Chapter 4 #5
Entering a receiving room decorated in pale pink and salmon, he saw Lady Hargate seated in a large chair.
There was something oddly familiar in her unyielding poise as she held herself upright and straight-backed, in the way she extended her hand to him as she remained sitting.
She seemed exactly as he remembered, like a bird that infinitely preferred the shelter of its luxurious cage to the beckoning world outside.
Once, she must have been a lovely woman.
Damon kissed her thin hand respectfully.
“You may sit beside me,” she said, and he obeyed at once.
“Lady Hargate, I apologize for the inconvenience of my call—”
“It is a welcome pleasure to see you,” she interrupted gently, “as well as an overdue one. Tell me, how is your family?”
“My brother William is well. Unfortunately my father has had a series of brain hemorrhages which have left him very weak.”
“I am sorry.” Her voice was filled with sincerity.
Damon was silent for a moment, debating on how to proceed.
He didn't want to make small talk, and from the way she was looking at him, it was clear that she expected him to bring up the subject of Julia.
“Have you heard from your daughter?” he asked abruptly.
“You must have had some news of her. It's been three years.”
She was evasive but not unfriendly as she replied. “Have you continued your search for her, Lord Hargate?”
Damon nodded, staring at her intently. “Yes, without any luck. Julia Hargate doesn't seem to exist anywhere in the civilized world.”
In the next room, Julia pressed her ear close to the door, embarrassed to be eavesdropping but unable to stop herself. She was unbearably curious to find out what Savage would say to her mother, what tactics he would use to try to discover the truth.
“And if you do eventually find my daughter?” Eva inquired. “What are your intentions toward her, my lord?”
“From all indications, Julia is either afraid or unwilling to take her place as my wife. God knows I don't blame her. We're complete strangers. All I want is to know that she is well, and that she has everything she needs. Then I intend to resolve the matter in any way Julia prefers.”
“What if she wants to remain your wife? She may desire to become a duchess someday.”
“Then let her tell me so herself,” Damon replied grimly, his tension suddenly whipping out of control.
“Let me see it in her eyes, and hear it in her voice.
Damn her, I'd like to know what she desires, so I can stop looking for her and be done with this!” Instantly he regretted the outburst, fearing he had offended the delicate creature.
“Pardon—” he muttered, but she waved the apology away and looked at him with disconcerting understanding.
“More than anything,” she said, “my daughter wishes to make choices for herself…and she has always rebelled against the fact that one of the greatest choices of all was stolen from her. Of course you must feel the same way.”
Suddenly Damon's emotions rushed within him like a river battering against a crumbling dam.
There was no one in the world he trusted enough to confide in, not even William.
His problems, his feelings, had always been his own burden, and he alone had been responsible for them.
But at this moment the need to tell them to someone was one of the most powerful compulsions he had ever known.
Damon flexed his hands and spread his palms on his knees.
“Yes, I feel the same way,” he said, his voice raspy.
He couldn't bring himself to look at her.
“I know why Julia rebelled, and why she's unable to face the consequences of what Lord Hargate and my father arranged.
Although I've always known it wasn't her fault, I still blamed Julia for things she had nothing to do with.
For years I hated her, almost as much as I hated my father for being a spendthrift and a gambler.
I tried to forget her very existence. My mother's death and my father's ill health enabled me to bury myself in a world of new responsibilities.
But Julia was always there in the back of my mind.
I've never been able to love anyone, never felt I had the right to, because of her. I realized I could only be free of her by facing her.”
“I never realized how the marriage would affect the two of you,” Eva murmured.
“At the time it seemed to make a strange sort of sense.
Two families of good blood, ensuring that their children would each have a suitable life's partner…
I felt relief, knowing that my daughter's future was taken care of, and that she would someday have a title that everyone would respect.
Perhaps it would have been an acceptable arrangement for any other child but Julia.
Unfortunately, I didn't know that my own family would be torn apart by the decision I acquiesced to.
I didn't understand what a strong will she had…has,” she corrected with a rueful smile.
“What is she like?” Damon heard himself ask thickly.
“Julia doesn't resemble me, or her father…
it seemed that even as a child she relied on her own opinions and judgment rather than defer to ours.
I wish she weren't quite so independent—I don't believe that is a particularly useful quality for a woman.
But there is another side to her, fanciful, passionate, and vulnerable.
She has infinite moods and interests. I've never found her to be the least bit predictable…”
As Damon stared at Lady Hargate, his attention was caught by the glitter of jewels amid the ruffles at her throat.
She kept talking, but the meaning of the words was suddenly elusive, all sound muffled by the startled drumming of his heart.
He glanced away to keep from betraying his thoughts, but an image burned brightly in his mind, and sudden knowledge exploded inside him. He fought to keep his breathing steady.
She was wearing the ruby pin he had given Jessica Wentworth.
There was no other like it in the world, and no possible way Lady Hargate could have received it except…
It had been a gift from her daughter…Jessica Wentworth…Julia Hargate.