Chapter 35 A New Year’s Eve Confession
A New Year’s Eve Confession
Ihave my room back, and it’s total bliss.
Aunt Sarah left yesterday to spend a few nights in Ocean City to celebrate the new year before she moves into her new apartment.
She wanted Carole to go with her, and Carole was going to go, but at the very last minute she decided not to.
So, Aunt Sarah gathered her things and with a curt goodbye and a dramatic door slam, she was gone.
Millie is still here, though, and I assume Aunt Sarah will retrieve her after she settles into her new apartment.
Part of me doesn’t want her to go. Sammy and Millie seem to have come to an agreement to cohabitate in peace.
Sammy no longer hides under Carole’s bed, and they even nap together occasionally.
Carole, however, seems to be falling into a deeper depression.
She has called in sick to work a few times, and she loves her job at the library.
I believe she is more lost without Mom than I am.
Once again, I’m back at my little oak desk staring at the blank card in front of me, trying to find the right words to write.
I’ve attempted to write this card two other times since the last night of Hanukkah with no success.
I’ve been overthinking what to say and perhaps simple is best. I had announced to Dad that I would make my decision after New Year’s Day, but truthfully, I had already made up my mind about what I wanted to do.
I chew on the end of the pen as I stare at the ceiling.
I’ve moved from pen chewing to nail biting when it occurs to me what to write.
I choose you!
Why?
Because we’re family!
I stare at the card, now filled with my words, and think, Yes, that’s perfect. I sign my name, seal the card, and tuck it back into my book, hiding it away for the right moment.
“Well, don’t you look spiffy!” Carole looks me up and down.
I give a little bow. “Thank you.” I’m wearing the new shirt she bought me for Hanukkah, and I ironed my khaki pants for a change. Clearly, it’s an improvement over my usual attire.
“Paul will be so impressed I ironed my pants. He always presses his clothes. He’s a bit of a neat freak, you know.”
“Yes, I do! And I’ve only met him once. Your friends are very sweet, Simon, but I don’t know about that one. There is something not right about him.”
“I thought the same thing at first, but he just takes a bit of getting used to. He has strange quirks, but he’s been a loyal friend to me.”
Carole marks her place with her bookmark and puts her book down. She sits up straighter and motions me to come over. I sit next to her, and she gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“Simon, since it’s New Year’s Eve, you can stay out past your curfew tonight.
But be home no later than 1:30. Okay? I’m trusting you and PJ, and all your other friends for that matter, to make good decisions.
You’re almost an adult now. In a few days you will be seventeen.
I basically have one more year where I can tell you what to do. Go! Enjoy your night.”
“Do you regret not going with Aunt Sarah to Ocean City to ring in the New Year?”
“Oh, hell no! Truthfully, I was relieved to get out of it. I’ve had enough of Sarah for a while.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Sarah, and she is your mom’s sister, but she is a bit of a handful.
Not to mention a drama queen. No, I’m happy to curl up with this book and maybe open a bottle of wine later.
I might even watch the ball drop on TV if I can stay awake.
Please don’t worry about me; go have a good time. Give PJ a kiss for me.”
And with that, she playfully pushes me off the couch and picks her book up. I wave goodbye and head outside to wait for PJ.
I’m excited to see PJ, but I’m also a tad skittish about tonight.
Things have been somewhat tense between us over him not telling his parents about me.
I’ve had to let it go, or I was afraid we might stop speaking to each other altogether.
But the main reason I’m so nervous is tonight might be…
the night! We haven’t had much alone time because of my family obligations associated with Mom’s passing.
Sure, we have done some heavy petting and some very heavy petting during a couple of stolen moments.
But the good stuff, the stuff that’s brand new to me, hasn’t happened yet.
But I want it to. We both do and we certainly have talked about it enough during our late-night phone calls during my recent bouts of insomnia.
After Carole goes to bed, after 11:22 when the alien lies dormant and I find myself unable to sleep, I call PJ and we talk for hours through the night.
At first, the talks were PJ being his sweet self and keeping me company.
He would listen to me ramble like Mom did when I was a little kid.
Eventually—inevitably—our talks turned to sex.
PJ is more experienced than I am. He has had sex before.
I have not and kissing a few girls has not prepared me for what is sure to come.
We’ve talked for hours now about all the things we want to do together.
All while pleasuring ourselves while on the phone together.
The excitement is now at a fever pitch, and we are standing at the precipice.
PJ arrives, pulling me out of my deep thoughts—my sex thoughts—and I jump in the car and give him a big, wet kiss. Then another.
“I’m happy to see you too.” PJ grins between kisses.
“The second kiss was from Carole.”
“I’m not sure how I feel about that. I like Carole and all, but should she be kissing me like that?”
We laugh, hands clasped, as he drives away.
“It sucks we have to change venues at the last minute for your party,” PJ says. “I was hoping that after midnight we could sneak into your bedroom for some alone time. You know what I mean, right?”
“Duh! Of course, I know what you mean. We have only been talking about it for weeks now. You know that was my plan, but Carole decided to stay home. What could I do? I was really looking forward to hosting a party too. Don’t laugh at me, but I’ve never had a real party before.
Birthdays with Neel, Mags, and family at TGI Fridays don’t count.
This was supposed to be my first real party.
It’s New Year’s Eve and I have a ton of friends now, not to mention a hot boyfriend. I wanted…a…party!”
“You think I’m hot?” PJ gently strokes my thigh as the blood rushes to all the right places. I shiver.
“Okay, Romeo, enough. Save it for later.” I pat his hand, then go back to holding it.
We pull up to Suzi’s house. She is waiting for us in the driveway, sitting on the trunk of her parents’ car.
She gives PJ a hug and reluctantly gives me one as well before climbing in the back of the car.
She is back to full goth attire and looks fierce.
There’s lingering awkwardness between us, but I’m glad PJ’s BFF and I are getting along well enough to be civil to each other.
We’re halfway to Paul’s house, who saved the day by letting us use his place for an unchaperoned party, when Suzi drops a bomb on us.
“So, don’t freak out…but I want to tell you both something before we get to the party. Just so there are no surprises…um…I don’t know how to put this, so I’ll just say it. Neel and I are dating.”
“Shit the bed!” I whip around to look into Suzi’s eyes. “No way! Neel hasn’t said a word to me about this. And there’s no way Mags could keep her mouth shut about something this juicy.”
“Well, that’s because Mags doesn’t know about it. Nobody knows. Well, not until now anyway.”
“Suz, why didn’t you tell me?” PJ asks, sounding disappointed.
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because I didn’t want you overreacting. It’s only been a few dates after all. He slipped into my DMs after meeting me during shiva at Simon’s apartment. He tracked me down on TikTok.”
“OMG. He used shiva to search for a love connection? Gross!” PJ exclaims.
“Yeah, I saw him staring at me the whole night. I’m not blind. Most people won’t even look at me unless it’s with disgust. It was nice to have someone look at me that way. Yeah, he’s awkward, but except for you, PJ, who in this little group of weirdos isn’t?”
“Truth,” I say. “And by the way, I think it’s totally awesome. Oh my God, wait until Mags finds out. She will freak the fuck out. Prepare yourself.”
“I dunno, I think your friend Mags will be more wrapped up in her own dating drama than worried about me and Neel. I’ve been talking with Latica, and she totally has a crush on Mags, but so does Toni.
And from what I’ve pieced together, I think both of them are going to make a move tonight at the party. ”
“Oh my!” says PJ in his best George Takei imitation. “This is going to be a New Year’s Eve to remember.”
“Yep, I think you’re right,” I say, while PJ slyly resumes rubbing my thigh.
We knock on Paul’s front door.
“Hold on. Just a minute,” says a muffled voice.
The door opens to reveal Paul’s mom, Janice, smoking a cigarette with one hand and putting on a high-heeled shoe with the other. “Come on in, everyone’s downstairs,” she trills.
“Oh, hi, Mrs.—Janice? I didn’t expect to see you.” My heart drops. Maybe this party will be chaperoned after all.
“Don’t worry about me. I’m getting out of your hair soon. I’m heading out with the girls from work tonight. I’m not a prudish helicopter parent. I even bought you all some beer and wine; just don’t get drunk now.”
“Oh, wow! That’s awesome. Thanks!” I squeeze PJ’s hand. Looks like there will be another first tonight.
“Now, I don’t want any phone calls from your parents tomorrow.” Janice laughs as she bends down to put on her other shoe. She stops and stares at Suzi. “Is this Halloween or New Year’s? Sweetheart, you’re dressed like a vampire.”
“Janice, what are you doing? Leave her alone.” Paul emerges from the basement stairs. “Yes! Suzi is a real-life vampire, and she drinks blood. Do you want her to drink your blood?”
“She drinks blood?” Janice pales.
“No, Janice, she doesn’t drink blood. I’m being sarcastic. Next time think before you open your mouth and be nice to my friends, please.”
“I’m sorry, dear. Don’t mind this old lady. I’m not hip with the current style of dress.”
Suzi half smiles and heads downstairs with PJ. I stay upstairs and thank Paul and his mom for letting me host my party here at their house at the last minute.
“Oh, no, sweetheart, I should be thanking you. I almost fell on the floor when Paulie said he had friends coming over for New Year’s Eve.
I never thought this day would happen. I love my Paulie, but you know, he is not a normal teenager.
I never imagined he would have a group of friends let alone a party, so thank you. ”
I put my arm around Paul. “Paul is the best, and I’m happy he is my friend.”
I think Paul blushes, but it’s hard to tell as his face is already so red from the acne. Janice dabs at her eyes that are beginning to tear up.
“All right, enough of this bullshit.” Paul nudges me down the hall toward the stairs. “Goodbye, Janice,” he says.
Paul’s mom waves and heads out the front door just as Hector and Jamal arrive. Jamal is a lot taller in person than I imagined. Like Hector, he is all muscle, and the two of them make a striking pair. I rush to hug Hector. He gives me a warm embrace and gestures to Jamal.
“Simon, this is Jamal, my numero uno.”
“Hi, Simon. I want you to know, Hector talks about you all the time. It’s great to finally meet you in person.”
Jamal extends his hand and gives me a firm handshake. Both he and Hector are dressed stylishly. Their clothes, clearly, are not from big box stores. They smell of musky cologne and minty toothpaste.
“It’s great to meet you too. I’m so glad you two could stop by. I’m anxious for you to meet PJ and the rest of my friends. This is Paul, and this is his house. We were just about to head downstairs to the party.”
But before we can take a step forward, Mags’ voice reverberates from downstairs. “You’re what?”
I look at Paul. “I’m guessing Neel and Suzi just broke the news to Mags.”
“What news?” Paul looks puzzled.
“That they’re dating.”
“Neel and Suzi are dating?”
“Yep!”
“Okay, that’s just weird.”
“I know, but you know what? We’re all weird. Just be happy for them and let them be weird together.”
“Okay.” Paul shrugs as we join the party.