CHAPTER 48 – ANTONIO
Caspian’s hands are still on me. One warm and steady at my waist. One gentle at my neck.
His breath brushes my cheek.
My body is trembling from the orgasm, like a seismic shock I wasn’t prepared for.
It felt different from the ones I’ve given myself. It was scary, too. I hadn’t realized it could be terrifying to let go like that.
Caspian helped me.
I know he’d never ask me to do something I couldn’t. It helped me to let go—for him.
Because I’m his good boy and he loves me.
My mind struggles to understand. I’m not sure it can.
“Antonio.”
I blink when I hear his voice. How long have I been quiet?
He wipes a tear off my cheek.
“You don’t have to say anything. I don’t expect you to say it back.”
“But I—” My voice breaks.
I clear my throat and try again. I grab his shirt, tug him closer, and bury my face against his shoulder. I want to climb inside his ribcage and stay there.
“It’s okay,” he murmurs. “I promise you it’s okay.”
How can he say that? It’s not okay—it’s life-altering.
A total rewrite of my history.
Caspian loves me.
I came from rubbing myself on his thigh.
I came because he said I can.
It feels like magic. No—it feels like love.
I look at him in awe.
“The power of love gave me an orgasm,” I say.
Immediately, I groan .
“That’s not what I was supposed to say!”
“It was well said, intentional or not,” Caspian says reassuringly.
“I wanted to say that I love you too,” I complain. “A cheesy line about the power of love was not the plan.”
He makes a sharp, jagged sound, and I pull back enough to see him.
He looks so stunned and joyful that it’s almost too much to bear.
“I love you,” I repeat, because he looks like he didn’t quite get it.
He exhales and pulls me to him so tightly I gasp.
He kisses my cheek, my temple, the corner of my mouth—each kiss like
a vow.
“You don’t know what you just did to me,” he whispers.
“Pretty sure I do,” I mumble. “You look like you’re about to pass out.”
He lets out a breathless laugh. “I might. From happiness.”
He wraps an arm around my back and lifts me off the washer.
“I’m happy too,” I say. “I’m so happy I didn’t know it was possible.”
My heart is a wild, soaring thing.
I want to make him feel good—like he did to me.
I drop to my knees.
Taking a deep breath, I start fumbling with his belt.
“Antonio.” His voice drops.
I lift my gaze, heart racing. I don’t want him to say no. I need him to say yes.
“I want you,” he says roughly. “So goddamn much. I don’t think you even realize how much. Seeing you on your knees like that—fuck. I could almost come from this sight alone.”
He pauses, and I file his words away to be carefully inspected and treasured later.
“I’m not saying I don’t want you to do this. That would be lying. I don’t even know how many times I’ve dreamed about this.”
I glow.
I’ve dreamed about this too.
In the secret corners of my mind where I didn’t think I was allowed to go.
“But I need to say something. My love for you isn’t conditional. I love you no matter what happens or doesn’t happen between us.”
He gives me a serious look.
I nod. I hear him.
“I know.”
Then I yank down his trousers.
He’s wearing black boxers, and his erection is straining against the fabric.
He’s like that because of me.
I have that power.
“I want to do this so badly,” I mumble, pressing my face against the bulge, inhaling him.
I lick the fabric.
I look up again, and he touches my cheek.
“My sweet, pretty boy.”
I blush.
“So beautiful that it’s hard to grasp sometimes.”
I pull his boxers down, and his cock springs free.
Oh. Wow. Okay.
How will that ever fit anywhere?
“You’re, uh—” I need to explain this so that Caspian won’t panic about our size difference. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there’s a lot of you.”
“Baby, it’s okay,” Caspian says, sounding amused. “I’ve noticed.”
“But how can we ever have sex when you’re this big and I’m like a miniature human!”
“It will be alright.”
“Really?”
“Really. And obviously we will never do anything that scares or hurts you.”
I nod, feeling calmer. If Caspian’s not freaking out, it’s probably okay then.
I wrap my hand around his length, marveling at the velvety softness over the hardness.
It feels the same but still so different from my own.
I give the tip a tentative swirl with my tongue, sighing in satisfaction.
He tastes good. So good.
I wrap my lips around the head, sucking carefully.
Having his cock in my mouth gives me a surprising rush of intense pleasure.
He makes a choked sound when I go back to lapping the precum gathered in the tip.
I wonder what happens if I lick along the length.
He moans.
Every time he makes a noise I decide it’s my new favorite sound.
My tongue traces the veins.
He swears.
I smile, kissing the tip. There’s so much I want to do—and I want it all at the same time. I want to savor every pearly drop of precum, but also draw a map of the purple veins with my tongue.
I want to take him so deep in my throat that there isn’t room for anything
else. I want to bury my face in his pubes and inhale him.
“Fuck, I’m so close already.”
Caspian sounds completely undone. I love it.
I look up, and his eyes are full of wonder, mirroring what I feel.
Alternating between sucking and licking, I hum happily every time he tells me how good it feels. His hands are on my head, stroking my hair lightly.
I release him, letting my mouth rest.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I say breathlessly. “Can you—” My face flushes. “I need you to take control.”
His cock twitches in front of me, and I lick it.
Caspian searches my face in that intense way he has until he nods.
I feel a rush of relief when he guides my head toward his cock.
He presses the head between my lips, going a little deeper than I did.
I open my mouth as wide as I can, trying to relax my jaw.
“Perfect. You’re so good at this.”
“Mhm.” I nod happily, and then I’m slurping and sucking, my eyes shut in concentration.
He keeps the thrusts shallow and gentle.
“What a good boy you are, swallowing my cock like that.”
I let out a small whimper. The more he praises me, the less afraid I am. Some weird, unnamed fear I had inside me is gone.
I know how to give him pleasure.
I can do it so well that he’s proud of me.
He’s proud of his good boy.
My jaw is aching, but it’s a delicious, glorious ache, almost like a reward.
“I’m going to come so hard,” he groans, pulling out.
I stare in fascination as he gives himself long, rapid strokes.
“Good,” I whisper. “I want it all.”
He curses.
“Open your mouth. Tongue out.”
Eagerly, I do as he says, just in time for the first burst to hit my tongue.
I swallow as best I can, but there’s a lot. The rest of his cum drips down my jaw.
When he’s finished, I wrap my hand around him again and bring the tip back into my mouth, closing my eyes.
I want to stay like this forever.
He lets me hold him on my tongue for a while longer while he strokes my hair and whispers how much he loves me.
“Sweetie, I’m pulling out now,” he whispers, and I blink slowly, realizing I might have spaced out for a second.
He pulls up his boxers and trousers and eases down on the floor. Settling against the washer, legs stretched out, he draws me into his lap.
Then, very gently, he wipes my face clean with the hem of his shirt and presses kisses first on my forehead, then on my nose, then on my mouth.
I rest my head against his chest and sigh in deep contentment.
“All good?” he asks.
“So good.” I shift in his lap. “Although my pants feel kind of gross.”
He kisses the top of my head.
“I can imagine.”
He strokes my hair slowly. I lean into the touch, closing my eyes. His heartbeat is steady under my ear, grounding me in a way nothing else ever has.
“You did so well.”
“Really?”
“Really. I loved it.”
“Yeah?” I feel almost shy.
“Yeah. Turns out you were right about the detergent. It really is romantic.”
“I told you I can do swoony.”
He stares at me solemnly, his thumb tracing my jaw.
“Baby, I don’t think there’s anything you can’t do.”