Chapter 18
It was two in the morning, Jackson and I were on duty in the turtle hatchery; Utt was outside patching up a hole in the side with wood. A dog had found its way inside the hut earlier and only Jackson’s swift intervention had saved the eggs from getting eaten.
Sixteen baby turtles had hatched in the last half an hour; they were scuttling around the enclosure adorably, so tiny and perfect that it was hard not to keep picking them up for a closer look.
Much to Utt’s bemusement we’d given them all names.
There was one more egg showing signs of hatching and once it did, we’d be releasing them together.
‘Here he comes,’ said Jackson, peering down at the egg as a fin appeared through a crack in the shell.
‘I think it’s a she,’ I said, leaning close to him. ‘What shall we call her?’
‘Okay, how about Tina?’
‘Tina Turtle.’ I snorted. ‘Perfect.’
‘She’s simply the best,’ sang Jackson in a falsetto voice, ‘the last one out of the nest.’
‘No singing,’ Utt shouted.
‘Why?’ I called, ‘is it bad for the turtles?’
‘No. It is bad for me,’ he shot back, hooting with laughter.
‘I used to sing in church when I was a kid,’ Jackson replied, pretending to be insulted. ‘All the church ladies loved my voice.’
‘I love your voice too.’ My heart gave a little squeeze, imagining how cute he must have looked dressed in his smart clothes, his curls neatly brushed, his little voice wavering on the high notes. I scarcely recognised myself these days. When had I become such a soppy romantic?
Jackson’s lips brushed mine and his hands went to my waist. I could feel the heat from his skin and a pulse in my throat began to throb.
I couldn’t get enough of him. In the rare moments we weren’t together, he was all I thought about.
I was infatuated with him, and he with me.
Our days were full of fun and sunshine and laughing and kissing.
It couldn’t be love; we hadn’t known each other very long.
But whatever it was, I was having the best time ever.
‘We can’t, not here,’ I breathed, melting into him as he pulled me closer. ‘Utt can hear us.’
There was a thud from outside as if Utt had dropped something, followed by a muttered curse, and we stepped back from each other reluctantly.
‘Let’s go release these babies,’ Jackson said softly.
I picked up Tina gently and put her in the bucket along with the rest, then we made our way out to the beach. Utt left his tools and came with us. He’d never admit it, but I reckoned he liked Jackson and me.
The air was still, the waves barely making a sound, and a full moon hung in the sky above the ocean tingeing the night with an eerie silvery light.
‘Perfect turtle-releasing conditions,’ said Jackson. ‘We won’t even need a torch.’
‘Not too close to the water,’ Utt instructed us. ‘Here is good.’
‘Why?’ I set the bucket down on the sand. ‘If we go nearer, the babies haven’t got so far to go.’
‘The journey to the water is important for them,’ he explained, squatting down beside the bucket. ‘This is when they learn about where they are from. They will always find their way back here to nest and lay their eggs.’
‘Lucky them,’ I said, thinking there were a lot worse places to return to.
‘Imprinting.’ Jackson nodded. ‘A few seconds in this place and it’s enough for them to make memories for life. Amazing.’
‘I think I’ve probably done that too,’ I said, catching his eye.
He grinned at me. ‘Same here.’
Utt transferred the hatchlings from the bucket onto the sand, taking care to orient them the right way so they were facing the shoreline. Jackson and I kept watch to make sure there were no dogs about to leap onto our brave little creatures.
‘I feel like a proud father every time,’ said Utt, brushing the sand off his hands. ‘We take care of the eggs, keep them safe, and then the time comes to set them free. But we will always remember this day when we let them go.’
‘Like my mom and dad, when I left the States,’ Jackson said. ‘My dad trying to tuck dollar bills into my pocket and my mom crying because she thought she’d wanted me to go and have my adventure until the moment I was actually doing it.’
My mum hadn’t said anything like that, only wanting to know where I’d got the money to pay for my air fare and asking whether, if I was that well-off, I could lend her some to get her hair done.
I’d given Kat money from my savings to tide her over while I was away.
She hadn’t been able to have a job because she’d been revising for her A-levels. She’d almost cried with gratitude.
The baby turtles crawled towards the water, their tiny fins flailing as they mastered the art of movement. It was an incredible sight to witness.
‘Look at that,’ I marvelled, ‘so instinctive, the way they run to the sea, to freedom.’
We moved down the beach with them, like parents whose kids had just learned to walk, wanting to give them independence, but remaining close enough to intervene if necessary.
‘Who can blame them,’ Jackson said. ‘Isn’t that what we all want – freedom?’
I thought about that for a moment and decided that it wasn’t what I wanted long term.
I was enjoying my freedom this summer but eventually I wanted security, especially financially.
I wanted to know what was coming, I wanted to have a plan and stick to it.
Freedom represented the unknown to me and I didn’t feel equipped to cope with that.
‘Have you ever wanted to travel, Utt?’ I asked.
‘Oh no,’ he said, shaking his head as if it was the last thing he’d ever wish to do. ‘People travel to search for something they do not have. I have everything I want. My family, this beautiful country. My roots are here, my soul is at peace here.’
The passion in his voice brought a lump to my throat.
‘That’s lovely,’ I said. ‘My soul is at peace too.’
I thought of what lay ahead for me back in the UK and I felt my spirits sink.
My final year at uni, the paper I would have to write, my tiny room in the shared house.
I liked university, but I was ready for it to be over, for my life to start.
But leaving here, saying goodbye to Jackson, was going to be the hardest thing I’d ever done.
‘Ooooh,’ Jackson teased. ‘She’s finally weakening, Utt, I think we’re winning her round.’
I laughed. ‘Bali has my heart, that’s for sure.’
‘You watch them until they reach water.’ Utt got to his feet and picked up the bucket. ‘I go back now. See you tomorrow.’
‘Goodnight, Utt,’ we said in unison.
‘We’ll make sure they stay safe,’ I added.
He turned back and raised a hand in a wave.
‘She is a good woman,’ he said to Jackson. ‘Good heart, good head.’
‘I know,’ said Jackson, earnestly holding my gaze, and I was glad that the moonlight hid my blushes.
‘So it’s only Bali that has your heart?’ he murmured once Utt was out of earshot.
‘Well,’ I said, closing the gap between us and taking hold of his hands. ‘Bali will always be associated with the happiest summer of my life, and you may have had something to do with that, so …’
‘Come with me,’ he blurted out, sliding his fingers along my shoulder to the back of my neck. ‘Let’s keep travelling. I want to go to Thailand next, I’ve heard it’s even more beautiful than here.’
‘I can’t,’ I said, trembling as he stroked a hand down my back. ‘I’ve got to get home.’
He groaned. ‘When do your classes start?’
‘October.’
‘There you go!’ He grinned. ‘That’s months away.’
‘I know. But my job! I have to earn money.’ I rested my cheek on his chest, inhaling the scent of him, feeling his lungs rise and fall.
‘Mags, you have your whole life to earn money. Put your sensible life on hold, stay free for a bit longer. Be like those little turtles and choose freedom. We’ll go by train, stay in a hostel. It’ll be so cheap. Come on, what do you say?’
I gave him a small smile. ‘You make it sound so easy.’
He picked me up and swung me around. ‘It is easy! Say yes.’
Another month of loving this boy, of having an adventure I’d never forget, of setting aside the responsibilities of home …
‘Yes,’ I said with a bubble of laughter. ‘I say yes.’