Chapter 8 All’s Fair In Love And War #2
He comes to a stop right out front, parking off to the side of an empty car slot.
Luke steadies us with one foot as he uses the other to kick down the stand.
Once everything is in place he hops off, spinning around to give me a hand.
I stand in front of him, heavy breaths leaving me.
Luke’s hands firmly grasp onto each side of the helmet as he lifts it from my head.
His gaze locks on mine as he bites down on his lip.
“I get it now,” he murmurs as he sweeps over my body.
His words send a shiver down my spine. I reach up to move a flyaway hair from my line of sight but his hand catches onto mine before I have the chance.
With his free hand, Luke reaches up and pushes the hair behind my ear.
His touch is much softer than it was previously, as if I had somehow become something delicate. Something he’s afraid to break.
A light blush creeps onto my cheeks when his hand begins to coast softly over my lips. His thumb increases in pressure as it hits my bottom lip, pulling it down and exposing my teeth.
“Such a pretty little thing.” His voice drips with sensuality as he admires me, and I’m unable to stop the throbbing that has begun between my legs.
“You think?” I whisper as my hands interlace in front of me. His left brow raises slightly as he drops his hands from my face. Luke untangles my hands from each other, taking one in his own and gently begins to pull me to the front door.
At long last he responds, “I do.”
The diner door swings open and the cool AC rushes out to me. It’s a welcome surprise compared to the blistering heat outside. I step in, relishing in the feeling.
“How can I help y’all?” A woman’s voice hits my ears with a heavy southern accent.
“Our group is already here,” Luke replies, using the hand holding the helmet to point at a booth close to the back.
My heart stops when my eyes land on where he’s pointing.
If there was ever a time I could disappear, now would be it.
Beautiful red hair flows down the back of a jean jacket and her laughter fills the air almost as if she knew I needed the certainty.
No no no! I bite onto my tongue to hold back the nausea threatening to break free.
Next to Abby sits the one person I never wanted to see again.
Saint’s arm sits loosely wrapped around Abby’s shoulders, Slightly leaning forward to listen to whom I assume is Jackson.
The blue hair is almost a dead giveaway but the tears blurring my vision make it impossible to be certain.
“Are you alright, baby?” The woman asks. I turn away from her and towards the front windows, doing my best to quickly dry my eyes.
“Yeah all good,” I respond before I grab onto Luke’s hand and begin walking over to the booth. I knew eventually I was going to have to face them, I just hadn’t expected it to be so soon. I wasn’t done harboring my guilt alone.
Jackson is the first to notice us, giving us a beaming smile and a wave over.
“At least someone is happy we’re here,” Luke laughs as we stride closer to the trio.
I stop dead in my tracks, halting him along with me. “What did you just say?” I ask, trying to keep my voice from rising.
His eyes roll before they glare at me with irritation. “I told you you were here to help me with something, didn't I?”
I give him a frustrated scowl, forcing him to give me more information. His thumb glides up to his face, gently rubbing along the bruising cut. “Your little boyfriend didn’t like my hands on you.”
A shocked gasp escapes me as I finally connect the dots. The wound was Saint’s doing. But why? Why would he care if Luke touched me? He seemed so into it at the moment.
“You guys coming?” Jackson calls over to us, the same goofy grin plastered across his face. Saint turns around, glaring harshly at Luke who squeezes my hand and smiles back in return. The notion makes me sick to my stomach.
We finish our walk to the table, both sliding into the same side as Jackson. My eyes don’t leave the plastic menu splayed out before us. Shame keeps them down, away from Saint and Abby.
“Hey Nova,” her voice lightly travels across the table. “I missed you.” Only then do I finally look up. Her bright green eyes are full of sunshine, like they’ve always been. “I heard from your mom that you weren’t doing well, so I didn’t want to bug you too much.”
My throat closes up around the words I wish I could say, so instead I smile and hope she senses my gratitude. Not that I deserve her kindness.
“Anyways,” Jackson starts off, dragging the S out to grab everyone's attention. “I was just starting to tell everyone about this new website for the shop!”
He continues on, going into great detail about his excitement over the expansion, but I lose focus on the conversation as my eyes lock onto Saint.
I watch as he occasionally nods or smiles at whatever Jackson is saying, hurt radiating through my chest at what seems to be genuine happiness on his face. How can he just be fine?
Abby and him take turns responding, but everything sounds as if it's underwater. Like I’m drowning in the fresh air surrounding us. Muffled pitches flutter into my ears as Abby laughs at something Luke says.
My nails dig into my palms, leaving little silhouettes of crescent moons along the surface.
It’s not nearly enough to bring me back to the present, and I continue to fall deeper into my own wailing thoughts.
How can he just sit by her like nothing happened?
He’s with Abby, why does he care what Luke and I do?
Why did Luke call him mine? The last straw finally snaps as he leans into Abby, whispering something in her ear that causes her to blush.
Why can’t that be me?
The wrongfulness of my thoughts have my head spinning. “Please excuse me,” I let out, barely containing the whimpers that dance behind my teeth. I slide out of the booth, not bothering to turn around as Abigail calls out my name. It’s too much. All of this is too much.
I shouldn’t be here.
I ruin everything.
I am a mistake.
The door to the diner slams shut behind me and my feet pound heavily against the concrete as I make my way further from the building.
My breaths come out short, causing my vision to swim.
Guilt pounds against my skull as I try to work through my feelings.
I can’t have him. I know that. So why does it hurt so bad?
My knees begin to wobble by the time I make it to the other side of the parking lot, forcing me to find a seat along the curb.
Tears flow down my facial structure freely as I stare out onto the empty road in front of me.
Thankfully a line of Eastern White Pines blocks my view of the diner.
The last thing I need is for them to have front row seats at my undoing.
“Nova?” A familiar voice calls from behind me, the thuds of his boots against the ground causing twigs to snap.
Anger mixes with my embarrassment when I peak over my shoulder to find him standing behind me. “What is wrong with you?” I choke out in between sobs.
Saint slowly eases his way down to the ground, sitting cross legged next to me. His face is etched with pain.
“How can you just sit there like nothing happened?” I bring my sleeve up to wipe the snot drizzling from my nose, too upset to care about how I look.
“It’s not that simple, Nova.” He responds, his voice coming out light.
“You kissed me!” I raise my trembling voice before turning back to look at the road.
A stray car travels past us, becoming the only other witness to my meltdown.
“You kissed me like nothing mattered. Like I didn’t matter.
” Impulsively, my hands reach up, tugging against the hair at the base of my scalp.
“Nova! Stop!” Saint barks out as his calloused hands grip onto my wrists. He squeezes lightly as he pulls them away from my head. “Just fucking stop!”
I clench my fists, which are still being held hostage in his grasp, as I turn to look at him. His eyes catch onto mine, and the hurt vibrates through my body. “How can you just be with her like nothing happened?” I whisper though it barely comes out legible with how hard the sobs are leaving me.
His hands tighten to a painful grip around my limbs as his stare turns aggressive.
“You left, Nova. You fucking left me. And then you come back, out of nowhere, like a fucking hurricane. You came in and destroyed every bit of the wall I’ve built around myself.
” I start to turn my head away from him, but he quickly lets go of my hands and uses his to turn and hold my face in place instead.
“You are the reason I built those damn walls, Nova. You are the only thing that’s ever been able to hurt me. ”
He lets go of me and drops his voice back down. “So don’t ever tell me you don’t fucking matter again. You can spew your depressive bullshit to anyone else, but not me.”
His words leave me at a loss for my own, so I continue to stare at him, letting his truth blanket over me instead.
While I understand what he’s saying, it doesn’t make the pain any better.
He was still there with her. Touching her.
Laughing with her. Loving her. How can I really mean as much as he says I do, when he can still act like that?
I shake my head as he searches my face for a response. I watch as Saint’s jaw clenches, his pain becoming more evident the longer he stares at me.
“I have to go,” I finally let out. The words feel as though they’re slicing through me when in reality all I want to do is stay in his presence.
With unfortunately perfect timing his phone buzzes.
I watch as he pulls it out, a picture of him kissing Abigail’s cheek filling the screen.
Her name is written brightly at the top, with a yellow heart at the end.
He glances at me one more time, with his own tears beginning to well. “Hey, I’ll be right in,” he mumbles into the phone.
With that, I stand up and I walk. I walk and I walk and I walk. As far away as I can get.