Chapter 26
“Freshman year?” Zoe repeated as shock rippled through her. She sat up straight, wide-awake. Whatever effects still lingered
from her two drinks had completely disappeared.
He nodded and gave a small, slightly embarrassed smile.
“And you’re telling me now while I’m in the middle of the toughest job I’ve ever had?” She waved her hands in either disbelief
or shock—she didn’t know which.
“I almost told you so many times, Zoe.” He picked up his coffee and sipped it. He leaned back in the armchair and crossed
his legs. How was he so relaxed after dropping a major confession on her?
“When? Where? How many?” She replayed their past two weeks together but all she could focus on was last night, when she’d
stepped across the boundary of their friendship.
“Since I’ve been in DC, um, maybe three or four?” He listed all the times they’d been together alone, starting with their
impromptu taco picnic.
“I’m a fucking idiot. How did I miss the signs?” She sighed and rubbed her forehead.
“You’ve been stressed. I didn’t want to add to it,” he said with his usual kindness.
“And last night when you kissed me back?”
“The best kiss of my life.”
She snorted at his hyperbole. He’d traveled all over the country and worked with countless talented, beautiful actors. It wouldn’t surprise her if he had a secret fan club somewhere online.
“I mean it.” His eyes seemed to pierce into her doubts.
“I have no idea how many people you’ve kissed,” she said, partly to avoid what this conversation meant for their friendship
and partly because she still didn’t believe him.
“Enough to know.”
“Like Katie Mai?” Zoe cringed inwardly as the words flew out.
“Fuck no.” He scowled. “Why do you keep bringing her up?”
“She looks just like me.” She shrugged, embarrassed that she was jealous of another woman when Zoe had no claim on him.
“What? Please don’t tell me you’re doing the ‘all Asians look alike’ thing.” He shook his head. “Katie Mai looks nothing like
you.”
Derek uncrossed his legs and leaned forward to study her. His intense gaze was filled with desire. She shifted in her seat.
His eyes crinkled as his lips turned up slightly.
“You’re infinitely more beautiful,” he said softly. There was no hint of jest or patronization in his voice.
“Are you sure?” Zoe blurted in surprise. “She’s gorgeous. And beautiful enough to be an actress.”
“You could’ve been an actress, too.”
“My performance at our freshman New Faces showcase was an embarrassment to actors everywhere,” Zoe said as she waved off his
suggestion. Their theater program required all freshmen to introduce themselves to the rest of the department through a showcase.
Everyone had to perform a monologue, song, or scene, even if they weren’t acting majors.
“You were nervous. Totally normal. I was, too.”
“Your rendition of ‘Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin’’ was great. Mine—ugh. I don’t know why they make us tech kids act.” Zoe was pretty sure that experience had scarred her for life. She hated being onstage for any reason.
“It was probably my only chance to play Curly from Oklahoma! ” He shrugged. “Your monologue about how much you hated Miss Saigon was fantastic.”
“Not according to our department head’s horrified expression.”
They laughed.
“Because you tricked them. You rehearsed a completely different piece the night before.”
She shrugged. “That ‘Fuck Miss Saigon ’ monologue was my way of protesting. Both being forced to act and about the problematic Asian rep on Broadway.”
“That was when I knew I wanted you as more than a friend.”
“For my potty mouth?” She immediately thought about all the things she could do to him with her mouth.
“No, for standing up for our rights. It was fucking sexy. That’s what I’ve always loved about you, Zoe.” Now it was his turn
to shift in his chair. “You put your heart in everything you do no matter what others may think.”
“That’s a nice way of saying I care too much about things others don’t.” The last part wasn’t wrong, but outside of the Boss
Babes, he was the only one who made it feel like an asset and not a fault. She’d been accused of caring so much about her
projects that she wouldn’t compromise. But not everything required give and take.
“You’re deflecting,” he said quietly. “Z, tell me you feel something between us.”
Of course he could tell.
“I feel it,” she admitted both to him and to herself. Before she’d learned of the term for it, she’d known long ago that she needed an emotional connection with someone in order to be attracted to them. Maybe she’d felt like this about Derek longer than she’d realized. She’d ignored the signs because she had stuck him so firmly in the friend zone.
“Really? I mean, yes!” He pumped his fist into the air. “I knew last night’s kiss meant something to you.”
“I don’t just kiss anyone.” She tried to keep her tone light even though this entire conversation left her feeling unbalanced.
“I’m honored,” he replied. She searched his face to make sure he wasn’t teasing her but found no signs of it.
“Was that—our—kiss really the best?” Zoe asked quietly. She was annoyed that she needed the validation, but she did want to
be his best. In fact, she didn’t want him to kiss anyone else ever again.
“Yes. Because it’s always been you. Only been you.”
Maybe it’d always been Derek for her, too. How much time had they lost because she hadn’t allowed herself to see him as more
than a best friend? He could’ve been her partner and her lover.
He’d slung a sledgehammer into the wall that she’d put between them. She didn’t want to fix it. It was time to tear the whole
damned thing down.
“Derek,” she whispered, “I’ve never kissed anyone the way I kissed you last night.”
“Well, then kiss me again.”