Chapter 44 1122, Revisited
What a roller coaster of a day—not to mention a week—it’s been.
After filling out the police report, we joined PJ’s parents at Tara Thai for lunch.
PJ’s parents have come around since we showed up at their house on the night of my panic attack.
The leisurely lunch was pleasant. Everyone got to know everyone else, and the conversation flowed freely.
There was no talk about panic attacks or the abuse I endured.
There was no mention of the fact that we had just come from the police station.
Though I believe there was an update because Dad’s phone rang during lunch, and he ran outside to take the call.
When he finally came back in, he and Carole shared a knowing look, and he put his hand on her shoulder reassuringly.
I didn’t ask any questions, and I still haven’t. Maybe I will tomorrow, maybe I won’t.
Later in the afternoon Mags, Neel, Suzi, Paul, and Latica joined me and PJ to go bowling.
Then, we came back to the apartment where Dad and Carole had cake and ice cream waiting for us.
I opened presents, and we played old vinyl records on the stereo.
Neel didn’t even complain about the music.
Neel and Suzi have quickly become a close couple and are so sweet to watch together.
It’s like they have been together for years.
Mr. and Mrs. Gupta aren’t thrilled their son started wearing eyeliner and dating a Jewish goth-girl.
But, like PJ’s parents, they are coming around, albeit slowly.
And as far as I know, Neel has not told Suzi about his trust fund.
Boy, will she be in for a surprise one day.
Mags and Toni broke up. Ironically, Toni is dating Mags’ bubble tea girl from the mall, but her hair is now as green as an Irish clover.
Latica still pines for Mags but hasn’t made any moves.
Mags remains oblivious to the fact that Latica likes her.
I think it’s because Latica is so quiet.
But I have a feeling they will find their way around to each other someday.
Maybe not tomorrow, next week or even next month, but someday.
Paul remains Paul, but Latica let it slip that he might be deviating from his life plan.
Apparently, he likes a new young waitress who works with Janice at the Airport Cafe.
As for PJ and me, we still haven’t done it, but I know that will happen in its own time too. I know we’re in this for the long haul.
I brush my teeth, take my medication, and crawl into bed.
Sammy and Millie make themselves comfortable next to me.
They have become inseparable. It’s weird how they hated each other at first, and now they are the best of friends.
I close my eyes and think about Mom. I’m glad she never found out about what happened to me.
I miss her so much. Some days I’m fine, but other days, the sadness seems endless.
I cuddle with PJ’s stuffed otter, Billy. It smells like him, and I like that. He said he could never sleep without it, but I guess he has found a way because he left it here for me. To watch over you, he said, when I can’t be there. I eventually drift off thinking about PJ’s sweet face.
Iwake at 11:22 p.m., turn my pillow to the cool side, and roll away from the alarm clock.
I cuddle with Billy, and I do my breathing exercises.
I don’t know if it will be like this for the rest of my life, waking up at 11:22 p.m. each night, or if it will fade away one day.
For now, I practice acceptance. I’m awake but not scared.
I feel calm. A heavy, sleepy feeling takes over and I’m at peace.
Yes, I still wake up at 11:22 p.m., but here’s what’s different.
I no longer experience fear. This time I feel something brand new… hope.