Chapter 6 #2
‘Are we nearly there, Mummy?’ Bronte’s face was pressed up against the window of the train. Her first trip to London. Her exuberance as she told the lady opposite exactly what the day held in store had given the other passengers around us so much joy that I’d been filled with pride.
Diane squeezed my hand hard, and I snapped back into the present.
‘We are, Diane, yes.’
‘Maggie?’ Tiff poked her face around the seat. ‘Sit down. You’re going to miss it.’
I stood up slowly, bringing Diane with me, and guided her into the seat beside her husband. Then I swung myself into the seat beside Tiff, keeping one hand on her arm.
‘I’ve got you, Diane,’ I said, ‘I’m right behind you.’
‘And here we are,’ said the stewardess, proudly, gesturing towards the window. ‘That is Mount Everest.’
‘Yes, sir.’ Tiff nodded gently, a smile of bliss on her face. ‘That’s what I’m talking about.’
‘Absolutely breathtaking.’ I gazed out of the window in awe.
I was looking at the roof of the world, the highest point on our planet.
It felt like such an important moment, such an achievement, a privilege, one I’d only got to experience because of Bronte.
Everest stood regally above its neighbours, crowned with snow that sparkled in the sunlight as if it were coated with diamonds.
Bronte’s birthstone: an April baby. My heart twisted; I would have given anything for her to be on this plane instead of me.
Anything. But this was the best I could manage.
‘This is where you belong, darling,’ I murmured. ‘On top of the world.’
‘Champagne?’ Our stewardess appeared with a tiny trolley.
‘Yes please,’ replied Tiff and I together.
It was the quickest hour of my life and before I knew it, we were almost back at Kathmandu. Diane and Steve returned to their own seats for the second half of the flight and so did I.
As we prepared to descend through the clouds, Tiff plonked herself in the seat beside me.
‘That was impressive, what you did back there with Diane. You almost missed seeing Everest yourself. That would have been quite a sacrifice for a stranger.’
‘It was nothing. I was worried she’d have a full-blown episode and we might all miss it. And her husband wasn’t helping.’
‘He should never have brought her on this flight. Selfish people like that who are unaware that they’re spoiling it for others make my blood boil.’
‘I know. You made that perfectly clear last night, when I was planning to trek to Base Camp,’ I reminded her.
‘Yeah, well, I take that all back now.’ She smiled sheepishly. ‘You’re a cool dude, Magnolia.’
I grimaced. ‘Only my mother calls me that. I’m Maggie. Please.’
‘Sure,’ Tiff said, holding up her hands. ‘Sorry. Are you really medically trained?’
I looked across at Diane, who’d calmed down and appeared not to be speaking to Steve. ‘No, I work in sales for e-commerce systems. But I have got my first-aider certificate.’
She laughed. ‘It worked anyways; you talked her round. What a trip. Glad you came?’
‘Absolutely. It’s a big tick on Bronte’s list, and now I can move on to the next.’
‘More importantly, you loved it. I saw it in your eyes,’ she said with a grin.
That wasn’t the most important thing: fulfilling Bronte’s dreams was my one and only goal. But I let it go. She wouldn’t understand and it wasn’t worth arguing about.
The plane landed soon afterwards. Once we were decanted onto the tarmac and into the terminal, the group began to disperse.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Diane blowing her nose and Steve shaking his head impatiently.
The two men were nothing alike physically, but I suddenly thought of Kevin Armstrong and his odious attitude.
I ran after him and tapped him on the shoulder.
‘You’re the woman who helped Diane.’ He puffed his chest out. ‘Sorry about her.’
‘My friend thinks you’re an asshole, Steve,’ I said, smiling an apology at Diane.
Behind me I heard Tiff choke.
‘I disagree,’ I continued before he had chance to interrupt, ‘because at least assholes are useful. You knew your wife wouldn’t like that flight, but you booked it anyway. And then when she had a panic attack, you abandoned her.’
‘How dare you.’ Steve turned puce with anger, and his mouth flapped open and shut like a guppy.
‘If I hadn’t intervened, she could have been a danger to herself and others. We might even have had to cut the flight short.’
‘And I would not have been happy,’ Tiff piped up.
Steve dismissed us with a wave of his hand. ‘Women, overreacting as usual. You should learn how to keep calm under pressure.’
‘Steve, dear, I think I’ve lost your passport.’ Diane tugged at his arm.
His hands flew to his head and he gawped at her. ‘What? What? Are you kidding me? Jesus Christ, Diane!’
She winked at us. ‘Only kidding.’
He rolled his eyes. ‘Very funny. Not.’
‘So do you know what you’re going to do now, Steve?’ I said briskly.
‘Back to the hotel for a nap,’ he said. ‘Not that it’s your business.’
‘No. You’re going to ask Diane what she’d like to do next. And then you’re going to do it. Right, Diane?’
She nodded. ‘Right.’
‘Oh my God,’ said Tiff as we walked away. ‘You called me your friend.’
I giggled and she giggled and by the time we found the driver from our guest house and climbed aboard the rusty minibus, we had tears rolling down our cheeks.
‘Back to Boston for me tonight,’ said Tiff, rolling her head from side to side to stretch her neck. ‘What about you?’
‘Lots more to see. I’ll show you my list.’ I took Bronte’s Gap Year out of my rucksack and turned the pages until I came to the bookmark I’d stuck between the pages to ensure I didn’t flick too far ahead.
I let Tiff read it for herself.
She cocked an eyebrow. ‘You’re happy to do the elephant stuff?’
‘I’ve been on an elephant before, I’ll have you know.’
Early morning before the sun rose too high. My arms round Jackson’s waist, kissing his back, the elephant’s thick dry skin against my legs … a day of pure exhilaration, memories as vivid as the day we made them.
Tiff gave me an appraising look before picking up my bookmark. ‘Cute.’
‘Bronte made it for me.’ It had a photograph of her sitting on my knee while I read to her. The other side contained a quote from Betty Smith.
‘ The world was hers for the reading ,’ Tiff recited.
‘Teaching her to read was one of my greatest pleasures.’ I smiled at the old photo.
‘I’ll never forget the first time she read a whole book to me, the wonder on her face as her brain made sense of the story.
We read together every night after that, taking turns until she was twelve.
When she hit her teens, she’d only let me read to her if she was ill.
I think she still loved it secretly but was too proud to admit it.
When she grew up, we’d read by the pool on holiday and swap books.
’ I was going to miss those trips. ‘Those were my favourite sort of holidays.’
Tiff started scrolling through her phone, checking emails, and it made me think about ShopSwift. I wondered whether Anna was letting Lee take over the Vap-A-Rise contract. But I brushed the thoughts away. No one is indispensable, Maggie, not even you, Anna had said.
Tiff looked up from her phone. ‘I can’t help thinking that somewhere more upmarket than the Ganesh would suit you, where you can join an organised tour for the rest of your time in Nepal.’
‘Possibly. But that’s not what Bronte planned to do.’
She narrowed her eyes. ‘What are you doing here, Maggie? I mean really?’
‘Keeping my promise to Bronte,’ I said simply.
‘You’ve come all this way and you’re only going to focus on what your daughter wanted?’ She sounded incredulous. ‘What’s in it for you, what are you getting out of the trip?’
‘That is what’s in it for me. I’m going to do as many things on Bronte’s list as I can in the time I have available and then I’m going to go back to the UK and get on with my life.’
She studied me. ‘Maybe it could be more than that.’
I glared at her. ‘Don’t try to tell me that something positive can come out of losing my only child. Because I don’t want to hear it. If you dare give me any of that trust the universe crap, you and I are going to fall out.’
‘I wasn’t going to say that.’
‘Good.’
She called out to the front of the minibus. ‘Lila, is there a place around here we can buy art materials?’
‘There is, mam, we go now?’
‘Yes please.’
‘That’s really kind of you,’ I said, surprised.
‘After that we can tick off some of the other things, if …’ She drew a breath, her eyes sparkling, ‘you consider doing something for me.’
‘Okay.’ I was intrigued. ‘Fire away.’
‘I co-run a volunteer project in the Chitwan valley; it’s called One World.
We could use someone like you. Someone – no offence – mature, to help with kindergarten.
Those kids would love some new art stuff, by the way.
You’d get your own room and you’d be able to complete the rest of your Nepal list while you’re there. I think you’d get a lot out of it.’
‘So are you asking me to become a volunteer?’ My brain wound back twenty-four years to the beach in Bali. I’d loved living and working alongside the locals; I’d had to prove myself worthy of their respect. What was that guy’s name? The one who’d resented all the volunteers …?
‘That’s right. What do you say?’
‘Am I not too old? Won’t the others be eighteen-year-olds on a gap year?’
‘So what?’ She shrugged. ‘They’ll love you. And I bet you’d enjoy their company too.’
‘You might be right.’ I nodded slowly, remembering how much fun it had been when Bronte had brought her friends round for drinks before heading out for the evening.
‘Cool. Say the word and I could organise transport today.’ Tiff raised her eyebrows in anticipation.
‘So soon?’ I had no idea where the Chitwan valley was. My plan had been to go back to the guest house and work out what I was going to do with the next two weeks, when Bronte would have been trekking.
‘Did they tell you that the Ganesh is fully booked again, so you’ll be sharing with someone new tonight?’ said Tiff. ‘In case that helps you make a decision.’
I laughed at her tactics. ‘Will I be in the Chitwan valley by dinnertime?’
She grinned. ‘You sure will. But maybe lay off the dal bhat tonight. For everyone’s sake.’