4. CHAPTER FOUR
Saxon’s been carrying around a face like a recently paddled ass for the past two hours, which has been a great help to me. The weird girl from the kitchen picked a fight with him and Alma rode his ass throughout our entire induction, so win-win for Jesse.
He played the role I cast him for perfectly—best friend number two.
Specialty: Causing distraction through self-centered narcissism and the inability to let sleeping dogs lie.
Senji Saxon Suzuki, I could kiss you, I think to myself as I push him out of the small function room we’ve spent the past hour in and out into the hallway.
“The fuck was that for?” he scowls.
Shrugging, I smirk at him with a look that says I don’t know what you’re talking about and go to step around him, but he mirrors my movements.
“Turn around,” Romeo grumbles, stepping between us and physically making Saxon about-face before glaring at me from the corner of his eye.
“What?” I mime. Again with the same faux cluelessness.
“You’re as bad as each other,” Romeo responds with a why do I put up with this shit tone, and guides Saxon towards the door at the end of the hallway.
“Okay, you can let go of me now,” Saxon gripes, shaking his shoulders until he’s free. Opening the door, the smell of way too many floral scents assaults our noses. Waving his hand in front of his face, Saxon leads the way. “It’s a fucking potpourri of—”
“Potpourri?”
“Yeah.” He scrunches up his face as he circles on the spot, taking in the room.
Floor to ceiling on all four walls are racks and racks of uniforms. An old wooden table is off to one side with a giant bowl of the aromatic offender almost spilling from within it. I try to breathe through my mouth because the smell is starting to hurt my head, but it just tastes like someone sprayed my grandmother’s perfume right onto my tongue. Coughing, I jog to the door and frantically fling it back and forth, trying to fan some of the flowery stench out of the room.
“This is such bullshit,” Saxon announces, making sure the spotlight is still on him. “I don’t even have any time to settle in. That bitch just throws me in the deep end and hopes I can swim.”
“You’ll be fine, mate,” I tell him from the hallway. “You’re the first one to let us know you’re good at everything.”
“Fuck you,” he declares before continuing to babble and he shifts to lean against the table.
“Lovely.” Romeo rolls his eyes and takes a cleaner’s uniform down from a rack and holds it out to show me. “Looks a little more French maid than practical.”
“You should try it on.”
“It’ll cost ya.”
“Can I take pictures? Gotta recoup my money somehow.”
“Are we about to start an OnlyFans page?”
“Might have to with how bad this place pays.”
“Make sure you forward me the address.” An unfamiliar voice enters the conversation, and Romeo and I freeze in place. Knee-high to a grasshopper, she appeared through blazers as if they were fur coats at the back of a magical wardrobe.
“Haha, that sure shut you up,” the old woman chuckles, reaching behind herself and feeling for a long stick leaning in the corner. “Which of you is the ski instructor? And those baggy sweaters. Lose ‘em. How am I meant to know what size you’ll be?”
“You could ask,” Saxon grumbles. Unable to help himself from responding to a question she wasn’t seeking an answer to.
Almost timidly, Romeo raises his hand before unzipping his hoodie.
Nodding as though she’d known all along, the tiny woman creeps forward. Balancing the pole between her feet, she grips Romeo’s biceps, squeezing and moving up and down his arms. Next, she grabs his hips.
Stifling a laugh, I watch his back straighten and his eyes widen as she unashamedly gropes him with her lips pushed aside as though in deep thought.
Still not uttering a word, she grabs her stick. Using the hook on the end of it, she fetches down a pair of black ski pants and throws them at Romi. “Put these on,” she commands before returning her attention to the racks. “Don’t be shy. I’ve seen it all. And I’m sure your friends will enjoy the show.”
Okay, this one is a keeper. We had a teacher like her at Lancaster. Witty, with a vigor that didn’t match the age of his body.
Romeo gets to undressing as my new favorite lady expertly hooks two coat hangers from a top rack.
Holding the ski pants out in front of him, Romi looks at me and I know what he’s thinking. These aren’t gonna do up. And if I was to bet on it, I’d have to agree. But all credit to the old broad’s grabby hands because the further he slides them up his legs, the more apparent it becomes that they fit him like a glove. A custom glove. One for the man with the perfect body.
Romeo’s ensemble is completed with a black thermal singlet and a charcoal, long-sleeved, skin-tight thermal henley. No joke, it looks painted on, but goddamn, he looks like a statue some mogul would want surrounded by rose bushes in their front garden.
“Okay, you’re next, golden boy. I assume you’re the one in reception because there’s no way all his brooding could be the guests’ first point of call.” Wielding her stick like some martial arts pro, she taps Saxon in the back.
Compelled to laugh, I spot the twitching of his top lip and speak up. “Ah-yeah. That’s me. I’m Jesse—”
“No need for names, dear. It ruins the mystery. Now step closer. I promise I won’t bite.”
Gingerly, I move towards the feisty old piece, and before I can even input the data, she’s poking and prodding me in places I haven’t reached in years.
“Hmm, not as wide through the back as your friend here, but you’ll fit the shirt out just fine. You look like a thirty—no, thirty-one-inch waist, right?”
“Uh, yeah. You’ve definitely got a knack for…” My words trail off as I spin back around to see she hadn’t even waited for my response. Pulling a well what did you ask for face, my eyes meet Saxon’s and he scoffs. “You’re next, dickhead. I hope you get the full treatment.”
“What was that, love?”
“Oh, noth—”
“Pants off, son. I need to see if these fit.”
It would seem it’s rhetorical questions all around, and I sigh heavily for being cut off for a second time.
Not wishing this ordeal to take any longer than needed, I slip out of my jeans and step into the khakis she flung over my shoulder. “I don’t think these are gonna fit,” I tell her, standing up straight with the pants just above my knees.
“Nonsense, I’m never wrong. You’re just not used to the fit.”
The fit? Surely she’s having a laugh because these are not pants. They more closely resemble what girls wear to the gym, or to go get coffee in, cause apparently it’s fashion now. Not that I’m complaining. Yoga pants are like the second coming of Christ for—
“Dear God,” I yelp as her uncharacteristically powerful hands hitch up the khakis, fasten the button, and zip the fly. “These don’t leave much to the imagination.”
“Dayum, Jess. Don’t wanna bend over too far in those. You’ll bust a seam and we’ll see what you had for breakfast,” Romeo teases.
“Are you sure I don’t need a bigger size?”
“They do up, don’t they? So they’re the right size. I don’t design these things, I just fit them. And that’s how they’re meant to fit.”
Honestly, I feel naked, like my entire package is on display. And the top half of the uniform isn’t much better. The buttons of the fitted white shirt—that is somehow meant to be tucked into the pants that I can’t breathe in—feel to me like they only just meet. And a tie, a fucking tie. I didn’t wear one during my entire internship or during any court appearances. I didn’t have to. I literally chose to be a barrister over a solicitor so I didn’t have to think about what I wore to court. Black gown and weird wig, done.
Jumping forward at the intrusion of a hand sliding up my back, I’m tugged backward by the waistband of my khakis. “I can fit my arm in, so this is the size.”
Violated in a way I was unfamiliar with, I can’t help but be thankful that I’ll be behind a desk when I have to wear this.
And what the hell does the female uniform look like?
I bet it’s sexy secretary vibes with three buttons undone and a skirt that hugs all their curves. I mean, how could it not be provocative if this is what Kai and I have to wear?
Shit.
I bet he makes it look good, though.
You’d have to be able to see his tattoos through the white cotton. And goddamn, if his dick was that visible in his sweatpants what must it look like in the—
A firm hand slaps me on the backside. “I said you can get undressed now.”
My cheeks burn. “Oh, sorry.”
“Looks like your life will be no different here. You can’t even carry out a conversation with one past her used-by date,” Saxon pokes, whispering just loud enough for me to hear. Or so he thinks.
“Fuck you! Have you already forgotten your little run-in this morning? I’d say you’re off to a worse start than me.”
“Settle down, please, boys. And watch your language.”
Compelled to apologize, I swallow my words as my new best friend hurls a black polo shirt at Saxon’s chest.
“There, smart mouth. That’s yours. Black skinny jeans on the bottom. Judging by the looks of you, I’m sure you bought a few pairs.”
“Do you need to see if it fits?”
He touts a big game, but Saxon is just as needy as everyone else. His face still looks hard, but I can see in his eyes how hurt he is about being denied the hands-on experience. For everyone else, this would be a learning situation about watching what you say because words can hurt people, but for Saxon, it’s just another squirt of gasoline onto the ever-smoldering tire fire that burns in his chest where a heart should be.
“It’ll fit,” she replies sternly. “Now out, the pack of ya. It’s my lunchtime.” And with that, she disappears back through the blazers like she’d never been there in the first place.
Shaking my finger at Saxon for being a naughty boy, Romeo grabs him by the collar and drags him back out into the hallway and the non-floral polluted air.
“Damn, that felt like a bad one-night stand,” Romeo jokes.
“Yeah, and Sax is pissed cause he had to go home alone,” I smirk as he breaks free of Romeo’s grip and storms down the corridor. “Hey, dunce face. Where are you going in such a hurry?” I call out to him.
“I’m going to bed, you twat. And don’t bother me!”
“Aye-aye, Captain,” Romeo and I both cackle in unison.
To most people, the reason we put up with Saxon is a complete mystery, and though I question it myself sometimes, there is no way I wouldn’t have him in my life. It may be fate that threw us together, but all I know is that he was dumped at Lancaster an hour after my parents left me there. They told me to stay in my dorm room and be strong because I needed to be a man. But I was eight and abandoned. I snuck back down to the foyer and waited, crouched in the corner, hoping they would change their mind and come back for me. By the time he arrived with his nanny, my tears had dried, but my face was still red. More boys came and parents left, and sometime later that afternoon a determined hand gripped my wrist and tugged me to stand. “You’re going to be my roommate,” he declared, dragging me to the administration office and commanding the situation like an adult. So I guess I owe him my sanity, or at least for the reason I still have hope that not everyone in the world is totally evil.
“Wanna chill for a bit?” I ask Romeo as we step out of housing unit C and take in the fresh air before continuing to our building.
“Na, I’m heading to the mountain.”
“Why? You don’t start till Monday?” I ask, falling into line with him.
“Unlike you, I’d like to be prepared for my job. How am I meant to teach people if I don’t have a feel for the slopes?”
I nod, going through the motions of pretending I’m taking his words in and formulating a plan for the remainder of the weekend that will have me prepared come Monday, but the reality is, other than doing squats in the khakis to stretch them out there is nothing I can prepare for. Alma provided no insight into the programs used and there is no way in hell I’m knocking on Kai’s door and risk finding him in less clothing than the last time our paths crossed. As it is, I can’t get the twin blue bird tattoos that cover his hip bones out of my head. Those damned sweatpants were so low I could see them completely, but the octopus that sat between them was half covered, its tentacles sprawling beneath the fabric like sirens teasing me towards the rocky shore…