Chapter 27 Iris
iris
The cabin of the truck was quiet as we drove away from my family’s farm. I felt like we had been here for days instead of just one day. So much had happened and I still wasn’t sure what the hell had just occurred. I should be upset, but now all I wanted was to go home.
I glanced at Beau who was typing furiously on his phone. His brows were furrowed as he bit his lip. Guilt hit me for how I had spoken to him, he didn’t deserve my anger, but the betrayal that they could keep something from me hurt.
“Are we staying in Amarillo?” Beau broke the silence.
“Yeah, it—”
“Thanks,” he said immediately. “I need to fly home.”
“Now?” I said in shock.
“It’s an emergency,” he clipped.
“Ok,” I said slowly. “Are you booking a flight?”
“How long is it from here?” he asked, still typing away on his phone.
“Uh, at least an hour,” I said, confused. “Is everything ok?”
“Yeah, I just need to get home,” he mumbled, typing away.
“I can go with you,” I said feeling panicky.
“No, just drop me off,” he said dismissively.
I clenched my jaw, ready to fight with him but thought better of it.
“I don’t want to just drop you off. Even if I just fly with you, I can see—”
“No, Nash is coming to meet you,” he interrupted me.
“He’s probably talking to Brooks right now—”
Beau’s phone rang and he answered it immediately.
“Estoy buscando vuelos,” he said softly.
I looked over, wondering why the hell I didn’t know he spoke Spanish.
“No, cuando encuentro uno, te llamaré.”
Since I hadn’t bothered to turn on the radio, I could hear the other person talking and it sounded like a woman. Jealousy burned through me as I tried to remember when he had ever mentioned someone else or if I had missed the signs.
“No te preocupes,,” he said. “Ok, bye.”
I kept my eyes on the road, too upset to keep talking or even look at him. The drive to the airport was silent, with neither of us looking or speaking to each other. The Amarillo airport was not busy when we arrived, not that I had expected it to be since it wasn’t a big airport.
“My flight is with United,” he said.
I nodded as I pulled into the lanes that lead me to departures.
My mind scrambled for something to say as I parked to let him out.
Anything I thought to say was too angry, too pathetic and gave away my feelings.
We stayed in the cabin for a few seconds in silence, which felt uncomfortable.
It broke my heart because our silence had always felt good and safe.
“I…I—”
“I hope you have a safe flight,” I said, before he could say something that could hurt me.
He turned towards me as I kept my eyes forward, but I wasn’t strong enough; I glanced at him, seeing indecision on his face.
“I just want to help,” I said softly. “You’re not telling me anything so I’m freaking out. You always tell me I can lean on you, but when I try and do the same for you, you always pull away.”
“Iris—”
My phone rang interrupting him. Nash’s name popped up on my screen.
Beau took a deep breath, “Better answer your husband.”
He opened the door; his words were like a splash of cold water. I got out of the truck, pissed off at his words and more pissed off that he thought he could walk away like this.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I snapped, standing behind him as he grabbed his bag from the back seat.
“Exactly what I meant,” he said, closing the door. “Your husband is calling, so answer him.”
“So now, he’s my husband?”
“He’s always been your husband, Iris.” He sighed. “It’s always been the husband, wife, and Beau. I’m just the fun side piece, and nothing else, Iris.”
“Where is this coming from?” His words cut into me.
“Is it not true?” he shrugged.
“Have we ever made you feel that way?” My lip trembled. “Have we ever made you feel like you were disposable, or that you were just a plaything? Fuck, Beau. Nash and I aren’t even together like that. We only came together when you…when you—”
My voice broke as I realized maybe I had this entire situation wrong. Everything was temporary. Is that what he was saying?
“Look, I need to go to Denver and take care of something,” he said, running his hand through his hair.
I nodded, walking away from him, feeling defeated.
The day had caught up to me and I was done.
Every insecurity hit me all at once and I wondered about everything that concerned Nash and Beau.
I was so stupid to get involved with them because this was only going to end one way, with me getting hurt.
“Iris!” he yelled.
“I’ll see you later, Beau,” I said, getting into the car.
“Iris,” he yelled as I closed the door, but he caught it before it slammed shut. “Iris—Sweets.”
“We can talk when you get a chance,” I said, swallowing my anger and sadness for a minute. “You’re going to miss your flight.”
I smiled hoping it was convincing enough, but it wasn’t when he took a deep agitated breath.
“Text me when you land,” I said, needing to leave immediately.
“No,” he said, closing the door and walking around the front of the car.
He opened the door, throwing his bag on the floor and getting in.
“Go to long-term parking,” he said. “We’ll drop off your truck and you’re coming with me.”
“Beau, we don’t—”
“Look, I have no idea what I’m doing,” he sighed. “I’m scared and my first instinct is to push you away because then that means I won’t get hurt, but this argument seems stupid because both of us are hurting. I don’t want to hurt you, Iris.”
My lips trembled as I looked over at him.
“Beau, you don’t—”
He leaned over the middle, cupping my face softly. The uncertainty in his eyes made me sad, worried and scared at what he might be going through.
“I want you to come with me, please,” he said. “I’m fucking scared and I don’t know what to do. I’m overwhelmed, bad thoughts are racing through my mind and—”
“Hey… Hey,” I said, cupping his cheek leaning forward, pushing our foreheads together. “Let’s take one step at a time. Get my wallet out of my purse, pay for my ticket and I’ll park my car.”
He exhaled slowly. “Ok.”
A horn honked making both of us flinch, reflexively I wanted to shout out and tell them to fuck off, but we had been here for too long. Beau kissed my nose before we broke apart and I took off for long-term parking.
The next hour was a blur as we raced to park, get checked in, go through security and figure out where to go.
By the time we made it to the gate they were calling passengers.
Beau and I went through first bypassing so many people, my cheeks heated in embarrassment.
I felt very rugged here in my scuffed-up boots, jeans that had seen better days and my oversized striped shirt was also looking thin.
When I noticed we were in first-class, the lingering looks made me feel even more out of place.
“The flight was full, and I paid for it,” Beau said, putting my bag up in the overhead bin, reading my mind.
“I’ve never flown first-class before,” I said, as he ushered me into the window seat. “I just feel even more underdressed and uh… really rugged.”
“Rugged?” he scowled.
“I just look like I don’t belong—”
“You work harder than most of these people. You deserve to be here just as much as they do,” he said, threading our fingers together as he looked around like he was ready to start a fight with anyone who dared look at me wrong.
“Ok,” I said, not fighting the smile he had lured from me.
Beau laid his hand on my lap as he looked at his phone. He returned to his worried state, biting his lip, typing away on one hand as the passengers boarded the flight. My stomach growled loudly and I realized we hadn’t eaten since early this morning.
“It’s a short flight but we can get a snack,” Beau said, looking concerned. “We should have gotten something before boarding.”
“I’m ok,” I said, getting comfortable. “We can get something when we land.”
Beau looked me over before nodding, going back to his phone. “Whatever you’re craving, we can get it.”
“Ok,” I said, squeezing his hand and leaning back to look out the window.
My phone buzzed in my pocket again and I realized I had never answered Nash. I pulled my phone out of my pocket to see two missed calls and a bunch of text messages.
Nash: I just had an awkward but good conversation with Brooks. I think we might be ok.
Nash: We talked for a bit, but I’m finally on my way.
Nash: Did you guys get a hotel?
Nash: Are you guys ok?
Iris: Beau has to go to Denver. Something happened and after we fought, he brought me with him. Something isn’t right and I kind of feel dumb for coming with him, but it didn’t feel right letting him leave by himself. I’ll text you when we land.
I felt kind of shitty for leaving without seeing him, but what the hell else was I supposed to do? Nash and Beau felt equally important to me.
Nash: What happened in Denver?
Me: I don’t know. He just said he was scared, but didn’t give me anything else.
Nash: Let me know when you get to Denver and keep me posted.
Me: Ok, Talk soon.
The flight was just over an hour, with a glass of wine and a small snack I was feeling very relaxed by the time we landed.
First-class meant we got off the plane first and by the time we made it outside of the airport, we had a car waiting for us.
It wasn’t my first time in Denver or a big city, but it always caught me off guard how noisy and busy the city was.
“Mr. Silva,” our driver said, opening the back door for us. “Hello, ma’am.”
“Hey, Mark. This is Iris. How’s it going?” Beau shook his hand and I said hello.
“Great, the Mrs. is almost due,” the driver said, taking my bag as Beau helped me into the car.
“That’s great. I promise not to keep you too long,” Beau said.
I slid into the big SUV hearing them chat, feeling like I didn’t even know who Beau was. He had this entire life here in Denver and in Sterling Ridge, I felt I only knew what he wanted me to know. Beau slid into the backseat with me, grabbing my hand and threading his fingers through mine.
“I know we said we could pick up food, but can we pick up something first? I just need to get something. You can wait in the car,” he said, distracted by his phone.
“Ok,” I said warily, taking out my own phone.
We drove for forty minutes through hellish traffic, reminding me why I preferred living in small towns.
The constant stop and go was agitating, even more so since I was hungry.
I didn’t know how people did this on a daily basis.
We pulled up to a high-rise in downtown Denver that looked to be close to where Luke lived.
I almost told Beau maybe I should go with my brother while he took care of what he needed, but his soft, vulnerable voice told me I needed to be with him.
“I’ll be right back,” he said, getting out of the car. “I shouldn’t be too long, Mark.”
I took my phone out, turning it on to text Nash.
Me: We landed safely.
I sighed, leaning my head back ready for the day to be over.
It felt like it had been days since the incident had happened and all I wanted was some food, a shower and a good night’s sleep.
Beau probably had some fancy bathroom and an amazing bed.
A knock on the window startled me and I didn’t realize I had closed my eyes.
“Lower your window,” a younger man said, knocking on the window again.
I shook my head because there was no way I was listening to him.
“Sir, step away from the car.” Mark lowered the window.
“Who the fuck are you?” he snarled, hitting the window again.
“Sir, step away from the vehicle,” Mark said again, opening the door.
“Who the hell are you?” He hit the window, looked at Mark and then my window, snarling and walked away.
“Are you ok, ma’am?” Mark looked back.
“Yeah, does that happen often?” I continued to watch the man.
“When you're downtown you never know what’s going to happen,” he said, getting into the car. “I’m sorry about that.”
“It’s fine,” I said, checking my phone.
It had been twenty minutes since Beau left and I was getting a weird feeling.
“Mark, is there a sushi place around here?” I asked, figuring I would feel better after eating.
“There is T-Sushi just down the block,” he said, pointing up the street.
“Any good?” I asked, grabbing my purse.
“I think it’s the best,” he said, eyeing me warily.
“Great, I’m starving,” I said, opening the door. “I’m going to order us some food while we wait. I shouldn’t be too long.”
I walked out into the cool Denver afternoon, it was almost five and hopefully the place would be empty enough that I could order and come back quickly.
As I saw the restaurant, a feeling of being watched hit me and goosebumps peppered my skin.
Looking over my shoulder, I looked for the guy who had hit the SUV window, but I didn’t see him.
My hunger won over, in place of looking for the man, and I walked into paradise.
The restaurant was slow and I placed a big order of sushi.
It was way too much food, but everything sounded amazing.
Now I just needed a hot shower and Beau to talk to me, then maybe we could move on from this stupid day.
I almost wished we had waited for Nash, but whatever had brought us here must be very important.