Chapter 1 Beau
beau
The Denver sky was gloomy as I walked to the trendy coffee shop to meet my best friend and fellow camming co-worker, Valencia. It was our monthly meet-up. We started calling it our therapy. Between our busy lives, her two boyfriends and our jobs, we needed to just sit back, gossip and eat carbs.
The smell of pastries and coffee made my mouth water as I opened the door.
A prickle of awareness made me feel immediately like I was being watched.
It wasn’t often that people recognized me on the streets, but sometimes they just stared like they were trying to pinpoint where they had seen me before.
Except lately, someone had followed too closely.
I shook off the bad feeling I had as I entered the building, looking around for my curly-haired goddess of a friend. She hadn’t arrived yet, so I stood in line getting our order of coffee croissants, macarons and whatever delicious pie they had on special today.
“Hey, gorgeous.” The cashier grinned at me.
“Hey, how are you?” I asked, skimming over the menu, trying not to give the guy too much attention because I couldn’t remember his name and I was exhausted by his advances even though I had told him no repeatedly.
“Oh, you know the usual, but way happier now that you’re here,” he said, leaning forward as if he had cleavage, desperate to show it off.
“Thanks,” I said smiling, trying to be aloof. “Let me have one hot matcha latte with oat milk, and one cinnamon dolce latte for here. Then one chocolate croissant, one pistachio croissant, six macarons of any flavor and one slice of the pie of the day.”
“That’s a lot of coffee and food for you,” he grinned.
“Oh, my girl is meeting me here,” I said, hating that I had to use Valencia, but this guy didn’t take no for an answer.
I was also pretty sure he was a subscriber, which didn’t sit well with me.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry I’m late.” Valencia walked up to me.
I hugged her, giving her a kiss on the cheek that was maybe a little too close to the mouth.
“It’s fine, you got here just in time,” I said, giving my card to the guy.
He took my card a little more forcefully than necessary, but hopefully he got the hint after today. After paying, I led Valencia to a table far away, holding onto her hand, pulling out her chair as she gave me a knowing look.
“Is he still making advances?” she asked, hanging her purse behind her chair.
“Unfortunately.” I rolled my eyes, taking my jacket off.
“It’s cause you’re so damn adorable.” She grinned. “It’s that boy next door look, but I’m pretty sure he knows you’re a freak.”
“Shut up,” I said, wishing I had something to throw at her. “I think that’s what has weirded me out the most, is that he is a subscriber.”
“See, this is why I wear a mask,” she said. “Ruby Dix doesn’t need men leering at her in public and honestly, I’m just too afraid of someone getting too close. Parasocial relationships are the worst.”
I shivered. Someone had been getting too close, but I hadn’t said anything to her, or anyone yet. They were harmless or at least that’s what I kept telling myself.
“Here’s your matcha and latte.” A young girl placed our cups on the tables.
She glanced at us, blushing, before walking away. Valencia chuckled, “I swear you could make anyone swoon.”
“Apparently not everyone,” I said, raising my brow.
“Oh, whatever.” She rolled her eyes.
Little did Valencia know when I first met her, I thought she was devastatingly gorgeous and when we did our first scene together, I was two seconds away from becoming a two-pump chump the moment I slid into her.
She wasn’t the first collab I had done, but she was definitely the first that I had wanted to pursue anything with.
My dreams were slowly squashed when she told me about two hockey players she was seeing and not only just seeing, but was in a BDSM contract with.
To say it shocked me was an understatement, but after they got their shit together, they were happy and I had to quietly swallow my feelings.
I mean, if they invited me into their bed, I wouldn’t say no. Romeo and Hunter were fucking gorgeous.
Valencia and I spent the next hour catching up on whatever was going on with us until she dropped a bomb on me.
“So, I've been thinking about quitting camming,” she said, looking down at her cup avoiding my eyes.
My first instinct was to shout “what?”, but that wasn’t what she needed.
“Why now?” I reached over to grab her hand.
She shrugged. “I’m getting older and my job is doing well. I really don’t need the cash anymore. I have two men at home who love and respect me.”
“Are they pressuring you to stop?”
“Oh god, no,” she said quickly. “I think if they did, I would keep doing it out of spite but no, they encourage it, they like to watch when they are in town and out of town as well, lol.”
“So, you just think it's time to quit,” I said, hating that she was walking away from camming.
“I don’t know,” she sighed. “I like it, but sometimes I’m over it. I will miss the money though.”
“Not the taxes, though,” I chuckled.
“Yeah, that’s something I won’t miss,” she said, squeezing my hand. “If I leave, I feel like I would have to do some big hoorah, maybe a cam marathon.”
“Oh god, that sounds exhausting,” I said. “But might as well make that last bit of money before you leave.”
I frowned, wondering if it was time for me to do the same.
I had been doing it for longer than Valencia had, but this was my way of life.
My entire income surrounded my cam life and the collabs I did.
I had even won an award, but I was getting older, and did I want to be doing this for the rest of my life?
“Oh, don’t make that face. Just because I’m leaving doesn’t mean you have to as well,” she said. “You’ve built this empire, and you’ve done so well for yourself.”
“I know that,” I said, smiling. “I’m gonna miss you. All of our planning and brainstorming and you know, the sex.”
“Oh, shut up. We haven’t had sex in over a year,” she said, slapping my hand.
“Hey, I’ll still miss it,” I chuckled, leaning back to take a sip of my coffee.
“You’re incorrigible,” she said, finishing the last macaron.
“I can’t help it,” I shrugged.
“Are you doing, ok?” she asked, and I had hoped she wouldn’t ask this time.
“I’m great.” I gave her my best smile.
“Don’t bullshit me. You've been off since before New Year’s.” She leaned forward. “What’s going on, babe? I know I’ve said this before, but you know you can tell me anything.”
I wanted to tell her everything. I needed to tell someone something because the longer I kept this secret, the heavier it felt, but I didn’t want her to worry.
“I’m fine, just been feeling a little stuck lately, but I think that’s just cause I’m getting closer to thirty,” I said, trying to give her a believable answer.
She studied me before she smiled. “Hunter says his thirties are the best.”
“He says that because he is in his thirties,” I chuckled. “I’m sure having you and Romeo helps.”
“Maybe it’s time you started dating again?” she suggested.
“Nope, I’m good for now,” I said, shaking my head, remembering my last relationship and the constant drama I had with them and the ones before that…
“Fine, well, as much as I’d love to stay a little longer to convince you to date, I have to head to the stadium and finish a few things before we head out to Tampa this afternoon.” Valencia stood up, putting her jacket on.
“Boo, you whore,” I said, doing the same.
“I know, working sucks,” she said, rolling her eyes. “But at least I get to travel with my men.”
“You could be a kept woman,” I grinned.
“I would go crazy, staying home all day.” She wrapped her scarf around her neck. “I need shit to do, plus I love my social media job.”
“I know, you’re damn good at it too,” I said, grabbing our cups and plates to bring to the counter where the cashier gave me a dirty look, but I smiled.
“Alright mamacita, see you in a few weeks,” I said, pulling her towards me as we walked out.
“Yeah, maybe we can do it sooner,” she said, hugging me tightly.
“Yeah, just let me know,” I said, squeezing her back. “Have a safe trip! Enjoy the warmth in Tampa.”
“Oh, I will.” She kissed my cheek before walking away from me.
It had started to snow as I walked back to my apartment, and I enjoyed the whimsical feeling as I started planning out my day.
The doorman, Jack, gave me a smile as he opened the door and let me into the warm building when I got another prickle of awareness.
I turned around quickly since I had never experienced it so close to home before, and a sinking feeling made me feel even more exposed.
“Beau, are you ok?”
Jack startled me. “Uh, yeah. I thought I had forgotten my phone at the restaurant.”
“Hate when that happens,” he said, as I walked quickly into the building.
The ride up to my condo was a blur. I took every safety precaution when I streamed to make sure no one could trace my IP address. Was I just becoming paranoid or was this fan getting too close for comfort?
I walked down the hallway when I noticed a box at my door.
It was unusual for packages to be left at my doorstep, but I picked it up on my way in.
The package didn’t have a label on it or a return address.
I grabbed a pair of scissors, and opened the package to find a plush kitten.
It was black with a collar that said Beau on it.
It gave me a bad feeling. I lifted the toy out of the box and out fell a note.
From your biggest fan.
I dropped the note, stepping away from the package. My heart rate accelerated, blood whooshed in my ears as I felt like I might throw up. This was getting out of hand. I needed to get out; I needed to leave before something terrible happened.