Chapter 24 Piper #2
Ellie grins. “Pretty,” she says, and leans in to give Sloan a smacking kiss on her cheek.
A pang of guilt pierces my heart when Sloane presses two fingers to the place where Ellie kissed her.
Sadie and Ian are having trouble starting a family, and Sloane might have limited options, while I’m apparently Fertile Myrtle, wallowing in my worry over a circumstance so many people dream of.
And even though it wasn’t planned, I love this baby already and appreciate how blessed I am that things have gone smoothly with this pregnancy so far.
Well, smoothly if I ignore the all-day morning sickness, which seems to be easing slightly.
“Hey, kid, am I chopped liver over here?” Avah waves her hands in the air, clearly trying to lighten the mood. “Do you have a pinecone and a compliment for me?”
It’s not as if Avah doesn’t know she’s drop-dead gorgeous with blonde hair, a killer figure, and more confidence than I’ve ever seen in one person. But lately, I’m beginning to wonder if her brash and sass might be hiding something. The same way my bluntness and sarcasm do.
“Ya,” Ellie says after a minute, nodding like Avah passed some invisible test. Then she heads back to her pile to pick out the perfect one.
“Want to talk more about how your brother is a bossy asshole?” Avah grins as she asks the question, but it’s more a baring of teeth.
“I think that’s an unwritten rule for tech billionaires,” Sloane concedes. “But I can’t complain because he’s been so supportive during all of this.”
“Maybe.” Avah makes a show of studying her nails, which are perfectly manicured. She’s wearing a long-sleeve turtleneck sweater, which might be lightweight, but seems odd given the temperature today. “But he needs to learn to share.”
That makes Sloane laugh. “Jeremy was never good at sharing.”
My phone vibrates, and I glance down at the message from Felix.
Felix: You guys good?
The simple question makes something twist in my chest. I tap out a response and hit send without thinking.
Me: Why wouldn’t we be?
“What’s wrong? You’ve got that pruny look again,” Avah tells me. “You don’t want to be a wrinkly hag in your mid-twenties.”
Perfect. One more thing to add to my list of concerns. Premature wrinkles.
“She wasn’t serious,” Sloane assures me.
“If it gets bad, you can do Botox.” Avah makes a face like duh, girl…you know I’m joking.
Except suddenly I’m not in the mood for teasing. “Listen to what Felix sent me,” I say, reading the text aloud. But when I glance at my two friends, neither of them seems offended on my behalf. Frustration bubbles up in my throat. “He doesn’t think I can handle Ellie on my own for the day.”
“Or,” Sloane says slowly, drawing out the word, “he’s checking in because he cares.”
“Not everything is a judgment on your capabilities, Pip,” Avah adds. “Maybe it was with Bradley, but Felix doesn’t strike me as the micro-managing type.”
I open my mouth to argue, then close it because…yeah, that tracks. And I’m bordering on unhinged when it comes to my doubts and fears and feelings for Felix Barlowe. I don’t even think I can blame hormones at this point.
“You said he’s doing some sort of NFL team bonding or whatever today,” Sloane continues. “It’s got to be stressful. Maybe he just wanted to touch base with the person who makes him feel grounded.”
The idea that I might be Felix’s grounding force, the way he’s become mine, has my heart melting faster than a popsicle on a summer sidewalk.
“I didn’t think about it like that,” I admit quietly.
“Of course you didn’t. You were too busy assuming the worst.” Avah’s tone is gentle despite her words. “But I’m gonna go out on a limb and say the guy who stress-bakes sourdough at five a.m. and researches high-altitude prenatal nutrition actually cares about you for real.”
Before I can respond, a pinecone comes flying through the air. Avah catches it one-handed without even looking, which is both impressive and very her.
“Nice aim, girl,” she says, examining it with mock seriousness. “Also, excellent pinecone selection. Ten out of ten.”
“Ava catch!” Ellie giggles and launches herself at Avah for a tight hug. “Good grl!”
“Yeah, yeah. Kids love me.” Avah’s deadpan delivery makes me snort. “They can sense that I’m never going to attempt to feed them vegetables.”
“You’re going to make a heck of a mother someday,” Sloane teases.
The darkness I keep catching glimpses of flickers across Avah’s face again, but it’s gone before I can pin it down.
Satisfied that she’s given each of us the perfect pinecone, Ellie toddles over to me and climbs into my lap.
She smells like sunscreen and graham crackers, and as she burrows against my chest, her thumb finds its way to her mouth.
She settles in, letting out a sigh that holds so much trust, it makes my throat go tight.
“Aww,” Sloane says softly. “Look at you two.”
“You look good with Felix’s kid in your lap,” Avah adds, none of her usual sarcasm in the observation.
The words hit me harder than they should. Ellie isn’t Felix’s—not really. And neither am I. We’re both just temporary pieces in a life he’s still trying to decide if he wants.
I want him to choose both of us.
The realization crashes over me with the force of a dam breaking, flooding every inch of me with need.
I want to be his. For the three of us—eventually four—to be a family.
Sure, it’s messy and complicated and nothing like what I planned, but it would belong to me.
I want more mornings of waking up to the scent of sourdough and more nights of Felix memorizing every inch of my body.
Most of all, I want to stop pretending this arrangement is temporary when everything in me is screaming that it should be permanent.
“I should head home to get her down for a nap.” I clear my throat when the words come out rough. “It’s past her usual time.”
As if they’re somehow attuned to my inner turmoil, my friends gather the remains of our picnic while I hold Ellie, who’s already growing heavy-lidded against my shoulder.
“Do you want a ride back to the bookstore?” I ask Sloane as she hands me the folded blanket.
“I’ll walk. It’s only a few blocks.”
I give her a one-armed hug, mindful of Ellie. “Thanks for being up for an impromptu picnic. I needed this.”
“Any time, Pip.” She waves as she heads toward Main Street, leaving Avah and me to walk toward the parking lot.
Ellie startles awake when a car horn sounds, then reaches for Avah with both arms. “Ava up!”
“Oh, aren’t I the lucky one,” Avah says as she settles the toddler on her hip with surprising ease. “I thought you only had eyes for Piper.”
“She’s an equal opportunity cuddler.”
“That’s a good quality in an ankle biter.”
We cross the park toward where our cars are parked in the small lot beside Town Hall. The afternoon heat shimmers off the pavement, and Avah looks visibly uncomfortable in her long-sleeve sweater.
“I need to get back into the central air.” She shifts Ellie to her other hip. “It’s too darn hot.”
Concern prickles at the base of my skull. “Maybe you shouldn’t be wearing a turtleneck in the middle of summer in Colorado.”
“Fashion doesn’t care about weather,” she says lightly, but there’s an edge to her voice.
We reach my Jeep, and Ellie pats Avah’s cheeks while I dig in the diaper bag for my keys.
“Found them,” I say just as the toddler reaches up and tugs at the collar of Avah’s turtleneck.
The fabric pulls down before Avah catches the girl’s hands, revealing a dark purple bruise on her neck. It’s not a hickey. I’ve seen enough of those over the years to know the difference. Her skin is marred by finger-shaped marks that make my stomach drop.
Avah yanks up the collar and deposits Ellie into my arms with more force than necessary.
“What’s going on?” I whisper.
“It’s nothing.” She focuses on fishing her keys from her purse.
“That bruise isn’t nothing, Avs.” I place a hand on her arm and step in front of her, forcing her to meet my gaze. “It looks like someone strangled you.”
She barks out a brittle laugh. “Geez, Piper. Dramatic much?” She pulls away from me and inclines her head toward Ellie. “Might want to earmuff the kid.”
I dutifully cover Ellie’s ears with my hands. “Well?”
“Jonathan and I just get a little rough in the bedroom sometimes.” She waggles her eyebrows like she’s letting me in on some scandalous secret. “It’s actually pretty hot.”
Everything in me screams that she’s lying. There’s a tremor in her hands and a forced casualness in her tone that feels wrong.
“Avah—”
“I really need to get back to work.” She unlocks her car with a click. “Jonathan’s expecting me for a marketing meeting.”
Right. Because she’s working for her fiancé’s financial firm now. Totally enmeshed in his life. And I have a bad feeling about all of it.
“I can help—”
“With what?” There’s something fierce in her gaze when it slams into mine again, like she’s a wild animal that’s been cornered.
“You’ve got plenty to deal with on your own, Piper.
” She starts ticking off my problems on her fingers.
“You’re pregnant, unemployed, and living with a man you can’t figure out if you love or hate.
You’re helping to raise a kid who isn’t yours.
And, oh yeah, attending a wedding with your ex-fiancé and his new wife.
” Her blue eyes narrow. “Don’t invent problems for me because misery loves company. ”
I take a step back, stung by her words.
Guilt and remorse flash in her eyes for just a second before she locks down her expression. “I’m sorry, Pip. That was…I shouldn’t have…” She presses her fingers to her temples. “I’m fine. Really.”
She slides into her car before I can respond, the door closing with a decisive slam. I stand there in the parking lot with Ellie, watching the BMW pull away too fast, and knowing that my friend is anything but fine.
“Ava bye-bye.” Ellie waves at the retreating car.
“Yeah, Bean. Bye-bye.”
But not for long. Avah might have shut me down, and she might be right that I have my own mess to sort through, but I know that look in her eyes. I saw it too many times during my ER rotation. On the faces of women who came in because of accidents but with stories that didn’t add up.
On the way home, Ellie falls asleep in the car seat, her stuffed elephant clutched in one fist. I grip the steering wheel and make a silent promise.
I might be a hot mess, still trying to figure out how to stand on my own two feet and build a future that’s mine, not one handed to me by someone else.
But I sure as hell know how to stand up for a friend.
And whether Avah wants it or not, I’m going to have her back. Because something is very wrong, and I refuse to look away.