Chapter 20 Felix
FELIX
We find Sadie and Ian in the living room watching Ellie on the floor with Beast. After trotting over to greet us, the mutt races back to Ellie, who’s holding a braided rope with knots. As she lifts the rope toy in the air, Beast’s tail wags so hard his whole back end starts to shake.
“Ellie dog!” the toddler shrieks, throwing the toy. It goes approximately two feet. Beast retrieves it anyway, bringing it back to drop at her feet. “Ellie dog!”
That’s pretty much what she exclusively calls him, apparently unable to reconcile the fact that Beast is a dog but not her dog.
Sadie takes one look at our faces and smiles. “How’d it go?”
“Really good.” Piper holds up the strip of photos, and my heart trips over itself all over again. Even with photographic proof, I still can’t believe this is happening. “We have pictures.”
“Let’s have a look,” Ian says.
Piper hands them over, and both Sadie and Ian lean in closer.
I’m shocked by the pride that swells in my chest, as if I’ve done anything other than contribute sperm to make this perfect baby.
But watching them coo over the tiny features only strengthens my resolve to do more—both for the baby and Piper.
“Oh, Pip,” Sadie says, her smile widening. “Look at that little kiwi fruit.”
“Right?” Piper sits on the couch next to her sister, leaning her head on Sadie’s shoulder. “I’m having a baby.”
“A perfect wee nugget,” Ian says, studying the grainy images. Then he looks up at me with a grin. “I hope the baby looks like Piper.”
“Same, bro. Same.”
“That’s rude.” Sadie swats his shoulder.
“Just being honest.” His expression shifts to something more serious. “Congrats, though. I mean it.”
“Thanks.” I should say more, but I don’t know what, or if I could even get any other words out around the ball of emotion lodged in my throat.
Ellie abandons Beast and climbs into Piper’s lap, reaching for the photos. “What dat?”
“Just some pictures, sweetie.” Piper redirects her attention to Beast, who’s wagging his tail hopefully. “Beast is ready for more fetch.”
“Ellie dog!” She scrambles down and grabs the rope toy.
Piper watches her for a moment, then glances at Sadie. “I’m glad you brought him over. It’s nice having canine energy in the house again. Even if it’s from Beast, the chicken dog.”
“When you’re ready,” Sadie says, her voice gentle, “I’ll help you find a new four-legged friend. Not to replace Maxie, of course, but so you don’t feel alone.”
Am I chopped fucking liver? I’m sure Sadie doesn’t mean it like that. And I ignore her words because I haven’t officially stepped up. Maybe that needs to change.
Piper shakes her head. “I’ve got enough on my plate right now. First, I need to figure out the job situation.”
“About that.” I take a step forward. “You don’t have to rush into anything.”
She looks confused, like she’s not in any way picking up what I’m laying down. “I’m not going to desert you and Ellie, if that’s what you’re thinking.” My heart starts to beat like crazy in my chest. Because what in the world am I trying to say?
“Is that what you’re thinking, Felix?” Sadie asks slowly.
“No…not exactly…I mean…” I’m fumbling here, my mind racing as fast as my heart.
Ian visibly cringes, then makes a slashing motion across his throat with one finger, like he knows I’m about to step in it.
But I can’t stop now, even though I still have no idea where I’m going with this. I focus on Piper, grounding myself in her clear gaze and those ultrasound pictures she’s still holding. “I mean, you don’t need to worry about money or finding a new job right away. You’ve got me.”
Her eyes widen a fraction, and her gaze cuts to Sadie for a moment before returning to me. “We’ve talked about this, Felix.” Her voice is measured. “I can’t just—”
“We should get married.”
The words are out before I can stop them, hanging in the air like a bomb that just detonated in the cozy living room. Ellie keeps playing with Beast, completely oblivious to the fallout about to land on me. But Piper, Sadie, and Ian go completely still.
“Excuse me?” Piper whispers.
“A wedding. You and me.” Now that I’ve said it, I’m doubling down. It makes a strange sort of sense, at least in my heart. “Your job can be as my wife. I’ll take care of you, the baby, and Ellie if I end up keeping her. We’ll be a family.”
Yeah, I like the sound of that. A family of my own.
Except Piper’s staring at me like I suggested we join a cult. “Have you lost your mind?”
“As proposals go,” Ian says slowly, “that was stupendously bad.”
Sadie elbows him, but she’s not looking much more supportive. “Felix, maybe you should—”
“I’m serious.” I drop onto the sofa–fucking weak knees–but keep my focus on Piper, whose hazel eyes are filled with an emotion I can’t read. I don’t think it’s excitement, though, which…okay, I get that. But it’s a legit idea. “I’ll get you a ring with a diamond you can see from outer space.”
Ian snorts, and I resist the urge to flip him the bird. Where’s the brotherly love when a guy needs it? “Come on, Hart. We’re good together. This could work.”
“‘Your job can be as my wife?’” Piper repeats, her voice climbing. “Did you seriously just say that?”
“I meant—”
“I know what you meant, Felix. I should give up on having my own life, my own career, my own identity, and become Mrs. Felix Barlowe, my entire existence revolving around you and showing off the giant diamond you’re going to put on my finger.”
Oh, shit. When she puts it like that, stupendously bad doesn’t even cover it. “Piper, I didn’t mean—”
“Just like Bradley wanted. Just like everyone thinks I need. Poor little Piper, so lost and helpless. She obviously needs a big, strong man to take care of her.”
“That’s not what I’m saying at all.”
“Then what are you saying?” Her eyes are blazing now, and…fuck, this is going so very wrong. “Because it sounds like you’re trying to turn me into some kind of trad wife fantasy.”
She stands and heads for the stairs, not waiting for an answer.
I also get up like I’m going to follow her. “Piper wait—”
Only, she’s gone. A moment later, the sound of her bedroom door slamming echoes through the house, cutting off whatever pathetic excuse I was about to make.
Ellie continues to happily babble to Beast as he follows her around the main floor of the house. At least someone survived my stupidity unscathed.
“Well,” Ian says with a grimace, “that went well.”
I drop my head into my hands as I sit down again. “Shut up.”
“As proposals go—”
“I know, bro. Giant fumble.”
Sadie is staring at me with an expression I’ve never seen on her face before. Sadie is usually the sweet, mild-mannered one. But right now, she clearly wants to go full mama grizzly on my ass.
“You need to understand something, Felix.” Her voice is quiet but has an edge to it that makes my shoulders go ramrod straight. “My sister might be young, but she can handle her own life without someone trying to fake rescue her.”
“That isn’t what I was—”
“It’s time for her to stand on her own two feet without being rescued or running away,” Sadie cuts me off. “It’s part of her book club bucket list challenge. You need to respect that.”
“I do.” If I’ve learned one thing from hanging out with my brother’s wife, it’s that you don’t mess with the book club.
Ian laughs like he can read my mind. “Oh shit, you’re going to incur the wrath of the book club. Those ladies will shank someone who tries to take down one of their own.”
“I’m not trying to take down anyone,” I protest. “Especially not Piper.”
Sadie stands, poking me hard in the shoulder, and I’m reminded that she trains dogs for a living. She’s a woman who knows how to establish dominance. “Then do better.”
She picks up Ellie, who protests leaving Beast, and heads upstairs. I hear her knock softly on Piper’s door, murmured voices, and then the door closing.
I close my eyes and lean my head back on the couch cushions. Something furry climbs into my lap. Beast gets comfy on my thighs, his weird little chicken-dog mug inches from mine, and starts licking my chin like he’s a therapy dog who knows I need comfort.
“At least someone likes you,” Ian observes.
I open one eye to glare at my brother. “Fuck off.”
“For a guy known for his charm and flash, you really are in over your head here.” Ian’s grin is wide and completely unsympathetic. “As your older brother, I love it.”
“Fuck. Off.”
“Already established that.” He leans forward and points that big brother finger in my direction, clearly enjoying this. “But seriously, Felix. That was epically awful.”
“Already established that.” I repeat his words back to him as I scratch behind Beast’s ears. “I just wanted to fix things and—”
“You can’t fix Piper. She’s not broken.” Ian’s voice loses some of its teasing edge. “She needs to figure out who she is without feeling like people are trying to manage her life.”
“I know.”
“Do you, though?” Ian raises an eyebrow. “Because it sounded like you were trying to turn her into one of your responsibilities. Something to be checked off a list.”
The words sting, because they’re true. It’s exactly what I was doing. It’s what I do.
“I’m in way over my head,” I admit.
“Yeah, you are.” Ian grins again. “Stick with the dog.”
As if on cue, the animal shifts his position, his back end facing me, and lets out a long, rumbling fart directly onto my lap.
The smell hits me like a defensive lineman smackdown.
“Hell, no.” I try to push the dog off, but he’s surprisingly solid for something that looks like it was assembled from spare parts. “What the hell do you feed this thing?”
Ian is laughing so hard he can barely breathe. “That’s pure karma, brother.”
Beast, completely unbothered, settles into my lap and closes his eyes.
“I hate this dog,” I mutter.
“No, you don’t,” Ian wheezes. “He’s your only fan in this house at the moment.”
He’s not wrong. If Ellie was old enough to understand the way I’d just stepped in it with her “Pi”, I’m sure she’d be as disgusted with me as Sadie is.
From upstairs, I can hear the muted sound of voices. I hope to God Sadie’s able to talk Piper down from rightfully wanting to murder me. Ellie’s giggle filters through, and I think about how happy Piper makes her. Both of us, if I’m being honest.
Beast farts again.
“Seriously?” I glare down at him, but he just looks up at me with his weird little bug eyes.
“Get used to it, Felix,” Ian says, still grinning. “This is your life now.”
He’s right.
My life is a woman upstairs who hates me, a toddler who isn’t mine even though she feels like she is, a brother who’s enjoying my suffering way too much, plus a flatulent chicken-dog using my lap as his personal throne.
And somewhere in all this chaos, there’s a baby. Mine and Piper’s.
I hope I can figure out how to be the man they both need before I screw this up beyond repair.
Beast shifts again.
“Don’t you dare,” I warn him as I brace myself.
He dares.
“That’s it.” I place him on the floor, and he trots over to Ian, who immediately scoops him up.
“Come here, buddy. Daddy doesn’t mind your gas.” Ian scratches the dog’s head. “Some people can’t appreciate a good fart.”
“There’s nothing good about that.” I wave a hand in front of my face. “That dog needs an exorcist.”
“That dog…” Sadie’s voice comes from the stairs. “Can hear you.”
My sister-in-law doesn’t look quite as murder-y as before as she approaches, which I’m taking as a good sign.
“Is Piper okay?” I ask.
“She will be.” Sadie’s expression softens slightly. “She just needs some time.”
“I screwed up.”
“Yes, you did.” She moves to collect Beast from Ian. “You can also fix it.”
“What do I do?”
“Give her a little space. She needs to figure out her situation without anyone trying to rescue her.”
“Space is also what we’re going to give you,” Ian adds as he stands and follows Sadie toward the door. I kind of want to beg them to stay, but that makes me seem like a huge wimp. “Good luck, man.”
“I’m sorry, Sadie,” I call to my sister-in-law.
She turns and gives me a sympathetic smile, which I also consider a good sign. “I’m not the one you need to apologize to. But, pro tip, Felix. Next time you want to propose to someone, maybe don’t lead with ‘your job can be as my wife.’”
“Noted,” I say weakly.
“You’ll be fine,” Ian assures me, but I’m not certain either of us believes it. “But when you’re ready to try again, run the proposal by me first.”
“So you can tell me how badly I’m about to screw up?”
His grin is all annoying big brother. “Exactly.”
They close the door behind them, leaving me in a living room that smells faintly of dog farts and my own failure. Upstairs, I hear Piper moving around. I want to go up there, apologize, and try to explain what I meant versus what I said.
But for once in my life, I’m going to listen to advice and give her space.
Even if it kills me.
Because I get now that the best way to help Piper isn’t to fix things for her. It’s to step back and let her fix them herself.
I just hope I haven’t already blown my chance to be part of her life once she does.