Chapter Fifteen
As much as I loved snow, if I had to pick one season to live in for the rest of my life, it would be spring. I loved how erratic the weather was. Most people complained about that, but I loved how the cool morning air reminded you that winter wasn’t quite over yet so it was too early to put away your sweaters, but then by the afternoon it was too warm for one because summer was fast approaching. Spring symbolized fresh, new beginnings and reminded me that summer break was almost here. It wasn’t just school that had me stressing out this semester, so I was beyond anxious for it to be over.
My secret friendship with Tobias was starting to get complicated.I knew that no one else could possibly know; I hadn’t even told Alex about it yet.And after Julie almost walked in on…whatever was about to happen in that classroom, I hadn’t even stayed after class to talk to him. Our outside-of-class communication was strictly through text these days.Things were finally starting to quiet down about my dad, and the last thing I wanted was to spark even more gossip about my family.
Even though Dr. Kiuchi was back and Tobias was no longer teaching my class, he was still in a position of authority, which would not look the greatest if we were to start spending more time together publicly. It was definitely in both of our best interests to keep our friendship quiet for now.
So, we texted… a lot. I had never been one of those people who spent a lot of time on her phone, but it was the only safe way to communicate with him so lately I was constantly on my phone.
On Tuesdays I didn’t have time to eat an actual lunch, so I grabbed a muffin and a cup of coffee on my way to our class.My phone vibrated in my pocket with a notification from Tobias:Twilight marathon on tonight. Figured you’d be interested though I still find your taste in vampires questionable.
I set down my coffee on a nearby bench so I could respond: I like glittery things
I made a mental note to stock up on snacks after class. Then, before I could respond, another text came through: See you in a few minutes :)
When I walked into the class, Tobias was already there. We briefly made eye contact before I made my way to my desk and sat down. He now sat in a corner, observing instead of leading lectures. Dr. Kiuchi was a good teacher—an interesting lecturer and very knowledgeable—but I found myself a bit distracted. It didn’t help that every time I dared to glance over at him, he was looking at me with a knowing smirk. I felt my cheeks redden in response every single time.
“Yes, I know you submitted these via the internet, but I’ll be honest, I am not the kind of teacher that grades well online. I prefer pen and paper, so while you will continue submitting assignments electronically, I will often have Tobias here print them for me. Very well done, by the way. It’s obvious I left you in capable hands during my medical leave,” Dr. Kiuchi said as he and Tobias passed out the graded papers.
Tobias had mine, and he winked as he set it on my table.
“Well done, Miss Seger,” he said quietly, but beaming with pride.
It was a huge relief to see that bright red Aat the top of the page.
“There’s no way she got a higher score than me,” Julie whispered angrily from the desk behind mine to whom I could only assume was her friend, though for the life of me I couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to be her friend. There were so many things I wanted to say, but I thought better of it and kept my mouth shut. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop her from talking.
“Maybe cheating runs in her family,” she snarled, and with that she marched up to Dr. Kiuchi’s desk, leaving me speechless in her wake.
What did her opinion matter, anyway? I finally earned an A for the first time all semester, and I wasn’t going to let Julie’s hatefulness take that away from me.I was still on cloud nine as I left the fine arts building, but I knew I needed to hit the library before I could really celebrate my win from today.
Once I made it to the library, I quickly found what I needed and printed the articles for my next project in my macroeconomics class. We were discussing supply and demand this week and were told to write a paper discussing how tariffs and other factors can affect supply and demand of the imported good of our choice. I chose coffee as my imported good in hopes of making the assignment a little less boring. When I finally made it back to my room, I was mentally exhausted and ready to binge-watch the Twilight marathon and chill in the comfort of my bed.
I walked in as Alex was about to head out. This seemed to be our normal lately; we passed each other like two ships in the night. Between classes and her track practices, it was hard to find a moment to actually hang out.
“Hey, stranger,” I teased her. “Where are you heading?”
“Melissa’s having people over. Want to go with me?” Alex asked as she zipped up her jacket. “She’s having a movie night—Twilight marathon—so we can meet her new boyfriend. There will be pizza,” she crooned, knowing my weakness.
I had intended on watching the marathon anyway, so I might as well get to spend some time with Alex and eat some free pizza out of the deal, right?
“Okay, I’m in. Give me two seconds.”
“Really? Yay!” I think Alex was a bit surprised but excited over the fact that I was willingly socializing.
Melissa had an apartment on the other side of campus—within walking distance—but it was too cold to walk tonight, so I drove since I knew Alex would inevitably be impaired later.
When we pulled up into the guest parking lot at her complex, we could already hear the music blaring. You would think by the level of noise being emitted from her second-floor apartment there was a stereotypical rager like in the movies, but I knew better. There were probably five other people up there besides Melissa. They just liked their music too loud to allow any rational thoughts.
“Tamsin!” Melissa greeted me enthusiastically. She was a petite girl with dark hair, beautiful brown skin, and boundless energy. “How did Alex get you to come out tonight?”
“She promised pizza,” I said with a laugh.
“Figures!” She joined me in laughter before adding, “It should be here in a few minutes. Do you know everyone?”
I shook my head slightly. I recognized most of their faces: Shaye, who was Melissa’s roommate, and Toni who lived across the hall, but I didn’t know the other girl or the two guys who were there tonight.
“This is my cousin, Nikki,” Melissa said, pointing to the unfamiliar tall girl with the same exotic coloring as herself.
“Hey,” Nikki said with a wide, toothy grin.
“That’s Noah,” Melissa continued, and the dark-haired boy in the corner raised his hand in acknowledgement. “And this is Sergio,” she finished, wrapping her arms around his neck.
Ah, he must be her new boyfriend Alex was talking about. He’s at least a foot taller than her, so even with her on her tiptoes, he has to bend to place a kiss on her lips. He’s cute—better looking than her last boyfriend, anyway.
The pizza arrived, so everyone settled down to watch the movie and stuff our faces with pizza. I forgot to bring my water bottle, so I headed to the kitchen to find something non-alcoholic. Unfortunately, the choices were limited. Noah was in there, rummaging through the fridge.
“Want a beer?” Noah offered.
“No, thanks. I’m good with the punch,” I said, grabbing the pitcher from the fridge.
“Suit yourself,” he said, laughing at my expense. I was sure I sounded childish preferring Kool-Aid over beer, but I’ve never been a fan of the taste of it.
I located the glasses and poured myself a drink. Melissa must have been feeling fancy tonight because there were all sorts of fresh fruit in the punch. It seemed a little out of place for pizza and a movie night, but who was I to judge?
I must have underestimated how thirsty the pizza made me because I downed the contents of the large glass in one guzzle, then poured myself another one before heading back into the living room.
I finished my pizza and punch, then stood up to throw my paper plate away, but I must have stood up too fast because I was suddenly very dizzy and disoriented.
“Whoa,” I exclaim, bracing myself against the nearest chair.
Alex rushed to my side. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know, I just feel…off.” And then it occurred to me what this feeling was. “Um, what’s in the punch?”
Noah let out a boisterous laugh. “That would be vodka and rum.”
“What?! But I’m the DD,” I complained.
“How much did you drink?” Alex asked.
“One. No, two. Yeah, two glasses.”
She laughed. “Lightweight. But you should be fine in a few hours, and if not, it’s okay. I haven’t drank anything but diet soda.”
“Phew,” I said, feeling relieved.
“Come on, you lush. Let’s finish watching Edward get his ass kicked by a girl.”
“You know, I’m still really angry about this scene. As if Edward would ever get his ass kicked by anyone. The director was definitely Team Jacob. It’s no wonder Rob hated making these films. Have you ever watched the first one with Rob, Kristen, and whatever the director’s name is talking over each scene as you watch the movie? It’s hi-larious. Rob is so self-deprecating and adorable, and Kristen is annoying, but that’s beside the point,” I ranted.
Alex laughed. “Oh my gosh, Drunk Tamsin might be my new favorite Tamsin.”
“Am I talking too much?” I asked, hiccupping.
She just laughed and went back to watching the movie, but it was no longer holding my attention, so I texted Tobias:These movies don’t do the books justice but sparkly vampires are still my favorite.
He replied: I’m watching too
This could be fun. After that we texted back and forth about the movie—the cringey dialogue, the background music we liked, funny lines that made us laugh.I wished that I was with him so I could see the expression on his face whenever he made a joke. Would it be how I imagined, or would he surprise me? I didn’t know if it was the rum or something else, but I suddenly felt very bold. So I texted him again: I want to see you
He immediately responded: Where are you?
I sent him the address, and he replied: See you in ten minutes out front
I snuck out of the apartment before anyone could notice and made my way down the rickety stairs to wait for Tobias in the parking lot.
He pulled up just moments later, and I ran over to him before he even got out of the car.
“You’re here!” I threw my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tightly to him. I never wanted him to let me go. He leaned his face in toward my own, and for a split second I thought he might kiss me…and I realized there wasn’t anything in the world I wanted more than that. I thought that maybe he felt it too, but suddenly, he pulled back.
“You’re drunk.”
“This is true.” I nodded solemnly, but then I felt a smile form on my lips.
“I should take you home.”
“Your house or mine?” I tried to make my voice sound seductive, but I wasn’t sure if it worked or not.
“Yours, of course.”
“But what if I want to go to yours?” I asked, running a single finger down his chest.
“Tamsin, no. Not like this. You’re drunk.”
“I’m not that drunk.” I put my arms out in a T and touched the tip of my nose in a swift, repetitive motion. “See? I can probably recite the alphabet backward, too…Z, Y, X, V…”
“Tamsin...I,” he started, but I didn’t let him finish. I threw my arms around his neck and pressed every inch of my body against his. There was no space between us, yet it wasn’t nearly close enough. I stood on my tippy toes and gently pressed my lips to his neck, then slowly I moved up to his jaw, and finally up to his ear.
“Do you want me to stop?” I whispered softly in his ear.
His response was wordless as he brought his lips to my own and turned us in one motion so that he was able to lean me up against his car—one hand in my hair and the other wrapped around my waist holding me to him. I let out a gasp in surprise.This kiss was not gentle, and that was exactly what I wanted. Weeks of pretending that I didn’t want this resulted in feeling like a dam just burst inside of me, and the overwhelming feeling of intense pleasure was almost too much to bear. I clumsily fiddled with the door handle behind me until I managed to get it open and pulled us both inside the backseat, him on top of me. Before I had a chance to truly get lost in the weight of his warm body on top of me, the softness of his lips and the intoxicating smell of, well, him …he pushed himself up onto his arms, hovering above me.
“As much as it pains me to do so, we have to stop,” he said with a sigh.
Shame and rejection swelled up inside me. This was not me. I didn’t get drunk and throw myself at men. I scrambled out from underneath him, refusing to make eye contact.
“Maybe you should take me home now.”
“Tamsin, I…”
“No.” I stopped him from speaking further. “Don’t…don’t say anything.”
He just nodded sadly. “I’ll take you home.”