pressing concern as I contemplate going back to work. The grandparents are enjoying their occasional travels, and I’d never want to clip their wings by saddling them with regular kid duties.”
“I’ve got you covered.”
We cross the 14th Street Bridge from the District into Northern Virginia. “Where’re you taking me, anyway?”
“A place I know in Arlington, hopefully far enough off the grid that no one will bother you there.”
“Thank you for thinking of that. I still can’t believe people recognize me because of my sister. The fundraiser was such a blessing, but that and Spencer’s death also raised my profile, which I so didn’t want.”
“They must feel bad about that part of it.”
“They do, but it’s not their fault. I’m so proud of them both.”
“They seem like an incredible couple.”
“Oh, they are. Super devoted to their family, each other and their work.”
“Mary Alice had a girl crush on your sister. She said she was a badass.”
“She is, but don’t tell her I said that. It’ll go straight to her fat head.”
He gives my hand a squeeze that sets off a riot of sensation throughout my body. It’s been such a long time since I’ve been touched by a man that I’m totally overreacting to innocent handholding.
“Your secrets are safe with me.”
“That’s good to know, and likewise.”
He takes a right into a parking lot. “This is the place. It’s nothing fancy, but the food is good, and people tend to mind their own business. I’ve seen congresspeople and other DC types in here, and no one makes a thing of it.”
“Sounds perfect. Thanks for thinking about the public aspect.”
“Let me help you out so you don’t break an ankle.”
He comes around the truck to give me a hand out.
“That’s a big drop.”
“Mary Alice hated this thing and refused to ride in it.” He tucks my hand into his arm and glances my way. “Is it okay to tell you that? I’m not sure what the rules of dating as a widow are.”
“Mention of late spouses is allowed and encouraged. I don’t understand why anyone would be jealous or threatened by someone who’s dead.”
“Exactly. How stupid is that?”
“It’s nice to know I’m hanging out with someone who’s capable of all the things that come with a serious relationship, you know?”
“Definitely an advantage to dating someone who hasn’t experienced what we have.”
He holds the door to the restaurant for me and ushers me in ahead of him into a cozy space with almost every table occupied and a crowd at the bar. “I have a reservation for two,” he tells the hostess. “Brad Albright.”
“Right this way,” she says, smiling as she leads us to a quiet table in the back corner.
On the way, I notice a woman looking at me, but I keep moving, hoping she doesn’t recognize me.
“I saw that lady looking at you,” he says when we’re seated. “Do you feel okay about staying?”
“I’m not sure she knows who I am. I hope she doesn’t. And yes, I’m fine with staying. This is nice.”
“Glad you like it. I haven’t been here in ages, since before…”
“Is it hard to come back?”
“Not like I thought it would be. I debated bringing you somewhere I’d been with Mary Alice, but I knew it was more private than a lot of other places we could’ve gone.”
“It’s totally fine. You did good. Thank you for thinking of the privacy factor.”
“Brad? I thought that was you! Welcome back.”
He’s startled by the appearance of a pretty young woman with dark blonde hair in a ponytail and a friendly smile. She glances at me and does a double take when she realizes I’m not Mary Alice.
“Oh, um…”
“Hey, Callie. How are you?”
She’s so rattled to see him with someone other than his wife that she can barely function. “I, um, I’m good.”
“Did you hear that my wife died last year?”
“I didn’t. Oh my goodness. I’m so sorry. She was a lovely person.”
“Yes, she was. Callie, this is my friend Angela. Angela, Callie and her husband are the restaurant owners.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” I say.
“Yes, you, too.” She’s obviously undone by the news of Mary Alice’s passing. Her attention returns to Brad. “Are you… You’re doing okay?”
“As well as can be expected. Single parenthood is a big adjustment.”
“I’m sure it is. Well, I’ll let you enjoy your dinner. It’s nice to see you.”
“You, too.”
“Sorry,” he says. “That was awkward. I figured everyone knew by now.”
“No need to be sorry.”
“I shouldn’t have brought you to a place where they knew her.”
“It’s no big deal. Really. It’s bound to happen to both of us.”
While I honestly believe that’s true, the encounter with Callie has changed the entire vibe of the evening—and not for the better.