17. Verity
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Verity
R ufino is staring at me with an intensity that chills me right to my bones.
Giving me permission to go home would not have been easy for him.
I know he doesn’t want me to leave.
But - he gave me a choice . Something I have not been given too often in my life. A choice to choose what I want. For whatever reason. Without explanation. He is letting me decide my future.
For that - I love him even more. Drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
“Verity.” My father snaps over the loud speaker of Rufino’s phone.
“Verity, listen to the man. Pack your things. I will have a car collect you within the hour. Tell me where I can send them.”
My eyes close for a moment. I take a deep breath.
My father’s response is so typical of him.
First, he isn’t asking anything - he’s just flat out telling me what is going to happen. He hasn’t given me any choice in the matter. It’s his needs and his wants regardless of the fact that I am my own person.
Second, he isn’t even coming to fetch me himself. He wants to send someone else. He doesn’t miss me. He’s not doing this because he can’t wait to see me or because he’s been worried sick that I was missing. He doesn’t love me. I’m not even sure he cares about me at all.
I am a possession that was taken from him and he wants me returned.
This is all to appease his ego. To regain his control over me.
I open my eyes, drawing from the strength that Rufino gives me with his love.
I’m done with the way my father treats me. I’m over his narcissistic bullshit. This is my life. I get to say what happens from here on out.
With a surge of adrenalin, panic, and anxiety bolting through me - I take another deep breath and answer.
“No.” I say, simple and blunt. As clear as possible. My voice just became a weapon against the years of living beneath my father’s strict rules.
“No?” he stammers into the phone. “Don’t you dare so no to me. Where the fuck are you? I am sending the driver now.”
“No, dad. I choose Rufino. I am staying here. I will not be coming back to your home. That isn’t where I live anymore.”
Rufino’s eyes are locked onto me and that gorgeous smiles of his is making me smile. My heart is swelling with confidence.
“How dare you do this to me? How dare you do this to our family? You have tainted our family name by marrying that scum. You will pay for this. I will tear them apart. I will destroy everything they have ever loved.”
“What about what I love, dad? What about what makes me happy? Do you even care? Are you so blinded by your own selfish demands that you can’t see that I have a right to choose?” I snap, heating with anger.
“You have no rights. You are my daughter until the day I die. I choose for you.”
I sigh.
“Not anymore, dad. My husband overrules your choices now. My life is with him.”
My father laughs, and it sends an icy shiver up my spine. I shudder and swallow hard, trying to shake off the horrible sensation.
“You will regret this, Verity. When your husband sees what I have in store for him, he will beg me to take you away.”
Rufino shakes his head. “It will never happen, Luca. She has made her choice. Be man enough to respect that.”
“Man enough? You fucking fool. I am going to kill you. I’m going to burn you to the ground.“
Rufino clicks the red button, and the line goes silent.
I want to throw up.
My stomach is churning like a washing machine and my legs are shaking I think I might collapse.
I stumble, grabbing the arm of the nearest chair I sit down.
Tears threaten to spill from my eyes again and I fight against them.
Crying won’t help you now, Verity.
The rollercoaster of emotions I’ve been on, in such a short time during that conversation are now in one single channel. Fear.
You wanted to go against your father - well - good job because now you’ve provoked him to where he wants to kill the man you love and it’s your fault.
My breathing becomes faster and heavier as panic sets in.
Rufino strides towards me. “Hey, breathe Verity, breathe.” He grabs me into his arms and holds me tight. “Just breathe. You don’t have to be worried about him. He can’t touch me.”
“He can.” I shout, pushing him away. “He can and he will. I told you - you don’t know what he’s capable of. Do you think I want to see you hurt? I can’t - Rufino - I can’t handle the idea of losing you.” I’m sobbing now, my words muffled by the thick lump in my throat and my eyes are blurry with salty streams of tears.
“Stop that.” He grabs my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. “Nothing is going to happen to me. And nothing is going to happen to you either. Your father has no power over you, Verity.”
He sounds so sure of himself. I wish I could be as confident, but I’m not.
Standing up I know I have to move. I have to walk or run or scream. The build up inside me is too much. I have to let it out.
Anything to release the growing fear.
I take a step away from Rufino.
“Come on, my love, talk to me.” He begs.
I shake my head. “No, I need space.”
He sighs when I walk away, but I can’t focus on that now.
I have to figure out a way to fix what I’ve done.
I’ve made a mistake by defying my father like this.
I want to appease him - but I don’t want to leave Rufino.
How can I do both?
Is it even possible?
I walk around the entire garden, moving fast, looking down at my feet - thinking - thinking - thinking. Ideas churning and being tossed away, useless. My father is a monster. Capable of monstrous things. I’ve always known that.
Fear clouds my thoughts.
One singular, constant looping idea. You’ve made a mistake. Your father will kill him. It will be your fault.
Rufino knows me well enough to give me space right now.
If he tried to talk to me in this state, I would just end up fighting with him and I’m so tired of fighting.
I walk around the garden for over an hour.
Thinking about my father, my options, and how I got us all into this mess.
The sun is sinking low on the horizon and the time splashes dark orange streaks across the sky my mind is clear enough to go back into the house.
Or I’m just too tired to think anymore. The adrenalin is depleted and now I’m an empty shell of anxiety.
The evening air is biting cold against my skin and as soon I walk through the patio doors into the living room, Rufino is there, wrapping a jacket over my shoulders.
“I was just about to come out and give this to you.” He says, dragging me right up against his body and holding me in such a way that I can’t push him from me even if I wanted to.
I don’t want to though. Resting my cheek against his chest I lean into him, enjoying the warmth and the comfort of his arms wrapped around me. When he holds me, I can imagine that nothing will ever happen.
I wish he could hold me forever.
“Dinner is ready. Roast chicken and sweet potatoes with mushroom sauce.”
“Thanks.” I whisper.
We sit in the living room in silence because I’m too tired to speak.
My body is so tense I’m struggling to finish my food. Rufino only dished up a small amount for me but it’s still too much.
“I’m going to bed, if that’s ok.” I mumble.
“Of course, it is. Do you want me to run you a hot bath?”
I look up at him, wondering where he gets the patience to deal with me. My father used to remind me I was a burden and an annoyance - that he wanted to send me away because he could handle me.
Rufino is fighting to keep me at his side.
It’s confusing.
My mind keeps taunting me and trying to tell me it’s fake somehow. That maybe he has an ulterior motive. Why would someone put themselves at risk like this for me?
Just me.
What if he gets bored with me and all the drama that seems to follow me everywhere? I’m careless. My father has said it a thousand times.
“Verity?”
“A bath would be lovely, thank you.”
“I’ll get it ready for you now.” He says, standing up. He kisses the top of my head before he leaves. My heart melts for him.
I really love him.
I wish I was certain about how this all ends.
After soaking in a hot bubble bath, sprinkled with dried rose petals and lavender and ylang ylang oil I am so relaxed that I can’t think. Which is amazing.
Rufino pulls the bed covers back so that I can climb underneath them and snuggle up against him. He wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me close, holding me.
“Rest, my love. Tomorrow is a new day, and we’ll figure it all out - I promise. No matter what happens it’s you and me together.”
I close my eyes and the world sinks away from me.
My father is holding a gun to Rufino’s head, and I am blinded with rage and fear.
“Let him go.” I scream.
“You should have made a different choice.” My father snarls at me.
Behind him a dark shadow is rising like thick black smoke. It creeps forward, dragging the room into darkness.
“Rufino.” I scream, fighting to get to him. But the shadow becomes thick and oil and I can’t breathe. I can’t speak anymore. It pours into my throat and I’m lying on the ground choking for air.
My father’s laughter comes from somewhere in the black ooze that’s drowning me.
“You should have made a different choice.” He says again and a gunshot fires, snapping through the air and making my body jolt with fright.
“Red.” His name is stuck in my throat, tight and locked away.
I crawl along the ground and my hands are sticky. When I look down at them, I see that blood has covered them. Blood that rises up around me.
“Red.”
But I know he’s gone. Somewhere in the back of my mind I know he’s not in the world anymore.
I wake with a fright, bolting up in bed I fight against the blankets that are tangled around my legs. I kick and scream and gasp for air.
Something grabs me and I turn to fight that too - but its Rufino.
He grabs my wrists and pins me down to stop me from lashing out.
“It was a nightmare, Verity. It’s me, it’s ok.” He says.
I blink against the dark room and take several deep breaths.
“You were gone.” I shudder at the memory.
“I’m right here.”
“But you were gone.” I whimper, choking back the tears.
He pulls the blankets lose from around me and readjusts them, then holds me, rocking me until I drift off to sleep again.
I don’t have another nightmare, but the memory of the first one won’t leave me alone. Even when I wake up the next morning, my chest is tight with fear.