21. Academic interest
Academic interest
T hey piled the other bodies on top of Alwin’s remains and burned them. The fire hissed and sputtered in the rain, smoke curling upward in uneven spirals before dissolving into the sky. Isolde stood a little apart from the others, watching the flames. She hated the sight, but refused to turn away.
She said a prayer to the Reaper. Not out loud, but in her mind. Even if these men came after them to hurt or kill, they were still people. Maybe they had families, lives they left behind. A silent prayer was the least she could do, for taking that from them.
They moved the camp some way upwind. A pale-faced Leif returned and helped without complaint. But he didn’t so much as glance at her. It stung a lot more than she thought it would.
The next morning as they were packing up, Luella stood staring into the distance where the sun had risen, her arms crossed and face pensive.
“We need to know more,” she stated. “Gather information somehow. Who else is following us?”
“How do you propose we do that?” Felix asked. “Ask a bird? ”
“ Birds can’t talk , Felix,” Luella deadpanned. “But Marsan is only a few days’ travel to the east from here.”
Garren shook his head. “I don’t like it. It would mean we need to split up.”
“No,” Isolde cut in. “We have to keep moving toward the Nexus.”
But Felix, damn him, agreed with Luella.
“Isa,” he began, in that tone he used when he was trying to be convincing and nice. For an instant, she wondered how many women he had swayed with that tone before. “I don’t like to admit it, but I think Luella is right.”
Luella glanced at him in surprise.
“We have already encountered two different groups out to kill you – or capture you – whatever they wanted. Who knows what others are out there? And what awaits at the Nexus? We’re in the dark out here.
That mage sent us on our way with next to no information, but clearly there is a lot going on we don’t know about. ”
Isolde pressed her lips together in a tight line. She didn’t want to admit they were right. She didn’t want to delay. But she also didn’t want anyone to get hurt because they walked blindly into another ambush.
Garren nodded. “In our urgency to leave Azuill, many questions were left unanswered. It would increase our chances, perhaps, to know more…”
Everyone was quiet for a while.
“Fine,” Isolde sighed finally. It was the right thing to do. Knowledge was, after all, its own kind of power. “I suppose it would help if we knew more. How do you want to do this?”
Luella chewed her cheek, then nodded toward the east. “It will take a day or so to reach the edge of the lowlands. If we camp somewhere hidden, two of us could head into Marsan. Pick up supplies. Ask around. Hear the news, the rumours.”
“Can I go?” Leif, who had thus far been silent, piped up. “I’ve never been to a city.”
Luella raised her eyebrows at him. “That doesn’t exactly qualify you as the best candidate.”
“I’ll take him,” Felix said. “I’ve spent some time in Marsan. It’s a small enough place to navigate. I know where to ask around. ”
Isolde absently clutched at the hem of her cloak, worrying the fabric between her fingers. Felix did not look at her as he offered to go, did not ask her opinion. And why would he? She had no claim over him, and he was the best candidate. It made sense.
“I was going to suggest you go,” Luella said, “but I’m not sure Leif should.”
Felix exchanged a grin with Leif. “It’s fine. I’ll keep him in check.”
***
Leif returned to his normal, talkative self with the others as they headed eastwards, but there was a forced edge to his chatter.
Isolde tried to catch his eye a few times, but he always looked away.
Isolde told herself he didn’t hate her, that it was likely fear, but that did not make the hurt any less.
Luella and Garren also acted differently.
Since the start of their journey, they had been protective of her, in their own way.
She had accepted that, even if she had pushed particularly Garren’s boundaries in experimenting with her magic.
But now, they seemed almost embarrassed of ever treating her like that in the first place.
Like they didn’t know how to interact with her anymore after what happened.
It wasn’t like she wanted hero treatment. She didn’t feel heroic; she had been terrified and acted on instinct. Still, she’d expected… She didn’t know what she’d expected. Not this awkwardness, at any rate.
Felix at least did not distance himself.
He kept his horse alongside hers in companionable silence, without questions or expectations.
The memory of his arms around her the night before flashed through her mind at irregular intervals throughout the day, leaving her both flustered and comforted, despite everything.
When they stopped for a brief break, Felix jumped off his horse first so he could hold Shadow for her as she dismounted, then took both horses to the stream to water them without a word.
Isolde found a place to sit and opened her notebook.
There were only a few blank pages left, she realised.
She sat and stared at the empty paper, wondering how she could ever put into words what she had done the previous night.
A handful of pebbles rose into the air and circled lazily.
The feat barely required any effort now.
As she watched the floating rocks, she became distantly aware of Felix climbing a low hill toward Leif, who was standing at the top and looking around.
They spoke for a while, but she couldn’t hear what they said.
Felix gestured wildly with his hands at some point and poked Leif in the chest, to which the younger man responded by ducking his head and glancing in her direction.
Finally, Felix clapped Leif on the shoulder and headed back down the hill.
He smiled when he saw her watching him, in that warm, soft way he rarely did. Her heart skipped a beat.
“What were you and Leif talking about?” she asked when he came to a halt at her side and rummaged through his pack.
“Not much. Threatened him a bit.”
“What?”
He glanced sideways at her with a grin that made her insides flutter. “You heard me. Sometimes people need a kick in the ass to think straight again.”
“I didn’t see you kick him,” she said with a slight frown. From the corner of her eye, Leif picked his way down the hill.
Felix laughed. “Not yet.”
When Leif got closer, Isolde watched as he took a deep breath and approached her. Felix straightened, a grin plastered on his face. “Go easy on him,” he said quietly. “He’s trying.” Then he walked off without another word.
“Hey,” Leif said, standing a few steps away from her. He crossed his arms, his eyes not quite meeting hers.
“Hello,” she replied, tilting her head.
“I, um…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m sorry.”
She blinked at him, surprised. “For what?”
“For avoiding you. For being… weird. After everything.”
“Oh, Leif.” Her expression softened. “It’s fine. I understand.”
“It’s not fine. You saved us. That’s the second time you’ve saved me. I should have thanked you, not… what I did. ”
Isolde smiled and then, impulsively, rose and threw her arms around him. He stood for a heartbeat, shocked, and then awkwardly hugged her back. She was so relieved she could have cried.
“You still kind of terrify me,” Leif mumbled when she released him.
She laughed. “I’m sorry. I terrify myself, too, if that helps.”
He grinned. “A little.”
“Let’s move on,” Garren called from near the horses, already mounting his own.
“So… we’re good?” Leif asked Isolde sheepishly.
She smiled and gave his arm a squeeze. “Yes. We’re good.”
***
The following morning they resumed their journey after a brief pause at a surprise apple tree, which had been full of small, sour fruits they gratefully added to their dwindling provisions. Isolde dug into her satchel for her notebook, flipping back and forth between pages and frowning.
“Did you write some scandalous poetry in your sleep?” Felix asked, a hint of teasing in his voice.
She smiled. “No. I’m just… trying to figure something out.”
“About what?”
“Magic.”
“Shocking.”
The corners of her mouth turned up. “You asked.”
“I did. So, what’s on your mind?”
For the first time since the ambush, excitement stirred inside her. She had been thinking about this a lot. “It’s something I’ve noticed,” she began. “Magic isn’t just in ley lines or in mages. I think it’s in everything – animals, plants, and people.”
“You’ve mentioned that before. The vase thing, right?” Felix said .
“No, this is different.” She hesitated, choosing her words carefully. “I think even people who can’t use magic still have it. When I healed Leif, it was like… I had to talk to the magic inside him to convince his body to heal.”
Felix raised an eyebrow, his face curious. “And…?”
“And I know that for a mage, their magic and their life force are intertwined. That’s why draining it from them – well, you know. But I wonder if it’s the same for others. I wish I could find out.”
“Why…?”
“Academic interest,” she replied, her gaze drifting into the distance. “It would explain a lot.”
“Not because you’re curious if you can essentially drain the literal life out of anyone, not only mages…
?” He asked, eyebrows raised even higher.
“Because I will admit that would be pretty terrifying. Just…” He reached out and spread his fingers, clawlike, then squeezed it into a fist. “Crush their minds. Or whatever it is you do.” He glanced sideways at her, and she caught his eye, then mimicked the movement he had made in his direction with a grin.
“Are you threatening me, my lady?” he asked, pressing a hand to his chest.
“Would you like me to?” She countered, smiling sweetly. A flash across his face of something darker, sharper, was her reward. Something wolfish.
“If it actually involves crushing minds,” she continued, feeling wicked, “then you have little to fear.”