16. Nerissa
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Nerissa
T he warmth of the morning sunshine on my face, drags me awake.
At first it’s pleasant, but then the headache registers and I groan.
I open my eyes, blinking a few times trying to place my surroundings.
Oh crap.
Everything clicks into place when all the grogginess of sleep fades away in a panicked instant.
I’m lying on my side with my back to Tuomo. His arm is wrapped around my waist.
Shit.
Dammit.
What did I do?
The problem is that I know exactly what I did. I remember everything. Despite the raging headache from drinking too much I wasn’t so drunk that I can blame my stupid choices on the alcohol. I knew exactly what I was doing. Slowly lifting my head, I turn to look at him. He’s fast asleep still.
I need to get out of here.
I can’t handle any kind of conversation with him this morning. Last night I fell for everything he said - hook, line, and sinker.
All of my plans to have dinner and get home as quickly as possible faded the longer I stayed, because I enjoyed it.
Dinner was amazing. He was the perfect gentleman, and he made me feel more beautiful than I have felt in my life.
I drag the blankets off my side of the bed, lifting his arm so that I can sneak away from him without disturbing him. I put his arm back down on the bed and wrap the blankets over him. Then I grab my dress, panties, and heels and rush out of the room.
In the living room I get dressed in a hurry, glancing at the bedroom door, terrified that he will come out at any moment.
Where is my phone? I search the area around myself trying to remember what I did with it.
Oh, thank goodness, it’s on the kitchen counter. I must have left it there when he started kissing me.
Wow, that kiss was like nothing I had ever experienced before - in fact the entire night was pleasurable that my body is still tingling with delight.
I press my fingers against my eyes.
I lost my virginity. To Tuomo Vece.
I am such an idiot.
But the worst part is that if I had to go back in time I would do it all over again. It was incredible.
But it can’t happen again.
Double checking that I have everything I walk towards his front door, pulling it open, sneaking out and closing it behind myself. I breathe a sigh of relief outside in the hallway.
In the elevator, riding down the foyer, I book an Uber and keep telling myself that it’s all fine.
Everything is going to be fine because I had fun, I don’t regret what happened, I just have to be careful with how I handle things in the future.
But I’m convinced that Tuomo got what he wanted. The fantasy of being with me. He held onto it for six years and now he got it out of his system, and I think he will leave me alone.
I hate the fact that my heart pangs when I decide I can’t see him again. It should be the obvious choice, but part of me is arguing.
I hurry out of the building and out into the street. This red dress looks ridiculous in day light. The people walking past me are wearing jeans and slacks and normal dresses. It’s so obvious that I am wearing the same thing I wore last night, and I am doing the walk of shame.
I keep my eyes low, wishing for the Uber to arrive quickly. Even though I am embarrassed I can’t help smiling to myself. I know what it’s like to be with a man - and oh my word it is amazing. Whether or not I want to, I will fantasize about him for a while.
T he driver pulls up next to me and I duck inside.
He grins at me in the rearview mirror. “Did you have a fun night?” He teases.
“I did, thank you very much.” I snark back at him.
I click my phone to check my messages, now that I am out of his place, I want to see who was looking for me last night. Hayley, wondering why I am so quiet - and an email from the HR department at my new job. I click on it, eager to read it but my phone battery dies before it opens.
Dammit.
Excitement rushes through me and causes butterflies to dance around in my stomach. My new job is starting next week - it’s so close. That’s all I need to think about. That’s all that matters.
This whole thing with Tuomo should be over now that he got what he wanted, and I can carry on with my life.
T he Uber driver stops outside my apartment.
“Thank you.” I say, climbing out, carrying my high heels in my hands. I rush upstairs. I want to plug my phone in, get out of this dress and have a shower.
Then I can sit down and read the email from the law firm.
Lifting my legs up and tucking them beneath me I snuggle into my little one-seater chair with a cup of tea. With excitement I open the email and start reading it.
Nerissa,
We are excited to have you starting with us next week -
The email details my working hours, who I should report to when I arrive and a few of the things I can expect to be handling in my first week there.
I read it twice to make sure I don’t miss any information. Then I set my phone aside, grinning, and sip my tea, proud of myself.
I’ve worked so hard to get to this point and I deserve to take a moment and just soak it in. My mom would be proud. I wish she could be here to tell me that herself. But I know what she would say. Nerissa, you have always been the smartest girl, of course they want you to work there, they are lucky to have you. I grin, picturing her smile. She would hug me really tightly and I’d lean my head against her chest.
It’s hard not to have her around. But at least I know I am doing the best I can.
The next week is a whirl wind. I start this coming Monday, and I have a lot to do before then.
As I expected I don’t hear from Tuomo after our very passionate night together. This makes me a little disappointed, but it’s for the best. It’s what I wanted. Of course, it doesn’t stop me from thinking about him. He keeps sneaking into my thoughts, especially at night when it’s quiet and I am trying to fall asleep. I tell myself it’s ok to fantasize as long as I keep my distance from him. It sucks he ghosted me just like all the other guys, but instead of moping around and feeling rejected I focus on what I need to. Getting ready for my new job. On Friday I have lunch with Hayley, followed by a stressful shopping session while we try to choose a few key items for me to wear to work that are versatile enough for me to wear daily with no one noticing it’s the same item. I can’t afford to buy a whole new wardrobe. Especially not before I get paid. So, I need to be crafty. I can barely afford the things we find.
Thank goodness Hayley has an eye for fashion and an excellent ability to save money without compromising style.
Late on Friday afternoon I am standing in my little bachelor apartment with the new clothes spread out on my bed. Hayley is a star. She kept it simple and elegant. And every item she chose matches with the other items to create several unique looks.
That’s it.
I’m ready.
On Monday morning my new life begins, and everything falls in place for my perfect future.
I clear out a shelf in my closet that will now only be reserved for work clothes.
By the time I am done resorting my closet it’s late and I’m ready to crawl into bed.
My phone chimes and I rush over to it, expecting Hayley to be checking in with me.
My heart jumps into my throat when I see Tuomo’s name on the screen.
My hand shakes with nervous excitement.
I didn’t realize how much I wanted to hear from him until this exact moment.
I open the message and read it.
Tuomo: Hello, beautiful girl. I’ve been thinking about you the entire week. All I wanted to say was good luck. You are going to be brilliant.
A massive smile spreads across my face. The message is sweet and thoughtful.
Then I realize what is happening, and I put my phone down.
No, we don’t smile at messages from Tuomo Vece. We ignore them. Because he is not good for us.
I sigh, kicking my shoes off to get into my pajamas. His message is still on my mind when I climb into bed. I shouldn’t be rude. I should at least say thank you.
Picking up my phone I tire a quick response.
Me: Thanks. I’m really excited. I hope you have been well.
There. Done.
I shove my phone under my pillow. It chimes again and I hesitate. It’s him, but it if read it I will want to reply again.
No. I need to put a stop to this before it gets out of hand.
But as I fall asleep, I picture him - his gorgeous muscular body pinning me down and that devilish smile of his.