Chapter 11
Sadie Kirkpatrick
It was Saturday afternoon when I heard from JJ Kennedy. I was exhausted and feeling sad when he called, and it was truly unbelievable how my body went from feeling run down and groggy to happy and full of energy.
I was on cloud nine for a little while that evening, and then I started to overthink everything again. I remembered my choices that weekend. I remembered how disappointed my family was and how Salem made me work. I felt great for a while after I talked to John-Michael, but later that night, things went downhill.
I was beating myself up about it when he texted me again. He said he had just put Ethan to bed and he was thinking about framing the pictures—wondering if I had a type or brand of frames that I recommended. I sent him a link to my favorite website, and we talked about matting and color ideas. Then we started texting about other things. One text led to another, and before I knew it, I was going back and forth with him non-stop.
We texted for a couple of hours that night. It wasn't flirty at all. It was just a simple, sweet conversation where one topic led to another naturally.
I had never had a text exchange like that with anyone, honestly. About halfway through it, I wondered if we should just pick up the phone and talk to each other, but we continued to text. I was in a mindset of beating myself up for going out this weekend, so I was kind of glad we weren't on the phone. Texting gave me a second to think of my responses. I didn't mention any trouble to him. I told him I worked that weekend, and we left it at that.
We texted about other things, all sorts of things. He had grown up with sisters, and I had brothers, and we exchanged a few facts and stories about our childhood and families. I had gotten to know his mom some, and so had my brothers. We knew more about each other than either of us realized. We texted for a couple of hours, and then on and off for the rest of the night.
I signed off late that evening by telling him that I would see him for dinner. I went to bed feeling happy and elated with an edge of bitter regret. I hated myself for that edge. I wanted to savor the hope. I wanted to feel like I could deserve someone like John-Michael. He was just too good, though. He was a self-made millionaire and he was a student, a father, and a teacher. I had no idea how he did it all.
He would humbly tell you that his app and career were the result of a whole string of unlikely blessings. He told me the story of how his college girlfriend got pregnant and he married her. He had been all-in with baseball, and becoming a dad made him rethink those dreams and try to think of some quicker money. That was when he teamed up with his friend and made the app. His life had been a whirlwind from there.
I did go to sleep with some feelings of hope and happiness, in spite of being laced with regret.
I was excited enough to put some effort into how I looked when I got dressed to go to their house the following evening. I thought about texting him a few times throughout the day, but I decided to wait. I didn't hear from him, either. I didn't expect to, but I did think I might after how much we talked the night before.
I wore jeans and a t-shirt layered with one of my favorite hoodies. It was lavender, and I wore it all the time. I put on bright yellow Converse and I styled my hair in a big messy bun right on top of my head. I never wore a ton of makeup, but I was careful with what I did apply that afternoon.
I checked myself in the mirror about ten times before I walked up to John-Michael's house.
I was nervous, but all of that faded away when John-Michael opened the door with a smile and I saw little Ethan running full-force at me.
I let out a sound of delight when I caught him in my arms, standing and hugging him. We connected like we were long-lost friends, and at the end of the embrace, he put his hands on my face and kissed each of my cheeks, one at a time like he did before.
I glanced at John-Michael afterward and he was staring at us like he couldn't believe it, like he was puzzled. It led me to believe that Ethan didn't do that with just anybody, which made me way too happy. I had to stifle a ridiculous smile from taking over my face. Ethan wiggled, and I was happy for the excuse to look away as I set him to his feet.
"Come see my food we cooked you," he said, pulling me into the kitchen. I followed behind him, barely stopping to glance at John-Michael.
"You cooked?" I asked before we made it to the kitchen. "It smells good."
"I think it's going to taste good," Ethan said.
"I think it will!" I said excitedly.
It was Italian food—baked pasta with salad and breadsticks. He said it was something he made quite a bit and was comfortable with it—plus it would provide leftovers at the start of a busy week. He told me that the whole point of treating me to dinner was to do something nice for the photos, and that he felt bad for cooking instead of taking me out somewhere. I insisted that I was perfectly happy eating at his place. It was the truth. I loved being there. I had fun with Ethan, and I was completely enamored with John-Michael.
Three hours passed in the blink of an eye, and before long it was Ethan's bath and bedtime. During the course of the night, I had stepped up on a few things regarding Ethan, chipping in and helping out with him. I knew John-Michael appreciated it. I figured he still viewed me as a babysitter type, which was honestly fine with me—I stepped in when needed. That's why he didn't look surprised when I asked him if I could do the dishes while he gave Ethan a bath or vice versa. I knew that both of those things needed to get done, and it was my pleasure to offer, especially after how sweet he had been all night.
He asked how long I could stay, and I assured him that I was not in a hurry. I gave Ethan a bath and got him ready for bed while his dad cleaned the kitchen. We read a story on the couch downstairs, and then he asked me to sing him a song.
I sang Froggy Went a Courtin' since I knew the one about the frog at the bottom of the pool was a hit. I did a slower, sweeter version of the song, but the lyrics still made him laugh. Ethan was lovey-dovey with me, snuggling up to me and being sweet. It warmed my heart so much. My brothers loved me, but they were grown up now, and they never came to me for any sort of affection. That little boy's willingness to hug me and snuggle me filled some sort of void that I didn't even know was there. My heart was full in those moments on the couch with him.
John-Michael was two rooms away, cleaning up the kitchen. He could see us, but I didn't think he could hear us. I did see him glancing over every once in a while, but my attention was focused on Ethan.
After cleaning up, his dad was ready to tuck him into bed. Ethan told me goodnight, and they headed to the bedroom. John-Michael assured me it would only take five minutes and asked if I would stick around and wait for him before I took off. I easily agreed.
I was in the kitchen, sitting at the bar when he came back in there. He was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. I usually wasn't attracted to the athletic, all-American type, but John-Michael was above a type. He was just a natural man, good at being himself. I found it irresistible. He and Ethan were both irresistible.
"Is he sleeping already?" I asked.
"No, but almost. I told him I'd come back and check on him in five minutes, but he'll be out by then."
"Oh, my gosh, I just love him so much. That whole thing where he was explaining bulldozers to me. I never knew he was such an expert on construction sites. My brothers would have loved that. I hope he said some of that to them."
"Oh, Ethan knows your brothers. He thinks they are the coolest. My mom had to keep him away from them because he would have talked their ear off."
"They would have loved that."
"Did you wipe the table?"
"Yes. "
"It looks great. Thank you for that."
"Thank you for dinner. That was so good. How are you feeling? You know, how are you holding up today?"
"I'm over it," he said. "Thank goodness." He opened the kitchen cabinet to get himself a glass. "Do you want something else to drink?"
"I'll have some water," I agreed since I would do anything to avoid leaving.
He took two glasses out of the cabinet and filled them with ice and water from the refrigerator. He handed me one of them and stood close to me in the kitchen. He leaned against the counter and glanced at me casually.
We had done a lot of getting to know each other in the last two days, and everything he did just made me more and more attracted to him. He was a decent upstanding citizen, and a God-fearing human, and I was more attracted to those qualities than I ever thought I would be. He reminded me of my brothers in that way, and it was an attribute I never thought I could find so desirable.
"What were you singing to him?"
"What?"
"What were you thinking about?" he asked, seeing me snap to reality.
"My brothers," I said smiling and being vague. I turned and caught sight of his dark eyes. I felt a thrill in the core of my body when our gazes linked .
"What about your brothers?" he asked after a tension-filled pause.
"Nothing. What were you about to ask? You were asking something?"
"Oh, just now, on the couch. You and Ethan. What were you singing?"
"Frog in the bottom of the… no, no, no, it wasn't. It was another frog one. The froggy went a-courtin'. That was the one."
"I love that you're so musical. I love that you bring music when you come over here."
"Do your mom and sisters like to sing?"
"They like music. We all do, I just don't expose Ethan to enough kid songs. I don't even know that one you mentioned just now."
"Yes, you do. Froggy went a courtin' and he did ride, uh-huh." I sang the lyrics in a similar slow, silly tone that I had used with Ethan. He made an uncertain face, and I sang the next line, hitting higher notes. "Froggy went a courtin' and he did ride uh-huh."
"Keep going."
"Froggy went a courtin' and he did ride, sword and pistol by his side, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh."
"Maybe I vaguely know it," he said, nodding a little. "Does it have more verses?"
"Oh, yeah, there's a whole story with a wedding."
"The frog gets married? "
"Yep. And. there are other animals at the wedding. That's what Ethan was cracking up about."
"Thank you," he said, staring at me. "It's awesome to see him happy and having fun."
"You're so welcome. It really is my pleasure. Speaking of the little dude, do you need to check on him? I feel like I should get out of your way."
His gaze snapped up to meet mine. "You are definitely not in my way."