38. Chosen #2
“Luella has been with me since the beginning,” she began, her voice hoarse but unwavering.
“She scouted the safest paths for us to travel. She stood guard through endless nights. She faced prejudice, and danger, and awful conditions without complaint. She spoke her mind, but always respected my decisions, and always gave everything she had.” Isolde swallowed thickly and continued.
“I wish she didn’t have to give as much as she did, in the end.
I wish she were still with us. Everything we accomplish here will be thanks to her courage and her sacrifice. ”
She raised a hand and lit the pyre. The magical flames engulfed Luella’s shrouded form instantly.
“Thank you, Luella,” Isolde said quietly, “for everything.”
They watched as the smoke billowed up. Leif held a fist over his heart, his eyes closed. Mia strummed a quiet, mournful tune on her lute.
When the pyre eventually burned low, the eagle took flight, wheeling once overhead before disappearing into the darkening sky.
***
Isolde had barely spoken since they had returned to the guest room – since she had let him pull her onto the bed, laid her head on his chest and drifted off, only to wake up again mere moments later, restless and fidgety.
Felix combed his fingers idly through her hair. Isolde shifted. “I meant what I said this morning,” she said, her voice quiet. “I have to stay here.”
Felix traced the ley line on her neck with a fingertip. “I know.”
She leaned into his touch. “I don’t know what comes next.
If the… the mages and the nobility and the world will let me do this.
” She chewed her lip. “But I have to try. Now that the Arcaenum is free, there will be other leytouched. The Nexus can be like that again, one day… Like it was in the memory. ”
“If anyone can accomplish that, it’s you,” Felix said.
“But they won’t make it easy. That Archmage is going to have a fit when he learns what you did.
People will start travelling here, to come and see what you are made of, or to try to manipulate you for their own ends.
Especially when your healing magic becomes common knowledge.
People with power, and money, and influence. ”
“People like my father,” Isolde said so quietly it was almost a whisper.
Felix sighed. “Yes. People like your father. But, Isa, you are not the same girl he sent off on a rowboat with two grumpy guards and a good-for-nothing sellsword.”
She lifted her head to smile at him. “Don’t exaggerate; he’s good for some things.”
He smiled back. “Fine, a few things.”
“Will you stay with me?”
Her face was so serious. It was a genuine question, he realised.
He fought the urge to laugh at the absurdity of it, but raised himself up on one elbow instead.
“Are you really asking me that? After all this? What else do you think I could possibly want to do? I’d rather spend the rest of my life with that evil bloody collar on than leave you.
Plus, there’s all the… weird magical shit. ”
Isolde’s smile widened. “The weird magical shit?”
“You know what I’m talking about.”
“I want to hear what you think about it.”
Felix sighed. The truth was, it made him extremely uncomfortable to think he was now somehow special, or different, through no action of his own. Power came with responsibility, with expectations. He didn’t want any of it.
“I don’t really know what to think about it, Isa. It is all very strange.” He took her hand in his own and traced the ley markings with his eyes. “You told me once, early on, that you felt like it should have been someone else who got the powers you did.”
Isolde nodded.
“This is similar. I’m not the kind of person for… responsibility. For leadership. I prefer to blend into the background.”
Isolde huffed a small laugh. “You do not blend into any background. ”
She lay back down, burrowing into his side, her body warm against his.
Felix waited, listening to her breathing as it slowed, thinking she had finally fallen asleep.
His free hand brushed over the hilt of his axe by the side of the bed, making sure it was within reach, before closing his eyes as well.
Just as he drifted off, she spoke again, soft and quiet. “When you touched the chain, what did you see?”
Felix took a deep breath. “Nothing. I just heard a voice.”
“What did it say?”
He hesitated. “It was a complete asshole, if you must know. It mostly called me names. Useless, worthless, weak. A coward. The usual.”
Isolde made a disapproving noise and pushed herself up, draping an arm across his chest, pressing her face into the curve of his neck. He felt her breath warm against his skin before she spoke again. “Did you realise that the voice was your own?”
Felix frowned, staring up at the ceiling. “I… no.”
“Your worst fears. Your worst thoughts about yourself.”
She went quiet for a while, slowly threading her fingers through his hair.
“When it was me,” she finally whispered, “it said I would fail. I would be bound, I would wither and die, I would never have the strength to come out of this alive. I was doomed from the start and stupid to think I wasn’t.
But the only thing that truly made me feel like I had lost was when it said you would abandon me to my fate. ”
Felix caught her hand in his own and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.
“But you saved me instead,” she whispered. “You saved me in more ways that I can explain. Whatever you may think, to me you are worth everything.”