37. Jake
37
JAKE
I drive home with the windows cracked, willing the crisp night air to clear my head. My grandfather’s house is dark when I pull down the long driveway, which is disappointing because I’d love to share this night with someone.
I want to share it with Iris, but I’m giving her the space she asked for. Despite the sense of emptiness inside me, exhaustion takes over when I close my eyes, and sleep comes easy.
The next morning, I head to the main house before eight. Grandpa and I have a meeting with the foundation’s senior staff, one I’m not as prepared for as I should be. I’ve spent the bulk of my time the past couple of days enmeshed in the world of my new story, determined to give Ellie Spaulding the farewell she deserves.
When I walk in, he’s at the kitchen counter, bent over his daily crossword puzzle.
“Are you ready to head out?” I ask.
“Grab a cup of coffee and have a seat.” He keeps his gaze lowered.
“Should I take it to go so we can talk in the car? I don’t want to be late for?—”
“We aren’t going to be late,” he says, his voice clipped.
A quick glance at my watch says otherwise, but I won’t argue.
I add a splash of creamer to the dark brew, then sit down next to him at the island, his thick fingers tapping on the granite countertop.
“Are you planning to move the foundation’s headquarters to Austin?”
I blink, caught off guard. “Where did you hear that?”
“Is it true?”
“I’ve been considering it.” I place my mug on the counter with a decisive clink. “Nothing’s finalized yet.”
“You bet your ass it isn’t.”
I rub a hand across my jaw and force myself not to look away from his sharp gaze. “It’s not a big deal, Grandpa. It won’t change?—”
His face darkens. “It would change everything. You want to uproot the foundation I spent a good portion of my life building in this community. How is that not a big deal ?”
“There will still be a presence here,” I answer. “We’ll keep a satellite office to manage the local grants, but Austin is a bigger stage to expand our reach. Help more people. Isn’t that what you want?”
“The Texas office was never meant to be the headquarters, and I don’t give a rat’s ass about a bigger stage. This foundation means something to this town, Jake.”
“Nothing needs to change—for a while.”
“For a while,” he repeats. “Jake, this is my life’s work, my tribute to your grandmother and what this community meant to her. Moving it sends a message, and not a good one.”
“We need to grow if it’s going to keep making an impact.”
“You sound like your father.” Disappointment and challenge clash in his eyes. “That’s not a compliment.”
His words feel like a slap in the face. “Fine. We’ll keep it based here. Like I said, nothing is finalized. Why is this such a big deal, and how do you even know?” No one knows I’m not planning to stay except... “Did Iris say something to you?”
He inclines his head. “She raised her concerns to Daniel. Jake, you can’t run away when things get real. If that’s all this town means to you?—”
I should respond to his run-away remark, but one word fills my head. “Concerns?”
Did Iris purposely throw me under the bus? I wonder if this has something to do with last night. It was clear she felt betrayed by the fact that I hadn’t told her first about my writing, and while I’d understand, it’s hard for me to believe she’d channel that into this kind of retribution.
He lets out a slow breath. “You have a good career, son. One that means something to you and a lot of fans around the world. Maybe you should focus on?—”
“I want this, Grandpa. It’s why I’m here.”
“Yet you’re willing to leave at the drop of a hat.”
“You don’t get it.” I feel like a kid caught with my hand in the cookie jar. “Austin isn’t about me. It’s a better location. The connections and infrastructure?—”
“Running back to Austin isn’t going to fix your life, Jake. You need to stop running and figure it out for yourself.”
I can’t answer because his words slice across my chest, stealing my breath.
“So what next?” I manage after a few seconds.
He shakes his head. “I’ve said it before, you’re my greatest legacy. But the foundation belongs here, Jake. If you can’t see that...see what you’re throwing away by leaving, then maybe you should.”
He leans back, his expression softening. “I canceled the meeting this morning. Take the time you need, Jake. But if you decide to stay, you need to be prepared to stay for real.”
I flinch at the finality in his tone. “Thanks for the advice.”
He doesn’t respond, just goes back to his crossword.
I stalk back toward the apartment, then switch direction and climb in the truck, needing to get away.
Part of me thinks it would be easier to leave. Go back to Austin and not worry about messy emotions or complicated relationships or letting anyone down.
Would Iris care if I left? Or would it be more proof that I was never worth trusting in the first place? My chest aches as the truck speeds down the two-lane highway. Maybe she’s better off without me. Maybe they all are.