14. Nerissa
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Nerissa
I keep sighing. Heavy and frustrated and nervous and anxious and wondering what the hell I am doing.
I hold another dress up against my body and stare at my reflection in the mirror.
I don’t feel pretty today, but I want to put in some effort for the restaurant we are going to. I have never been there, but I’ve read about it. It’s over the top extravagant.
I toss the blue dress aside and hold the red one up.
I roll my eyes and throw my hands in the air, sending the dress flapping after my gesture.
“What the hell is wrong with me?” I say out loud.
I’m just worried.
I shouldn’t even be going on this date. It’s a terrible idea.
Tuomo is a dangerous man, and I shouldn’t be involved with him on any level.
Ok, but I don’t really have a choice. I have to do this - get him off my back - let him see I’m not some fantasy that he has built me into over the years - I’m just me . That’s all.
I turn back to the mirror and hold the red dress up again. It’s the prettiest of all of them I have looked at so far.
It’s long, with a high slit that runs to my hip. I’ve only worn it once, and I was super self-conscious in it the entire time. But tonight is an elegant place and I must wear an elegant dress.
I don’t want to wear the flowery blue one and he’s already seen me in the black sequin one - that he got me - and the only other dress I own is a little too big for me.
So, fine. The red dress it is.
With the choice made I hop into the shower. It’s still early but blow drying my hair is a tedious task and it takes forever, so I need to get going on that now.
By seven thirty, when I look in the mirror, I don’t recognize myself.
I am looking at that confident girl who wore the black dress.
I grin.
I like her.
I enjoy being her.
It’s strange how a dress and some make-up can elevate your self-esteem. Is this what all the pretty girls do? Are they all just like me when you wipe off their make up?
I spin in front of the mirror, admiring how the dress flows out over my ass and how the slit teases the eye a bit, almost revealing my hip bone. I had to wear a G-string that sits high on my hips. I’m not used to it, and I hope it doesn’t annoy me all night.
I considered not wearing any underwear at all because I think the dress is worn that way, but I wouldn’t dare. That’s just not me.
I order an Uber on my phone and then hurry downstairs because it says it’s only a minute away.
I guess this is it. There is no backing out now.
Have dinner. Be polite. Let him down gently. Go home. Then this will all be over.
W alking into Restaurant Du’ Mort I am in awe of how beautiful the place is.
It is classy and extravagant, and I have to stop my mouth from hanging open as I walk through the reception area into the main dining room.
The hostess leads me to the table where Tuomo is waiting. He stands as soon as he sees me and shakes his head while his eyes graze over my body. He has a wide smile on his face. “Each time I think you can’t get any more beautiful than the last time I saw you - you keep proving me wrong.” He says, holding out his hand.
I place my hand in his and he pulls me towards him, kissing my cheek.
Tuomo pulls my chair out and then tucks it in again behind me. As he walks around to his side of the table, I steal a look at his ass, and the way his pants hug his thick, muscular legs.
He sits down and shifts his chair around the table to be closer to me.
Our legs are almost touching, but not quite. I can feel the heat of his body in proximity to mine. It is distracting me, and I pick up the menu to focus on something else.
“Have you ever been here before, little bird?” Tuomo asks, his eyes on me. I shift in my seat, taking a breath and reminding myself it’s just one date.
“No.” I giggle. “The places I go to are very different from this.”
He smiles. “I can make recommendations off the menu for you. I eat here often so I’ve tried quite a few of their dishes. I know which ones are sure to leave you satisfied .”
He raises his brow at me, tilting his head ever so slightly. He’s flirting, but at least he’s being subtle. A lot more subtle that insisting we get married after not seeing each other for six years.
Nothing on the menu makes sense to me anyway, and I am already overwhelmed just being here with him so, I decide to give him the lead. “Well, then I trust you to order us something amazing.” Closing the menu, I push it away from myself.
Tuomo orders champagne for us, and while we sip it, he tells me a little about his life and his business. He keeps things vague, and I know why. His business is not public knowledge for a reason. Oh sure, the cover business is - but not his real one. And his life, with his family - well, let’s just say they have always been secretive so why would that change now.
“What about you, little bird?”
“What about me?” the champagne bubbles are tingling through my blood, relaxing me.
“What made you study law?”
“Mm. I think it was because I like the idea of standing up for people who can’t stand up for themselves.”
“It’s because you have a soft heart, and you care about people. I have always admired that about you.”
“I’m not as noble as you think I am. I also did it because I want a good life for myself. I want to make something of myself.”
“Yes, you are driven - another thing I like about you. You focus on what you want, and you make sure you get it. You and I are a lot alike in that way.”
I want to hate him, I want to not be attracted to him, but the more we talk the more I lean towards him. Tonight, he is nothing like the man I fought off in my apartment. He is attentive and showering me in compliments.
Throughout my life I have struggled to accept compliments, because I know I am not pretty, but he is noticing all the other things about me - my strengths. My academic achievements and my heart.
It’s as though he is seeing me for who I am and it’s making me feel far more special than it should.
I really do need to be careful.
I know who his family is. I know who he is.
Tuomo pours me another glass of champagne as the food arrives.
He ordered two giant platters with of samples of everything.
“Tuomo, this is so much food.” I laugh.
“I talked the chef into making this just for us. A sample of all of my favorite things on the menu. This way - you can try everything and next time we come here you’ll know what you like.”
“Next time.” I grin but lower my face to hide it from him.
I should slow down with the champagne. In my mind it’s easy to blame those delightful little bubbles for my lapsing sense of judgment. But it’s just me - and how gorgeous he looks tonight - and how he is making me smile.
“Why didn’t you ever have a boyfriend, little bird? Were you saving yourself for me?”
He asks with a grin, but somewhere inside me my instincts tell me he really believes I was saving myself for him. That isn’t the case at all. I tried to have boyfriends, but they all ended up ghosting me.
Shrugging my shoulders I pick up my champagne glass and take a sip. “I guess I just didn’t find a man who was manly enough to stick around.”
“They are all fools. Those are boys, not men.” His eyes are burning into me. Dark brown, like chocolate pools. They’re divine. I want to look away, but I can’t. Instead, I smile, and bite my lower lip, knowing that I am being demure. I can see how his eyes grow darker when I do it. It is the first time a guy has looked at me this way and it’s incredible.
Tuomo adds a few other delights to my side plate and sounds really excited when he tells me to try the halloumi cheese deep fried in sesame seeds and secret spices.
He looks like a child when he gets excited. Like something hidden inside him that shines through. I stare at him, wondering if he ever lets anyone else see this side of him.