Chapter 1
I ran the tap, holding my hands under the stream of hot water, my thoughts a million miles away.
January had rolled around and Bronte would have been heading off on her trip.
I could visualise her, dashing around at the last second, stuffing phone chargers and toothpaste and one more book into her rucksack.
I’d have been following behind, her shadow, blurting out random things such as reminding her not to eat the ice, or to always tell someone in the hostel where she was going, and asking if she had taken a photo of her passport in case of emergency.
And she’d have been laughing and rolling her eyes and pointing out that we’d had this conversation many times, that she knew what she was doing, and I should stop worrying and trust her.
I’d have driven her to the airport and hugged her for the longest time and tried to focus not on my fears, but on my pride, on the fact that my daughter was heading off to the other side of the world, alone, full of confidence and excitement and that this was exactly what I wanted for her.
A hot tear tracked down my face and I brushed it away as Anna, my boss, emerged from the toilet cubicle.
‘I bloody hate that man,’ she said with a scowl.
The man in question was Kevin Armstrong with whom we were having a business lunch.
He was so awful that this was our second trip to the ladies, both of us needing a breather from his self-obsessed twaddle.
He was the procurement manager for Vap-A-Rise, a chain of e-cigarette stores which had sprung up on the high street like weeds over the past few years.
We were the lucky people tasked with persuading him to sign on the dotted line for a three-year e-commerce management and training package with our company ShopSwift.
‘Hate is a strong word,’ I replied, pulling towels from the dispenser to dry my hands. A whisper of a remembered conversation made my breath catch.
‘I hate PE,’ Bronte grumbled as I handed over her sports bag one school morning.
‘Hate’s a strong word, darling.’ I kissed her forehead, realising that I barely had to stoop to do so anymore. ‘Think of it as not your favourite.’
‘Physics is not my favourite; PE is actual torture.’ She pulled a face. ‘But I’ll try.’
And she would, I thought; my girl gives everything her best shot.
I blinked away the memory and made room for Anna at the sink.
‘Yeah, well, I have very strong feelings towards our future client, Maggie,’ said Anna, darkly.
‘I hear you.’ I dropped the used towels into the rubbish bin and picked up my bag.
‘I mean where does he get off, telling us that he doesn’t like to do business with women because they’re crap at golf?’ Anna continued. ‘Perhaps I should have let Lee join us after all.’
My hackles rose but I didn’t let it show.
Lee Masters was a sales manager like me, and foaming at the mouth that he hadn’t had the chance to seal this deal with Vap-A-Rise.
No doubt Kevin would have preferred all-lads-together Lee, but I’d been the one to make the initial contact with Vap-A-Rise and I didn’t give away my sales leads easily.
My team handled the higher-value clients with multiple locations.
Lee’s team looked after the smaller customers.
He was constantly trying to poach my accounts, but to no avail.
My strength was client management and Anna knew that.
I looked after people, I knew what they needed and delivered it.
Lee promised customers the earth to gain a rapport with them.
Unfortunately, he didn’t always deliver, and Anna knew that too, and yet somehow he always managed to come up smelling of roses.
‘The idea of Kevin possessing even one iota of sporting prowess is ludicrous.’ I ran a hand over my hair, smoothing any flyaways. I wore it poker-straight, but the slightest hint of damp in the air and the unruly kinks returned. ‘I’d like to show him what I can do with a nine iron.’
Anna paused from applying her lipstick. ‘Do you even know what a nine iron is?’
I gave myself a cursory glance in the mirror. I avoided it as much as possible now. There were only so many times you needed to see your eyebags when they looked like hollowed-out avocado skins. ‘No. But I’m pretty sure he’d know about it if I whacked him in the balls with one.’
She sniggered. ‘Let’s take a rain check on that until we get the deal in the bag, shall we?’
The deal in question wasn’t only worth a significant amount of money to ShopSwift, it was important to me too.
It could be my ticket to promotion to sales director and a seat at the boardroom table when Anna’s father Ron retired in a few months’ time.
It would be between Lee and me; I really wanted it to be me.
My phone vibrated with a text from the depths of my bag. It was from George, my junior sales executive.
When will you be back? I’ve written an email and I’d like you to read it before I send it.
Twenty-one-year-old George had been with me for three months and still came to me for things which by rights he shouldn’t need help with.
But it felt good to be needed, so I didn’t pull him up on it.
Besides, what he lacked in experience he made up for in his eagerness to do the right thing.
I typed back an update before answering my boss.
‘Don’t worry, I’ll keep my opinion about Kevin to myself – my eye is firmly on the prize. You know how ambitious I am.’ I looked at Anna, hoping that my meaning was clear.
‘You’re the best salesperson we have. But …’ She paused, resting a hand on my shoulder. ‘I worry about you. You are okay, in yourself, I mean?’
I detested that question; what did it even mean?
‘Absolutely,’ I said, heading for the door. ‘Let’s go and wrap this meeting up, shall we?’
An hour later and we were almost finished.
Anna had been checking her watch for the last twenty minutes, as keen to get out of here as I was.
If it wasn’t for the company we were keeping, lunch would have been enjoyable.
Give him his due, Kevin’s choice of venue, the Lock and Barrel, was a lovely pub with an impressive menu and a fabulous view of the canal.
A row of narrowboats was moored outside and on the opposite bank, a flock of sheep grazed in the field.
Our waiter appeared to clear the table and asked if everything was okay.
‘It was delicious, thank you.’ I smiled as I handed him my empty coffee cup.
‘You know, you’re a lot more attractive when you smile,’ said Kevin, with a leer.
Beside me Anna sucked in a breath.
And you’re a lot more attractive when you keep your mouth shut, I thought. I could almost hear Bronte’s voice in my ear. Go Mum! Don’t let him get away with that.
‘ShopSwift don’t employ me to be attractive,’ I said instead.
‘They employ me because I deliver results. For our company and for our clients too. Which is why I’m confident that we will not only provide you with the best e-commerce package on the market, but we’ll exceed your expectations.
So,’ I leaned forward, fixing him with an intense look. ‘Do we have a deal?’
Kevin gave me a cocky smile, wide enough for me to see that it had been some time since his backside had graced a dentist’s chair.
He picked up his brandy glass and swirled the liquid around a couple of times.
A double measure of a label which had cost even more than the dozen oysters he’d insisted on ordering at our expense.
My dislike of the man was growing exponentially.
‘I’ll sleep on it,’ he said, throwing the rest of his brandy down his throat. ‘Thanks for lunch, ladies. Now I’ll visit the little boys’ room and be on my way. I’ll be in touch in a week or so.’
He pushed his chair back from the table, causing the feet of it to screech across the flagstone floor.
He stumbled against the table next to ours and it suddenly struck me that he might be tipsy.
We’d had a bottle of wine with lunch; Anna and I had barely touched ours as we were both driving.
He’d been sipping a gin and tonic when we arrived, and now the brandy. Anna and I rolled eyes at each other.
‘A week or two?’ I shook my head in despair. ‘This is turning into the longest negotiation in history.’
‘Arsehole,’ she muttered, handing her credit card to our waiter.
‘How do men like that get so far up the career ladder?’ I fumed. ‘How do they get away with saying shit like that?’
‘Because we let them?’ she replied wryly. ‘Although I thought your reply was brilliant, Maggie. You put it much better than I could have done.’
Rubbish. I liked Anna but I knew full well that she wouldn’t have said anything to jeopardise winning this contract.
‘Let’s get out of here,’ I said with a shiver. ‘Two hours in that man’s company and I need a shower.’
Once the bill was settled, we walked out to the car park and bumped into Kevin leaning against the no-smoking sign, a cloud of smoke billowing from his e-cigarette.
‘Are you waiting for a taxi, Kevin?’ Anna asked. ‘Because I’m sure Maggie wouldn’t mind giving you a lift. I’d offer myself but I’ve got another appointment to get to.’
My heart sank. I’d do it, of course, but I’d rather stuff my shoes with stinging nettles than spend one more minute with Kevin Armstrong.
‘No problem, although Uber is probably the quickest,’ I suggested.
My phone buzzed, and I glanced at it, thinking it would be George again. It was my mother.
Hello Magnolia, I hope you’re well, darling? Long time, no see. Are you free at the weekend? Perhaps you could pop over?
I felt my jaw tighten, not fooled by her one bit. She wasn’t interested in whether I was well or not. She only got in touch when she wanted something. Usually money.
‘Taxi?’ Kevin scoffed, shaking a bunch of car keys. ‘Why would I need a ride when I’ve got my own car?’
My reaction was so severe, so instant that I felt every hair on my arms stand on end.
‘You’re not driving?’ I stammered. ‘You’ve been drinking.’
‘Maggie’s got a point, Kevin,’ Anna agreed. ‘You might be over the limit.’
He gave a dismissive laugh and patted his stomach. ‘This body was built to take alcohol. If anything, it sharpens my reflexes.’
The smugness of him. Bile rose in my throat.
Kevin was struggling to stand without swaying.
It was people like him who … I shook the image from my head, the one of Bronte in the mortuary, the one which tortured me night after night as I lay awake in the silent hours before dawn.
She and Harry had been walking home after seeing a film, two kids minding their own business, when a drunk driver lost control and the car mounted the pavement.
‘Is that right?’ I stepped forward and swiped the keys from him. Any pretence of liking the man had evaporated. ‘Oh dear, look what I’ve got. Reflexes not so sharp, after all.’
‘Give those back,’ Kevin demanded, one hand outstretched, the other clasping his e-cigarette.
I gripped the keys to my chest. ‘Only if you promise not to drive.’
‘What the hell is this?’ His eyes slid from mine to Anna’s. ‘Give me my keys, now.’
‘Maggie,’ Anna warned. ‘Don’t do anything you might regret.’
I pinned her with my stare. ‘Oh believe me, I won’t.’
Kevin lunged at me, but I jumped sideways out of his path and without me to break his fall, he staggered forward and crash-landed on his knees.
‘Shit. Ouch!’ He sat back on his heels and looked at his hands. Beads of blood appeared from under the grit. ‘Help me up, for God’s sake.’
‘I’m so sorry.’ Anna leapt forward to assist, taking his elbow. ‘Maggie didn’t mean that to happen, it was an accident.’
He continued to protest and swear as she found a tissue in her handbag and brushed his hand.
Blood thrummed in my ears as I watched them through a haze. His attitude to drink-driving had triggered the rage I worked so hard day after day to suppress. I’d been unable to save my child from people like him, but I’d do anything to prevent someone else from going through this living hell.
I looked down at the car keys in my hand, then across the car park to the canal on the other side of the fence.
Fatigue, anger, adrenaline swirled like a cyclone inside me and before I had a chance to weigh up the consequences, I threw the keys as high and hard as I could. They sailed over the fence and landed with a faint splash in the water.
‘Oh Christ.’ Anna pressed a hand to her mouth, eyes wide with horror.
Kevin loomed over me, his fist clenched. ‘You mad bitch.’
‘Mad? Mad?’ I spat at him. ‘Damn right I am, I’m bloody furious. It’s people like you—’
Anna gripped my shoulder. ‘Go home, Maggie, I’ll deal with this.’
‘She’s going nowhere,’ Kevin blustered. ‘I’m calling the police.’
Anna nudged me in the direction of my car. ‘Please, it’s for your own good. I’ll sort this out.’
I ignored my boss, not taking my eyes off Kevin for one second.
‘Be my guest.’ My body was taut with tension. ‘I dare you. One whiff of your breath and they’ll be very keen to know about your intention to drive.’
‘And this.’ Kevin jabbed a finger at me, spittle gathering in the corners of his mouth. ‘Is why I hate doing business with women.’
‘Why, because we can outsmart you?’ I needled.
It was unprofessional of me, but I didn’t care. I felt untethered, wild and ready for a fight.
‘Go now, Maggie,’ Anna ordered, her voice dangerously low. ‘I’ll see you in my office tomorrow. Nine a.m.’
The look on Anna’s face: pity, disappointment, revulsion sent a wave of nausea from my stomach to my throat.
‘I’m going.’ I turned, my legs shaky with nerves as I walked to my car. I climbed in, lowered my head to the steering wheel and waited for the beat of my heart to slow before setting off.
Oh Magnolia Jones, what have you done?