Chapter 1 Cole #6
“I don’t know about Jack Sparrow, but Xaden always was a heartthrob. I remember him in senior year,” Laura says dreamily. “I sometimes went to the school gym just to see him lifting weights. Sometimes he worked out shirtless. It kind of made me envy Cole.”
Lots of giggling. Nostalgic sighs.
Until someone finally spots me and hisses: “Guys, shut up, Cole’s right there.”
The silence that follows is thick and awful.
Becky coughs into her sleeve.
Lottie’s mom blurts, too bright: “I always thought you two were sweet together!” Sweet. Like that makes the gossip kinder.
I keep my eyes on the ground, hoping it would pity me and swallow me whole.
My tongue burns with everything I should say. These people don’t know Xaden, or me, and we’re not the flavor syrup in their melodrama. I want to snap at them to shut up. Ask them how they’d like it if their lives were picked apart like yard sale leftovers.
But the words lodge in my throat. That’s always been my curse: by the time I think of something sharp or smart enough, the moment’s already gone.
So instead of defending myself or Xaden, I’m pretending to study the label on my water bottle like it has the answers to life’s mysteries.
I don’t want this. Gossip and pity, speculation about my heartache, strangers wondering if I’ll pull myself together? Half the town thinking I dodged a bullet, half saying Xaden was out of my league anyway.
Well, that much is true. Xaden was always impossibly smart and brave. Kind and gentle. Calm and confident. And me? I was the boy who hid behind him, who relied on his voice, his strength, just to survive through the day.
It says a lot about us that when we met, I was stuck in a tree and he helped me down.
Then, blessedly, before the moms forget my presence again and start talking about Xaden’s abs, I see a line of kids wobbling behind Earl, like he’s the Pied Piper of Baywood. Safari is over. Or not, as Earl is still holding up a mason jar for everyone to see.
“AND HERE,” he booms, “WE HAVE THE FIERCEST PREDATOR OF THE BACKYARD — THE LADYBUG!”
The kids gasp.
“This,” Earl continues, in a more hushed voice, “is a voracious hunter. It devours entire swarms of helpless aphids.”
Lottie raises a hand. “Do they bite people?”
“They could,” Earl says ominously. “But they mostly save their bloodlust for aphids. They eat hundreds a day, leaving nothing but plant carnage behind. True warriors of the leaf.”
The kids shuffle after Earl in awe.
“Ladies, we need to talk about Earl,” Becky says, sounding horrified.
Noah spots me and runs over. “Daddy!” he yells. “We saw a ladybug! It eats thousands of bugs a day and shows no mercy!”
He grabs my hand, bouncing on his toes. “Can I go again next week? Earl said we’re learning about asphalt worms and how they plan pavement domination!”
“Of course you can,” I promise.
We walk to the car and Noah falls asleep almost before I’ve buckled him in.
I drive home, deep in thought.
The gossip I just heard pissed the hell out of me, but it was nothing compared to what happened after the Pumpkin Dance.
That night lit a match. Lisa Melville poured gasoline.
***
The gym was strung with twinkle lights and lined with carved pumpkins.
Coach Douglas stood guard by the punch like he was hoping someone would spike it so he could hand out detentions.
The whole place smelled like pumpkin spice, cheap perfume, and crushes.
I was there with Alex and Devon, but they were both dancing.
I stood near the punch table, feeling stupid.
Then I saw Xaden. He was dancing with Lisa.
A James Arthur song was playing, and she looked like the heroine in her own fanfiction.
Xaden swayed, half-in, half-out, while Lisa clung to him like expecting a declaration of love.
He was wearing neat trousers and a button-up shirt, and he looked so handsome I was starting to get uncomfortably hot. Or maybe the hotness was caused by the jealousy burning in my chest.
I had thought Xaden didn’t care about Lisa, but there he was, dancing with her.
Maybe he did like her after all?
Just then, he happened to look up. Caught me staring.
I turned my head, embarrassed. But the next thing I knew, he was walking straight toward me. It was the kind of slow, unbothered saunter that made my brain short-circuit.
He stopped in front of me. “Hey.” Casual. Effortless. Like I wasn’t already halfway to cardiac arrest.
“You, um, left your… Lisa?” I managed.
Xaden just smiled. “You looked like you wanted to step in,” he said.
He was teasing. I deserved it.
“Step on your toes, maybe,” I muttered, blushing.
He laughed, low and quiet, just for me. I felt dizzy.
“Shall we?” he asked, holding out his hand.
“I… are you serious?” I glanced around.
Justin Clancy, grade-A brick, was standing nearby, talking loudly about how slow dancing was for “losers” while stealing glances at Lisa.
Caspian was watching from the edge of the crowd, eyes flicking between us. He caught my eye for a second, then quickly looked away.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Xaden asked so softly I had trouble catching my breath.
He didn’t sound like he was teasing. Maybe he was serious.
About us dancing. In front of people. Together.
Suddenly I wanted that more than anything.
Xaden was still holding out his hand, and I didn’t know if he actually expected me to take it but eventually… I did.
Barely breathing, I slid my fingers into his, letting him tug me gently onto the edge of the floor. The feel of his hand at the small of my back was warm and sure and thrilling.
Our fingers stayed loosely clasped, and the world narrowed to the space between us.
I could feel the heat from his body, see the faint stubble on his jaw that made him look almost grownup.
The song changed into Perfect by Ed Sheeran. I’d never felt more alive or more exposed.
“You’d sing this better,” Xaden murmured, making me squirm.
Then, even softer, almost like he didn’t mean for me to hear it: “You look beautiful.”
I felt that everywhere.
***
Gossip consumed school after that. I still don’t know exactly what Xaden told Lisa after our dance, but it was enough for Lisa to out him.
For Justin to bully him.
Some kids clearly avoided him, others just stared openly curious.
And I let him down by not defending him.
“When I grow up, I’m gonna be like Earl,” Noah mumbles, half asleep, jolting me right back to the present.
I swallow a lump.
If he can look at Earl like a hero, maybe one day he’ll look at me the same.
If I can ever find the courage to open my mouth when it matters.
XADEN
I’ve always liked running early in the morning. It’s not just exercise, it’s escape.
Also it’s nice to hear someone being happy, even if it is just a chirpy Northern cardinal waking up to a new day.
I get up at six, choke down coffee older than some of my socks, eat a banana, and hit the pavement.
As I pass Baywood High, a memory drags me to a halt.
The Pumpkin Dance and its aftermath.
***
All night I’d replayed that dance. Cole’s hand warm in mine, his breath close, the music blurring until it felt like the world had finally given me something good. Pressing my palm to his back was the hottest thing I’d ever done.
The next morning reality hit like a fist.
Justin Clancy slammed me into a locker, sneering that I’d been eyeing him.
The hallway went silent, kids staring like I’d grown horns overnight.
Cole found me after, flustered and pale. “Want some fresh air?”
We sat on a damp bench. October air clung to our sleeves.
“You okay?” he asked quietly, glancing at me before averting his gaze again.
“It’s fine,” I lied, breaking a twig in my hands.
“Was it because we danced?” It was almost a whisper.
“No. It was because of my big mouth.” I hesitated. “I told Lisa I wasn’t into her. That I liked someone else. Told her it was… a boy.”
Cole blushed to the tips of his ears.
But the shy smile he gave me after that left me dizzy with hope.
That smile was a promise that he’d get to me eventually. And he did.
***
I stay in my thoughts for a while until a truck rattles past and snaps me back.
I scan the street out of habit, making sure JJ and Ronnie aren’t lurking. Nothing but a dog walker and the smell of bacon drifting from the diner.
I make a decision.
I need to talk to Cole. Not because seeing him with Stone makes me want to tear the earth in half, but because he’s in danger. The kind that doesn’t stop at a bruised ego. JJ and Ronnie talk about him too much, joke too crudely, and I’ve seen enough to know where that can lead.
How “a warning” can turn into weeks in the hospital.
That’s not going to be Cole. I won’t let it.
I need him to understand this isn’t about us now. It’s about protecting him.
And if I have to make him hate me to keep him safe, then fine. I’ve lived with worse.
COLE
“Do ants plan pavement domination or just them worms?” Noah asks, playing with his Lego figures instead of eating breakfast.
“Better ask Earl,” I say, pouring myself more coffee. “And you’d better finish your cereal. I know you don’t want to be late for Juniper’s story hour. Tuesdays are for Thrilling Tales, remember?”
“I can’t eat without T-Rex,” he whines. “He got left in the car.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Tell you what. I bet you can’t eat five spoonfuls before I’m back with your dino buddy.”
“I can eat at least seven!” Noah declares hotly, like I knew he would.
“Let’s see. I’m pretty fast,” I say, making a dramatic sprint toward the front door. He giggles and starts eating his cereal with admirable efficiency for someone who just said he can’t eat at all.
I fish the plastic dinosaur from under the passenger seat and slam the door shut. I turn around, only to find Xaden standing right in front of me.
My heart stutters like a traitor.
Xaden in running gear looks like a god of sport. He’s sweaty, obviously, so his hair is damp and messy. He’s wearing shorts and a running tank, which means that his muscles are right there.
I mean, the biceps and the forearms and everything.