Chapter 6
I went with my brothers out to Camp Eden the following day. We arrived at eight in the morning and they put me to work varnishing finished sections of the tunnel. It was a massive undertaking—a long expanse of extended awning, encasing the path and bending through the woods. My brothers were specialty carpenters, and the Kennedys were sparing no expense when they chose to hire them. They expected excellence from me. I was taught how to properly varnish, and I was expected to do a perfect job.
I was happy to see the little boy running toward me that day while I was working. My shoulder was sore from holding the rag and brush all morning, and it was nice to take a break. Ethan was followed by his Nana, and I put down my paintbrush knowing my brothers would be fine with me taking a break to talk to them.
It was a good thing that I put my brush down because little Ethan didn't stop running until he jumped into my arms. I picked him up, situating him on my left hip since my right arm was sore. I locked eyes with him because he was so intent on locking eyes with me. He gave me no choice but to look at him. Those big brown eyes were just like his dad's—just like mine .
I was working in the shade, but I had on sunglasses, and I put them on the top of my head.
"I'm going to kiss and hug your face," he said, with a serious expression.
"Okay," I said reluctantly, since I wasn't sure how you would hug a face.
He held me by the cheeks, pulling me in and kissing me on each cheek. Then he leaned in and squeezed me. It was the most touching little hug I had ever experienced.
"Oh, my gosh, E, you're so sweet, dude. What's going on? You're hanging out with your Nana today?"
"Yeah because my dad is at work, and in two days you're coming over to my house to go swimming with me and see my dinosaurs."
"I'm pumped about the dinos. And didn't know you had a swimming pool. That sounds amazing. I'll have to remember my swimsuit."
"Do you have an alligator one?"
"No, should I? Mine has flowers."
He giggled and then squirmed for me to let him down, which I did. He reached up and held my hand. "My Nana said you can come with us to the water today." We started to walk to her, but she was almost to us by then. "We need to go see the water. I'm walking all the way," he insisted, holding my hand.
"I don't know if Sadie is able to. "
"It's okay if she wants to take lunch," Phillip said overhearing us.
"I actually brought a little lunch for us," Amanda said, holding up a bag. "That's why we're hiking to the shore."
"Yep, we're hiking to the water," Ethan said.
"He said he's ready for it. We're not taking the stroller, and he said he wants to hike all the way by himself."
"Well, I'm ready, too," I said, knowing Phillip had okayed it. It was a good thing I was ready because Ethan had a firm grip on my hand and it didn't seem like he was planning on letting go.
I took a second to wipe my hands and we set off on the trail.
I spent the next hour and a half with Nana and little E. He looked just like his dad, and he had me wrapped around his finger. We talked to each other like we had been friends my whole life which made for some funny dialogue—even Nana laughed and appreciated the hilarious turns our conversation took.
Ethan had me all hyped about his house. He told me about some of his toys, and I was genuinely excited to go over there and check them out. I talked to Amanda some too, but I liked hanging out with the boy, and I catered to him most of the time. She didn't seem to mind that. We had fun. We ate quickly and didn't spend too much time at the lake. We meandered, and the trips there and back took a long time with Ethan's slow, explorer's pace.
We made our way back to the part of the property where we found the tunnel. I caught sight of it in the distance. My brothers were there, working. I could see them actively hammering.
"We have to let Sadie do what she was doing when we get back," Amanda said, seeing what I saw.
"Noooo," Ethan protested.
"That's why I'm telling you now. You're not going to be able to hang out with her once we get back to Nana's tunnel."
"Can I climb on the rocks?"
"Yes, for a minute, but we have to say bye to Sadie."
He held onto my hand possessively.
"I'm coming over to your house to hang out with you in two days."
"And sleeping over."
"No, she's not sleeping over," Nana said, smiling and shaking her head as if asking me to excuse him. "She'll come over to see you on Sunday, though. Thanks for doing that. I told John-Michael Ethan could come up here and spend the day with us, but he's wanted to have him home in his routine."
"I'm happy to do it," I said, being honest.
I wasn't dreading it at all, and it wasn't just because her son was the most handsome man alive. I honestly had fun hanging out with the little dude.
** *
I kept thinking about that little guy the following evening when I was with my other group of friends. It was dinner time when I hooked up with a few people in Raleigh to head to Charlotte. It was the first time I saw Jonathan since the night of the accident, and he went on and on about how my brothers saved him that morning at the police station. He built me up to be some sort of hero for not pressing charges with the accident or making him pay for my car. He made the biggest deal about everything, and they all basically celebrated my bravery and generosity on our way to Charlotte. I tried to act like I was comfortable with it all even though I wasn't.
Of course, they offered me some pills while we were driving. My friend, Brixton, had dosing down to a science. He gave me the right combination of things every time we went out. The buzz would hit me right when we got to the party and start to wear off when we were done.
Tonight, it didn't even cross my mind to take the pills. I put them into my mouth because Brixton was watching me from the backseat, expecting me to do it. I pretended to take them, and then I held them in my mouth and somehow managed to spit them out without anyone noticing. For a couple of minutes, there were two and a half pills, unused, in my barehand, and finally, I slid them casually into the bottom of my bag .
I wanted to take them—I truly did. But I knew that would be letting little E down. If I did this, then tomorrow would be spent recovering from it. I would throw them away once we made it to the venue.
Time seemed to drag.
Everyone thought I was getting buzzed, and they behaved like normal. The party was already going when we arrived. My friends and I were popular on this scene, and people reacted to us when we arrived. I could see people looking at me, noticing me. A few came up to us, but most just looked at us from a distance. Normally, I didn't notice all of this. I was in a different mindset tonight because of being sober, and I honestly didn't like any of it as much. I wanted to take some pills just to make time go by faster. I wasn't as impressed with the whole scene as I normally was.
I tried to be Shy, though, dancing and getting into it. I took photos, and oddly, that part of it came easier to me. Time seemed stretched out, and I got a lot more done, seeing better angles and not getting lost in every song. I got plenty of good photographs by 1am. I was finished for the night and ready to get back to Raleigh.
My friend, Stephen, agreed to leave early with me, but it took until two o'clock for us to get together and make sure our other friends had rides home. I was just glad Stephen was willing to leave early and let me drive his car back to Raleigh. I didn't have a single sip of alcohol, no pills, no drugs. We got home at five in the morning, and I slept until noon the following day.
Normally, I woke up in a fog, but that day, I felt alert and excited. I wound up getting a lot of editing done on photos I took the night before. I did some good work, and I was happy with how productive I had been.
I edited during the early afternoon and then I showered and got dressed to go to John-Michael's house.
I arrived ten minutes early. I had left time for traffic, but it was Sunday afternoon, and I got to the house quickly. It was a gorgeous wooden craftsman-style home in an established neighborhood. I knew it would be nice, but I didn't expect to love it so much. It was a beautiful home with flowerbeds and a wooden door with a stained glass insert.
I knocked, and within a moment, the door opened. John-Michael was standing there with a smile. He had on slacks and a button-down shirt. He was more dressed up than I had ever seen him—a dapper, handsome gentleman. I started to mention it, but I was nervous and didn’t know what to say.
"How is your house so amazing?" I asked instead, walking inside. "How do you know how to decorate like this?"
"My… Ethan's mom bought all this when we first moved in."
"Ohhh, I, I'm sorry. I should've thought of that. "
"No, it's fine."
"Where's Ethan?"
"He's back in my office. I've got a couple of guys back there, and he's talking to them. He doesn't know you're here, or he would have come to the door."
He smiled and motioned for me to follow him, and I did. We walked down the hall. His clothes were clean and freshly ironed, and I felt thoroughly impressed by him. His house was amazing. I couldn't believe he owned this. I thought I was doing good with my art, but there was just no way I would be able to maintain this sort of life—this was better than my parents' house.
"I'll be back here with the door closed once we get started," he said, glancing over his shoulder. "I'll grab E, and we'll show you around the rest of the house."
He leaned into the door of the room that I assumed was his office. It was on the back side of the house. I could tell that it had a lot of windows just from the lighting inside and how the sun streamed through the doorway. I hesitated in the hall, and he gestured for me to come up next to him.
"Ethan, somebody's here," he announced.
I rounded the corner just in time to see the boy look up and notice me. He was on the other side of the room and he stood up and started running toward me instantly. It was a nice, warm office space with two walls of books and an oversized desk. There were two guys in the room and they were getting ready to film with lights, cameras, and reflectors all set up on tripods. Ethan had been talking to them, but he ran to me, holding a toy dinosaur.
"Hey," he said, stopping in front of me.
"Hey, dude. What's up?" I said, stooping down to his level.
"This," he said, holding out the toy.
"A t-rex?"
He laughed.
"A long neck?"
He laughed again, putting a hand to his forehead. "A stegosaurus."
"Whoa," I actually didn't know that. Is that really what kind this is?"
"Yeah, because look at its back."
"Yeah," I agreed, even though I didn't know much about dinosaurs. "You'll have to teach me about their names later. But first, you need to show me your house. I just got here, and it's my first time to come over."
"Okay, come here," he said.
"Thank you," John-Michael said before I could take off. We made eye contact. "I'll stay here and get started if you don't mind."
I shook my head. "Not at all."
"E can show you around. The kitchen, the pool, his room, he knows where you guys can hang out. I'll be in here if you need me," he added, gesturing into the office .
I smiled and nodded, taking off with Ethan.
That man was simply gorgeous, and I smiled at the butterflies in my stomach and how they were uncontrollable. I knew he wasn't attracted to me, but I couldn't help but notice him in that way. He was like a movie star.
"Hey, Sadie, thank you for coming over," he said.
"Of course. My pleasure."
He closed the door, and I went into the living room with Ethan.
We swam for over an hour, and then we got out of the pool and hung out outside while we dried off. Ethan mentioned being hungry, and we went inside to see what we could find in the kitchen. It was close enough to dinner time that I figured he could eat. I opened the fridge and started looking for something for dinner.
I was so happy about my choices last night. I felt good physically, and I felt good about myself. I had gotten a lot of photography done, and I made it home in time to get more than a couple of hours of sleep.
"What about pizza?"
"What about ice cream?" he asked.
"What about pizza then ice cream? Is this pizza still good?" I asked him. I pulled the cardboard box out of the fridge. "Does your dad let you eat this?"
He nodded. "It's me and my dad's pizza."
"What kind is it?" I asked before I opened it .
"Slices."
"Slices? How many slices do you want? One?"
"I have one and you have one."
"Is your dad okay with me eating some of this?" I asked. I knew he would be. There was a lot left—a whole large pizza that was assembled from two or three different types in one box. "Which one do you want?"
"I want these," he said, pointing at some bread on the side of the box.
"Garlic knots?"
"What? No, it's brea-a-ad," he said, laughing.
"Yeah, the bread. Do you want both of them or just one?"
"Two."
"Do you want pizza, too?"
He shook his head, and I put the garlic knots on a plate for him. I had just taken them out of the microwave and put them in front of him when I heard my name.
"Sadie?" It was John-Michael, and he was calling my name from down the hall.
"Just a second, I'm coming!" I turned to Ethan. "Can you chew that good?" He nodded. "Your dad needs to tell me something. I'll be right back."