13. Neve
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Neve
I pull the curtain closed angrily.
“They are still out there.” I say, frustrated at their heartlessness.
“The reporters will always chase the story, Neve.” Luke says, not sounding bothered in the least. “Besides, our family needs sympathy now. If the media can give us that my campaign might take off again.” He huffs.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I shout. “That’s all you care about? The media, the campaign, what people think - you sound like dad and look where that got him.” Tears spike the back of my eyes and the flood down my cheeks. I can’t believe Luke is talking about this when our father only died two days ago - and since then the media has not been sympathetic.
I pick up yesterday’s newspaper and slam it down on the table in front of Luke.
“Hey, I’m trying to work here.” He snaps.
“Does that look like sympathy to you?” I growl, pointing at the front-page article about my father and the massive amounts of debt he was actually in - showing how deep his bad habits went. We had no idea. We didn’t know he was into hookers, drugs or gambling. But his bank accounts and the trust accounts and - well - our entire lives - are now fucked.
He took everything from us and died, leaving us with less than nothing.
“We are going to be homeless in less than a month if I don’t pull something together for this campaign.” Luke shouts angrily. “Can’t you see that. We don’t have any other options, Neve. This is it. This is our way out.”
“Bullshit. Politics destroyed this family. I say we sell everything - clear the debt - take whatever little we have left over and start again. We don’t have to have this big, crazy life, staked by cameras every time we blink - we can be normal.”
Luke laughs.
“We will never be normal, Neve. Do you really want that, anyway? A boring life. A quiet life?”
I sigh, brushing away my tears with the palm of my hand. “I want - I don’t want this.” I gesture towards the window, the closed curtains hiding fifty reporters camped outside the house.
“Well, you have this, and you have to learn to deal with it.” Luke snaps.
I shake my head. He’s exactly like my father. Identical. Cold. Using the campaign to numb any emotions he might dare to feel.
I walk over to my brother and place my hand on his shoulder.
“Don’t do what dad did, ok.” I sigh, squeezing his shoulder.
“What do you mean?” he asks, abrupt and annoyed.
“Don’t forget that you have people who love you. Don’t get so lost in the campaigns that it’s the only thing you care about.”
He brushes my hand off his shoulder. “Grow up, Neve. Look around. It’s too late for that. We are about to lose everything. ” He shouts.
“Not everything. We still have each other.”
He huffs, an indignant snort. “What good is that if we are living on the streets?”
“Luke—”
“Leave me alone. I need to work. You aren’t helping anything.”
“If there was something I could do you know I would do it.” I say tightly.
“Is that so?” he asks. His brows raised.
“I’ve always wanted to help with the campaigns. Dad never let me.”
“Well, I might take you up on that offer.” Luke says, his eyes turned down towards his laptop. The way he says it makes my skin crawl.
I’m losing my brother .
Sighing I shake my head. I lost my brother years ago when my father started grooming him to be who he is right now. Ruthlessly committed to the campaign.
“I’m going out.” I mutter, grabbing my handbag from the edge of the table where he’s sitting. He doesn’t reply. He doesn’t look at me. I am invisible to him. Like I don’t matter at all.
I wish someone would see me. For me. Not for what role I can play in the media to make our family look better. Just for me. A living breathing person with dreams and ideas and - a heart.
A heart that wants nothing more than to be loved.
As I walk back towards my car, ignoring the reporters screaming questions from outside the security gates, I think about Damion. Our marriage would not have lasted long. He is another cog in the political wheel. There was no love there. I tried to pretend. I tried to convince myself because I so desperately wanted my life to experience some joy. Something that was only for me. A man who adored me. But I knew he was not that man and somewhere inside me I also accepted that the marriage would be a nightmare. A clinical, strategic nightmare of a life. The perfect wife. The perfect marriage. But on the inside it would be cold and heartless.
I tug my door open and climb into the car.
I want passion. I want to feel something. I want someone who would fight for me, who would do crazy things to win me over and to keep me and to make me smile.
I want - Celso.
I shake my head, sighing as I start the engine.
I’m losing my mind.
I’ve lost my father. I’ve lost my brother. I’m so utterly alone.
I slam my hand against the hooter and rev the car, letting it jerk forward when the reporters won’t get out of the way so I can leave.
They are pressed up against my windows like savages. Cameras and microphones pointed at me. I rev again and think ‘fuck this’ as I slam the car into gear and drive.
Someone screams and people jump out of the way. I giggle as I escape their lockdown of bodies. Glancing in the rearview I can see everyone is fine, flustered and taken by surprise. Good. They are vultures. Nothing more.
I drive, not having any idea where I’m going - I want to get away from here. Somewhere far. Somewhere where no one knows me.
Of course, that’s impossible. People know my face several states over. I could drive for three days straight and not be anonymous.
My phone beeps and I glance at the screen.
A message from an anonymous number. Someone not in my phone book.
Unknown: I miss you. Are you doing ok? I’m sorry about what happened to your father.
I grab the phone and type a quick response, knowing that driving and texting is a terrible idea.
Me: Who is this?
Unknown: The man who you belong to. The only man in the world who can make you happy.
I shake my head, but I’m grinning. The audacity of this man is astounding. He is relentless. It’s like he refuses to give up no matter what is happening around him.
Pulling over to the side of the road because now I’m way too distracted to drive, I type my reply.
Me: Celso, how did you even get this number?
Celso: Anything is easy to find when you want it badly enough.
Me: You can’t always get what you want. That’s not how the world works.
Why am I smiling so much?
Celso: Watch me, angel. I always get what I want. And what I want is you.
I toss my phone onto the passenger seat, forcing myself to end this conversation. I can’t play games like this. I can’t flirt with him. He’s not good for me.
But my heart is beating too fast and I’m smiling so much my cheeks are hurting.
My phone chimes again and I can’t resist. I pick it up to read his message.
Celso: Meet me somewhere. We can go for coffee. We can just talk. I promise I will behave.
I bite down hard on my lip. Don’t do it, Neve. Don’t do it -
But it’s too late. I’ve already hit send.
Me: Pier seven. The one near the big red lighthouse.
Celso: I’m on my way, angel.
Fuck. What am I doing? Oh my fuck this is so bad.
I push the car into gear and head towards pier seven. My heart is fluttering with a thousand butterflies, my stomach is a tight knot of excitement. I haven’t felt this way since my first crush in junior high. Tingling and happy. He makes me feel so wanted. So desired.
He makes me feel like he would do anything to win me over.
And right now - even if it’s for today - one stupid choice - I need it. I need it more than anything.
Keeping an eye on my review mirror to make sure no one is following me, I don’t need some asshole reported grabbing photos of me secretly meeting Celso, I take the long way to pier seven.
By the time I arrive Celso is already there, leaning against his car, casual and cool, looking as sexy as ever in a pair of jeans and a tight black t-shirt that hugs his body and shows off how sculpted he actually is.
I park and he opens my door for me.
“Hi gorgeous.” He says seductively, holding his hand out for me to take .
I let him help me out of the car, but he doesn’t let go of my hand - instead he tugs me right up against his chest. He slips his arm around my waist and grabs the back of my head - and he kisses me. My brain is screaming at me not to do this, but my body is melting against his. I’ve been going through so much. I’ve been drawing in stress and worry and media and tension - and suddenly all I feel is calm.
His kiss is like a blanket of silence and safety that gets wrapped around me. His arm is like a weighted security locked around my body. His touch is a warmth I am so desperate to have.
His lips move against mine and I forget everything else.
It’s only this.
Only now.
Celso breaks off the kiss and leans back to stare into my soul with this gorgeous blue eyes.
“You promised you would behave.” I whisper.
He chuckles, stepping away from me completely. My body cold where he is no longer pressed against it. “I did. I promised that didn’t I. Sorry.” He grins.
I want to reach out and pull him back towards me, but I don’t. I’m already playing with fire. I can’t be throwing gasoline around.
“There’s a little taco stand around the corner from here. Walk with me.” He says, holding his hand out. I hesitate for a moment before I place my hand in his. Just for today, Neve. Because you need this. You are allowed to feel this, only for today.
I’ve never spent proper time with Celso before. Not alone, not one on one. I’ve never really taken the time to get to know him - for obvious reasons. Firstly, he is my best friend’s brother. Secondly, he is a murderous, dangerous criminal from the underworld.
But this afternoon I have to admit that I’m surprised.
Maybe it’s because I’m so desperate for attention - but he is warm, caring and genuine. He makes me laugh and to my utter shock, he seems sensitive and giving .
I don’t know if he’s fantastic at faking things to get what he wants - or if I’m seeing a side of him, I never knew existed. Either way, I go with the flow and let myself be lured by him.
Only for today.